Author Note: (singing) Happy Birthday Sparktail! Happy Birthday Sparktail! Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday; Happy Birthday Sparktail! Yay!!! (end singing)

Yep, today, Sparktail (or Rick) celebrates his first birthday. Ah, the distant times of his birthday. I remember when he was a cute little pichu, cuddled against his mother and... oh wait... he never was (officially) a pichu. But still, during the past year, Sparktail had been a lot of things, including (copy paste what Sparktail himself said on the old forum) "a pikachu, a raichu, a shadow pokemon, a killer, a lover, a father, a son, a leader, a tyrant, a dead body, a spirit, a fragment of my son's troubled mind, a trained pokemon, a warrior, a human, an insane chu, a food gatherer, a member of the Elder Council, a traitor, a manipulator, a rapist, a negotiator, a clown, a drunken chu, a wimp, a crying chu, an insensible chu, a power-hungry chu, an overall evil being, the destroyer of humanity, a natural born pikachu, a naughty chu who urinated on a poor human, a friend, a best friend, an enemy and an evil returning spirit with godly power of destruction on april's fool day." Hmm... that list is incomplete. I will append "a jolteon, a shrunken chu, a pikachu-morph, a pichu, an espeon's enemy, the same espeon's lover, a psychic, umbreon's food, a home mouse, a pet, a plush, a husband, a scientist, an angry person, an eevee, an umbreon, a giant pikachu, some other random TF thing(s), the TF gun official provider and Sparktail." There, the list feels more complete. I probably forgot a few ones (most likely a lot), but I cannot remember everything about a character that is virtually everywhere, so let say they are all included into "random TF thing(s)".

To celebrate his birthday and the place he was born, we gave life to the old pokemon forum here on (Roleplaying: Transformation and Pokemorph) with a new spoiler-free roleplay (Novorum Principiis) topic for everyone to join and enjoy. May someone hear this and create another Sparktail-like idiot... err... great character on this happy day (but not as awesome as him. Sparktail is unique and he shall remain as such.) Anyway, back on a more interesting subject for most of you, this story. Have decided to put an end to it...indefinitely! (dramatic music)

Naw... I'm joking. Sorry about the delay between the last chapter and this one, though. Like I said before, I had nearly completed chapter 11, but I lost faith in my writing and went through many phases, including laziness. The latter is my biggest enemy and the former is a good ally of the latter. I received comments from someone saying that the quality of my writing was dropping, plummeting, dipping, tumbling, reducing, falling, sinking (Yay for random synonyms from the thesaurus.), so I tried to put more efforts and thoughts into it. At about 3/5 through this chapter, some of you might notice a difference in the style, a difference that seemed better to my eyes. I hope this helps to regain the quality I was said to have lost. I encourage critical reviews, flames even, if it is constructive. I think I need it to keep my motivation to get better and to write this. Also, every reviewer gets fancy responses. I think about the responses, they are worth it (there are others advantages to review at least once, but those are surprises.)

So… enough talk about me, let's talk about reviews, while we are talking about them. I love that. (grin)

Foxyjosh: Oh yeah… I hate spoilers too. Yet, I can't stop myself from looking at them. (glare at SSBB and shake my head) I hope you like this chapter, even if it's less shining than the previous ones. Hehe… shining.

HelKat: Yay! A new reviewer! I was pleasantly surprised by this. I'm happy to have you aboard the happy reviewer train, heading onward to… (Sparktail glares at me) oh… yeah… I must remain spoiler-free. (I must recover too, but that's a totally unrelated video game subject. In fact, it's so unrelated that I don't even know why I mentioned it. Maybe I should delete it… hmmm… naw…) To conclude this, I hate those mysterious military spies thingy persons. They are… evil… or not… or maybe…

Kirby: (grin evilly) So… I heard you like Jen? I wonder why… hmm…hum… hummity hum… oh well… I blame Master Thirteen. (more grinning) You know, it's equally strange that I am writing this, because you are sleeping in my chat window, which mean I'm talking to a sleeping person, which mean I am weird. That's freaky. I did mention Kagai, but also mentioned Magic before and nobody complained. I could also mention Softpaw, Miya, Strongpaw and Keith, but who cares? They don't know who/what they are yet, so I doubt someone would feel spoiled by hearing the name of a character that might or might not appear. What else… you don't do stupid things (except with ye olde time gun of ancients RP times), Jen is more sane than you think, Sparky will always be lucky, my grammar likes you now, those shadowy people are kinda just shadowy like that and the voices are talking to you! (sic Miya on you.)

