Good new, everyone! Chapter 9 is here already! Whoo! Chapter 10 might not come so fast, because, while I have nothing to do, it seems that my laptop died on me... again... so I can't write like I would want to. Anyway, here comes the review response section.

Foxyjosh: Yeah... life is strange sometime. I'm sure you wouldn't sleeping with Sunny. I wouldn't mind sleeping with my favorites electric rodents (look at my plushes) Oh... I already do. Oh well... I would say more, but I'm tired, so...

Kirby: We are working on grammar stuff right now. Tyler is sorry for not looking at it more thoughtfully. And Magic is happy now. Yeah. Oh, and Psywave is not a manipulative son of a mitch, he's just a weirdo. (throw Psywave a rock)

StormFang: Oh... I thought I said that those zero word reviews were not funny anymore. I'm sure I did. Yeah... really, I'm not happy about that, but since I'm nice, I won't make a fuss about it. I guess I should be happy about you still reading this story. Yeah... that's what I will do. So, yeah, have a nice day... or something.

Ok... those responses were bad, but I blame my 21th birthday party and a bad cough. Sue me. Anyway... enjoy this chapter! (fall asleep)

Chapter 9: Morning Talk

The sun rose over the Kantoan Mountains, its early rays finding their way between leaves and branches, faintly illuminating the forest floor. This time of day was the one chosen, by many pokemon, to awake and begin their daily duties. Many species of pokemon held to this rule and, unfortunately for our particularly grumpy pikachu friend, fire breathing foxes were a part of that group. Even more unfortunate for him, was that among all the foxes in the forest, one that was particularly annoying happened to be sleeping inside the same tent as him, cuddled up against his pikachu body.

As as soon the ball of light had appeared in the sky, the immobile body of the young fire creature took in every ray of light the sun could provide, processing it into pure energy to fuel her fire producing organs. Acting as a biological alarm clock, this surge of energy instantly made the vulpix jump out of her sleep, her brain instinctively choosing the actions she would execute. Being young and unconcerned about matters like the immediate well being of those around her, none of those actions took into account the fact that Rick was still sleeping nearby. Of course, this meant that the pikachu was the one to pay for her lack of thought. After examining her surroundings to make sure it was still safe around her, Sunny stood up on four paws, ready to begin a day she knew would be good. Being the happy-go-lucky vulpix she was, she just had to talk about it in a way that showed that the word "discretion" was not in her vocabulary. "Oh! The ball of light is here! It's here! Today, I will battle Leafty! It will be so much fun! I will make fire and win!"

To make it worse, she noisily ran around Rick while talking ecstatically, doing nothing to help the electric mouse's sleep. Obviously annoyed by the vulpix's voice, Rick thrashed in his sleep, pawing at an invisible enemy, enough so that it got Sunny's attention. Her ears perking up in surprise, she curiously glanced at Rick, giggling as he seemingly fought the tent's wall. "Sparktail, the nest is not a pokemon. You don't have to fight it. You are a very strange mouse." Amused by his behavior, Sunny stopped running and stared at the sleeping pikachu for some time.

Her patience had its limits, though. As enjoyable as it was to look at him, she eventually wanted to play; and Sparktail was playing with the wall, not her. Feeling rejected, she approached him, intent on nuzzling him so he'd notice her. However, inside the imaginary dream world of Rick's mind, that action wasn't exactly perceived as being the same. In his dream, he was fighting against Leafty and losing badly. The meganium had him pinned against a tree with her vines and was staring at him with a mix of hatred and lust to kill. It looked like she was going to kill him, until he heard a loud rumbling to his left. Turning his head swiftly, he saw Sunny walking toward him, claws extended, grinning widely. Her eyes, lit by the faint light of a red sunset, flashed with hunger. He could see that she was sizing him up, choosing which part of him she would eat first. He was going to be fox food and there was no way to escape it! "No! Sunny! It's me! Sparktail! Your friend! Please, don't eat me! Please!"

