Chapter Seven: Healing
Flashback: on the island, a month after Kate lost the baby, in Jack's tent:
His bare body felt warm but firm against hers, this had been their first time making love since she had lost the baby. Kate closed her eyes, pressing her nose against his neck as she whispered tenderly into his ear, 'I love you,' she sounded breathless, mostly because she was. Jack had been gentle with her tonight and she appreciated that.
She felt his warm muscular arms tighten their hold around her, his hands were placed at the small of her back, supporting her, completely drained and exhausted from their passionate night, Kate pulled away from him. She leaned back onto the bed space, Jack joined her as she rested her head on his chest, Jack stared up at the tent ceiling. Kate could feel his chest rise and fall softly, she whispered, 'Jack...?'
Jack glanced down at her as he smiled contently, 'yeah?'
Kate felt her cheeks burning red as his eyes searched hers, making her feel exposed and vulnerable.
She pulled the blanket over them, resting her head on his shoulder, she asked him softly, 'Do you miss home?'
Jack studied her, she was referring to L.A, to the world in which Aaron was Kate's first and main responsibility, and Jack rarely saw her.
'I don't know.'
Kate nodded softly, 'Did you see the way everyone was looking at me when Sawyer died...?' Her voice turned heavy, under the pressure of guilt. 'Should I have told him I loved him?'
Jack didn't reply for a moment, he turned on his side so he was facing her, he propped his head up with his hand, as he leaned on his elbow, Kate's eyes drifted to the tattoos on his arm, she traced them with her hand.
Jack knew she felt guilty about not being able to lie to Sawyer, he asked her gently, 'what do you think?'
Kate glanced up at Jack, 'Honestly?' Jack nodded as his eyes took in her beautiful features as the soft rays of moonlight that had crept in from the tent entrance lit the tent.
'I don't know.' She replied, her voice sounded distant, she lay flat on her back now as she stared up at the tent ceiling. They both fell silent. They knew having sex on the island was not a good idea after everything that had happened, but they hadn't been able to help themselves, when Kate walked into his tent this evening, he had no intention of sleeping with her. But as it always was with them, one look led to another, which led to something more.
Jack studied at her admiringly, Kate felt his eyes on her, she threw him a sweet smile as she asked, 'what?'
Jack shook his head, 'nothing...'
Kate grinned as she blushed, he always said it was nothing when he was caught gazing at her.
Jack leaned over to her, kissing her softly.
Kate glanced up at him, 'do you think what we have will work back home?'
Jack replied without hesitating, 'yeah. It will.'
Kate studied him, 'what'll be different this time?'
Jack smiled softly, 'Come on Kate, Aaron will be with Claire, and it'll just be you and me, the way it should be.'
Kate's smile faded, she wrapped the blanket around her shoulders, Jack studied her, 'Kate?'
He felt a pang of annoyance as he realised what she was doing, she was pulling away, emotionally and physically. She began to gather her clothes, Jack frowned at her, 'What're you doing?'
Kate looked at him, 'I know you didn't want our baby Jack-but you don't have to remind me all the time.'
Jack stared at her, 'what're you talking about?'
Kate challengingly held his gaze, 'If I was still pregnant, you wouldn't want to be with me would you?'
Jack carefully answered, 'but you're not pregnant anymore.'
Kate felt sick with guilt and shame as she hurried out of his tent, holding her clothes and the blanket around her shoulders, Jack climbed to his feet, he pulled on his jeans.
'Kate...?'
Kate headed straight for her tent, not wanting to face him. She hated that deep down, neither of them had wanted the baby, and seeing Jack's reluctance only reminded her of her reluctance, she had lost her own child. Maybe if she had cared more, maybe if she had actually wanted it, she wouldn't have been so careless with its life. By blaming Jack, she was transferring her guilt to him. He was stronger than her, he could handle it. She already hated herself enough as it was, having the scars of her mistake resting on her shoulders was the last thing she needed. Guilt was the last thing she needed.