PS: It was the Reviewer of the Year, actually. (Give you plaque)

PPS: Without that birthday one year ago, we wouldn't have met. So there. But I thank F.D. too.

PPPS: I hope this chapter will be as gripping.

PPPPS: Vee? VEE? VEEEEEEEEE (/end MGS parody)

So… this completes the review response section, so here comes the chapter. But before, I would like to mention that I replaced my short military scene at the end of chapter 10 by a remake of it made by Kazundo's Advocate. Same content, different author. Call it a tribute if you want. Anyway… enjoy this chapter (longest ever again, with 6352 words)!

Chapter 11: Insightful Mind

"Looks like someone had some fun with electricity. You should be more careful with it, you could really hurt someone." Laughingly said a voice echoing everywhere around Rick, who was floating in a black void he knew too well. The pikachu sighed; he would never get a moment of peace, would he? "Very funny, Psywave. Now, show yourself!" he ordered to the void, screaming angrily. Psywave might have bested him the last three times he met him, but he would not win this time.

The void stayed silent for a while, as if Psywave was heavily thinking about what was supposed, according to Rick, to be a simple request. Finally, he spoke once more, his voice tainted with defiance. "If you wish, Rick, if you wish. You might regret it, though." As the voice died, a yellow shape appeared a few feet away from Rick. Messy at first, its traits started refining, the characteristics of an electric mouse shaping up. To Rick's amazement, the creature taking shape wasn't exactly like it was before. As soon the forms of a tiny black tail, big diamond-shaped ears and pink cheeks became noticeable, he knew what his enemy had chosen to become. "A Pichu? Is this a joke?" he blabbered, almost offended by such a lack of respect.

"No, Rick, it's not a joke. I feel like celebrating, so I got some appropriate clothing. Do you like it? I chose it just for you!" happily exclaimed Psywave between two childish chuckles. Suddenly, he was acting as if the psychotic pikachu he had been had never existed. He bounced on the spot, looking as happy as the creature he currently looked like could be. This made absolutely no sense to the older rodent. He had thought he had started to understand Psywave, but now he didn't know what to think of him. In fact, he didn't even know what to think at all. Too many things had happened since the last time he had been here. In less than one hour (or so he had guessed by the positions of the sun), Jen had learned about him being formerly human and he had nearly lost his cool while trying to show where Bill's lab is. Then, just as he was about to get a decent mastery his electricity, those uncanny voices had to mess everything up! Now, this crazy thing took a body so cute he couldn't hurt him to cool down his rage!

Distressed, Rick fell to his knees, looking down. It was enough of a negative reaction from Rick for the excited pichu to stop jumping and to set his stare on the older chu worryingly. "Rick? Are you-" he tried to ask, but he was harshly cut off by the enraged creature. "Stop calling me Rick! I'm not Rick anymore! You were right, Psywave! I am Sparktail. As much I know, Rick wasn't a pikachu. Rick didn't have weird voices inside his head! Rick wasn't crazy!" he yelled at him angrily, going back on his hind paws. Locking eyes with Psywave, he pointed at himself with quick gestures. "Do I look like Rick to you? Tell me, Psywave, you who seem to know so much about me; tell me who you think I am!"

Psywave, who had remained silent while Rick was screaming at him, began to walk toward the angry pikachu in a relaxed pace that showed no fear or worries. Once he was inches away from the pikachu's muzzle, the young pichu rose on two paws, his face bearing a curious expression. Calmly, he examined Rick from every angle, smiling happily. "You look like a fine pikachu to me, Sparky. I wanna be like you when I get older!" he chanted like a kid, before his face suddenly turned to a more serious expression. "Joke aside… I taught you well, but there is still a lot you fail to understand." The youngling started saying, using his familiar cryptic tone that made Rick cringe inwardly.