His panicked voice startled the real Sunny, who stepped away from his sleeping body. Her instincts told her that something was wrong with him, but not what was wrong with him. She had never tried to eat him, or even hurt him, so his accusations didn't make any sense. All she wanted to do was to play with him! Confused and worried. Sunny lowered her head, her body shaking. Sparktail had complained before, but now, it didn't feel right. "Sparktail? Are you ok? It's not funny… you are scaring me. I… I just want to play! I won't eat you, I promise! I'm ni--"

She didn't have time to finish. Sparks coming from Rick forced the young vixen to stop and back away some more. "S-Sparktail?" she stuttered shakily, looking down. If Sparktail decided to attack her, she would have no way to avoid it, since she had already reached the wall of the human portable nest. Not that she was scared of being hurt by the small mouse, but she didn't want to lose a friend because of a battle that humans didn't ask them to do. Battles asked by humans were fun, because they knew when they should stop, but a real battle could get bad quickly, since one of the fighters could get angry or hurt and friendships could be instantly destroyed. Her fear of losing a friend was burning her from inside. She could already feel her fur warming up because of it, the wall becoming warmer. This was not good either. One thing she had learned from past experiences was that human things burned easily. If she made heat here, the human nest would burn and her trainer would not be happy. Trapped between her fear to lose a friend in Sparktail and her fear to lose the trust of her trainer, Sunny made the most logical decision. She sat down and kept her body heat at a minimum while heating her mouth. She had many friends, but only one trainer. If she had to lose one of them, it would be Sparktail.

Luckily for both of them, no regretful decision had to be taken, because Rick's dream suddenly took a happy turn. His threat of shocking Sunny and Leafty seemed to have worked, and both pokemon were retreating, scared by the sound his cheeks made. Relieved, he rested his head back on the blanket, about to get into a more peaceful dream, but the strengthening rays of the sun were piercing his defences. He rolled on his side, trying to get away from the sun, but its powerful rays entered the tent, awakening him. "Grr… five more minutes, mom, I'm having a great dream." he whispered softly, covering his eyes with his paws. He wasn't about to let the morning's light ruin his last moment of peace. Not that his choice mattered much. Sunny had other plans for him.

Since Sparktail stopped being threatening and was acting normally again, the vixen approached him, a bit more slowly this time, still intent on nuzzling him. It was the best way to make up after a fight. Stopping a few inches away from him, she poked him with her paw, testing his reaction. None came, other than another soft moan, so Sunny took the liberty to rub against the small mouse, licking him. "Sparktail, it's time to play. Get up! The ball of light is here!"

That shouting decimated his last line of defense. Groaning loudly, he rubbed his eyes with his paws, cursing under his breath. He now knew where he was and what was going on. That vixen sure knew how to wake him up. It was the second morning she did so, though he reacted a bit better this time. The previous morning, he had tried to bite Sunny under similar circumstances. Considering that he did bite her, though he didn't bite hard, it was easy to conclude that he wasn't someone who was easy to wake up on morning. Looking around groggily, he smiled at his surrounding, not yet fully aware of everything that was going on around him.

All he could say was that the atmosphere inside the human portable nest was weird at this early hour. He was alone, sitting there tiredly, with that pokemon much bigger than him. A pokemon, to whom he was supposed to be prey, who was staring at him with a smile and licking him with her tongue. Had he been more alert, he would have asked Sunny to stop, but his mind was busy with the fact that he was trapped in here. Yes, trapped, since there was no exit out of the nest and there would be none until Jen came to remove the door. Knowing that and how instinctive he acted when he woke up, it was no wonder that he had tried to bite Sunny the previous morning. Trapping a mouse and a fox in a close space was as logical as forcing a sea pokemon to live in a desert, but Jen was one who apparently didn't think highly of the natural feuds that existed in the wild. A pokemon trainer promoting non-violence and peace… he had to see it to believe it. And he was the one who used to think that every trainer was a monster who only wanted pokemon to fight for their personal glory. Well… now he had proof that at least one of them wasn't like that and he had been lucky enough to fall under her care.

Speaking of Jen, he had yet to see her enter the nest to pet them and give them food. Not that he was getting hungry but… yeah… he was getting pretty hungry. Thinking about how his forced partner was supposed to think of him as food did nothing to make him feel sated. He would kill only to get one tasty, sweet and juicy apple. What would happen if he didn't get one this morning? Maybe he wasn't able to do complex calculus anymore, but he knew that Jen's bag could only hold so many apples. Unless there was a place close by where she could get more, she would run out of apple, and he wouldn't have food anymore. This was a good reason to be worried. "Err… Sunny? You think our human will have more apples for me? I would be kind of hungry and sad without one."

