What would you do if you got sucked inside your favorite book? What if it's Twilight? Life imitates art imitates life couldn't be a more fitting line! The story starts off with a regular girl from Southern California, only to suddenly find herself immersed in Stephenie Meyer's book "Twilight".

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SPOILER WARNING: The Twilight Saga - plus Midnight Sun - may and will be referenced from in this whole fanfic! Beware!

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer, unfortunately, owns Edward. And I don't (major sob). Along with other things like Jacob Black's eight pack (sob), Alice's wardrobe (more sob) and Edward's Vanquish (epic sob).

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Preview: "What're you doing in the shade, dummy?!" the God-like creature exclaimed.

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Chapter 3: Spoons and Forks ("Bella" 's POV)

I managed to get "home" (Charlie's house) without so much as a scratch on myself. True, I initially had no idea how to get to my "dad"/Charlie's house, but fundamentally I wasn't such a navigationally challenged person (thank God). I'll leave the rest of the events from after bumping into Alice at the parking lot and after for later… so for now, ladies and gents, this is basically how I prepare ammunition (against that phenomenon which is called Edward Cullen):

Judging from the rain, terrain, and everything else that ends in -ain, like pain and vain (cough Jessica Stanley cough, wheeze - I'll explain much later), for example, I'm in the city where THAT book started all right. Zip code: 98331. Click. Area code: 360. Click. Population: 3,120. Click. County: Clallam. Double click. Forks, Washington. Hovers mouse.

Research. D'oh.

"Something tells me we're not in Kansas anymore. Okay, not Kansas, but not California either," I entertained myself with such thoughts. But oh God, I would prefer to be in Spoons instead. (insert nth time to internally groan here.)

OH! that's Forks High's main building! I thought, as I saw the Wikipedia entry about the city of Forks. Why was I even excited? (Stupid, stupid Twilight-nerd inside myself ugh) Since I saw the familiar building on Wikipedia's website, I guess its still weird to have seen it in person. Through the eyes of Bella Swan. Sigh. Clicks on X. I'm here where that book started, all right, mm-hmm, whoop-dee-doo. Enough confirmation.

Trust Wikipedia to exist even in an alternate universe! Ah, but at least something is familiar - and "real". "But real at this point is a rather vague concept already," thinking to myself as I took a bite of my crumble coffee cake. I then blinked, as I realized the page I was trying to open still hasn't loaded properly… or at all!

If this computer takes longer to load, I think I'm going to stab someone.

Or ask Alice for help.

The last idea seemed very tempting at first, as I know she wouldn't freak out as much as any of the characters would, if I told them of this situation of mine - that I was certain of. Yay for hyper pixies high on pixie sticks!! But not yet, I knew it wasn't time to meet the Cullens yet. Oh man.

I took a sip of my Coke, and savoring the fact that it still tastes the same, regardless of time, space or universe… and took another bite of my coffee crumble cake. Yum.

Damn that cat killed by curiosity, I might get killed by a vampire one of these days! How can this computer - if I can even call it that - betray me like this?! SO SLOW! I opened another window, waiting for it to completely load. Planning to find out more about my predicament, I had 3 windows open already, and research was the game right now…

I wonder. The idea light bulb in my head lit up, oh yeah. I entered "GOOGLE" in the URL box, and once again, another familiar site… sight, no more puns I swear, appeared before me. YAY. I then proceeded to type in the word that started with a T and ended with an WILIGHT.

Game Downloads - Twilight games.

Game downloads and free demos. The developers of Aargon Deluxe, Beetlebomp, Mahjongg Variations and more! Download safe and high quality games for the whole ...

Okay, not quite what I'm looking for, I thought.

Twilight Criterium 2008

Twilight Criterium, a Pro Cycling Event. Celebrate over 28 years of sports, music, and road rash in downtown Athens, Ga April 25 - April 26, 2008.

Right, not what I'm looking for either.

I continued browsing until I could scroll no more. At page 200 of the Google search results, I knew I had to stop. So…

Huh. No "bestseller" claimed as "Best Book of the Decade… So Far" by Amazon. Go figure.