"Those voices… I wouldn't say you're crazy. That would make me crazy too, and I'm not. What we are, I would rather call it unique. If I remember right, I asked you before if you were a pikachu. The answer, as you might guess, is maybe. It depends on how you see it. You have the body of one, but the mind and the intelligence of a human. Why can't you be both?" he asked Sparktail, his eyes now staring deeply into his. A dark smile had appeared on his muzzle, growing wider as he spoke. "Didn't you feel the power running through those cheeks? Wasn't it those voices that made you change your mind about storing electricity and probably saved your life? Learn to control them, and you will become a powerful beast! Nobody will ever dare to stand in your way! You will crush them all!"

Chuckling evilly, Psywave backed away from Sparktail. The pikachu frowned, looking disdainfully at the crazy little pichu. "You're a fool, Psywave!" he said, rushing at the pichu in one quick motion. Before Psywave could react, something three times his weight rammed into him, throwing him to the ground. The larger mouse stood over the pichu's weak form, narrowing his eyes. "I wish only your destruction and the destruction of everything you stand for!" Using one paw, he pinned the pichu, pressing hard against his small throat. Coughing out a weak laugh, the trapped creature painfully forced a meek voice out, no less defiant than thirty seconds ago. "Go ahead and crush me. Let your anger finish me off. You know you want it. Crush the weaker. Be a coward. Doesn't the goal justify the mean used to reach it? Kill me! Then go back to being human without telling anyone. Ignore that this would make Sunny sad and crush Jen! While you are at it, you could kill Bill and take credit for his invention." Coughing some more, he intensified his stare on the dominant rodent. "Ohh… now I see your human self in all it's glory! Oh, what an ugly thing it is! I just want to spit on it." True to his words, Psywave ignored the pain and spat on Sparktail, smirking.

Surprisingly, no angry reaction, no threat came as retaliation. Disgusted, Rick didn't feel like hurting the pichu anymore. He released his grip on the younger rodent and stepped back with difficulty before falling to the ground awkwardly. "That's it! I… I give up. I can't take it anymore! You want me to stay a pikachu, then you don't, then you want it again. You want me to crush others and then you blame me for trying. I… I hate this place! I hate those dreams! I hate you! Stop being so cryptic and just tell me plainly what you want with me. Remove the mask and tell me the truth. Any secrets you're hiding, I'm ready to take them!"

There was no laughter or cynical reply from Psywave as he stood up on two paws again, rubbing his sore throat. His body flickered, taking a new shape with each flicker, seemingly growing up until he looked like a pikachu once more. This time however, there was something disturbingly unique with the shape he took. He had become a perfect copy of Sparktail, including the scar over his right eye. "There, Sparktail, you see the real me now. Happy? What did you expect? There is no secret, no mystery. I am what you always knew I was. I am you. You hate me? Then you hate yourself. You hate all those different facets of you I've shown you. Why did I do that, you ask? I tried to whisper you the reason, but each time, your deaf ears didn't want to listen. You never want to listen. All there is to see here is you and your selfishness, nothing less, nothing more. Think farther than us for once. You want me gone? Fine, I'll go. But not before giving you once last piece of advice, one you should listen to very carefully: Each time you are about to make a choice, each time you feel anger taking over, think about how your choice will affect those around you. Make the right choices, and you will be much happier and you will never see me again. Do wrong, and I will personally come to kick your butt. Until then, farewell, Rick 'Sparktail' Tortoas. May you have learned from this the next time we meet."

With those final words of parting, Psywave vanished into the void, leaving Rick alone with his guilt. This revelation, if it was one, had crushed him. "He's done it. He's made me hate myself. Hate the human I was and the pikachu I 'm becoming I have to put an end to that. From now on, Rick is truly gone. Until I am worthy of the name my parents gave me, I will be Sparktail. And I will stay Sparktail until I tame that anger and evilness inside me. If I don't… then I might as well stay a pokemon, for that's what I am." With that depressing vow, Sparktail was taken away by the void too, going back to realm of reality.