The tone of the voice he used to say that was similar to the one of a small children asking for protection, so Sunny reacted positively to it. Finally, it seemed like he had stopped being mean. Now, she was more than happy to help him. Though, at the current moment, that happiness took the form of a great sadness, as if Rick's emotions had rubbed off on her. Bringing her head down to his level, she licked him comfortingly in an effort to remove that feeling of sadness from both of them. "There will be lots of apples for you. And, if there is no apple, you can eat seeds instead. I never ate seeds, because they smell bad, but Steamer ate some before the ball of light vanished, and he said they taste good." She said softly, examining Sparktail for a few seconds. "You look like him, so maybe you will like them too!" she finally spurted out while smiling at him.

That sweet smile… Rick could lose himself in the disturbingly adorable happy expression on the pokemon's face. It was like a cute puppy looking at you during a sunny day. It swept all sour feelings away, leaving only a similar absent-minded smile on your own face. It was that smile that Rick was returning to Sunny, staring at her like he would stare at his mother, completely lost in the cuteness of that dumb, but reassuring creature. All worries were gone, as were any conscious thoughts from his mind. Absorbed by the flow of happy feelings emanating from that smile, his humanity melted away like an ice cube under the hot sun. There was no reason to be worried when you had someone bigger to protect you. Not when someone nice was keeping you away from danger, away from trouble, away from the nightmares. It was a moment that Rick wouldn't try to stop this time, as he instinctively licked Sunny back. "Yeah… seeds will fill my tummy…"

While humanity was playing hide and seek deep inside Rick, the girl outside the tent wasn't slacking off. Awakened by the first rays of the day like her pokemon, the young woman prepared herself for the following day. After doing her morning stretches, she took her bag and walked around the tent, collecting edible berries from bushes.

Like any experienced hiker, she traveled with the bare minimum of fresh food in her bag, though she had her reserve rations in case of an emergency. The only piece of food she kept on her was meat secured inside a sealing container. It was meat she bought before leaving Pallet and that she kept only for feeding Sunny. Anything else, she collected from the woods and ate it the same day. It was not the easiest way to get food, but it was by far the most cost efficient and the safest. Not only that, but it was also a good way to keep in shape. Since she often spent weeks in the woods, away from civilization, where dangerous pokemon could lurk in any corner, one unlucky encounter and being slow to run away could cost you your life.

Living away from people might not be the most glorious life, but it was the one that she had chosen and she wouldn't have traded it for anything else. Even if it prevented her from using her training abilities to their full potential and becoming a known trainer, here, in the wild, she was free to do whatever she wanted to do. Nobody would annoy her with rules. Nobody would try to influence her choices. Here, it was only her, her pokemon and nature in its purest state. This life did have it's downsides. Every time she went into a town, it wasn't easy for her. She wasn't an animal, but she was close to it when it came to social interaction. Every time she was required to do anything that wasn't buying, battling or helping pokemon, she felt totally lost. She acted rashly, often plainly saying what she thought and got into trouble because of it. Other people were simply not worth the time she spent to help them. While humans knew how to defend themselves, there was a lot of pokemon who needed her help more, facing problems, which, unfortunately, were sometime caused by human activities.

Paradoxically to her lack of interest for humanity, when she was traveling in the countryside, she explored every nook, looking for ruins of ancient civilizations. It felt like a holiday each time she found a new one. There were ruins about pokemon, ruins about humans and ruins about anything there could possibly be ruins about. While she told the location of some of them, most were personal treasures for her to keep secret. However, her curiosity about the past would never exceed her desire to know about pokemon. She chose carefully when it came to adding a new pokemon to her team. She considered each of her Pokemon as her equal. If she could have, she would have hundreds of pokemon following her. Alas, she had made a promise to never force a pokemon to do something it didn't want to do. Never would she break apart a family of pokemon just to have one more on her team. Logically, the good of the many came before the good of the few, and a family of pokemon was a cell of life that was not to be broken because of human selfishness. She would not be like those hundreds of trainers who only cared about glory and thought that the life their pokemon lived before it was captured was worth nothing. She did not think that they were only animals that lived to serve them, but rather that it was her duty to make sure they would be safe. It was why she only had two pokemon before Sparktail and Sunny joined her close circle of friends. One was her starter, which had already been separated from her family; and the other was a pokemon whose family had been killed by a pack of Mightyena and that had wanted to join her team. Of course, she had had other pokemon on her team at some points, but she released them all when the moment was right for each of them. Sunny was supposed to become the third member of her team, but what she had gotten with Sparktail was better than anything she had ever expected from that gift.

