Chapter Eighteen

Greenspan

Finally the Tok'ra are here to take care of Maureen, even earlier than we'd expected them. Just a day longer, and I'd have personally geared up to drag their asses over here. Last time I visited her, she'd resorted to monosyllabic answers and drawing back into a shell. She'd not even moved to look at me, simply sat on her bench, with her arms around her knees, making herself small and nearly invisible in the cell's half-dark.

And now they've set up camp in one of the isolation rooms and I'm sprinting through the corridors to get there in time. I'm not allowed inside, but I'll be damned if I don't take the chance to at least monitor the process. Additionally, I'll probably finally find Tom and give him what he deserves for bailing Dee out of the infirmary. The good Sergeant didn't tell me anything and stoically endured me telling him off for escaping. But I just know that he could never have gotten out if Tom hadn't charmed one of the gullible little things there to let him. When will they ever learn that I don't tell them to stay in the infirmary to torture them? Honestly, I really don't like getting of on Dee… especially on him, because he really rarely gives me cause to, but… conspiring with Tom behind me back? Geez.

Ah, finally the right observation room… When I open the door, I see Tom standing in front of the window with his hands in his pockets and the eyes on the things happening on the other side. Something in his bearing makes me decide to drop the wigging, at least for the time being. I wonder what's going on in his head. I've known Tom for nearly all my life, and usually I know what he's thinking, but right now I'm drawing a blank. That only happens once in a million years, so I'm just not used to it.

But anyway, musing won't get me answers and so I walk up to him. "Already regretting your decision?" He doesn't jump or even twitch and that never ceases to amaze me. Instead, he rubs a hand over his face and takes his time with answering. Down in the isolation room, the Tok'ra have prepped Reece, and he shortly concentrates on this. It makes me wonder how much he still feels guilty for everything that happened.

Then: "Are you? Regretting your decision, I mean." Huh. Good question. Am I? I mean, Maureen did suffer a lot on this mission and the question is: Even if she is cut out for this – and I don't doubt that – do we have to put her through other missions like the last one? Or do we have the responsibility not to put this on her shoulders?

I take a deep breath. The nature of my posting usually prevents me from having to fulfil classical officer duties – that is to say being responsible for more than one or two people and having to make personnel decisions on a daily basis – but this is exactly one of these decisions. I have the fate of a young woman on my hands, and I have to be sure of what I'm doing. "No. She can do this. And if she takes up the offer, she knows exactly what she signs up for. We aren't acting against our responsibility."

He takes his hands out of his pockets and leans on the rails. Down in the pit, Reece has closed her eyes and the Tok'ra technicians have started to play around with her brainwaves. "I know. It's just… I'm not doubting her potential, no matter how much you still believe that. I just wonder… does every potential have to be developed?" It's really getting to him. He feels very responsible for everything that happened to her.

Sometimes… sometimes I wish he was a little less… well… himself. As long as I've known him he felt responsible for people weaker or younger than him that were somehow entrusted to his care. When something happens to those, he always sees it as his personal failure, even if it wasn't. And even if it nearly breaks him. When he was 16, his younger brother died in an accident. Nothing of it was Tom's fault, but the guilt about that made him separate himself from everyone around him for the better part of a year. And it has turned him into the man he is today.

People like to joke about or roll their eyes at the pressure he puts on all of us. No other team has such a rigid training routine as we have, not even SG1. But he's not doing that because he's got some sadistic streak or is overambitious, but because he wants us to prepared for our job in the best of ways.

"You did the right thing, Tom. Stop beating yourself up about it. You're giving a Marine officer a chance to grow and shine no one else would have given her, because no one else would have put her in a situation that challenged everything she's got buried inside of her." By now, Maureen has started to writhe around in her chair, fighting the restraints around her wrists. They explained to us that this was very likely to happen and no sign for worry, but it's still… disconcerting. I still force myself to watch it.

"Grow and shine… Laura, don't delude yourself. She's probably never gonna be a Marine Corps poster girl. Serving with us will mean very hard work for her, harder than Dee and you have to work. And it'll mean hard work for us. I just don't know if it's really worth it." Oh yes, he does. He's just afraid of making the wrong decisions. The only reason that I actually get to see this is that he knows he can't hide it from me anyway. Sometimes I wonder what people would think about him if they got to see this insecure and self-doubting side of him.

"It is, and you know it. Don't tell me you aren't intrigued by the challenge of moulding Maureen Reece into what she's supposed to be." Finally he turns away from the process down below. Probably just because they're finally done and Maureen is being brought to the infirmary.