-----

Silence dwelt inside the small tent, true to the depressing atmosphere both inside and outside the lifeless body of the small mouse. For the last six hours, Jen had been at his side, giving him the necessary cares. His cheeks and forehead were covered with cold blankets in an effort to diminish the pain and the heat that had been radiating from them since the incident. At least Sparktail seemed out of danger. His heart rate and breathing were back to normal and his face wasn't nearly as hot as it had been earlier. There was nothing more that she could do for him, other than being here. Here, alone with what she considered to be her mistake, Sunny having since long been recalled to her ball. It wouldn't have been fair for an innocent creature like the vulpix to feel that pain, when it was only the girl's fault if a pokemon was suffering. Of course, Jen wasn't in his body and couldn't know exactly what had happened, but it was her who had started the training. It was all her fault.

Because of that, she deserved to share that suffering. Her swollen, red eyes still displayed the grief she had felt when she saw the rodent collapse to the ground. She could still remember the pain frozen on his muzzle and the look he had given her when he fell. It had been one of disdain and hate, she knew it. Sparktail probably hated her now. It must have been the most painful moment of the past month. Sighing, the girl put the blanket back in its original position. If he saw how caring she had been while he was knocked out, maybe it would remove any traces of resentment he could have toward her. That is, of course, supposing he does wake up eventually. As easy as it was for her to conclude he seemed fine by looking at his body, it was very hard, if not impossible, to tell if he wasn't injured inside. If didn't wake up, she would have no choice but to walk all night into the woods to reach the closest city. But this wasn't an option she liked too much. She knew how to treat pokemon, and it was only a matter of time before Sparktail would wake up. His body obviously only needed more rest. Everything was going to be fine. Hopefully.

Resting her head near the mouse's belly, the young woman calmly listened to the noises coming from inside him, her pain soothed by the relaxing pulses. Her mind wasn't still completely at rest though. She tried to keep the last ten seconds of that unfortunate event from replaying non-stop in her conscious, but she failed, since the holes in the logical sequence of event were too big to be avoidable. She simply couldn't understand what had happened. She had facts, she had seen things, but, yet it didn't make sense. How could Sparktail have shocked himself to the point of falling unconscious? He had taken a good position (although it could have been better) when he let the electricity go, and, even if it went through his body, he should have minimized the effects of the charge to the point almost no pain should have been felt, much less fall unconscious. What was even stranger was how there was no trace of burns anywhere on his body, other than on his cheeks and forehead. The burns on his cheeks, it was understandable, but the one on his forehead… why was it burnt there? Had she have sophisticated tools, she would have tried to see further through that one, but she couldn't, so all she could hope was that this strange burn didn't cause any damage to him.

Obviously, most pokemon trainers would have immediately run to the nearest pokemon center for further examinations, but Jen had a different way of drawing the line. As soon her pokemon showed signs of fatigue or minor injuries, she simply forbid them to fight and applied some homemade medicine. In this case, everything, other than this burn on his forehead, pointed to fatigue and inexperience. Since the only thing that hit him was his own electricity, the sources of complications following that kind of incident were negligible for a pikachu. Running back to town would not only mean wasting time, but it also meant she would be putting her pokemon in the hand of people she didn't know. Not that she didn't trust the nurses, but having herself followed a small course on pokemon health care methods, she was convinced that her pokemon appreciated her cares more. After all, she was their friend. More than that, maybe there was a way for them to know that Sparktail wasn't born a pokemon and then, who knew what could happen to him? Everybody wasn't nice like her and professor Oak. He could be forced through experiments worse than only having someone like her to take notes about his behaviour. Right now however, she did doubt a little about her decision of staying here. Maybe it wasn't the best one in this situation. This doubt was only one more reason to feel guilty.

All of a sudden, Sparktail's heart rate sped up. As it rose, his little body started to regain life. Unsettled by the unexpected motion, Jen raised her head and stared at him, a glint of hope in her eyes. "Sparktail?" she asked the slowly moving body. Her voice, soft like a whisper, felt more like she was reassuring him than asking an actual question. There was little chance he would actually say something back, since he was just waking up, but Sparktail defied the odds, for a good reason. The first thing he felt when he woke up was a sharp burning sensation on his forehead, a feeling he would rather never have felt. It didn't take long before he let out a few undecipherable yelps of pain, before holding them back, for he felt like Jen was staring at him. If he showed any kind of weakness to Jen, she would likely decide to make him stay down. Anyway, the stinging sensation was nothing compared to how it had been at first when he had been hit, so the pain would probably be gone soon. There was still another detail to take care of, though. There was something annoyingly cold on his cheeks, and, despite the fact he knew it was helping him, he didn't want that thing to be there, since the water running on his cheeks was preventing him from using them efficiently.

