Typical Disclaimers Apply
A/N: I rewrote this chapter three times. Please review!!
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Poppy Pomfrey had been dreading the morning. She'd put it off by heading to breakfast, hoping to be soothed by food, but the whispers in the Great Hall had only increased the knots in her stomach. Alecto's smug face and watching Snape stalk out of the hall, head bent, hadn't helped either.
Sirius had been one of her favorite students. He was often in the infirmary from the constant blowback of his and James' pranks. She'd been shocked when he was sent to Azkaban, and hadn't been surprised when he turned up innocent. Peter Pettigrew seemed much more likely to be a mass murderer. Not that she'd focused too much on that while they were in school, of course. But telling Sirius his wife was dead would be by far the hardest thing she'd ever done.
The Room of Requirement, that's where Snape had said they'd be. By the time she'd reached the blank wall, she was contemplating just leaving a note. But that would be too cruel. She walked past once, twice, and a third time. The door appeared, the knob looking warm and inviting. It twisted easily beneath her hand.
The door opened to gasps and shrieks. Students leapt off of colorful hammocks, wands drawn. The first face she saw was Terry Boot, his eyes wide as he recognized her. Slowly, the students lowered themselves back to their beds. Ginny Weasley was the only one who remained standing. She was watching the floor intently.
"So?" Terry said loudly. A few students fixed him cold looks, silencing him.
"Where is Sirius?" Pomfrey heard herself whisper. Terry jerked his head in the direction of a corner room separated by wooden walls. Her feet moved beneath her, towards the room. She stopped. "Ginny, you should come with me." Ginny followed, but didn't look up.
Sirius' room was small and cozy, with flickering lamps on every wall. In the center was a large bed, where Sirius sat quietly, fully clothed. His eyes were bloodstained and he was completely unshaven.
"You have news?" he asked, not quite looking at her.
"Sirius…" he bowed his head. "She was so far from the office; she was out, bleeding for so long. The curse ripped her apart, inside and out. It fills the lungs with blood before the recipient bleeds to death. Severus and I, we both did all we could."
"Was she in pain?" he whispered.
"No," she lied. "No, she didn't feel a thing. She must have fainted very quickly after Alecto placed the curse. She didn't feel herself suffocate, that much I can tell you."
Ginny stared hard at the wall. "There was no chance?" she finally murmured.
"I'm so sorry. I know this must be a terrible shock. She was so young."
"Please just go," Sirius snapped. Pomfrey left quietly, leaving Ginny and Sirius alone in the room.
"She's gone," Sirius finally murmured. "I can't believe she's gone." Ginny looked at him for a moment, and then rushed out of the room. He followed her as she raced to the blank portrait. "Just where do you think you're going?" he yelled.
"If Esme's dead," she answered morosely, "I have to tell Mum and Dad." With that she climbed through the portrait and left.
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"I don't understand," Esme said softly. She stared at her scar-crossed hands. "You mean you love like…like a sister? Is that why you want to protect me?"
"No, Esme," he sighed. "I love you like Sirius loves you. Romantically. But I don't expect you to ever feel something for me. I never have. It's just—"
"Sirius doesn't love me," she whispered.
"What?"
"He doesn't. Or at least I don't think he does. But then again, I don't think I'm in love with him anymore. We got married too young, and too quickly. I think we'll probably file for divorce after the war. If we survive, that is," she added bitterly.
"That's why I needed to tell you. I couldn't let this turn out like it did with Lily. She never knew, Esme. You had to know."
"I can't be with you, either," she murmured. "There's too much bad history between us. After some of the things you've done, the things you've said, I don't think I'll ever have full trust in you. And if I don't trust you, we can't be together."
"I understand," he said, swallowing.
"I'm sorry."
"If things had been different, if it had been me instead of Sirius, do you think it would have worked?"
Esme sat for a moment, watching him. Slowly and painfully, she swung her feet off of the sofa and onto the cold floor. For a second she stumbled and swayed, hoping for balance. A test step told her she could walk, and she began to make her way over to Snape. He watched her intently, although confusedly. She finally reached him, gripped the arm of his chair, and lowered her face to his. Her legs were aching and her head pounded like mad, but still she leaned forward and pressed their lips together.
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It didn't take long for the news of Esme's death to reach Potterwatch:
"It is with deepest regret and sorrows that we inform our listeners of the murders of Ted Tonks, Dirk Cresswell, and Professor Esmeralda Black, of Hogwarts."
In the back of the Potterwatch room, Fred swallowed heavily and nodded, as if confirming the information. Remus paled; this was the first he'd heard of it.
In her own home, Tonks dropped the blanket she'd been knitting for the baby and stared at the wireless.
In the tent, Ron slid to the floor, silent. Hermione bowed her head. Harry muttered to himself, "There's no way. It's not possible."
Molly, Arthur, and Ginny Weasley sat side by side in Auntie Muriel's parlor. There was nothing left to say.
Back in the Room of Requirement, nobody moved. There were no gasps at the announcements. No one seemed to hear a thing.
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It was week later before Snape posed the question once more. "Esme," he began, "when I asked you last week about whether or not we could have been together, and then you kissed me…what did that mean? Do you think, if things had been different, maybe we could have, you know, dated?" Esme looked at him, watching him intently. After a few painful minutes, she finally whispered:
"No."
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A/N: I have actually started to write just a single-chapter alternate-ending about what could have happened if Esme had never kissed Sirius. I'm still debating posting it.
Oh, and please review!
