Flashback is again written in Italics.
Lois' inner thoughs while she's speaking are written inside round brackets
Chapter 7
Clark spoke with Doctor Klein about Jerome's condition, even though it made him uncomfortable talking about it with the boy right there in front of them. But since Jerome had superhearing he would be able to listen anyway. They kept talking, although Clark's attention was distracted as he glanced towards the door at least twenty times a minute. It was now quite some time since Lois had gone to the rest room. He was becoming worried.Jerome stood up with an effort and approached the man he knew as his father. "Superman...Mom is crying. I can hear her."Clark smiled, noticing that Jerome remembered to call him Superman and not Clark. He knelt in order to look the boy in the eyes. "I know," he whispered. "I can hear her too. But she needed to be alone for a while. She always needs to be alone when she is worried. But I'm going to check on her. Okay?"Jerome nodded."Doctor Klein, can you excuse me for a moment?""Sure Superman... go... I'll check this little boy. He's quite pale... ""Thanks," Clark answered. Then he turned toward Jerome again. "I'll be back in few minutes. Don't worry about your mom, and if you need me, just call, okay?" The boy nodded again and in a second Superman was out the door.
ooOOoo
A moment later, Clark was knocking at the door of the rest room."Lois? Can I come in?"No answer."Lois?"No answer again."Lois? I'm coming in..."
ooOOoo
Lois was staring at herself in the mirror, without really looking or caring about what she saw. She heard Clark talking to her through the door, but she didn't understand his words. All she could think about was how she had hurt him all those years ago.
And all that happened was so fearfully clear in her memory.
/Eight years and half ago/
Stuffing everything she had into her suitcase wasn't too big an effort. She simply did it carelessly, without much care for the result. She was happy again. And was going to be happy for the rest of her life.
A new life.
A life with Clark.
She arrived at the airport ahead of time. She decided to go have some breakfast while she was waiting for her call to board. She was very hungry. She ate a big salad and some fruit. She hadn't realized how hungry she was.
It was a short time later that she started to regret this. Her stomach was not so good. She had to visit the rest room twice before the plane left Los Angeles. Even during the flight she felt sick and tired. Luckily her tiredness was stronger than her feeling of sickness, so she slept through most of her journey.
Upon her arrival in Metropolis she collected her bag and took the first available cab home. She was barely able to stay awake during the ride and she dropped her suitcase on the floor as soon as she unlocked the door.
She fell asleep on the couch before she had time to call Clark. It was almost a couple of hours later before she awoke. Her first thought was for the one she was in love with.
"Oh, my God, I'm starting to think like a teenager. But..." She smiled to herself as she dialed Clark's number.
"Hi! I'm sorry, I fell asleep when I got in... I didn't mean to make you worry. I was a little sick on the plane so maybe...I don't know, maybe I have a touch of flu or something. I hurt everywhere." Well, that was a little lie. She didn't hurt exactly everywhere, just her breasts were hurting, but she was too embarrassed to tell Clark that. "Yes, don't worry, it's not so bad. Sure, I'll be fine soon. And I never felt so happy in my whole life, that's bound to make me better soon. I love you too. What? Of course you can! You can call me whenever you want! You can't disturb me. Have you any idea how wonderful it is to hear you say these things?" She laughed. "Yes, for me too...me too...so much...goodnight..."
Lois felt wonderful. She had never felt this way in her entire life. But suddenly she slapped a hand over her mouth and ran for the bathroom.
"Damn flu! Just when I was getting happy!"
The next morning she was still a little sick. It was so hard to get up, to dress, and to go into LNN. She felt so sleepy. She had to fight with herself in order not to fall asleep while she was driving. And the feeling of nausea never left her the entire week. Her boss finally advised her to visit her doctor.
She was unprepared for what the doctor said to her. "Lois, you have all the signs of a classic pregnancy... You seem to be straight out of the manual."
Pregnant? Could she be pregnant with Clark's child? Oh god it was so strange but...it would be wonderful to have a little Clark within her. Oh, please...
"Pregnant? Are you serious?"