Tilting his head sideway, he felt the cold sensation move away from his cheeks, sliding along his muzzle. It finally vanished as gravity pulled whatever was on his cheeks to the floor, the suction from the liquid on it unable to retain the wet object. Freed from this source of annoyance, Sparktail used the fact that he was already standing on his belly to his advantage, quickly rising on four paws, opening his eyes as he did so. What he saw wasn't much different from what he had expected. That wall was there again, suggesting he was still in that portable nest. This meant that he was safe, though he already knew that. His sense of smell had identified Jen's scent long before he had even had a conscious thought, making it obvious he wasn't in any immediate danger. Even so, it didn't take a genius to know that it was in his best interest to turn around and face Jen. Whatever had happened outside, she had been nice enough to bring him back here, so it would be pretty impolite to ignore her. Not only that, but he still feared what would happen to him if he showed any weakness.

Forcing a smile, Sparktail quickly made a half-turn on himself, his muzzle now pointing at Jen's belly and his eyes staring at her torso, a bit absent-minded. He didn't seem that much bothered with the view of those two bumps on her chest that were distinctly different from the rest of her mid section. That is, until he remembered what slightly appealing things they were. Feeling somewhat guilty about doing something wrong, the nervous rodent looked up, searching for something less disturbing. He found it in the form of the human's head, which was looking down at him. It was a much better sight, though there was still something striking about that. It was hard to tell if it was the mess that was her hair, the strange aspect of her eyes or the whole tired feeling emanating from her face, but he almost felt guilty about it.

Almost, because this emotion was quickly swapped with the reminder that his forehead still hurt and that it wasn't something he liked. Thinking about his previous actions, he now regretted removing that cold thing from his head. That freezing feeling might not have been the best thing in the world, but it had definitely felt a lot better with it than without. However, he wasn't about to put it back on. It might be only petty pride, but he wouldn't let Jen think she had been right by doing that. He still deserved some independence in his choices, after all.

If there was one thing that could be concluded from Sparktail's latest actions, it was that all this faking about being fine did make it through Jen's mental barrier of worries. Temporarily forgetting about her pokemon's humanity (and thus his ability to lie more easily), the trainer thought that the mouse current smile and relaxed position were trusty indicators that everything was fine. A smile formed on her face, her hand instinctively beginning to pet his head. "I'm glad to see that you are ok. I—" She stopped midway, noticing how she was petting Sparktail, instantly reminded of what he really was. Jerking her hand away from him, she looked down to stare at it, avoiding any visual contact with the mouse. "I'm sorry… I'm used to doing that. Excuse me. I didn't mean to… well…"

Giving the human a curious glance, Sparktail held a laugh, finding her sudden uncomfortable way of acting very funny, even if he hadn't really minded the petting. In fact, it felt so nice that he would have liked it if she had continued, if he didn't have to act human. If it was any consolation, he was amused at seeing her like this. It wasn't everyday that he could laugh at someone without any consequence, even though his laugh was mostly silent. Intent on adding more fun to the joke, he took an annoyed stance, his eyes piercing hers like knives. Guilty, the poor girl could only babble a few incoherent words, before changing the subject in a rush. "Err… yes, so… are you sure everything is ok? You spent six hours knocked out. It was like a living nightmare to me."

Sparktail flinched. Nightmare… that word awakened some recent painful memories. While he was sleeping, he had had one bad nightmare. What happened in it was now clear. He was there, and Psywave too. Psywave had revealed his identity and then, after he left, he had made some kind of vow. It was about… him becoming less selfish. Selfish… wasn't it how he had just acted toward Jen, by making fun of her, despite knowing he was only hurting her? It seemed he still hadn't learned his lesson.