End Flashback:
At the hospital:
Jack strolled through the corridor at work, he was blissfully unaware of the usual havoc around him. He had been smiling all morning, and the reason for that, was Kate.
He slowed down as he approached his office, the blinds were shut. He frowned, was someone inside?
He slowly turned the door handle, Lyla dropped a pile of files as she heard the door open. Jack stared at her, 'what're you doing?' She looked from the filing cabinet to the files in her hands.
'I was just...'
Jack stormed towards her, furious, he grabbed the files from her. Those were the medical files of the members of the oceanic 6, no one was allowed to access them except for Jack, and if it was an emergency, the chief of medicine.
Lyla shook her head, 'its not what you think?'
'Isn't it? Weren't you taking files that you aren't authorised to view?'
On realising she wouldn't be getting his sympathy, she short him a scowl, 'Why're you secretive? I'm your FRIEND Jack-I know your not allowed to tell me-but, don't you trust me?'
Jack studied her as several responses rushed through his mind.
With the truth about what was going on? No.
With what had happened on the island? No.
With the identities and medical histories of the survivors of flight815? No.
With Kate and Aaron? No Way.
Jack shook his head, not answering the question, he glared at her, 'how did you get into the cabinet?'
Lyla frowned at him, Jack grabbed her wrist, 'ANSWER ME!'
Lyla flinched, surprised by his aggressive attitude, she tossed a pair of keys at him, 'I stole them from my father-! Get off of me!'
Jack let go of her wrist, Lyla seethed at him, 'why're you so protective of Kate and Aaron? Why do you keep them tucked away from sight?'
'I don't KEEP them anywhere.'
Lyla stared at him, 'do you still love her? Because you know that would alter the judge's decision on your credibility as a witness on her trial-'
'This is none of your business.'
Lyla scoffed at him, Jack shook his head, she didn't understand the danger she was putting herself in by pursuing this.
'Lyla, listen to me-it's not safe-'
'Why not?'
'I can't tell you-'
Lyla smirked, 'then I'm gonna keep searching until I find evidence-'
Jack sighed, 'evidence of what?! Will you listen to yourself?'
Lyla glared at him, 'evidence that shows you're not the hero everyone thinks you are-' Jack froze in his steps as she continued, 'I mean what the HELL Jack? You never told me you were with Kate-we had a one night stand two months ago-and you've been seeing her on the side all this time?!'
Jack groaned, 'Lyla-we were both drunk that night-we talked about this-'
Lyla ignored him as she continued, 'And I'm gonna show the world she's not his mother-how understanding do you think the judge will be of that?!'
Jack stared at her, 'leave her out of this.'
Lyla smiled sadly, 'I can't.'
Jack studied her, 'why not?'
'Because you chose her over me. And I need to understand why...I'm a doctor-she's a murderer-she has a son, You don't even want kids-you're incompatible on so many levels-'
Jack glared at her, 'the only thing you and I have in common-is our drinking problem!'
Lyla fell silent, that hurt.
'No, no, you have feelings for me.'
Jack shook his head, 'No Lyla, I don't-'
Lyla studied him, she wasn't about to drop this.
Lyla studied him, 'when you come to your senses and realise that all she does is hurt you...come find me.'
Jack suddenly regretted spending that drunken night with Lyla, the night he had told her how much love hurt, how much love tore his world apart.
Jack watched her walk out of his office, he turned back to the files in his hands. There was a page missing from Kate and Aaron's files, Jack felt alarm bells go off in his mind.
Shit.
Jack ran out of his office, he peered down the hallway-which way had Lyla gone...??
His cellphone vibrated, Jack pulled it out of his pocket and checked who was calling.
It was Kate, he flipped it open and put it to his ear as his eyes searched the busy hallway...
'Hey...'
Kate's voice sounded warm, 'hey, you kinda rushed off this morning...I didn't get to say goodbye...'
'Yeah, sorry about that, I made pancakes, we saved you some.'
Kate sounded like she was smiling, 'yeah, they were um...different...'