"You think it's impossible?" the doctor looked at her with a funny grin.
"No... I mean it could be very possible... But... I don't... I mean I don't..."
"I wonder why it is that every time... women think that's almost impossible! It's been happening since the world started..."
Clark's baby. This was her only thought.
"Well, Lois, I'm going to schedule you for a few tests tomorrow. I'll wait until the results are in before offering my congratulations. But I'd guess that in seven, eight months we'll have a little Lex Luthor."
She smiled before she truly understood the real meaning of his words. Then suddenly she became pale and the room seemed to revolve around her.
"What?" She even didn't try to hide the panic in her voice.
"Well, it's not so frightening, Lois. Seven or eight months aren't so different from nine."
"They are! When...when did I conceive?"
"Lois, we still don't know if you are even really pregnant. Don't worry, it's not so bad!"
"Could I have conceived as early as a week ago?" She prayed for a yes.
"Lois, pregnancy isn't that quick to show. Your body needs time to adjust to the idea of being pregnant. I never heard of morning sickness being so immediate. Perhaps at least three weeks, but not before..." The doctor looked at her. He had been her doctor since she was a child. He knew her well. Obviously it hadn't been the answer she wanted.
"Lois, do you need someone to take you home?" She nodded. She wasn't even able to stand up. "I'll ask my son to drive you. You lie down till I get back. Okay?" She nodded again, doing as he said.
An hour after she returned to her apartment, her phone rang. She hardly had the will to answer it.
"What?" she asked without caring about the answer.
"Lois! Is everything all right?"
"Clark...it's so good to hear your voice!" She had never felt so relieved to hear him.
"Are you all right?"
"No..." She took a deep breath before finishing. "...it's just this damn flu," she lied.
"If you need me I can be there faster..."
No...really, I'll be fine soon. Don't worry about me."
"Are you sure?!"
"Yes, really. Please don't worry. You have a new series of articles to write. You need to concentrate. I know how that works. I miss it so much!"
"When we're together you can go back to writing. We'll find a way."
She smiled slightly. "I love you, Clark," she said sadly. Why couldn't it have been Clark's baby?
She cried so much after putting down the phone. What was she going to do? What was the right thing to do?
Clark loved her with all he had, every part of himself. Lex didn't care about her.
Clark was the one she loved. Lex was her husband.
Yes, that was true.
Clark would be the best father for her son.
But Lex was her son's father.
ooOOoo
The next morning, when she went into the doctor's laboratory she felt entirely without hope. She felt sure that the doctor was right about her pregnancy.
The result of the test was almost immediate: positive. The doctor accompanied her into his colleague's lab for an Ultrasound scan He understood that finding out when the baby had been conceived was almost vital for her.
Again, he understood that the answer they got wasn't the one she wanted. She burst into sobs and cried for a long time.
What if Clark didn't want her, now that she was carrying the child of his biggest enemy? Was she going to be alone again?
No...no, it was Clark she was talking about here. But why couldn't this child have been Clark's son?
ooOOoo
To Be Continued
Remember that Feedback are always welcome!!
Lex arrived late that evening. He wasn't surprised that Lois wasn't sleeping in the same bedroom. It was almost a month since they last slept together. Lois heard him arrive home and after a while, she gathered her courage to go to speak with him.
"Oh... my sweet wife come to welcome me home... How lucky am I..." Lex said with more than a hint of sarcasm.
"It's not funny Lex!"
"Oh... poor lady... it's not funny? And the way you behave to me? That's funny?"
"I have to speak with you."
"Oh... Why? You never seem to want to speak with me lately, remember? I wondered if you still remembered me... I'm your husband, the one with whom you had sex for the last year... well very few times... last year!"
"Stop it Lex! You are so vulgar!"
"I can speak however I want!!" This is my house!"
Lois took a deep breath and then continued, "I want a divorce Lex... and I'm pregnant."
"You are pregnant?" he simply asked "Really?"
"And I want a divorce!"
Lex changed the way he looked at her.
"You are pregnant... You are pregnant with my baby... with our baby..."
Tears started to roll on Lois cheek. How much did it hurt?
