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Chapter 5: Sasuke & Sakura

Sarutobi glanced around the room. The small gathering of Jonin sensei were with him, preparing to get a quick look at the kids who would be their students. "Please, have a seat."

"Um, how are we going to watch them from here again?" Asuma said, putting out his cigarette. He wasn't allowed to smoke in his fathers office, which usually made him really irritable. "And where's Kakashi? He's a Jonin, right? He should know better than to be late."

"Don't bother telling him that. He's late to anything and everything. If he was early, we'd know there was something wrong." Kurenai said, glancing at the Hokage.

"Alright, now that the bickering done, here we go." Sarutobi said, pulling out his crystal ball. As he set it on the table, it showed an Academy room. As they glanced through it, they quickly found the kids who could become their students.

A thought struck Kurenai. "Um Hokage-sama, can you see anywhere in Konoha?"

"Well, ya. I can even see a little outside of it when needed."

"I see." Kurenai said with a smile, an angry mark on her cheek. She couldn't prove anything, but she was pretty certain that the Hokage was a . And one of these days, he would get caught.

"Um, Hokage-sama? Isn't there something else you should give us?" Kakashi said, appearing in the window. "I'm sorry I'm late, I got attacked by a vicious dog, and went to the hospital to make sure I haven't gotten rabies."

Several other Jonin in the room sweat dropped. It was a lame excuse, as usual from Kakashi. The Hokage just smiled. "Don't worry Kakashi, you didn't miss anything yet."

"Oh good. I heard that there was an infamous prankster, and was hoping to see some of his work in action."

"Um, that doesn't look healthy. What is he doing?" Another Jonin said, pointing into the crystal ball.

All attention was quickly refocused on the ball. Surprisingly, what they saw wasn't what many expected.

"Ow, that looks like it hurts." Kakashi said.

"What the heck is he doing? That isn't sane." A random Jonin said. "He's banging his head against that desk so hard, it looks like it could break."

"He's single, right?" Anko said.

Everyone turned to her, and she glanced around. "What? Anyone who's that insane is boyfriend material in my books."

"Your books must be really thin then." Another random Jonin muttered under his breath. Said Jonin was quickly sent running, with Anko hot on his heals.

As soon as they got back, Anko had another look at the ball. She grinned. "Oh, it's him. Kurenai, I believe you've ruined my fun."

"Um, dad? Who is he?" Asuma said, ing his head from side to side.

"Well, his name is Uzumaki Naruto. And I believe he's on your team Kakashi." The Hokage said, glancing in his direction.

Kakashi sighed. "Well, this is interesting. Maybe being insane will help him pass my test. I just hope that someone in my group is sane."

The Hokage just chuckled. Well Naruto, I guess you'll get to put your plan into action after all. And as an added bonus, you'll make them lose their sanity so fast, no one will remember what they were like when they were sane. Heck, I doubt anyone would be able to keep their sanity after what you've got planned.

Why? Why? WHY?! Naruto screamed in his head, banging it repeatedly against his desk. Iruka was starting to look concerned, while everyone else was staring at him like he was crazy. He brushed it off. For all they knew, he could be crazy. Damn it Iruka! Why do I have to be with Emo-teme and his crazy fangirl?!

Yes, Naruto was angry, at being placed with Sasuke and Sakura. They were some of the worst people to be around, and Naruto really couldn't stand to be around them, even for a short period of time. He'd tried once, and had made several other attempts to get them to be his friends. Sadly, Sasuke was anti-social, and Sakura was his blind lapdog. Of course, that did make them the easiest to use as cover. Trying endlessly to chase after Sakura, and proclaiming Sasuke as his rival, it was almost too easy.

Of course, when Sarutobi told him he might have Sasuke as a teammate, he hatched an ingenious plan. Having Sakura was just an added bonus.

"Ok…NARUTO!!"

Naruto jumped up a little, before slamming his head on the table one last time. Iruka sighed. Will Naruto ever be normal? The answer: no.

"Alright, you all know who your teammates are, so we'll let you go till lunch time, when you'll meet your new sensei's. Dismissed!"

"Sasuke-kun! Now that we're teammates, want to go somewhere to get to know each other better?" Sakura said, her eyes gleaming. "And maybe, if we're lucky, we could ditch Naruto."

Sasuke sighed. "No."

Sakura looked dejected, and defeated. Naruto let a soft, real smile cross his lips. The situation was too perfect.

Naruto put on his big, fake, grin. "Hey, Sakura-chan!"

Sakura sighed. "What do you want Naruto?"

"Well, since we're teammates and all, would you like to go to Ichiraku with me? Maybe we could get the emo-teme to tag along." Naruto scratched the back of his head. If this worked, Sakura would act accordingly.

