Chapter 22: Emotionless
It had been a month now and grace and I were getting all preggers I Was way smaller then her, poor girl she was already getting big but if you looked at my brother you wouldn't be surprised his baby would be big.
I was waiting with grace at the airport for the boys I smiled seeing randy and Dave along with john behind him he walked up to my looking exhausted hugging me I smiled lightly giving him a kiss as we went to get their luggage, randy got in the drivers seat of my car as all of us drove to mine and Randy's house.
We were all talking and goofing around when we pulled up we saw my mom and some guy sitting on the porch with her I looked at Dave and saw nothing but pure hatred and anger in his eyes.
I slowly got out of the car and Dave put me behind him as him and randy walked onto the porch Dave looked at our mom
"What the fuck is he doing here?" Dave asked through gritted teeth, I put my hand on Daves arm hoping he would remember I was behind him still confused as to who this man was.
"He came to my house looking for you guys and you guys deserve something from him so I brought him here I knew the girls were picking you guys up"
I came around from behind Dave looking at this man, I looked a little like him, he had red hair and my nose I was confused randy came and put his arm around me protectively.
"Who is this?" I asked
My mom sighed knowing I was going to flip out when she told me "sweetie this your farther" my eyes got huge as I felt anger run through out my body
"What the hell are you doing here? Get the fuck away from my house" I said through gritted teeth.
"Samantha I know you guys are angry just let me explain"
I glared at him "explain what how you abandon us? Hell I didn't even know who you were how fucking sad is that?" I said
He looked at me and Dave and sighed "can we not make a scene im sure you boyfriend wouldn't like his niebors seeing this" he said looking at randy
I looked at randy "I don't want him in our home he goes in there and I swear I will leave"
Randy pulled me to him looking at my farther shaking his head no "No we can sit on the porch but my girlfriend don't want you in our home so sorry"
We all walked to the porch I sat next to randy, john was confused he leaned over to randy whispering "I didn't think they had a dad"
Randy flicked him in his head rolling his eyes
Dave glared at him "so what are your reasons"
Our dad sighed "I know no matter what I say you guys are still going to hate me, he sighed when I left you guys I wasn't in a good place I was drinking and doing drugs and hitting on your mom and Dave a few times, Sam you were just a baby and I was afraid I was going to hurt you so I had to go get myself clean and some counseling"
I glared at him "So it took you all these years to get clean? Bullshit lee" I said calling him by his first name I rolled my eyes.
He just nodded looking at Dave "You know it kills me we don't ever talk, you're my only daughter and you're my only son"
"Yea well it doesn't bother me" Dave said coldly to him
Lee stood up nodding his head "I got to get going, I'll be around now your mom has my number I hope to hear from you two someday, and I am sorry" he walked away into his truck driving of, our mom looked at us shaking her head.
"I got to get going I'll talk to you guys later she looked at me and grace take care of my grand babies" she drove off, I blew out the breath I didn't realized I was holding in.
Randy looked at me "are you ok?" he asked
I just nodded my head yes "Im hungry want to go out to eat?" I asked everyone they just nodded yes as we got back in the car going to a restaurant.
Randy and I were home alone now I was laying down watching TV when randy came in looking at me, I looked at him trying to smile
"What's on your mind babe?" Randy asked laying on the bed next to my stomach looking at me.
I sighed putting my hand on my stomach "what if im like him randy?"
He sighed moving up next to me putting his arm around my shoulders "your not baby I promise you your not, you've been through so much in your life and you stood tall and strong you didn't run away and not come back"
I just nodded my head randy made me look at him and looked right in my eyes "if I thought in any way you were anything like that man I wouldn't be with you"
I smiled a little as randy came down kissing me, making me moan, we ended up having sex off and on all night.
The next day randy and were just hanging out together I was tracing his tattoo on his arm his arm band one, he looked at me smiling he leaned down kissing me and then stood up.
A few minutes later he came back and told me to close my eyes, I looked at him weirdly as I did what he asked I few minutes later I felt something being tied around my finger "Okay open" he told me I opened my eyes seeing a string tied on his finger and on mine and in the middle was a ring, I looked at him weirdly
"Baby do you need meds?" I asked him smiling
He smiled "no baby I don't, my whole life I said if I ever got married it would be with someone I couldn't live without, without them I couldn't breath, they would be like my life line, well this string represents my life line, so im asking you, would you be my life line for the rest of our lives?" he slip the ring to the tip of my finger looking at me, I smiled feeling tears coming, damn hormones!
"Yes randy I will" I told him after a few minutes he put the ring on my finger and kissed me he untied the string as we slowly undressed each other and he made love to me for a good two hours.
I sighed watching randy sleep I kissed him on his cheek and got out of bed I had called my mom to tell and get a number from her, lees I was going to meet him at my bar I worked at.
I slipped out and went into the bar I saw him sitting in the back corner I sighed sitting down across from him I swolled my pride "Its been a long time I didn't even know who I always wondered if you thought about your son or if you missed your little girl, I always wanted to ask you how we felt about that, how you happy out there? When you go to sleep how do you sleep? did you ever once wonder if we were okay Lee? I felt the tears coming as I asked all these questions at once you know we all been through hell our whole lives and you have a huge part of blame there for it, why weren't there when we was going hungry? You don't know how many days I spent cold and hungry and I hate you for it, there's things I'll take to my grave, but we're okay now mom is ok me and Dave are starting our own families so please just don't hurt us any more, I just came here to tell you that I don't hate you and I forgive you"
I sat there for what felt like five minutes without him saying anything just staring at me I rolled my eyes getting up and started to walk away.
"I can only imagine you wondered about me as much as I did you which was everyday Samantha all day I thought about you guys, I thought about Dave constaly and missed you like crazy, and to answer one of your questions no im not happy and I haven't been since the day I walked out that door on my family, and I constaly wondered if you guys were ok, I take full blame for you guys going through hell if I had been there you guys wouldn't of gone through it, I remember about six years ago I drove down your street to see you and I saw you standing in the drive way with some guy looked like a punk to me but I parked by that tree by the fence and watched you until you noticed you looked really happy the guy was swinging you around it was the guy your with now that kid that was always around before I left"
I stopped listing to him I turned around "Yea that's randy my fiancé and babies daddy" I told him as I walked out of the bar and drove home I felt like I got a load of, I walked in the door and saw randy passing
"No she's here bye Dave"
He looked at me "where were you baby I was worried"
I smiled walking to him and hugging him "I went and talked to lee"
He just nodded his head hugging me back, this was my place and I knew I wouldn't walk away from it for anything in this world.