a/n: here's a happy poem for the road...it has no name...

come sit near me
because, you see
when you're away
the sun doesn't shine for days
because you are my glowing sun
I know you won't shun
me or anything I do
that's why I love to be with you
it's all the simple things
like the way I can tell you anything
how you are my other half
how you can always make me laugh
like when I'm close to you
I soar through the sky of blue

--

Emmeline sat nervously in between Gideon and Fabian, anxiously wringing her hands. This Order meeting would be the first time she would see Sirius since their big fight. She didn't know what would happen when he learned that she was with Gideon now. The very thing he had broken up with her over. It was not true then but it was true now, and Sirius would hold it to have been true then even more. Just as he had broken her heart, she was set out to break his.

--

Sirius took in deep breaths, Remus patting him on the back.

"Just go for it, mate." said Remus encouragingly, "What could go wrong? If you're sincere, she'll take you back. She still loves you, I know it."

Sirius bit his lip, straightened his back, and marched through the door. The sight that met his eyes was not the one he had bargained for. Emmeline, with her arms around Gideon, his mouth glued to hers.

Hate surged through Sirius's belly at the sight, and quickly turning on his heel, he dashed out of the Headquarters and sat on a stone bench outside, wiping away the hot tears that were coarsing down his cheeks. So she really had been with Gideon this whole time. Well let her go be happy with him. Sirius didn't need her. Except...except when he pictured her soft, short black hair blowing in the wind, when he pictured the dimples in her cheeks folding up in a smile, when he pictured her enveloped in his kiss, he felt weak in the knees. Sirius had been with alot of girls, and not a single one of them made him feel the way Emmeline did. She was real, and what they had was real. And now it was all gone. He had lost his chance. He was alone, and she was with someone else.

"Padfoot?"

Sirius turned to see James and Lily, hand in hand, staring concernedly at him.

"What's wrong?" asked James, sitting down beside him.

Sirius swallowed, "I saw...Emmeline...with...with..." he stopped, and buried his face in his hands. It hurt too much.

James sighed, "Gideon?"

Sirius's head snapped up, "You knew?" he asked sharply.

Lily sighed and sat down on the other side of Sirius, "How could we not? Em's been living with us, remember?"

Sirius stared at his feet, "So...was she..."

"With him while you two were together?" James shook his head, "Never. She was completely yours, mate, but you couldn't trust her, and you let yourself get loose in front of her. Now she's...with Gideon, and he makes her happy. Not nearly as happy as she was with you, mind, but happy enough for the time being."

Sirius closed his eyes in agony, "It's just...I thought...I thought this was it, you know. I-I was going to...propose..."

"Oh, Sirius." Lily enveloped him in her arms, and he felt her sympathy, and it felt as if he was being hugged by a caring mother, something he had never experienced.

They sat in silence for a while, not voicing their thoughts until James spoke.

"I know it's a bad time to ask, but will you be my best man?"

--

Emmeline and Dorcas dashed around Lily's house, gathering up the plans, while an exasperated Lily sat irritated at the kitchen table.

"Girls! I know Dumbledore gave us the months off of Order stuff so we could plan the wedding, but don't you think three hundred guests is a bit much? I don't even know that many people!" called Lily to Dorcas and Emmeline who were bolting around upstairs.

Emmeline ran back into the room with a leather binder in her hands and sat down next to Lily with a sigh, "Fine. How many people do you want to invite?"

Lily shrugged, "I don't know. Just, my parents, all of you, all of the Order members...who else would I invite?"

Dorcas came skipping into the room, in her hands a tan dress bag, "Okay, okay, Lily. That makes...about thirty. Are you sure that's all you want?"

Lily nodded, "Of course I'm sure."

Emmeline sighed, "Well, what do you think of these?" she began flipping through the binder, which had numerous pictures of centerpieces.

Dorcas rolled her eyes, "Never mind about the silly flowers! What do you think of your dress?" she unzipped the bag with a flourish, and dangled a pure white, plain, spaghetti strap dress with a heartshaped neckline in front of Lily.

She gasped, "It's...it's beautiful!"

Emmeline grinned, "Put it on!"

Lily sighed, "Fine." she went into the bathroom, and after a little shuffling, slipped the gown over her head and walked out to model it in front of Emmeline and Dorcas. This dress. It made her feel...gorgeous. These dark times were hardly the right time to be worrying about how you looked, but there was something about a perfect new dress that made you forget to be modest. Something about it that made you suddenly vain, but in a good way. Lily loved this dress.

Emmeline gasped, "You look wonderful, Lils."

Lily grinned, "You really think so?"

Dorcas laughed out loud, coming closer to examine the simple folds of white fabric, "Most definitely."

Lily smiled, smoothing her hands over her dress. It was wonderful. She was getting married in this dress! It would be historical. She could pass it down her daughter, who could pass it down to her daughter.

Dorcas grinned, "I'll get Remus. We need a male opinion."

She went out, and came back with Remus in tow. He stopped short when he saw her and gaped.

Lily chuckled, "That bad, eh?"

"Bad?" Remus shook his head vehemently, "Lily...you look...Prongs is going to be...just...wow."

Lily giggled, "Speechlesness is a reaction I would most definitely opt for!"

Lily went to change out of it again, and came back into the room feeling satisfied. Her wedding, despite the harsh world and climate they were in, would be beautiful. Nothing could ruin this day.

--

a/n: I'll be updating soon...I know it was a short chapter, but there wasn't really much I wanted to say...please R&R! and also, I need some help: I'm a fairly new member on , so, when I was reading the captions of other stories I didn't really get it...so I need some help with the lingo...like what's OC, and what's AU? I would be grateful if readers would enlighten me with this information.

Emmeline to Sirius:

Whimless

these memories
they're ones I can't erase
I see flashes
of your face
and it hurts so much
I yearn for your touch
I think slowly
how you caused me pain
how I tried to chase you
in the pouring rain
I thought I could do it
live without you
but it was so untrue
I need you here like I need to breathe
even though I begged for you to leave
It's too hard to say
should I keep you
or chase you away
either way I know
I'll be broken
because you were outspoken
you hurt me with your words
you made me cry
but when you're not here
i can no longer fly
I clutch my hair in handfulls
what do I do
because I don't need you
but strangely I want you too
It's hard to find the truth
in this tangled web of lies
with you and your disguise
I wouldn't call it true love
but somehow it was enough
though also I wanted more
because you allowed me to soar
I was grounded with your hate
It was a feeling I couldn't shake
you thought I would act on a whim
you thought I would love him
so while these heaving sobs
shake my chest
I beg of you
to give it a rest
I feel deranged and insane
because you caused me
so much pain
i tear the curtains you gave me
from the shodden wall
and with a shuddering gasp
I fall
I lie there on the ground
hoping desperately to be found