On his face, there's a half-grin, but it's not surprising me. "'Course I am. Everyone can lead a team of elite soldiers. But only we can lead a team with a linguist that would have never been here if she hadn't been intended to compromise the SGC."

In the isolation room, they're done with prepping Maureen for the infirmary and that's my clue to leave and join the infirmary staff to do the final check-up on Maureen. As a good-bye, I simply squeeze his shoulder and say: "You're a good man, Thomas Moore."

He heaves a little sigh. "Let's just hope it's enough." Well… maybe no wigging today. I know that he has an appointment with General O'Neill today, and giving him an ear full before that is just not a good idea. So I simply give him a last encouraging smile and sprint back to the infirmary.

Moore

Huh. Still no dressing down for bailing Dee out of the infirmary? Who is that and what has she done with Laura Greenspan? I just bet she's already found out that I'm to blame, but something obviously kept her from telling me off for that. Probably just pity, because she knows that today I have my appointment with General O'Neill about Reece's future on our team, and I'm not really looking forward to that. But anyway, he might be a legend and a veteran and a General, but I've had worse adversaries. Best defense is an offence. Yeah.

With that resolve, I knock at the Old Man's door and it's answered immediately. When I enter, I feel my heart sink, because he already looks grumpy. Do I want to know what caused that? Mh. No, probably not. He gestures for me to have a seat without even giving me time for proper reporting and leans back in his seat. "Well, Major… I take it you've come to a decision regarding Lieutenant Reece?"

I nod. "Yes, sir." I know I shouldn't, but I just can't help myself. "And before anything else: Let me tell you that I really took my time and that it was not an easy one."

O'Neill lifts an eyebrow. "Are you going to tell me that you want her to stay, Major?" He doesn't look like he'd approve of it if I say yes now. But it was a team decision and it's my responsibility to carry it through.

"Actually… yes, sir."

Silence. The kind of silence that precedes a thunderstorm. Uh-oh. "Alright. Who are you and what have you done to Major Moore?" Not quite a thunderstorm, but I can see the clouds already piling up. Why exactly did I let Laura and Dee talk me into this?

"I know it's not what you expected, sir…"

"Damn right it isn't." Hey! Would you please let me finish my sentence?

"But it was a team decision. We want to keep Lieutenant Reece on the team. If she wants to, that is. Laura… Captain Greenspan reviewed the records and is positive that the brainwashing can be fully removed with the help of the Tok'ra. Which just happened, by the way." He shakes his head and looks about ready to explode. This is not really going well.

"And Captain Greenspan is an expert on the field of what? Virology, right?" Mh. Still not exploding. But becoming more acidly. Not exactly better.

"Captain Greenspan is a very capable doctor, sir, and well-trained in more than one field." You're a walking corpse now, Major Moore. And you're damn stupid. Throwing away your life as a career soldier for that slip of a Marine Lieutenant. You idiot.

"Major Moore… please help me in case I didn't get this right… you're an exceptional soldier, excellent results at the Academy, having served in Iraq, Afghanistan, Bosnia and quite a few other spots of trouble, looking like a Christmas tree when putting on your Dress Blues, with sound judgment and all the other things that we want in our SF soldiers…" Uh-oh… I can feel it already… he's going to blow, big time. "So why the hell do you think it's a fucking good idea to keep a damn NID sleeper agent on your team?" Yep. Bellowing now at me. Finally.

"She's not a…"

"I'm not done yet, Moore. She nearly shot you, for heaven's sake! How could that convince you of all people to keep her? Are you insane? You know, I think I'll ask Daniel to check if it's really Major Moore he put back in that body. It's the only reasonable explanation for the stupid idea of keeping a security risk like Maureen Reece." Okay, that's enough. I don't have to listen to this, most of all not from General "Give the poor girl a chance." O'Neill. Besides he's starting to insult not only myself but the judgment of my whole team.

I can't help sounding a little impatient and grudging as I reply: "Most of all, sir, she's still a member of my team." God, you just signed your own dishonorable discharge by the look O'Neill throws you.

"Most of all, Major Moore, this base and this operation are in my responsibility. I am the one who's got to answer to the brass when something goes wrong here, and something did go wrong. It's my fucking job to fix that." Now, now, General, don't let yourself get carried away, right? I take a deep breath. No use in further trying to fix what already went FUBAR.