"Go away Naruto!" Sakura said, hitting Naruto. When she turned around, she noticed that Sasuke was missing. "Darn it! Thanks a lot Naruto! Now Sasuke's missing!"

As she stormed off, Naruto collected himself. Perfect.

Sasuke walked into a nearby building. If he was lucky, he'd get some peace and quiet for a little bit. He'd been chased by fangirls so many times, he really needed a break. How they always managed to find him, he wouldn't know.

He glanced around the room. The bottom floor was pretty public, and he could be seen from any of the windows. Which only meant he'd have to go upstairs.

As he climbed the steps, he felt a small chill run up his spine. He was being watched.

His eyes darted around. After a few moments, he finally found who was watching him. The self-proclaimed, biggest fangirl of them all; Ino. She was standing on the ledge of a building across from the one he was currently in, and staring straight at him. He sighed. At least she wasn't going to come after him, for now.

He quickly moved on, aiming to get somewhere where no one could see him. After another moment, he found a closed off room, with a thick piece of wood covering the windows. In one of the corners, there was a small pile of logs. It was the perfect place to hide.

It was also the perfect place for an ambush.

"You're mine Sasuke!"

Sasuke spun around, expecting Ino, or some other fangirl. Instead, it was just Naruto, who'd climbed in through one of the windows. He sighed a little, as he watched Naruto throw a sloppy punch. Ducking under it, he slammed his fist into Naruto's gut. Naruto skid back a ways, before jumping towards him again.

"Don't you ever learn?!" Sasuke yelled, sucker punching him straight in the face. As he flew back, Sasuke's eyes widened as it turned into a log. "Kawarimi…"

He didn't have time to say another word, as a hard kick to the back of his knees brought him down. As he groan in pain, Naruto's hand came to the back of his neck and squeezed. As he blacked out, he could only think: Damn -last

As Sasuke went down, Naruto had an evil grin on his face. While he hadn't been taught any sort of Ninjutsu or Genjutsu by the Anbu, they had taught him other useful stuff. Like pressure points, the best way to tie a person up, all about the human body, and all sorts of things about different plants. He pulled out a rope he had, and began tied Sasuke up. He couldn't have the real Sasuke come to ruin his plans.

Naruto surveyed his new prize. He'd been wanting to do something like that for the longest time, and now, his revenge was in action. Just seeing Sasuke go down might've been enough, but he still had places to go, Sasuke's reputation to destroy.

After tying Sasuke up, Naruto pulled out a little shot. He'd prepared it earlier, to make sure that Sasuke slept for at least three hours. "Nighty night, emo-teme." Naruto hummed as he finished injecting it.

Ino was staring off into space, dreaming of Sasuke again. Shikamaru couldn't understand how any could dream about anything for so long. It wasn't like looking at clouds, which constantly changed. That he could understand, but a person, no way.

He glanced back to the building Sasuke had entered. He was probably the only one to notice, but Naruto had entered just moments before Sasuke had come. He had a good feeling that he was up to no good.

"Oh, it's Sasuke-kun!" Ino yelled, waving towards one of the windows. Shikamaru would've brushed it off, were it not for a movement in the corner of his vision.

Sasuke was waving back.

He rubbed his eyes, and looked over at the building again. Sasuke was still there, and still waving. That's it, I'm losing it. He thought, as Sasuke jumped over to their building. Choji stood in the background, eating his chips.

"Hey Ino." Sasuke said, hanging from the railing. Choji paused in his chip eating before continuing, and Shikamaru's mind had shut down. Sasuke was talking to Ino…in a romantic, lover voice.

"Who are you and what have you done with Sasuke?" Shikamaru asked, looking him over.

Sasuke glanced at Shikamaru before giving him a light smile. "I am Sasuke, Shikamaru." He then snapped his fingers. "Oh, before I forget, Naruto wanted me to give you something." He quickly pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to him

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. Sasuke wasn't the sort of person who would just run any sort of task without any questions. He could be getting paid, but he had more than enough money. So what sort of motivation could Naruto use to get Sasuke to do something for him? Sighing, Shikamaru opened the letter.

Hey Shikamaru, it's me, Naruto. Look up for a surprise!

Shikamaru glanced up, and felt his jaw drop. Sasuke was making out with Ino, his most d fan. And in the middle of daylight. But the fact that Naruto knew this would happen meant…no, it couldn't

Shikamaru glanced back to the letter, and continued reading.

I bet you didn't see that one coming, did you? I guess my acting skills are more than worth it. Ino won't know the difference, and if she doesn't, neither will Sakura!

I wish I could see Choji's expression, and you can tell him if you want. But what ever you do, don't let Ino read this! Burn it the first chance you get!