After nodding at Jen, Sparktail looked around him, feeling bad. He needed some time alone to think about that. Since the pokeball wasn't an option, he would have to be a bit more reckless. Glancing at Jen's left side; he noticed an opening in the tent, big enough for him to slip through. While Jen was preparing a reply, the mouse nonchalantly made his way to the opening. Even if he was going at a slow pace, his posture expressed a different feeling. He was forcing himself to walk on two paws, shoulders lowered, in a characteristic human manner that was anything but comfortable for his body. If Jen didn't get that he wasn't in a mood for talking, then she was dumber than she looked.

Dumb wasn't exactly the right word to describe Jen. If there was word related to the current situation, it was probably quick-minded. Noticing that the wounded mouse was suddenly not in front of her, Jen quickly turned her head to the entrance. Immediately, her eyes recognized the shape of the rodent, but she made no sound to call him, as there was no reason to. Seeing the unique posture he took, she decided against bothering him. His stance plainly screamed that he was in some kind of emotional turmoil; she would have been a fool not to notice it. However, she was skilled with pokemon mentalities, not human ones. There was no way for her to guarantee that she would be able to help him in some way, so she figured that the best thing to do was to stay out of this, at least for now. Still, there would be no logic in letting him go outside alone, so she subtly looked at where he was going.

Unaware that he was being watched, Sparktail walked out of the tent, convinced he had successfully escaped his trainer for a while. Looking in every direction, he examined his surroundings, pleased to notice that there had been no change since last time. This meant that Jen hadn't moved, so he knew where he shouldn't go, starting with the clearing. It was too obvious of a place and he would easily be spotted by his trainer. The best place would be one where, not only he would be hidden, but also where he could relax in peace. This good spot was right in front of him, in the form of a berry bush. It wasn't only satisfying his previous conditions, but it also contained more of those delicious little blue pellets for him to eat while he thought. It was simply perfect.

Having chosen his destination, the pikachu crouched down on four paws, readying for a quick race against Jen's reaction speed. His legs moved forward, his body picking up as much speed as it was possible to obtain. In what seemed like a flash to him, he had disappeared out of sight under the bushes. Still, despite his extra efforts, he didn't get the expected results. Accelerating so quickly could have fooled a predator with poor vision, but not Jen. She saw precisely where he was heading and that's why she didn't release her grip on Sunny's pokeball. She had no reason to chase after him, since he had gone straight for the berry bushes. Looking for food and a place where he wouldn't be seen was the kind of behavior she had expected, so she had few reasons to worry. Her decision was confirmed when she heard the sounds of his little legs sliding in the dirt to slow him down; meaning he probably wouldn't go any farther. After all, if he had wanted to run away from her, he would have had plenty of opportunities before. Even though she was confident that the mouse wouldn't leave, she didn't really trust everything to go perfectly right. Remaining focused on any new sounds coming from there, she began to pack her stuff. If they wanted to reach Cerulean City eventually, someone had to do it.

A few feet away, Sparktail wasn't expressing as much faith in himself as Jen seemed to have placed in him. Sitting under the bush, his back resting on its slightly thorny surface, the yellow rodent was thinking intensely about his dream. That vow he had made and the events that led to it were all he could focus on. Or rather, all he wanted to think about. The vow itself wasn't a problem, but its implications brought a dilemma that few men had had to solve before, if any. His vow made it clear that he would have to get better if he wanted to stay human in his head, but Psywave made him doubt about wanting it. Was he really a good human? Had he made the right choices? If he hadn't, was it worth it to turn back into a human, or even be allowed to think like one? At least, with a pokemon's mind, if he was to hurt someone, it would be an accident, part of how nature had intended him to act.

The ideal solution, which was to put forth the efforts needed to change his set of mind, would take too much time to apply, more than he would he able to tolerate his unwanted pokemon behavior. After all, you can't easily change twenty years of acting like if your own success and pokemon were the only things of any worth to your eyes, and that, instantly. This seemed like an impossible task, considering his poor social background. He had no friends nor had he wanted one, since nobody had been able to understand the way he thought. At school, his peers had said that he thought too much about pokemon and not enough about making sacrifices for the advancement of science. That's why he had wanted to work with computers. With them, he was master of everything and he didn't have to get his hands dirty on anything involving people. It had been the perfect job for him, but he had still felt alone and misunderstood. Bill had been the only man he had come to respect, but he had betrayed him. This was depressing. Was there anything good about humanity?