In a way, Sparktail was living proof that pokemon were not all dumb and stupid like people thought. It was her duty, as a trainer, to make sure that this pikachu would get the best of care that she was able to give. Professor Oak was right in a way: it was a unique opportunity for her, the unique possibility to have a pokemon friend that would truly be able to understand her. She wouldn't let that one slip away. The more she thought about him, though, the more confused she became. Sparktail was no ordinary pokemon, and it went beyond his apparent high intelligence. There was something about him that was fishy. She has seen all kind of pokemon, in various situations and emotional states, but none could compare to how Sparktail was acting. It might seem strange for someone to think like that, but she actually had doubts about Sparktail being a real pokemon.

Through her explorations, she had learned about legends of all kinds. The ones she had heard of often, excluding the traditional ones related to the pokemon of legends, spoke of humans changing into pokemon. Her motto being "every legend has a seed of truth", she was open to anything. Her pikachu's rejection of almost any activity a normal pokemon would be inclined to do was a good hint that maybe those legends weren't only fairy tales. While she would usually have associated this behavior with a fear of meeting new pokemon, there was that little something in the way Sparktail did it that was plainly weird. She just needed more proof. And hopefully, she would get it very soon.

After collecting enough berries for breakfast, Jen walked back to her tent, her hand filled with a good amount of those sweet little fruits. It was time to trade her suspicions for something much more enjoyable: feeding her little friends. Opening the door with her other hand, the girl peek her head inside and gasped at the sight of the two pokemon licking each other. Seeing Sunny and Sparktail fighting playfully the day before had been expected, but this was… disturbing. And cute. But mostly disturbing. Blinking a few times to make sure she wasn't dreaming, Jen smiled nervously as she entered and sat next to the pokemon. "Err… slept well, Sparktail?"

The former human, still lost in the petting that the vulpix was giving him, just blankly looked at Jen, that stupid smile still on his muzzle. Hey… his adopted mother was giving him some nice petting, and now that huge funny creature was looking at him. Maybe it would play… it would be nice. Yeah… real nice. That creature looked nice too. And it looked familiar too. Like some distant memories…like… his past? Looking at the creature more carefully, he saw more of those things in his head. Some were bigger and some smaller. One of the smaller ones reminded him of something. It was his childhood, when he was… human? Wait… human? Not pichu? Then, why was he being petted by something that was not a human and why was he… licking her? What was he doing? "What the…"

Shaking his head in frustration from having been tricked yet again, Rick narrowed his eyes at Sunny. "Hey… you are not my mother! You are not human! Stop licking me! Stop that! Stop! Argh!" Angry, he sprung back on his paws and growled at Sunny, his teeth bared. Looking away from the suddenly very mad rodent, Sunny closed her eyes, scared of having done something wrong. Jen, however, didn't look away. Instead, she glared at Sparktail, frowning. "Sparktail, are you alright? You look a bit upset this morning, and it worries me."

Rick sat on the floor, looking disgustingly at his paws. "Upset? Why would I be? I just freaking licked a pokemon! Maybe Psywave was right. I'm losing it! I'm just a dumb pokemon, unable to resist the simplest little comforting licking! Yeah… I'm not upset… I'm just mad, crazy in the head. I think that settle it! Everybody, come and pet the little pikachu here! Just ignore the fact that he was human! Just ignore it!" he screamed at Jen while moving nervously like a madman, his cheeks sparking in rage. Now definitely scared, Sunny retreated behind Jen, shaking a bit. The trainer petted her comfortingly, still trying to maintain her stare on the nervous ball of fur. This wasn't a normal behavior for a pikachu either, but it wasn't time yet to confront Sparktail about it. "Sparktail…" she said, putting a few berries in front of him. "…you aren't making it easy for me. Would you please calm down now? If you want to fight, you can do it later, during your training session. Now, it's time to eat."

