Thanks for all the reviews and ideas

Thanks for all the reviews and ideas! I'm going to try to use all of them, in a completely random order… and through in random twists. Oh, and make Firepaw the best cat in the forest. FIREPAW, GO AWAY! STOP HYPNOTIZING ME!! He is REALLY annoying! )

Lefy

Thunderclan warily opened the taxi door to find….

The ants going marching one by one Yahoo! Yahoo

The ants are marching one by one on ! YAHOO!

They're carrying all of Sandpaw's stuff and tossing it off a cliff

"NOOOOO!!" Sandpaw screeched

"I"LL SAVE YOUR STUFF, SANDPAW!!" Firepaw yowled. And he did! He somehow stepped on all the ants at one time and killed them; Bluestar honored him by making him a warrior, Fireflames, and giving him an apprentice, who was created just for that purpose, Kitkit, now known as Kitpaw. Then, she made Lionheart and herself retire for a moon, and making Fireflames the leader for the time she was an elder.

"Firepaw!" I scolded. "You're being too dramatic!"

"Oh, I know. And I'm FIREFLAMES now. Get it right." FireFLAMES said scornfully

"You do realize that I'm going to go back in time and change what you did?" I asked, sure that he wouldn't be able to answer back

"Yep! But I fixed your computer so that you can't delete the words that you have, are and will type, so therefore, my extra 4.5 lives will stay with me!"

"4.5 lives?"

"Well, since I'm not really a leader, Starclan gave me half of what a leader would get…." Fireflames said proudly.

"Oh… then I'll kill you 4.5 times…"

"Can't" Fireflames said cockily, "Then you won't have someone to talk to…"

"But you'll still have your original life and not the ones Starclan added on!"

"Sorry, what'd ya say? Oh never mind… Sandysand is waiting for me!"

"Sandysand…?"

"Yup! I made Sandpaw a warrior. "Ysand" is the suffix I added!"

"You're horrible…"

Before Firepaw took over my mind

"NOOOOO!!" Sandpaw screeched. It was too late. Sandpaw's stuff had been thrown off "The Cliff of The Buttered Toast of DOOOM". But amazingly, none of the stuff broke. The buttered toast cushioned everything… Of course, everything was a little buttery afterwards. But THEN…

"SHADOWCLAN IS ATTACKING!! SHADOWCLAN IS ATTACKING!!" The yowl sounded through the Thunderclan camp. They had gotten themselves, and Sandpaw's stuff minutes before. And now this?

"Oh no!" Spottedleaf said cheerfully to Lionheart "We get to die now! Remember what Starclan told us?"

"Yay! I've been waiting for this for AGES!" Lionheart said, with equal enthusiasm. "I'm only sorry I have to leave my precious lions behind… Starclan isn't allowing them to enter their territory… Even though they have a perfectly good heart. The ones inside of them and the heart that they're locked up in…"Lionheart looked a little disappointed.

"Oh! Whoops! Here comes Clawface…." Spottedleaf walked up to Clawface and hit him on the nose.

"What was that for," the Shadowclan tom asked, rubbing his nose, looking at Spottedleaf with anger.

"Well, one, this is a battle! We're enemies! Plus, you're going to kill me in…um… right now!" Spottedleaf said, still filled with euphoria.

"Oh." Clawface looked puzzled. "How should I do it?"

"Drop a nuclear bomb on me," Spottedleaf suggested.

"No, that'd kill me too… I know!!" Clawface's eyes lit up as he had his idea. He dropped bleach on Spottedleaf and washed her spots away.

"NO!! NOT MY PRETTY SPOTS!!" Spottedleaf started writhing with embarrassment and in her own personal distaste of her new white pelt. She accidentally rolled over the "Kill Whoever Presses This Button" button, conveniently put there by yours truly, and killed herself.

"Well, that was easy" Clawface muttered. He turned around to face Lionheart.

"Do you want me to kill you too?" Clawface asked politely.

"Well, since Starclan said I had to die… But I don't want to die in battle. Let's go to "The Cliff of The Buttered Toast of DOOOM" and you can push me off. Okay?" Lionheart was happily walking to his death

"SURE!!" Clawface mewed ecstatically. So they did. Unfortunately, Sandpaw's stuff had weakened the toast… so Lionheart fell right through it and into… THE CHCOLATE BEACH OF NEFARIOUS HAPPENINGS where he was woken up by a pig.

"My name's Bobb-itty Bob Bo Bob. What's yours?" Bobb-itty Bob Bo Bob said, snorting. Lionheart looked around.

"We're not in Thunderclan anymore, are we Bobb-itty Bob Bo Bob?"

"Thunderclan? We're in THE CHOCOLATE BEACH OF NEFARIOUS HAPPENINGS!!"

"Um… okay…"

"OH LOOK IT'S THE PIG-EATING PENGUINS OF MISERY!!" Bobb-itty Bob Bo Bob yelled, still grunting whenever he spoke.

"Hi!" one of the Pig-Eating Penguins of Misery called, "We're here to eat you, Bobb-itty Bob Bo Bob!"

"Great! Oh, wait; no that's not what I'm supposed to say… OH NO!! SOMEBODY SAVE ME!!" Bobb-itty Bob Bo Bob screamed as the Pig-Eating Penguins of Misery tore into his flesh.

"Interesting…" Lionheart commented as he watched the gruesome scene before him.

Somehow, I worked all the ideas in. I have too much time on my hands... This isn't a cliffie, so Firepaw, you can stop running away from the "dog". I may update later today... If not tomorrow... If not then, then next week... If not then, then 30 years from now...