Well that makes sense, the book about the vampire and the "dainty" girl's exploits wouldn't be in the same universe as, well, the vampire and the dainty girl's existence. Oh well, at least Google and Wikipedia are still there, all hope has not been lost. Yet.

Oh God, I hope Starbucks exists here too… I crossed my fingers, knowing very well my best friend in real life, a.k.a. outside of this book, would stumble upon this fact, and hope as much as heck it does. With the amount of caffeine we ingest, one would wonder HOW we ever sleep… or if we've already paid off the tuition fees of the broke college student baristas who work there. I felt teary eyed as I remembered my best friend, family, and everything left behind. Suck it up, idiot! Work hard to get back home! I practically screamed to myself. Sigh.

Anyway… the speed, if I would still be allowed as to stress about it even more, of the internet and this computer… was like a tortoise without legs. Trying to outrun the cyclists in the Tour De France. With eyes closed. Yep.

A new laptop is in dire need.

I turned off "my" computer that looked like it was meant for the Louvre, instead of on top of my- no, Bella's wooden desk. I was using version God knows what of Microsoft's Internet Explorer that I'm pretty sure exceeds the age of the computer itself. I was shocked that it even worked. Ah, but I was more shocked that people still even use dial-up internet these days (and that they're still available!)… Having wasted a complete 5 minutes of my life turning on, then proceeding to waste another 5 shutting down, my first plan was to get this thing upgraded. And by that, I actually mean donated.

"Sorry Bella, I know you don't like receiving things, but consider it a gift from me," I said silently, as if trying to talk to myself that isn't myself, if y'all catch my drift.

As much as I am in half-denial, quarter-panic and quarter-about-to-cry mode, I knew I still have to think rationally. I need a proper working computer to make making my escape from here work.

However, much to my dismay, there are no Best Buys, Circuit City's or Frys' nearby, this much I could gather from my ride around town earlier. "AHA!" I exclaimed out loud. (I'm just wondering if Charlie thinks I'm insane yet, I know he can hear me right now - we just finished eating dinner and my room isn't exactly too sound proof, from what I can tell.) "Seattle day!!" WHEE this way, I knew, I could avoid Edward again somehow! But why do I have the feeling I can't go against the book's course of actions much? Eerie…

Oh well, only question left is how do I pay for the new computer? Hmm… I'll have to check if my real bank account is available in this world.

And so I checked online with Bank of America.

Holy crap, I felt like I won the lotto right then and there! Fundage is a good thing!

I saw that indeed my (and I mean my my, not Bella's) checking account could be accessed online. I rummaged a bit through Bella's things (sorry, Bella!) and found her checkbook. I punched in the numbers of her account and managed to send her/me (ugh so confusing) more than enough money for the laptop and some expenses I will inevitably have to make while being… here.

Doesn't this mean I can go check on my in my real body back in California? Oh groan, never miiiind… as long as I'm in this body, I can't very well change the way the world revolves yet and meet myself! Must not intervene. I'm sticking to plan A! Go through the book!

Sigh. What can I say? Aside from that, gathering of information and ammunition is required! I'm a girl scout, one step short of a CIA agent. I am desperate to get back home. Or back to my own body, at least.

So then, I decided to make a list.

I hop-scotched to my bed, getting comfortable underneath the comforter, and trying to keep warm. I picked up a notebook that was beside the pile of books to the right of Bella's/my bed, and started writing in it; it was relatively empty so I decided to start using it as my "planner". A planner designed to plan to get me out of here.

Number 1: Prepare for Edward's return in one week's time (I remember that he disappeared, going to Alaska, during this week.)

Number 2: Prepare for his dazzlingness for when he comes back. (practice being dazzling yourself - to him! - offense is the best defense in this case.)

Number 3: Warm Alice up to the idea (I think I need her help for something…)

Number 4: Get Jessica, Mike and Tyler off your/my/Bella's case… ASAP!! (Already too many problems as it is! Groan)

Number 5: Always wear turtlenecks, scarves, or anything that can cover up the jugular arteries. Or any major arteries, for that matter.