"With all due respect, sir… the only thing that really went wrong on this mission was that I didn't listen to my linguist repeatedly and touched something I shouldn't have touched, among other things." He wants to speak up again, but I've had it now. I may not be what you'd call someone constantly making their superiors go crazy but I didn't get this far by always being a good little tin soldier and follow everything they told me. "And it was to Lieutenant Reece's efforts, too, that we still managed to fulfill the mission's objectives. We managed to infiltrate exactly the base we were looking for, gathered intel on some weapons projects and experimental brainwashing performed on more Marines than just Maureen Reece by rogue NID agents, got very valuable data on the infiltration of the SGC and even got to blow the whole thing up, thereby effectively eliminating a threat."

Silence. O'Neill still doesn't look very amused and wants to start yelling again, but suddenly catches himself and rubs a hand over his eyes. "Alright. Fine. But that still doesn't change the fact that Lieutenant Reece nearly succumbed to her brainwashing and jeopardized not only the mission but also the whole SGC."

Phew. Finally back to a sensible discussion. I lean back in my chair. "Yes, sir. But the operative word here is "nearly". Even though she had severe difficulties to keep a clear head and battle her brainwashing she managed to listen to orders that were given by me. Her loyalty and dedication to the SGC were stronger than anything the NID planted into her head. You might think that she's a basket case, sir, but I think she's worth the risk. She might not be the best officer the USMC has to offer – and maybe never will be – but she's a quick learner, dutiful, fit and a hell of a linguist. Transferring or even discharging her would be, to my mind, a mistake. Apart from that… I'm tired of having to go looking for a new linguist every three months."

I rub my own hand over my eyes. It's been a hard four days. First the whole research about the body-changing, all the time accompanied by heavily armed SFs, as if Reece was a bomb ready to explode any moment. Then when we'd been done with that, Reece being put into the brig and that team discussion about what to do with her. I've been down visiting her more than once, and every time it got worse. She'd been resigned to her fate, very unlike the strong officer I'd gotten to know on our mission, more like her usual self. That had been kind of disturbing actually, and somehow I couldn't bear to see that again, after all we'd been through to that point.

O'Neill is still quiet, thinking everything over I just said. Seems that actually made an impression on him after all, which surprises me a little. But to be honest: If there's any fault you can accuse Jack O'Neill of it's certainly not being an autocrat. Finally he leans forward on his elbows. "Well… one thing, Major: She's your responsibility. Anything – just anything – happens, and it's your head that rolls. You'll take the full blame for that. You and nobody else. Clear?" Whoa. Geez. He just said yes. I'd better not argue about his conditions, though.

"Crystal, sir." He nods, obviously satisfied.

"Good. Now… out of my office, before I change my mind." Well… I do recognize a dismissal when I hear one, so I jump up and give him a crisp salute, before leaving his office. Well, then… guess I better head for the infirmary ASAP.

But shortly before reaching it, someone calls out behind me: "Hey, if that isn't hero Tom Moore." I turn around. Look who just got back from mining. Major Evan Lorne.

"And if that isn't mole Evan Lorne." He grimaces.

"Point taken. Anyway… just heard you'd quite a go at the Old Man." The SGC truly is the most gossipy base I've ever served at. How that hell did that get that fast to Lorne, who most possibly has just been back from his mining planet?

"Well, then, you heard wrong. We just… had a little disagreement about one of my team members. Now the thing is solved and I refuse to talk about it any further." He grins. This must be a field day for him. We've known each other since the Air Force Academy. Back then I'd been lazy as hell – well, compared to my other classmates, that is – and additionally I had a penchant for getting myself into trouble with superiors. And somehow he had always ended up being the one forcing me to study, study and then study a little more and help me sort out the messes I'd gotten myself into.

"Aw, come on. You are one of the few soldiers to win an argument over the legendary Jack O'Neill and survive to tell the tale. You can be proud of that." He grins. I'm not in the grinning mood, however.

"Ha ha, very funny." Grin widens even further.

"Absolutely. You've got to tell me one day." Mh. I might even take him up on that. He still owes me a beer for that risky SAR mission on P3X-345 we had to pull for his team.

"Maybe. Just not today. If you'll excuse me… I have to tell some happy news to my linguist now." He raises his eyebrow and purses his lips, as if to say "You know how that just sounded, right?", and the absurdity of that comment finally gets to me. Now I have to grin a little myself. "It's not what it sounds like." Now he laughs.

"Alright. Good luck with that. And if you happen to have some time in the next three weeks… bring over your team for some beer and barbecue. I'd really like to get to know that linguist that made you go toe to toe with O'Neill of all people." I just roll my eyes and tell him to get lost, which he does with another laugh. Only then the double meaning of his last comment hits home. He didn't really think… Oh man, Evan Lorne is so in for a round of sparring.

A/N: Look who pestered me into giving him a cameo :D I just couldn't resist him. And I mean... who could? ;)