Thanks!

Naruto

Shikamaru sighed. So troublesome, and yet, entertaining. He thought, as he pocketed the letter for burning later. When he looked up, Sasuke was gone, Ino was grinning in aftershock, and Choji was in shock. He'd tell him later. After all, the fireworks were over, but the could still go off.

Sakura was beginning to feel miserable. Sasuke had ditched her. She'd hit Naruto, so he wouldn't want to talk to her. This was one of the rare times she wished she was still friends with Ino. She'd know how to have fun. She wished she wasn't so insecure about her forehead. It was just so, big.

"Hey." Sakura glanced up, and completely lost her breath.

Sasuke was standing under a Sakura tree, blossoms floating around him. He looked stunning. Maybe he'd come over, and say something like, 'your foreheads so big, I could just kiss it.

Cha! Just like the movies! Inner Sakura said, eyes gleaming.

Sasuke started towards her, a small smile on his face. "Sakura, your forehead is so big. I could just, kiss it." As her breath caught in her throat, he let out a little laugh. "I think I saw that on some movie."

Sakura blushed, and glanced away as Sasuke sat down next to her. She glanced over at him. "So…what do you want to talk about?"

"Naruto." Sasuke said, a small smile on his face. Sakura was a little surprised, but tried to shrug it off. So Sasuke wanted to hear more about Naruto, big deal. "He hangs around you a lot, so I was wondering if you thought to learn anything about him."

Sakura scoffed. "Well, he's annoying for one. Always pestering me for a date, or asking me to talk to him. Sometimes, I think he's trying to stalk me. Can you believe that?"

Sasuke shrugged. "I get fangirls following me all the time, so I understand where you're coming from. But really, that's where the difference ends."

Sakura straightened up. This might be useful information. "What do you mean Sasuke?"

"Well, Naruto is following you for your good qualities. You look good, are really smart, and very pretty pink hair." Sakura blushed. She was getting complimented by Sasuke. It was to good to be true. "But, he also over looks your bad qualities. You have a fierce temper, you have little ninja sense, and might get killed out in the field. And, you come after me single-mindedly. You don't even try to become a better ninja."

Sakura's head dropped. It was to good to be true. But then, she knew what he'd said was true. Maybe she should stop following Sasuke. But, Sasuke is my life. How would I survive without him?

"Sakura, I want you to promise me something." Sakura straightened up again. Was there hope? "I want you to stop chasing after me, and focus on your ninja skills. Become friends with Ino again, and prove you're worth in a fight. Then, when you're really strong, and I can recognize you as a strong kunochi, then you can chase me again. And who knows, you might just get me."

"But, but…"Sakura steeled herself. "Alright, I promise."

Sasuke grinned. "Good, now to seal the deal." He slowly began to lean forward.

Sakura suddenly felt her heart start racing. He was going to kiss her. Not Ino, not anyone else, her! Her inner self was cheering her on, and was waiting for the big moment. She quickly mimicked the motion. As they kissed, Inner Sakura was setting off fireworks, just like you might see in a movie.

After a moment, Sasuke broke away. "It's time for me to go now. You've promised me, don't disappoint me." He than proceeded to leap away.

Sakura just touched her lips, slowly tracing her fingers over them. She then let out a y squeal, and practically danced away.

Naruto released the Henge a few blocks away from where he'd kissed Sakura. After a few moments, he let out a loud, roaring laugh. "That was way too easy! Wait till Hokage-jiji hears about this!"

About half-way to the Hokage tower, Naruto noticed a white haired man sitting outside a bar. He wasn't moving, and Naruto felt the sudden need to investigate. He jumped over to him, and looked him over. He was old, probably a ninja, and probably a . Naruto sighed. He might as well see what the old fart had on him.

He quickly rummaged through his pockets. Judging by the fact that he had no money, he'd already been robbed. But Naruto already knew that there was more valuable things than money. After a moment, he found what he was looking for. "Bingo, scrolls galore!"

Naruto opened the first one, and was revolted. "Damn, you really like looking at , don't you? Don't worry, if anything else is worth it, I might not burn it…might."

Naruto opened another scroll. It was almost like the first, only in words. Naruto sighed. This guy was more than just any old , he was some sort of super ! He'd almost given up hope, when he opened the third scroll. "Hello, jackpot!"

Inside was a list of different elemental manipulations. He'd heard a little about them, but didn't realize that someone had written them down. This was one prize he couldn't resist. As he pocketed the scroll, and put the other two back, he gave the man a wave. "Thanks, sucker!"

x X x

Sarutobi glanced through the crystal ball. He was only looking at the kids who'd returned to the classroom, because if he tried to watch Naruto, all the Jonin in the room would get a glimpse into Naruto's manipulative mind. He sighed. He'd really wanted to see Naruto's plan in action. But it looked like he'd have to hear it from Naruto, instead of seeing it.