Lifting his head in spite of looking at something better than his undeserving form, Sparktail gave the tent a long glance, sighing heavily. If there was anything in the vicinity of this little planet that could ever come close to salvaging humanity in his eyes, Jen was probably the best candidate. He had met many humans during his short life, many for which there weren't words strong enough to describe how despicable they were. None of them, not even the only man he had ever respected, could compare to Jen. She was a single diamond deeply hidden within a mountain of coal, her value imprisoned by her worthless surroundings. In this diamond shined a truly unique individual, the only soul who had ever wanted to help him without asking for anything in return. He didn't deserve to be with her. He was the incarnation of what he hated, the darkest and most useless piece of coal. Once again, Psywave had been proven right. It was now impossible for the small rodent to feel any hatred for that being. That fragment of his imagination hadn't deserved to be ignored and he was truly a fool for not listening to it earlier. Not that any kind of open minded reasoning should have been expected from him; he wouldn't be the insignificant creature that he was if he had.

And yet, somehow, Jen did care for him. Sunny, despite being one of the most annoying creatures he ever laid eyes on, expressed the same in a particular way only another of those red and fluffy hot things could understand. Why were these females bothering with him? He was nothing but a selfish human in the body of a energic pokemon, with mental abilities that seemed to shrink with every passing hour and whose mind was haunted by imaginary voices. He was the truest definition of the weird, the bizarre; a freak. There was no logical reason to care for him. All they would get by doing so would be pain and hurt in the long run. What did they expect, really? To have him change suddenly to become the nicest pokemon they ever saw? They could keep wishing, because he wouldn't do that. Not only would it obviously be too much effort, but doing so would imply losing himself to the brainless mind of a pikachu, which wasn't in his immediate plans for the future. He had more to gain from understanding those voices instead, as the answer would draw the path to mastering those forces that escaped his control.

Closing his eyes, he turned his head away from the humanity linked to that tent, away from the dark thoughts creeping around his mind. To accomplish the feat of deciphering the mystery behind the wordless sounds, he would have to shelter his mind as far from reality as possible. Reality was only a chaotic mess of ideas inside his mind, all unrelated to the task at paw. Focusing on the single thought of feeling those voices again, the world around him faded away, shrinking to become a faint shadow at the back of a mold of abstract thought. Relaxed, he let the millions of electrons giving away their position print them into that mold. Those signals, random and in small amounts, formed a beautiful arrangement when seen together, an elementary design he could mold to some extent to execute precise actions. In this passive state, the patterns of energy showed two masses of electrons. From those emerged an intricate network of wires and containers, mapped on almost every corner of what he supposed to be his body. Like the blood stream, those wires came in many sizes, shapes and their own singularities. There was no wire around specific locations, probably important organs, and there was a spot where the wires were so perfectly aligned that it seemed almost foreign compared to the rest of the system. Had Sparktail's goal been to understand the inner working of that system, he would have had taken further notice of this strange pattern, but his interest was limited to the flows of energy in and out of that system. Right now, those flows were negligible, if not nonexistent, but this would not be the case for long. It only took one thought, one idea about wanting to build up energy for the state of the system to change radically.

Suddenly, electrons moved from one mass to the other, using the biggest of those wires. Attracted by the positive charge created by this movement, negative particles from everywhere inside his body moved toward that spot, leaving the various containers they originated from with a deficit. From the inside, those pockets were insignificant compared to the huge pocket that was one of his cheeks, but from the outside, they looked like attractive targets for any free electron around. Being evenly distributed on the surface of his body, the tiny sacs formed together a huge electron magnet, creating a slow but constant flow of particles toward him. Exactly at this moment, the first voices took shape in his mind, appearing as patterned bursts of energy on the mental electricity map he made. Very faintly, those mysterious signals talked about such feeling as being happy, calm, relaxed, eager for something, nervous or unhappy. Those feelings, as shown by the energy's pattern, were simple, but, as before, there was that strong voice that encompassed every other, a burst so powerful that it hurt his mind. This time, it expressed feelings of happiness, mixed with the sensation of being relieved, though there was also a faint trace of concerns and worries.