This was a huge mistake. He wasn't in a state of mind to be talked to like a little baby. Ironically, he pushed the berries away like one would do, crossing his paws. "I'm not a pokemon, so you can put your petty comments and your tricks where I think they should be!" he harshly growled. Taking advantage of his position, he charged his cheeks, narrowing his eyes at Jen. Completely absorbed by his frustration, Rick didn't notice the bolt of electricity leaving his cheeks, targeting the young woman. Showing no fear, the trainer kept her stare on him and winced in pain when the weak bolt hit her. "Ow! Sparktail! Whatever is going through your head right now, it's no reason to shock me! You have a brain, use it! Getting angry at me won't make you feel any better." She screamed at the pikachu, her voice cold and angry. Irritated, she crossed her arms and stared defiantly at the mouse. "And if you really think it does, go ahead and shock me again. I'm ready to take it."

Weakened by a bolt he didn't quite control and that mostly went through him, Rick panted, pain eating away at his anger. Rick looked weakly at Jen, at her bruises and hair messed up by static electricity, his eyes filled with sorrow. It wasn't really her fault. She couldn't know that he wasn't a pokemon. Even if she wouldn't consider him as the human he had been, it was still his responsibility to be nice to her, as he would be with any other person. If only he had a way of showing her that he was different, things would be easier. Maybe if he got angry less often and focused on his plan, maybe he would succeed in making her see the truth. But, how could he keep his calm when he was acting like an animal without having anything to say about it? He didn't want those instincts, but they were overcoming his will anyway. There was seemingly nothing he was able to do to stop them. Nothing, unless, maybe…

He strengthened his stare on Jen, a smile appearing on his face. "Oh! There's her!" He should have noticed it before, but, in her presence, he was more confident and able to think freely. He only had to see her enter the tent and he had been taken out of that instinct-driven state. She was the key to keeping his mind! He had to stay close to her. More importantly, he had to keep her trust. Obviously, shocking her was the best way to lose it. He would have to get that trust back, even if it implied a bit of self-sacrifice. And maybe a bit of sly emotional trickery.

The last sparks on his cheeks vanishing, the Rick lowered his head and walked close to Jen. His ears were lowered, his tail was even more and that smile on his muzzle was gone. Every element was in place for him to look overly guilty, and the girl fell for it. She removed her arms from her chest, smiling. "It's alright, as long you don't do that anymore." Rick smiled, still walking toward her. He was getting her trust back, but he felt like doing more. In the similar way his pikachu side needed licking before to sooth his worries, his human side needed a way to express his distress. Once near her legs, he climbed on them and went near her torso. Opening his paws and closing his eyes, he threw his body on hers, laying his head against her chest and whimpering softly. Doing the closest he could to crying, he knew that he would look like a weakling, but he didn't care. He needed a moment to empty his emotion tank, a moment to feel like someone was listening to his plead.

Taken aback by the sudden hugging of her pikachu, Jen nervously looked at him, many ideas going through her head. She was trying to put together the pieces of the puzzle, but each time she did, she came to the same disturbing conclusion: that pikachu was not acting like a pokemon. There was no logic in the actions he was doing. He was angry, then smiling, then looking guilty then… hugging her and crying? Not only the sequence made no sense, but his last action was impossible. No pokemon would hug her like this. Pokemon were incapable of hugging. They licked, they nuzzled, they smelt, but they didn't hug. Hugging was an action only humans did. Furthermore, she hadn't failed to notice that his bolt was weak and unfocused, so much that Sparktail got hit by most of it. If that pikachu had grown up in the wild, he wouldn't have survived. She had seen injured pokemon with more survival potential than this pikachu. If he was as brilliant as Oak said he was, he would have known that mastering his electric attacks was the key to his survival. The more she thought about it, the more her farfetched hypothesis seemed to look possible, from a logical point of view. It would explain most of those points. Curiosity burning her inside, she forced Sparktail away from her, receiving a confused look from the pikachu. Breathing slowly, she prepared her question. "Sparktail… I don't understand you… you seem so… different. I never saw a pokemon like you. I know that you are supposed to have high intelligence, but it doesn't quite explain how you act. I have a question to ask you about that and it might seem strange, but, I need to know. Sparktail…" she said, locking eyes with his. "…are you a real pokemon?"