He discreetly glanced up. All of the sensei's were eagerly glancing over their new students. They were definitely interested in who they were getting. Well, everyone except Kakashi and his son. They were off in a corner, reading Icha Icha Paradise. Damn it, they're holding out on me

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. All eyes snapped towards it. Sarutobi put the crystal ball away, and all of the Jonin hid themselves around the room. "Come in!" Sarutobi said, getting a sinking feeling in his stomach. He couldn't be done early, could he?

"Hey! Hokage-jiji! Guess what!" Naruto yelled, as he ran into the room. Sarutobi almost slapped his face. If Naruto calmed down here, their whole plan would be ruined. But, there was a small glint in his eyes, one that made Sarutobi feel that something big was about to happen. Or at the very least, funny.

"Yes Naruto, what is it?" He noticed a small grin cross his face, and quickly became suspicious.

"Well, I finally know who my sensei will be!" Sarutobi nearly face-vaulted. That was his big news? He'd thought he'd already…

"Well, I see. Who is your sensei?" Sarutobi narrowed his eyes. Naruto was acting very weird. Normally he'd become calm when he'd enter the room. Unless…he could feel the Jonin's chakra? But, he only knew where they were because he'd seen them hide. Naruto hadn't gotten that skilled, had he?"

"Some old fart called Kakashi." Naruto said, scratching the back of his head. "Kurenai talked about him once, told me to avoid him at all cost."

Sarutobi raised an eyebrow. This would be an interesting conversation. "Really? And why is that?"

Naruto scratched his chin. "I think it was something about him being some kind of Icha Icha . That, and he always hides his face behind a mask!"

"Hm, I do know who Kakashi is. What do you want to know about him?"

"Well, what sort of person is he? I mean, if he's the sort of person who lies a lot, and is always late, I really need to know before I wait for him. Then, I could use the time to train! I could use the extra time to beat Sasuke!" Naruto's eyes caught fire, and he pumped his fist in the air.

By then, Sarutobi had gotten where he was coming from. He already knew this stuff about him, he was just trying to rub it in. The thing that clinched it, was the fact that Naruto had once told him that his rivalry with Sasuke was fabricated. He couldn't wait till Kakashi finally came out of hiding. "Hm, well…I don't know. Not many people try to complain about it. From personal experience, he isn't reliable, and late. If I were you, I'd try to transfer."

"No thanks Hokage-jiji! I think I'll be fine in the team I'm with." Naruto said, turning to leave. As he opened the door, he turned around. "Oh, and tell Anko she's still insane, and to give my regards to Ibiki. Getting ganged up by some Chunnin, and knocked out isn't fun."

A moment after Naruto had left, the Jonin came out of hiding. "I swear Kakashi, you must've drawn the short end of the stick."

"Hm, well at least I know my group will be interesting." Kakashi said, pulling out his book again.

Kurenai turned to Sarutobi. After glancing at each other for a moment, she sighed. "I guess it can't be helped. He's to smart for his own good."

"Kurenai-chan! Why did you corrupt that hunk?" Anko said, wrapping an arm around her.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't play dumb with me, I'm talking about Naruto!" Anko sighed. "He knows how to turn me on…and he's becoming more manly every day."

"No comment." Sarutobi said, pulling out the crystal ball again. "Now then, where were we?"

x X x

Naruto tried not to laugh. The Jonin were easier to find than most Anbu! Granted, Anbu was constantly hiding their chakra signatures, they were still easy. The only one he had a slight problem with was probably Kakashi.

Naruto glanced around. He couldn't see anyone around him, and he couldn't sense anyone else around. Making a few handsigns, he slammed his hands into the ground. He'd set up a series of 'portals', around the village. After all, he couldn't go to the waterfall entrance every time he wanted to train.

As he fell through the ground, Naruto closed his eyes. He couldn't help it, he love the feeling of falling. That feeling, that you are falling to fast, from to far a height, perfect. Of course, the other reason was that there wasn't anything to look at.

After a moment, he finally hit the floor. He got up, and dusted himself off. "Now then, I've got some time to kill. Let's see what I can do to kill time."

Author's Notes:

Sorry it took so long, my computer crashed, and I lost a Beta Reader. T.T

But here it is, the end of the 5th Chapter! And just so you know, this won't be a NaruSaku fic. I don't like it, but messing with her is always fun!

And this is yet another call for pairings. And not just Naruto pairings, I want to see all kinds of pairings! So please, review!