Immensely disturbed by the constant flow of energy running through his mind, the poor rodent weakly listened to those voices, drowning in their cryptic messages. The very existence of those messages had birthed many subtle and annoying questions, scratching the foundations of his innate truths. Flaws of his reasoning were pinpointed by those precise inquiries, bringing forth the answers he was looking for on a silver platter. However, if this platter was holder of the truth, it was more than worthy of being thrown aside, as it could bring to the ground everything he knew about himself. Yet, it was hard, if not impossible, to ignore those questions. How could energy express feelings? How could he know they were feelings in the first place? Why did those feelings felt so real, so true?

Unable to retain those questions any longer, Sparktail let their obvious answers print themselves into his mind, perfectly completing the design he built. It was both exciting and frightening at same time. Those mysterious energy waves flowing inside him were exactly what they pretended to be. If they were recognized, translated by his brain and expressed as being pure feelings, it could only be because they were real feelings. Or rather, they were the most basic form emotions could take, it being residue of brain electrical activities. All these emotions were coming from creatures around him, their complexity varying according to the species. After all, a more powerful brain is expected to work harder and to show more activity. Using this theory as a basic fact, one could easily deduce that the powerful voice hurting him was owned by Sparktail's trainer. If the rodent's current struggle with a mind that didn't agree with him was any indication, few pokemon possessed the potential of intelligence a human had.

This same conclusion, the former human had come up with it, save that his version was more unstable and defined with less precision. Despite the obvious limitations his brain had to picture the situation, it remained as problematic as it would have been for him as human. Suddenly, he wasn't only a regular pikachu, but one with the curious ability to perceive the emotions of those around him under certain conditions. Had his pikachu body have any preceding knowledge about this unique skill, he would at least have been allowed to blame it once again, but alas his instincts gave him no such signs. If it wasn't native pikachu ability, it could only be a native human one, or maybe a mix from the two. Either way, the idea that he could be some kind of psychic creature wasn't appealing. Since day one, he had had to fight with all his might to keep intact his humanity in sufficient amount. Already crushed by dilemmas and problems, the last thing he needed was to have his mind filled up with troubles of others, especially not those of Jen. A nice person like her didn't deserve to have someone like him nearby to make her feel bad, or at least, he didn't need to know about it.

In the mist of this guilt and sadness, Sparktail finally made a choice. If those voices were actually the feelings of others, he didn't want to them. Their existence was only a curse, taunting him with information that stayed inside people's head for the very good reason that they were meant to stay disclosed. He might usually be devoured by curiosity, but he wouldn't go as far as seeking into minds to gain more knowledge. He wouldn't allow himself to be a freaky psychic. If he found no way to avoid receiving those feelings each time he strongly used his electricity, he would just stop using it. Better be a handicapped pikachu than a monster.

To stay loyal to his choice, the fractured soul let the energy map fade away, sending his mind into a soft state of relaxation; this would unlock the door leading back to the real world and its bland and almost colorless scenery. Feeling the voices shrink into nothing, the rodent smiled to himself; this would be over soon. The faintest ones were quickly gone, followed by those close to him, then… to his surprise, there wasn't only one flow remaining in the end, but two. The one expressing those strong feelings, he didn't bother with, as it was only Jen's. The one other one was perplexing. The complexity of emotions wasn't any different from all the others faint ones, but it felt close… dangerously close. Almost like if… whatever was emitting those waves was heavily focused on him. Focused on his body, focused on a growing desire of hunger, focused on anticipating the sensation of being filled, focused on…

Before the thought reached his conscious mind, he had already taken action. With the speed of a bullet train, his left forepaw dug deep into the ground, his whole body tensing and his weight shifting on the grounded paw. Releasing it from the floor's grip, like one would release a spring, he threw his body in the opposite direction, to the right, to safety. Rolling toward Jen and shocking his eyes open in surprise, he felt his others senses return to him. His ears catching on the sounds of a loud weight landing where he had been barely a fraction of second ago, his nose identifying the smell of blood and his eyes getting a glimpse of a black clawed paw, he panicked. "Jen!!! Help!!! Beast!!!"