Emmeline sat by the fire, reviewing the project plan for tomorrow. To say that she was nervous would be an utter understatement. They were going straight into Rodolphus Lestrange's manor to steal back the elixir, and if they got through this without being killed, it would be a miracle. All she could say was that she was glad she had Gideon on her side. At first things had been immensely awkward between them, but soon they were laughing and helping out each other just as if they were friends and teammates on a quidditch team again. He had devised most of the plan, and she didn't know how she could have thought of any of this without his help.
Emmeline yawned, staring at the maneuver, she and Gideon had configured. She was alone. Remus had taken Sirius out drinking. The day before he and James had witnessed a family with three young kids being murdered by Bellatrix Black, and he wanted to blot out that memory. James and Lily were off looking for a house of their own, and Peter was at the Order Headquarters.
Suddenly the door burst open, and Sirius was trying to get in the apartment, being held back by some unseen force.
"Sirius?" asked Emmeline worriedly.
He had a maniacal look in his eyes, and he shouted unknown words when he caught sight of her.
"Sirius-" grunted Remus, who was what was holding him back, "Come-on! Stop!"
"LET GO OF ME!" roared Sirius, wrenching himself free of Remus's grasp. He hurtled like a slingshot into the living room until he was two feet away from Emmeline.
"Sirius what's wrong with you?!" cried Emmeline.
He laughed crazily, "What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you, my love?" he spat. His speech was slurred. He was completely sloshed.
She sighed, "Sirius, please just sit down and let me give you a sobriety potion."
"No!" he screamed, bits of spit hitting her in the face, "I'm not doing anything you say, you...you...two-timing...two-timing...slut!"
She stared, shocked, as if she had been slapped in the face, "Si-Sirius!"
He growled, "What, you're surprised?! After the way you've been hanging on to Prewett, going with him everywhere, talking and laughing with him right in front of me?!"
"Sirius, he's my partner! We have to go together everywhere! And he's also my friend! James is my friend, Remus is my friend!" she said, gesturing at him, as he was trying to fade into the background, "I talk and laugh with them in front of you! Are you going to get mad at me for that now, too?!"
"Well, that's-that's-completely besides the point!" he spluttered.
"No!" she yelled, not caring that he was drunk, "You don't own me! I can talk and laugh with whomever I want! So-so just go if you don't think I'm good enough for you or something! Just leave if you're blind enough to think that it could be about anybody but you!"
He gaped, "It's my apartment!"
"Fine then!" she gasped, "I'll leave!"
she gathered her coat and bag and ran out of the door, pushing Remus aside, leaving Sirius standing there, as if a club had just hit him over the head, wondering what he had just done.
--
Emmeline wandered the streets, tears glittering on her face. Her life had come to an end. The man she loved didn't want her, and now she had nowhere to go. The streets seemed so much scarier when she didn't know what to do. Everyone around her was heading one way or the other with direction, with a purpose, not noticing a young woman, stranded, with not a thought on what to do.
She sank onto a bench outside Flourish and Blotts, resolving to sleep there until she could figure out what to do. Of course, she could always go to Order Headquarters, but she did not want all the order members to know what had happened between her and Sirius. She lay on her side, trying not to notice the furtive glances passersby were giving her. So she was basically homeless and a hobo. She still had her pride. She would not care what people thought of her.
"Em?"
She sat up abruptly, to see James and Lily standing arm and arm over her.
Lily looked worried, "Em, what are you doing out here?"
Emmeline burst into tears, "Sirius...drunk...came home...yelled...thought I was with Gideon...banished me...nowhere to go!"
James gasped, "What? Sirius told you to leave?"
She nodded, sniffing deeply.
Lily shook her head, "Come, sweet, we bought a house out in Godric's Hollow, you can come stay with us there."
Emmeline sniffed once more, "Y-you mean it, Lils?"
Lily laughed, "Of course, Em. You're my best friend, I would never just leave you here. Sirius may be stupid enough to not want you, but we do. Now come."
She stood up, and James turned to Lily, "I'm...going to go see Sirius. Knock some sense into him." with that he disapparated, leaving Lily hoping that he did not mean knock in the literal sense.
--
"Leave me alone." said Sirius like a moody little boy, turning away from James, his arms crossed over his chest.
"No." said James resolutely, his eyes blazing, "You broke her heart, you know that, Padfoot?"
He turned back to face him, tears glistening on his face, "You don't think I know that?! You don't think I'm kicking myself for hurting her like that, for being so stupid as to lose her?!"
James clenched his jaw, "You have to go back and make things right."
"She won't take me back."
James sighed frustratedly, "Yes, she will! She loves you, Padfoot!"
"Not after what I said to her."
Remus spoke up from the corner, "Regardless, Sirius, you have to apologise. She might not take you back, but you have to at least try."
Sirius rounded on him in anger, "I would if I had any hope! It's a miracle that she ever took me in the first place, back in school! What with Gideon, and the fact that I'm rude, and inconsiderate...I come from a family of pureblood maniacs...and it was so hard to get her in the first place, and now that I've lost her, I've lost my one chance! I don't get another chance."
James let out a gust of exasperated breath, "Stop feeling so sorry for yourself! If you think she didn't love you so much that it hurt you're kidding yourself! Who cares about Gideon? She loves you! Yes, you blew it, but you could still have her again if you even tried!"
Sirius let out a strangled yell, clutching handfuls of his own hair, "You don't understand! It was so difficult, and now I've finally freed her, and she won't ever want me again! And stop acting like you know all about her, as if you do! Or are you getting some action on her as well as Gideon?!"
Completely unheralded, James's fist came down and smacked Sirius in the face, making him fall to the floor, "How dare you. How dare you ever suggest that I would take advantage of Emmeline, that I would betray my best friend, and the woman I love. Just...just listen to yourself. Remus and I are going to leave you to contemplate all of this, because, frankly, right now, Padfoot, you disgust me."
James turned on his heel, and Remus followed him out the door, leaving Sirius sprawled out on the floor, frankly, disgusted with himself as well.
--
a/n: more coming soon, I promise! please please please R&R!
Overbold
A gray, dank room
only a single light
in the corner a dusty broom
desolate and dark as night
rats are the only company here
not one person crosses my gaze
I huddle up in fear
and squint through the foggy haze
Then he walks in
the gray walls turn to blue
a ray of sun pierces the din
the rusted metal turns to new
I no longer feel cold despair
the sun shines through in gold
the universe seems more than fair
I suddenly feel overbold
Because I love him more than I am told
Two Sided
the romantic
wishes
closes her eys and wishes
for a man
to hold her
to complete her
closes her eyes tight
crosses her fingers
and breathlessly
wishes dearly
for companionship
for fulfillment
for closeness
the romantic
begs for love
the feminist
abhors
closes her eyes and abhors
men
that elevate themselves
that feed off
a woman's love
she absolutely abhors
a man who will
take her for granted
think himself
better
than her
a man like this
she abhors
the feminist
sneers at love
at companionship
at commitment
the romantic
shakes her head
at independance
at strength
at conspiricating theories
but is this so
just because
the romantic
and
the feminist
are afraid of each other
and each other's
beliefs?
because they have not
seen the merit
and the downfalls
of each other's
personalities?
So I urge you
to look at yourself
in the mirror
and hope
that you are two sided
so that you have
the values
of both the willful
romantic
and
the pessimistic
feminist...
a/n: I have a thousand more, because I found them on the back of all of my texas history and math notes! But I'll save those for later chapters...please R&R the poems too!