Chapter 8 – Act like you mean it

Narcissa came to retrieve me to go shopping.

'I found this amazing spell that can make it look like youre not pregnant at all, except the radiant that just shines off you. All mothers have that and make them look absolutely beautiful. I think that if they had a spell for that, I would refuse to use it.'

I smiled, letting her apperate us away. These days I was a bit disoriented and it was best that I didnt try to apperate anywhere alone. I would get lost.

'Narcissa! And this must be the happy lady. We are so happy that youre going to let us make the dress for you.'

I blushed, letting them pull me along to the back. Hearing someone apperate behind me I saw Draco with Lucius, his father must help him with the suit. I giggled seeing him looking at me suprised. Narcissa explained it to them, before following me into the totally empty room.

'What color did you have in mind my dear?'

'White going very light blue.'

'Skin-tight at the waist and above?'

'Yes and strapless.'

I kept giving them instructions while they meassured my sizes after Narcissa used the spell on me. Twillfit got out her wand and used a spell to show me how the dress would look like when they were done. There would be diamonds around the top and at the points where they indicated that my waist was. Also they promised me that they would make me a diamond necklace to fit the dress and the ring I had from Draco. He had forseen that we couldnt get Voldemorts ring off to slip it back on during the ceremony and with the dark lords permission he got to buy a new ring that would be slipped on my right hands fourth finger. The dark lord moved the other ring to my lefts hand fourth finger. That way people would see that the dark lord caused the marriage and that I was accepted to be the mother of his heir. This all sounds a bit troubling in my ears and I dont want to think about that while shopping.

'Now to get some sexy lingerie for the weddingnight.'

I started blushing as Narcissa took me into a shop full with sexy lingerie. The spell still hid my belly but I couldnt imagine myself wearing lace to seduce Draco, who would jump into bed with me even when I wore oversized clothing. To think of it, I still havent had sex with him since I made that promise to myself that I wouldnt let myself get concurred that easy. Now I would be forced to, and I will have to like it as well. I wanted to bang my head on one of the walls, stopping myself when I saw Draco and Lucius also entering the store.

'No, no, no!'

I shook my head at them, but Draco just smirked, putting his hands around my tiny waist. He could now just put them around it, while with the belly he would have to stretch his hands at least to three times their own size. That makes a difference doesnt it?

'So... Im getting a little suprise at our weddingnight?'

'No.'

'Yes! Look Elle, I believe even you like this.'

I groaned and shook my head at Narcissa.

'I really, really, REALLY, dont want this.'

'But its tradition.'

Narcissa let her arms fall down in fake-sadness, but she got me with those puppy dog eyes.

'Alright alright, but Im not doing it for Draco.'

'Ill still like it.'

'Just... OUT!'

He quickly scurried away with his father, blowing me a kiss which I tried to evade by jumping aside and stucking my tongue out at him. Im as childish as there can be, Im only eighteen years old after all... and so is Draco. He was seen as the youngest kid at Hogwarts, but they never took a look in my records, my birthday is exactly one day after his. Which is like deathly if you know Draco. He likes having a 48 hour party, which I dont.

Draco and I were sightseeing for different reasons than you might think. We still need a spot where our commitment would be, then a huge ballroom for the afterparty. Draco wanted to go to France, Greece or Italy. I prefered to go to Ireland, Wales or Scottland, where I wanted to have my wedding in the raw nature. Draco didnt want the music artists I wanted to hire either, because they didnt play the kind he liked; clubmusic. He was acting like such a child, like the wedding was just another party, while he made such humbug around the actual proposal.

'Draco, could you leave me alone for a moment?'

'Why?'

'Because you cant handle this thats why! You think this is all a joke, laugh at me when I cry because you insulted me once again and think its normal to have rappers at a wedding!?'

He looked at me strangely, reaching out his hand to touch me, but I ran away from him with tears streaming down my cheeks like every day. It almost was like he couldnt help but insult me, or I would get too close to the actual Draco he really was, a broken soul.

'Oh deary, come here. What did he do now?'

Narcissa took care of me whenever I cried, she had told me that Lucius had been the same way in the beginning. It became even worse when he noticed that Draco was a real whore back at Hogwarts, which was why he was so happy to know he finally had a igirlfriend/i which he dared to bring home. After Voldemort told him to make sure that igirl/i liked Draco enough to marry him, he cried himself. This somehow made me smile, to know that he really cared for me and did have a soul. A broken one at that, but he had one too. Narcissa knew that I wouldnt be able to live with Draco if he wouldnt let me get close to him, see whats behind those curtains of insults. Whenever I thought he had used every possible one on me, he would think of a new one.