"Our baby... It's wonderful..." Lex seemed not have heard the other half of Lois's statement."
"Lex... I want... I want a divorce..." Her voice trembled.
"You should sit down... right? You shouldn't tire yourself... " He slipped his arms around her and accompany Lois to the couch.
"I'm so sorry for the way I spoke to you... but I was so stressed... it wasn't a good day... and I wanted to fight with someone... Sorry"
"Lex... you are not listening to me...!" she cried out in a mix of anger, pain... and fear... fear for what was happening to her life. "I want a divorce..."
"Please Lois... don't do this to me... I was a child when I lost my parents... And you were a little girl when your parents divorced... We both know what not having parents with us means... Please! We have to try... for us... for the baby... Please...Lois..." Lois burst into sobs. She cried for herself. She covered her face with her hand, missing, in this way, the satisfied grin on Lex's face.
He knew it... she was going to do just what HE wanted! He wasn't going to lose his little prize...
"Please Lois... I'll try to change... But I love you so much... You are my wife... this is our child... please don't leave me... not without trying again! Please... I think we deserve it... and our baby deserves to have two parents... not two people that barely speak each other... " Lois was sobbing so much. For a normal person it would hurt to watch her in so much pain... but not for Lex Luthor... He just was trying to save his propriety.
He took her into his arms. Even sobbing desperately, Lois couldn't avoid associating his embrace with the way that Clark held her. Clark's embrace was so warm, kind and protective. He took care of her. His hugs could really wipe her pain away. Lex's tight hold on her was so cold...frightening...but he had the right to hold her. A baby needed parents. And not divorced parents...like she
had had.
But Clark...
Please give me the strength to tell him I love someone else. Please. Let me tell my baby's father that I love someone else. That I love someone who will really take care of me...who will really love me...please don't make me do this to Clark...please...
The phone rang and Lex answered. After a short conversation he hung up and apologized to Lois. "Sorry, darling, I have to go. But please..." he didn't finish.
Lois missed the relived gaze he had in the same moment he turned toward the door.
Lois was going to stay with him. He had won again. As usual.
She was going to lose everything again. She knew it. Clark, she realized, was her world. But Lex was her baby's father. And she knew what it meant to grow up without a father. Clark would be the best parent for her baby...but Lex was the father...she loved Clark, she knew that, but...
Why was it all so difficult? She just wanted to wake up, to discover that this was all just a nightmare, the worst nightmare she had had in her life. To discover that Clark was her baby's father. That it was Clark who was holding her tightly and who would never let her go...
Later she was crouched in her bed still crying. The phone rang.
"Hi... I was a little worried for you... I have this strange, stupid feeling..."
"Clark..." she whispered.
"Do you feel better? How's your flu?"
"Better... yes," she smiled sadly.
"When are you leaving? I want to come pick you up at the airport. I'm in Smallville now, so just say when and I'll be there." He sounded so happy, how could she...
"Clark..." she paused for a long moment. "What we shared was simply wonderful... but... I..." She didn't have the strength to finish.
"Lois, you are worrying me..."
"I... I have to stay with my husband... He's the one I married... I... maybe I made a mistake... but he, now he's the one..."
(Please forgive me...)
"NO! Lois! What are you talking about! You don't love him! And he doesn't love you! You love me! I love you..."
"He's the one I married..." (I'm sorry)
"It was a mistake and you know it! Why? Why? Is he forcing you? Are you in trouble? I can help you..." She smiled through the tears. Why was he always so sweet?! How could she do it, how could she do this to the man she loved.
( I love you, Clark ) "He isn't forcing me to do anything. I have to be with him, that's all. I'm sorry, Clark. I didn't mean to hurt you like this... but..."
She realized she was speaking to a dead line.
She had broken Clark's heart. She couldn't tell him that while they made love she was already pregnant with the devil's child. It was too painful. And Clark...
Oh God! This time she had lost him forever.
She wept. For hours, day, months...years. For years after she had thought she had cried herself out and there were no more tears left. It wasn't what Lois Lane was used to doing, but never in all of her life had she hurt so badly.