In honor of Remus because he doesn't get much attention
Moonlight
moonlight is
softly shimmering
bask in its glow
in its glory
fill yourself
with serenity
let it wash away
all that haunts
and all that hates
all your misery
watch its beautiful
but faintly frightening
shadow
it glorifies but also
terrifies
fill yourself
with that ellusive
and that perpetual
dream of day
that will keep
you standing tall
though despair
beats you down
with its silvery sheen
okay, I know I've been doing a lot of poems lately, but I've dispensed them all, so I promise, more stories from now on, though there may be a poem here and there every other chapter or so
--
Remus sat crosslegged on the veranda staring at the moon again. It was so beautiful. But so destructive. It was a curse and a blessing.
"Hullo, Remus." Dorcas walked through the double doors to sit down next to him.
He smiled, "Hey, Dorcas."
She smiled back. He was so cute! She sighed, "What are you doing out here?"
He shrugged, "Staring at the moon."
She bit her lip, and could almost kick herself, "Oh."
He laughed, "It's all right. I'm fine."
"You sure?"
"Definitely."
"Okay." she sounded relieved.
They sat in a contented silence for a few seconds until Dorca spoke up, "Isn't it crazy, Lily and James getting married?"
Remus laughed, "Yes. I remember a day back when Prongs was just a popular, bigheaded, mischief-causing prat, and Lily was a top student who despised him to her very core. I never thought they would ever end up together, Lily hated him so much. Even more so, I never thought Prongs would ever settle down."
Dorcas nodded, "Yes, he's very go with the flow, but I guess...he's very oldfashioned. Did you know he was the one who convinced her to get married?"
Remus's eyes widened, "No! I thought for sure she was the one who initiated it."
Dorcas shook her head, "Nope. He wanted to get married when we were in seventh year...well not then but eventually, but she wanted to just be an independant woman. But he won her over in the end and now she's so happy about it that it seems like she wanted this from the very start."
Remus sighed, "Everything seems to be changing so fast, doesn't it? Peter with his new job, all the work with the Order, James and Lily getting married, Emmeline with her new boyfriend, you getting signed for a second string reserve team. Sirius and I seem to be the only ones staying the same. We're too busy with Order work that James and Sirius can't go to Auror training."
Dorcas agreed, "Yeah, I feel bad about that, but they don't seem to be complaining. Order work is plenty dangerous and thrilling."
Remus grimaced, "I don't know if thrilling is what you'd call it. Horrifying, maybe."
Dorcas leaned back to rest her head on her hands so she lay facing the stars, "You know, Remus, you don't have to be entirely successful to be a perfect person."
Remus leaned back as well, "So you don't think I'm successful?"
"No!" exclaimed Dorcas, desperately backtracking, "I just meant that...I know things are changing, and I know you feel left behind, but that doesn't make you less of a person. You're brave, and smart, and you do wonders for the Order. It's just..."
"Being a werewolf that's the problem." he finished for her, "I hate it. If I was just...just...normal I could have a life! But no, people shun me just because of something that I can't even control, that's not my fault."
Dorcas felt a cut of sympathy in her side, "Oh, Remus. You are normal...you've just got a problem."
Remus laughed, "You sound like James. He calls it my furry little problem in company. Many people are under the impression that I own a badly behaved rabbit!"
Dorcas smiled, "I remember that. Before I knew of your...condition, I used to think so too."
Remus sighed, "If only things could be so simple again."
Dorcas held his hand, her heart beating, "Things aren't complicated, Remus. Yes, they're hard. You can't get a job, and people hold a prejudice against you, and you're part of a rebel organization and every day you're in the danger of getting killed. But you have to remember the things that are important."
Remus gave a disbelieving laugh, "Really? Like what? I have no money to speak of, my family is all dead, I have no girlfriend."
It pained her heart. She could be his girlfriend, "You're friends. Remus we all love you, and I know things are changing, but we will stay with you always and never leave you behind. I promise."
Remus turned to face her, "You're such a good friend."
She smiled sadly, feeling tears start to leak out of her eyes, "That's all I wish. To be a good friend."
"Really?"
"No." and without further prompt, she rolled over and her lips met his, and before either of them knew what was happening Remus had his arms around her and they were locked in a passionate kiss.
Remus broke away suddenly with a gasp, "Dorcas!"
A red blush creeped onto her face, "Oh, no. Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no! Ohmigosh, I'm so sorry! I don't know what came over me."
Remus stared at her, "Well...I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have kissed you back."
Dorcas stared down at her hands, quailing under his gaze, "That bad, huh?"
"no!" Remus stopped and took a deep breath, "What I meant was just that...the kiss wasn't bad, just...you and me?"
She frowned, "What's wrong with that?"
"Nothing!" his voice squeaked, and his speech slowed, "I just, I didn't know you liked me like that."
"Remus...I've liked you like that for a while now."
"Then why didn't you say anything?!" he burst out, "I would have said yes!"
Her eyes widened, "Really?"
He smiled at her, "Yes. I've liked you like that for a while as well."
She laughed out loud, "No way! Because I was so going to go for it, then Lily told me you liked that second year girl, Nymphadora."
His face hardened at the mention of her name, but Dorcas didn't notice, "No. We're just friends. And...I was going to approach you as well...but...I didn't know if you would want someone like...well, someone like me."
He looked down, his eyebrows furrowed, casting the rest of his face besides his forehead into a dark, brooding shadow.
She pressed her hand against his cheek. It was cold.
"Oh, Remus. Nobody cares about that, especially not me. It just makes you all the more interesting and wonderful. I would never wish you different."
"Truly?" he asked, looking up, clutching her hand.