'Elle?'

And every time I ran away to cry out with his mom he would follow me and apologize. It meant nothing to him those apologizes, and I never forgave him either. Not even saying I did.

'Leave me alone...'

I whiped away the tears, letting go of Narcissa and turning my back on Draco.

'Come on Elle, you know I never mean it when...'

'When what Draco? When you shut me out again because you think I cant handle your personal or emotional problems? You drive me away because of that and still you keep saying that you wouldnt be able to live without me. Well I am giving you a choice Draco, live with them and share them with me...... or live alone and hate yourself for it.'

Draco hadnt given me an answer yet, I was currently too emotional to face him anyway. He let me take care of the wedding, saying that he indeed was a bit too childish too take care of that. After he said that he locked himself up in his room. I always see it like that when I dont get an answer, they agree with me, but I wont tell you what Im planning yet. As long as Naomi gets a better future than I, I will be happy enough to smile.

'I think we should take red and white roses, to match the rest of the furniture and hangings.'

Narcissa was pointing out some last minute changes, Draco first had chosen ice blue roses, because he heard from his mother that that kind of color was the color of my dress. It was the only thing that had mattered to him in a serious way.

'No, leave them ice blue.'

'Are you sure?'

'Yes, we dont want people to say thats a boring setting.'

'Have you decided on a place yet?'

My mind wandered through all the places me and Draco had been to, he had been right at one thing, Greece was beautiful. And the first place he had chosen, which he thought I would find boring, was a gorgeous ancient setting with a white garden chapel we could fit beneath with the villages priest.

'Greece, that island named Crete. The first setting Draco chose, the one at the southern village.'

'Yes, that was a beautiful place wasnt it? It amazed me that Draco could pick such a sight freely.'

I giggled at her innocent look, knowing she had something to do with it.

'Then we could make a linkingportal so all our guests will be able to go to the hotel in Hania.'

She wrote all the information down before clapping her hands so one of the servants could take it to the experts they hired. I still couldnt believe that they took all the costs on them, without them I wouldnt be able to have this whole wedding. Draco and I probably wouldve gone to a church, demanded the priest to wed us off and then head to our new home. No money attached. But his parents wanted to make a great feast out of it.

Voldemort arrived a day before the actual wedding, expecting me in his room for a small talk. I was walking from my own room to his, because Draco still refused to get out of his room. I wonder what is holding him there.

'Come in.'

I didnt even have to knock, this same gift was shared by Dumbledore, they leave me to wonder if they are family somewhere in the furtest history.... or something like that. Im rambling now because Im nervous to be in front of such an important man, what if he suddenly decided to hurt or kill me?

'I believe your and Dracos relationship isnt going to well?'

'Hes locked himself up in his room because I told him not to insult me anymore. Further I dont know myself.'

He nodded, turning the chair to meet my eyes.

'Take a seat, I need to have a chat with you about that.'

I quickly sat down in the chair across of him and took the cup of tea he handed me. If he wasnt such a dangerous man, he couldve been my grandfather... just figurative not literally.

'I wanted to warn you that once you and Draco get married, youll be have to be dependent on him. You cant just do want you want and thats also how your daughter will be raised. He will be your boss and theres nothing you can do about it.'

I focussed my eyes on the teacup, trying not to break out in fury, what did he think? Yes, he could be one of the most dangerous people alive but you just cant command someone to throw his whole life, personality and above all love aside. She wouldnt be able to protect her daughter just because he said so and thats something thats not going to happen.

'Whats going to be her name, have you decided on that yet?'

'Naomi.'

I went in search for Draco, while his door had been locked, he himself wasnt there. I had been knocking on his door for what seemed for hours till I used a spell and blast it to small pieces. I wanted to have a talk with him about Voldemort just told me, was this what he had been keeping from me? Did he knew that he could not show any love to me, could do to me whatever he wanted or desired?

'DRACO?!'

If I didnt find him within the next few hours, I would blow the whole house up... this time I meant something literally, so you better run already.

'Yes?'

Or not. He came down with a superior face, looking down on me arrogantly. What had happened to him, what had he done up there?