Jack frowned, 'you just don't recognise talent when you taste it.'
Kate laughed, 'I just rang to say thanks for getting Aaron dressed and ready this morning.'
'Your welcome.'
'Call me after work, okay?'
Jack nodded as he noticed Lyla walk into the locker room, he sounded distant as he replied, 'yeah, yeah, I will.'
There was an awkward pause, Kate pondered if either of them were ready to say 'I love you' as couples did when they hung up on eachother.
Jack's voice sounded hurried as he mumbled, 'Kate-I'm kinda in the middle of something-I gotta go-'
'Okay, bye Jack.'
Kate waited for him to say goodbye, but he hung up. Kate furrowed her brow, what was that about?
In the hospital:
Lyla walked into the changing rooms, her mind was racing, she had Kate and Aaron's bloodtest results, she had taken them from the file but hadn't read them yet. She was torn between finding the truth or being true to Jack. After Jack had told her he didn't have any feelings for her, she was definitely leaning towards discovering the truth.
She reached into her lab-coat pocket, her fingers searched for the folded pieces of paper. Jack walked into the changing rooms, he was fuming.
'Where are they?' he asked bluntly.
'Where are what...?'
Jack gritted his teeth, 'where ARE they Lyla?! Their blood test results!'
Lyla stepped back, shaking her head, 'I don't know what your talking about-'
Jack grabbed her lab-coat, he roughly pushed her away as he pulled the lab-coat off her, Lyla turned around, she grabbed his arm as he pulled out the papers she had stolen from the files. He gave her a disappointed look, Lyla reached for them-
'Give me those!'
Jack glared at her, with a single hand, he grabbed her arm, pulling her close, he warned her in a low voice, 'This is for your own good. I'm protecting you. You don't want the truth Lyla, unless you're ready for the consequences.'
Lyla felt her pulse returning to normal as she caught her breath, she shrugged Jack off her, they stood in silence.
Lyla studied him, 'I can handle the consequences.'
Jack looked at her, 'Lyla, you have no idea what you're getting yourself into-A lot of very powerful people will not be happy if this gets leaked...' he sighed, trying a softer approach, 'keep out of this, please...for me?'
Lyla studied him, her heart began to melt as her defences weakened, she gazed a him. She didn't understand if her feelings for him were just an obsession or a drug. But she was attracted to him and she couldn't help it. He had helped her stop drinking, instead of turning to alcohol, they had been eachother's strength and supported eachother through their darker days at work. It was only three months to him, but to her it was a reason to live.
Lyla looked vulnerable as she asked him gently, 'when you said you had no feelings for me, was it true?'
Jack's heart lurched in his chest as he gazed at the tragic beauty, 'Lyla...' he shook his head, 'I care about you, but I love Kate...'
Lyla felt her heart writhe in her chest, she kept her cool as she studied him, 'but you're attracted to me...'
Jack held her gaze, 'you're beautiful Lyla, you are, but...'
Lyla shook her head, 'No, no buts,' she tiptoed, kissing him deeply. Jack let her kiss him, Lyla was unstable and the last thing he needed was for her to have a reason to use Kate against him.
Lyla pulled away, she stroked his cheek, 'If it wasn't for you Jack...I would have given up a long time ago.'
Jack felt his throat tighten...he nervously asked, 'Give up on what?'
Lyla smiled sadly, 'on life.'
Jack stared at her. Lyla was suicidal...? He had always sensed a darkness in her when they had first met, it was the main reason he connected with her. With nothing more to say, Jack turned and headed for the door.
Lyla called after him, 'Is that it?'
Jack glanced back at Lyla, he gave her a sorrowful look before leaving her alone in the room.
Lyla leant back against the locker as it hit her, Jack really was in love with Kate. Not her, but Kate. She felt a burning emotion fill her heart, was it jealousy? Jack was her anchor, he was all she had. She couldn't lose him to some ex-felon...she wouldn't lose him to some ex-felon.
She stared at her lab-coat as it lay on the floor.
End chapter Seven: