(A/N) Okay so this is the second time writing this chapter (last time my stupid computer commited suicide right as I was finishing), so I'm hoping to make it even better! ...Hoping not promising, okay? Okay. So, lot's of people think this is yaoi, it's not. Okay well it's not straight either. The pairing isn't decided yet! Why? Um... because... I'm afraid of my fans ripping me to shreds if I make the wrong decision... some of you guys are scary okay!!!

Disclaimer: I still don't own Fullmetal Alchemist and cave people still eat their spawns.

Other Disclaimer: Stereotypes in this fanfic... blah blah... don't agree... blah blah NON-CONFORMING!

"Oh Edwaaaard?" Winry said in a suspiciously sweet voice.

"What?" I asked some what annoyed by her tone.

"Will you buy me some food? I'm really hungry..." She said with sad eyes, looking like a pathetic little puppy.

"Sorry, but my money is in my pants back at YOUR house..." I glared.

Roy snickered, probably at the thought of my pants being left at Winry's house. I glared at him as well.

"Fine." She turned around and continued leading us to whatever hellish place we'd be dragged next.

"Hey Roy, can you buy her something?" I asked, knowing if Winry didn't eat things would get even worse... if possible of course.

"No, quit spoiling her." He said aggrivated, "Just because she's your first girlfriend-"

"MY WHAT?" I stopped him, my eyes wide with shock in what he'd said.

"Oh come on now, I already know. If you want to spoil her why don't you go be a man and earn her some food huh?" he leaned down and whispered in my ear "I hear gay prostitutes make a nice wage."

I slammed my fist into his gut. I'd heard enough, and he'd pissed me off.

He punched me back. I kicked him. He smacked my face. I pushed him to the ground. It was all pretty pathetic really, we ended up rolling on the ground hitting eachother.

Seeing how neither of us were used to wearing skirts, well I don't know about Roy, we failed to notice that rolling on the ground tended to cause said skirts to go up. Revealing things better left not seen.

Though the two of us weren't so intellegent at that time, we both were smart enough not to do the typical hair pulling move used by so many girls.

Of course a few people around us, being the dumbasses they were, thought we were actually girls...

"Girl fight!"

"Bitch slap her!"

"Whoa check THAT out!"

Only a few things I could hear coming from the crowd. Of course I wasn't fully paying attention so I didn't care.

The only thing on my mind at the time was beating the crap out of Roy.. or Royette in his current state anyways.

Now the only thing that could please the onlookers more would be another girl to beat the shit out of us, Winry, of course, was that girl.

Completely stunned by the fact that I was getting kicked by someone other than Roy, I was in utter confusion. I'm guessing he was thinking the same thing.

When we'd come to our senses the fight was over, and Winry was two inches away from my face. Much to my displeasure though, it wasn't her face that was above me.

"You idiots." she was leaning over me to check if Roy's wig was secure.

"Uhm... Winry." I kept my eyes closed "Can you please move?"

"You've got a rack of your own now, be mature about this and just hang on I'm fixing his hair." she said coldly.

I knew she wasn't doing it on purpose, but gawd was it bothering me.

"There," I could feel her standing up beside me "now let's go before you cause another scene."

I opened my eyes and tried to stand up. Failing horribly, seeing how I was bruised all over. "AGH!" I winced as I finally made it to my feet.

I could see Roy still laying on the ground. "Just leave me here to die." he groaned.

"Do you need help miss? I'll gladly carry you if you can't walk?" a boy who I recognized from when I was in middle school, Envy I believed his name was.

"No! That's alright!" Roy said leaping to his feet, pretending to look unscathed.

"Suit yourself." Envy walked off.

I chuckled and Roy sent a deadly look in my direction.

"So..." Winry grinned "ladies. Why don't we go..." she paused and looked over to her left, my eyes followed where she was looking.

"Look it's Riza!" Winry yelled and waved Riza Hawkeye over. That was it, me and Roy were going to be busted... I just knew it. Riza is just too smart not to realize the obvious... right?

"Hey Winry." she smiled as she walked up to us. "Who are they?" she motioned at me and... Royette.

"Oh!" Winry exclaimed "Edwina" she pointed at me, "And Royette." Wait how did she know my fake name?

I gave her a questioning look but she just ignored it. I shrugged and smiled at Riza. "Hello." She smiled back and nodded "My name's Riza."

Roy stood there gawking at her. I know she wasn't in her normal school attire which we were used to but... really... must he be such a ... well in this case he was just being a lesbian.

"I don't think she bends that way missy." I hissed into his ear. "Wipe the drool off your chin."

He shot me yet another evil glare and Winry started talking again. "Let's go do some girl stuff!" She was SO torturing us.

"Uhm..." Riza looked awkwardly, probably because Roy was acting stupid "Alright."

Winry smiled and grabbed Royette and I, and dragged us in the direction of some bizzare smell. It smelled like... perfume?

When we'd reached our destination my jaw dropped. It was what I'd call a 'whore store'. Winry was going to make us go in a store with tiny frilly dresses and freakishly frilly underwear.

"I'M OUT!" I turned to leave, but Winry grabbed me by the shirt.

"Ah come on," she started pulling "I think I see a dress that would look so cute on you!"

"Ah um." Riza looked at Winry pleadingly "I think we're better off going somewhere else."

"Oh but really," Roy put his hand on Riza's shoulder "I think that it'd be fun."

They all started slowly entering and I grabbed Winry and whispered in her ear "If we go in that store you're going to have to model stuff for us."

Winry paused and thought for a moment. "Hey guys, why don't we just get our nails done instead?" she said a little shook up from my threat.

Everyone agreed thankfully, Royette wasn't too disappointed (sick freak), and we headed for the salon not much further down.

Though I would normally protest such a ridiculous thing, at least it would eat up time and I wouldn't have to subject myself to a slutty fashion show.

I was actually surprised that Winry didn't put up a fight. Would that really be that embarassing for her?

I made a motion towards Roy and he began talking to Riza and they swiftly headed into the salon.

I held out my arm and stopped Winry. "Hey.." I said to her "how'd you know my alias was Edwina?"

She laughed. "Do you really think I would've left you all by yourself? I was following not that far behind. How'd you think I got to the mall so fast when you called me?"

I smiled at her. Maybe she wasn't THAT terrible of a friend... okay she wasn't really. I just didn't like being in a skirt I suppose.

We headed into the salon only to discover the mass chaos that had errupted while we were alone. We'd only been away from Roy and Riza for a few minutes... yet...

There it stood in front of me. The most disturbing thing I'd ever seen.

Roy, his wig on the ground, had Riza pressed up against the wall, and was kissing her. He was still dressed like a girl, and his cleavage still in tact, he was KISSING Riza.

Everyone else in the room had fallen silent.

"What.." my mouth fell silent.

"...the hell?" Winry finished my thought.

(A/N) What happened and why are they kissing hm?? I wonder! HAHA! Cliff hangers are so much fun for me. Anyways, still no definite pairings are revealed. Yaoi? Straight? This fic is still undecided! Sorry it's taking me so long but hey, that just means it'll be longer right? ... I hope. I guess I did a pretty good job with this one, it even had a fight! (I still don't understand the hair pulling thing some girls do... why not just punch? Either way Ed and Roy fought good.) So yes... review please!