"Of course." and they embraced once more, Dorcas overcome with intense love. She buried her face into his robes, loving the warmth radiating from his body, the strength of the arms that held her. She felt like she had never felt before.
--
a/n: part of this scene I got from Friends, the TV show...and if you've never watched that show, you totally should...not as good as That 70's show, but still awesome!
"okay, girls. Now comes decision time." started Lily, staring her two closest friends in the face.
Emmeline frowned, "For what?"
Lily grimaced, "I have to pick between you two to be my maid of honor."
Emmeline and Dorcas exchanged glances.
Lily smiled, "Okay, well I thought we should do a sort of...trade off. Like, hypothetically if...Emmeline was my maid of honor, than I would be Dorcas's, and Dorcas would be Emmeline's."
Dorcas frowned, "Why does Em get to be your maid of honor?"
Lily slapped her forehead, "Meadowes! I don't want to pick, you guys. But it was a hypothetical situation! I just meant that we could each do each other's weddings, and it would be sort of like...a triangle!"
Dorcas nodded, "Okay, I get it. But how do we decide who gets to be your maid of honor?"
Lily smiled evilly, "That's the fun part. You two get to decide."
--
Dear Lily,
I deeply regret ever estranging you. I deeply hope we can put the past behind us and move on as two sisters should. If you would just drop your wizard friends, and come back to your family, your flesh and blood, I would welcome you with open arms. Come live with me, have a new, normal life. I promise you can be happy if you sever your ties with your wizard friends and come back to live with me again.
Your Dearest Sister,
Petunia
Lily stared at the letter. It dropped out of her hands and fluttered to the ground. How...how dare she!
James walked into the room, and seeing her tortured expression, came to sit next to her, "What's wrong?"
Lily tore it up before James saw, "It's nothing, darling."
James frowned, "You sure?"
Lily forced a smile, "Yes, sweet. I'm fine."
James nodded, not completely satisfied, but guessing that he wasn't going to get an answer out of her.
Suddenly Sirius ran through the door, Emmeline and Peter at his heels.
Lily stood up and helped Sirius to a chair, "What's wrong, padfoot?"
Sirius gasped, "Dorcas! Dorcas...she was...was fighting with Fabian against Bellatrix Black and Rodolphus Lestrange in Diagon Alley, in the square just outside here, and Voldemort showed up!"
Lily screamed, "No!"
Sirius's eyes were horrified, "Yes. He wants an unborn boy. And he thought Dorcas would have information about that boy, so...he tortured her...until he killed her."
Lily's eyes watered and she broke down, "No! No! No, no no! Not Dorcas!"
Emmeline came over and hugged her and then James and Sirius came and then Peter until all of them were in a huddled mass, sobbing with grief.
--
Lily sat with Remus in a nondescript room in Order Headquarters. He had his head in his hands and hadn't spoken for over twenty minutes.
"Remus..." Lily put a hand on his shoulder.
"What?!" his head jerked up in a twitchy motion, "I'm fine. Who cares if my parents died, the world hates me and now the one thing left in the world that seemed worthwhile is gone? No matter. I was already depressed, who cares if happiness never enters my life again? Who cares if I'll never find love again?!" his voice had reached a hysterical level, and Lily, alarmed, pulled Remus into an embrace.
Lily patted his back awkwardly, "I know it's hard, Remus."
Remus frowned, "No you don't. You have no idea, Lily. I appreciate your empathy, but you can never have sympathy for me."
Lily sighed, and pulled away, "I know, Remus. I'm sorry."
He shook his head, waving off her apology. They were silent for a while, then Remus spoke, "He wants an unborn boy?"
Lily's hand jumped unheralded down to her stomach, "Um, yes, so it would seem. He was searching for the mother."
He frowned at her hand, then at her stomach, "Lily..." he said slowly.
Lily combed her finger through her hair anxiously, tucking it behind her ear, her eyes jumping around the room, "Yes?"
He narrowed his eyes at her, "You're not...pregnant, are you?"
Suddenly her eyes stopped skittering and fixed wildly on his, her gaze terrified, "What would make you think that?"
He looked sideways at her, "You have been gaining weight lately..."
She froze, her eyes suddenly malicious, "What, so a girl isn't allowed to put on a few pounds? I have to maintain a perfect figure now?"
He sighed, "That's not what I said, Lily. Just tell me. Are you pregnant or not?"
She let out a wail and collapsed into Remus's arms, "Oh, Remus! I am, and I'm so scared!"
He stroked her hair, calming her, "How far along?"
"A few weeks, give or take a few..." she said, gulping.
He frowned, "How long?"
She sighed, "A month. Remus, I'm terrified!"
"Shh." he said, "It'll be alright, Lily. Does James know?"
Lily's lip trembled, "n-no! I'm scared he'll get mad at me or something! He'll say things like, we're too young, how could you have been so stupid as to bring a baby into the world now, with death eaters and voldemort on the loose, hunting us down! He'll ask how I supposed we could care for him, how we can make a life or protect him now."
Remus shook his head, "How could you think that, Lily? This isn't your fault. James loves you and would never say anything like that. He'll be overjoyed."
Lily's watery eyes shone with happiness, "Really? Do you really think so?"
Remus chuckled, "I know so."
Lily frowned, "Still...don't tell James until after the wedding. Please?"
he sighed, "Ok, Lily. Fine."
She smiled, "You're a wonderful friend, Remus."
"I have to look out for you, Lily. You're carrying the one glowing spot of light in these dark times."
--
a/n: oh yes!! look out cuz I'm back in black!! i was grounded from the computer for a while but now im back and better than ever! i apologize for the absence of writing but i hope that my faithful readers will keep watching for updates!