Rick gasped in amazement. Was she really giving him a chance to say the truth? It seemed too good to be real. He wouldn't have expected that, at least, not so soon. That girl must have a crazy imagination or truly be an observant person to make such a bold remark. Either way, he would not lie this time. It was a one-time opportunity he couldn't miss. Keeping his calm, even if he was still whimpering slightly, he slowly shook his head with exaggerated movements to make sure he was understood, though he didn't need that much to get a reaction from the young woman. As soon he began to move, Jen asked her next question, her voice shaking with excitement. "No? Then… were you… human?"

That question was followed by a long moment of silence. She knew. Someone, ready to help him, knew. He was tempted to say yes, but… would that be the right thing to do? If he involved her in all this, wouldn't that be a source of problems for her? If she failed to help him, there would be one person to know that his humanity had vanished and suffering because of it. Then again, what other option was left to him? If he wanted any kind of help, she needed to know. It was a requirement he couldn't avoid. She was the only one he could possibly trust right now. It was a risk he had to take, for his sake. Beside, telling her right now would make him feel so free and so human. Following that logic, Rick nodded happily, while smirking at Jen, as if to say: "Hey, it took you long enough to guess it!'

His joking manner didn't really get to Jen, not as much as the nod itself. The girl looked at Sparktail in awe, eyes wide open. "Oh Arceus… this ... this is the most incredible thing I've ever seen! This is just ... wow..."

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"That's intolerable, Mr. Libovsky!" interjected a rude looking man in a green uniform, hitting the desk with his fists, to the image of the scientist in his videophone screen. It was time for his monthly report about his project and what he said didn't look good. "We are under tight delays, Mr. Libovsky, and our budget is not unlimited. We paid a lot for the construction of your lab and the use of rare chemicals and all we asked you was monthly reports that would look at least encouraging. My superiors won't like those new delays of yours!"

The man on the screen, William B. Libovsky, was trying his best to stay calm, but negotiating with this man had proved to be very difficult, if not impossible. When most of your financing came from the army, it was hard to say no to their requests. If he lost their support, years of work would be lost (though he had only seen real advancements since he got their support nearly one year ago). When he was so close to succeeding, it was not an outcome he would want to see. "General, I know how important my project is for the government, but you have to understand. There has been an accident and human lives are at stake here! I can't work on it until the situation has been resolved. Imagine if the affair gets into the public? It would be a catastrophe!"

"A catastrophe? You know what would be a catastrophe? A war with Johto!.Those bastards have been spying on us since that accident a few months ago in one of our bases! If they were to attack us today, we would have no defense! It's not just a few lives on the line here, but thousands! We need your invention to be fully operational as soon as possible. If it doesn't, we will have to rely on the VX project. Think about those poor pokemon!" he added, with slight sarcasm.

The VX project. William shuddered just at the thought of it. While his invention could provide some positive insight on pokemon while serving as a potential weapon, the VX project was nothing but a brutal testing ground where pokemon were butchered for the glory of the Kanto military. Pokemon fought in dog fights, and were tested with almost any chemical the army could find. All of this in hopes of obtaining a breed of pokemon that would be totally obeisant and would be used in great numbers to replace humans in dangerous operations, as well to serve as powerful weapons with their abilities. It was one of the reasons the army had gotten him to work for them. If he provided a fully working prototype within a year, they would put a stop to that project. The other was obviously those threats of a war with their neighbor country. There had been no word about it in the public medias, but, as proved in confidential documents he had been shown, the threat was real. "Alright sir… but I would need two more millions to accelerate the research, the help of some of your scientists and, if possible, a way to peacefully resolve this accident so I don't have to spend time on it anymore. I know it's a lot, but…"

"Granted. But we want the project to be finished within the next two months. And I don't want to hear any questions about how we're going to get rid of your little problem. We shall--" the man started to say, but he was interrupted by Libovsky. "Get rid of? You can't do that! That's… that's… murder!"

The highly graded man looked at his screen, smirking. "Murder? No, it's not murder. We're the army, not the boy scouts! If this incident is a threat to our country; it's our duty to eliminate it. But, if it worries you so much, you can be rest assured that we will not harm these people. We have a way to silence them. Now, Mr. Libovsky, get back to work!"

The discussion ended abruptly, leaving William to stare at the black screen of his videophone. "What have I done?" he said miserably, turning his head to glance at a photo on his desk. He shouldn't have mentioned that accident. He should have found a better lie. Now, it was too late. "I'm sorry… I've failed you."