'Why didnt you tell me? Why did he had to do it and why did you lock yourself up here?!'

Without him wanting to I smashed him into the wall, he could see my murderous intent and was about to keep me from going upstairs, when I noticed something strange. He was never this cold with me, except this one time when he had been doing that girl because of Voldemort.

I threw him aside, heard him fall on the floor, but kept going till I saw what angered me the most. The same girl as before and still I didnt know her name. My whole life was ruined. He claimed he didnt cheat on me, he had been lying to me, again. Tears streamed down my face for the second time that day and I ran away from that naked slut and what was supposed to be my husband tomorrow.

'Helena! Dont you dare run away!'

And he dared to command me as well.... what had happened to him?

'Dont you dare command me Malfoy! I HATE YOU!'

I smashed my door closed as I sat on my bed and left a note in the fireplace. Please Trisha, please be home.

That this all had to happen on the day before my wedding. Trisha tried to sooth me, tried to get that arrogant bastard from my mind. But nothing she did, nothing she was able to do would get that look that had been in his eyes out of my mind. That superior look that I had grown to hate from the moment I met him. That look he had gotten rid off after the ball where he had grown to like me. I felt dehydrated with all the tears shed only in these three months that he had tortured me.

'Do you want me to get you something?'

I first kept shooking my head, till I grew silent and looked up to her with my tearstained face.

'Please get me Richard.'

She gave a half smile and disapperated at the same moment, leaving a shade of her frame. The next moment Richard stood for me with pity in his eyes. His arms were around my tiny body, even with the extra hunger from the pregnancy I didnt eat a lot. Just enough to make sure that Naomi would be healthy. He rocked me backwards and forth just long enough to make me stop sobbing.

'Hes not worth it Elle, hes not worth the tears shed.'

I knew I wasnt crying for that, but he didnt.

'Im not crying because of him Richard. Im crying because Im going to marry that damn bastard, having to raise my dear child near him and his wicked mind and above all Im crying because I will have to obey him on every command once Im married to him.'

Richard rose his head from the top of my head and rose my own to meet him in the eye.

'Dont forget you can always come to me, we can run away together. I know its not a perfect life, not the one youve always dreamed to have, but at least you wont be near him.'

'First I want to settle some things and get that stupid wedding over with. They will even be more dangerous if I dont go through with this wedding.... Rick?'

'Yes?'

'Please kiss me.'

I was getting dressed into my weddingdress, even though I liked it, I didnt think it was going to be a good day for me. The only few lightbulbs in my life ( yes I said lightbulbs, any objections?) were Trisha, Blaise, Richard and Naomi. Maybe this dress too and the necklace I still had from my grandmother. I never thought about her, but thats because she died before I was even born. I do have a necklace from her that I will put around Naomis neck when shes old enough. She will get it on her eighth birthday, whether Im still around or not.

'Are you almost ready, Elle? The guests are already streaming in.'

'They wont start without me will they?'

Narcissa laughed about that, helping me with my hair. I had darkened it and curled from just above my ears till the bottom. With the dark red lipstick I knew I looked perfect. I had a bouquet of bloodred and icy blue roses in my hands. My wedding, it was supposed to be special, to be the one thing in my life I would look back on with a smile. But I was going to ruin it if Draco even dared to command me anything. The weddingnight was off, I had special plans with Richard for that. Draco would never lay his hands on Naomi, not even in his nightmare where she would be the one to finish him off for me.

'Ready?'

'Will I ever be?'

My father entered the room, he was going to be the one who will be leading me down to the isle (of doom) anyway.

'Come on princess, smile.'

He stook out his arm, which I took with a fake smile burning on my face. Imagining the plan I had developed with Richard I immediately felt better and the fake turned into a real smile. The dark red curtains were moved aside as my father and I walked out towards the isle. There stood Draco, with a smirk on his face and his eyes as cold as ice. I heard people amongst the crowd gasp and tell others how beautiful I was. I knew that as well, my eyes wandered to the side where my guests sat and there was he. Richard Livas, the man that made my heart bleed whenever he cried. He smiled at me, he was probably as excited as I was about this whole thing. I felt my fathers arm leave me and instead Draco took my hand in one of his deathly grips, almost warning me not to say no. His eyes glared at me, but to the crowd he just looked like he was a loving fiance that I should love a great deal. But theres always a person that needs to act and today, theres at least two.