And lastly, for now:

Number 6: DON'T BLUSH AROUND A CERTAIN TOPAZ EYED, TOUSLED BRONZE HAIRED, GOD-LIKE BEING.

I tried to brainstorm harder, but a number 7 wasn't coming so I gave in to my eyelids that were proving to be heavier than lead. It was only 8 in the evening, but I think the whole time-space continuum bendy traveler thingamabobber thing was the cause of this exhaustion. "NIGHT DAD!" I yelled out to Charlie, and he replied in the same way, shouting through his door. It was kind of cute.

I slept rather shallowly, and woke up at 4:04 in the morning. Wanting more shut eye, as I have always been used to sleeping a whopping 10 hours, I closed my eyes and sleep invited me back rather warmly.

Then I started to dream.

It was the meadow scene. Oh lord, I'm dreaming of a dream in a dream world I used to dream about. Can things get any more complicated? Oh yes they can, because in my dream, the Adonis-esque looking creature entered the scene and was grinning at me from ear to ear, his golden eyes looking as fluid as ever making it seem like you could get lost in them. But as I tore my gaze away from his eyes, I saw what he was doing.

Flabbergasted - hehe, it sounds funny - but it's what I am right now in consequence to Edward's actions.

In a playful manner as if flaunting his sparkly skin in the sun, he was motioning for me to come closer to him. It seemed the opposite thing was happening, as I was still in the shade, and him basking under the sun.

"That's not how it was in the book…" the voice in the back of my head said, but I quickly drowned it out, as I dreamed. Even in this surreal scene, the creature's mere silhouette was terrifyingly stunning thereby stunning me. Damn the irony! I thought I prepared enough so as not to be dazzled by the said dazzling creature.

"What're you doing in the shade, dummy?!" the God-like creature exclaimed. "Uh, lounging?" I replied, trying to sound sarcastic, only to be dragged out playfully - and might I mention gently? - out in the open field with the sun shining down upon it.

My train of thought immediately halted. The creature smiled slightly as I stood frozen in front of him, just millilmeters away from his torso (OH MY GOD, HE HAS HIS ARMS AROUND MY WAIST! OH. MY. GOD. TOO CLOSE - TOO CLOSE - TOO CLOSE!!), admiring every inch of him.

"Stop staring, or I'll melt, love…" he then fully broke out his heart-stopping crooked smile, only to continue "or you'll drool!"(Emmett, is that you instead of Edward? I had to wonder). He let out a light chuckle, making my heart do somersaults, aerials and front handsprings (no kidding). "Huh, so vampires can be sarcastic too… no, so Edward can be sarcastic too!" I felt a warm feeling spread in my chest, threatening to make my heart explode (no way in hell that'd be good happening near Edward). This sure beats that whole ordeal with Jessica and Mike earlier… Is this a premonition of things to come?

"Ah screw it. If this is hell," I thought momentarily, "I don't need heaven - I'll take it!"

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Author's notes:

Well, without mentioning, I guess this is somewhat Edward's entrance, yeah? Haha. Don't worry, fluff will come in sooner or later.

For the record, I do not actually believe that Stephenie Meyer owns Jacob Black's eight pack - or at least not after he turns 18. Oh this can be so misconstrued!

Ah, and I did use actual references for the google search results, for one - disregarding all of the other bajillion Twilight results (rolls eyes)

For the record, the Wiki entry for Forks doesn't have Forks High School's photos in it. I was just pulling your legs, folks lol

What else… what else…

Ah, I apologize to everyone. I know I'm dragging out the story way longer than it should be… but don't worry! I'll work on just focusing on key scenes lol I'm looking forward to dissecting the well known ones, anyway.

And lastly, yes, an EPOV is on its way soon! Yes, Edward's point of view… MADE OF WIN!! Probably chapter 5. No, I just decided like 5 seconds after typing "chapter 5" that it will in FACT be chapter 5. Ho-ho-ho! (I'm not trying to sound like Santa lol)