Disclaimer: Never have I owned KH...
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Chapter Six: Sora is, the Big Kahuna...
And now, our most amazing yet so freaking hilarious story continues! Why? Because we demand it so, that's why. We demand a lot of things if you haven't noticed. That's just because we're just that awesome. Yeah, that's right, unlike that guy over there who's making out with a hairdryer, I'm just that awesome. I have the power to say such things because I AM the Princess of chap stick and I DO rule with an iron sharpie while controlling my army of giant gummy bears and squirrels to do my evil bidding. You just wish that you could do it like me! So put that in your juice box and SUCK IT.
I'm just picking, you know I luffles you guys like family. Especially you with the hair, yeah you; you know your name. You're the person with the face, Le gasp! Okay, ANYWAYS, moving on. Now, back to the story. By this point in time, Namine was following Kairi out of her bed room door, lightly sighing to the whole situation before she had flicked her blue hues up at the sound of something slamming against the wall. Blinking a few times to the sudden infliction of audio, the blonde tilted her head some before instantly glancing over to the Princess of Heart; giving a confused expression.
Being a little afraid to even know what had caused the source of such a loud thump, she cleared her throat before taking a step closer to the brunette female; bringing her right hand up to her chest while she stood there utterly lost. Well, after everything that has happened tonight, lost would be an understatement so she's just going along with it. Is that okay with you? Okay good. And as I was saying, yes, this sound was an extremely loud noise because I don't think you're grasping the concept here! Squee, you may now proceed to insert another explanation point here.
Let me break it down for you now. I mean, think about it. Those freaking castle walls are like uber thick okay, and if something was to be loud enough for it to even be heard on the other side, it has to be loud as hell. I'm talking about your most favorite of all favorites' band concert-blaring type of loud while you're standing right in front of the speakers. Your hair and the flesh upon your face being blown by back the force of all that is loud and BAAH. Well, maybe not that loud but still, it was a pretty freaking big ass noise.
So as I was saying, in a world, like no other.. Sora is; the Big Kahuna. Who had, no wait, Sora's not even in this chapter so what am I talking about?! Or is he? Dun dun DUN. Other wise known as, duwfin; Pam Jutsu. And yes, we're talking about the cooking spray. Mix all that up in an green polka dotted clothes hamper while having dust crumblies all up in your salad of peperoni and mustard with a marshmallow on top and you have a tea party from hell. Alright right! Dude, since we're on the subject of marshmallows, according to Piglet from Winnie the Pooh, it's impolite to lick someone else's marshmallow. So like, I have a question. What if you're really hungry and their mellow looks so much more satisfying then your own?! Obviously life has tough choices, and my mom told me to always make good choices but, GOOD CHOICES BURN! So lick that marshmallow, stop crying over Tony the Tiger peeing in your Cheerios, get a life and stare at the sun. Speaking of staring at the sun, the sun was looking at me through my window this morning; I'm blind now thanks to it! It was saying wakie wakie bitch, I'm going to burn your white ass to a crisp chica. And yes, obviously the sun speaks Spanish now. I just thought I would let you know that before I continued on with my amazing story.
So as I was saying, while the Memory Witch and the female Keyblader stood awaiting to see what had caused such a loud collision into the wall, Luxord and Cid came marching out of Luxords' room. Please don't ask why Cid's there, he just is, because I, myself, don't even know how he got into the story. And I'm even the Narrator here too. Haha, Hinata says that she pulled him outta her ass; so yeah, that's how he got into the story. Now, since that's cleared up, I'll get back to narrating. Well, as the two drunkards made their way out of the Brit's bedroom, the two men were singing 'Dude looks like a lady'. Very loudly and very off key I might add while they laughed at absolutely nothing. Namine just stood there staring at the two older men, tilting her head in a confused way before she started to take an even closer step to her other self; going to hide behind Kairi while the fellow female looked dumbfounded at the sight in front of her before bursting out in laughter. Namine had looked over to whisper something in Kairi's ear; only to her dismay, she found the brunette no longer there. Slightly panicking that she had lost her counter part, the blonde teenager started looking around fanatically to try and find the girl. Only to blink out at the sight her blue hues fell upon as an annoyed expression crossed her cute features.
Just standing there staring at the brunette, Namine let a long exhale pass her pink lips; pushing her face into the palms of her hands while she sighed at her friend. Kairi had went over to the men and had started doing her own little chibi dance while singing along with the drunken fools. Dancing almost the way you would see adorable little chibi characters who are dancing to either the Numa Numa song or the Caramelldansen tune. So cute! Though, when you're in the middle of a 'mission' as Kairi had liked to call it, this was no time to shake your booty. Letting her hands fall from her face now, the witch blinked again, using her left hand to tuck her blonde tresses behind her ear before she averted her crystal orbs to the floor; letting Kairi have her fun while the Special Nobody leaned back to let her body rest against the castles' wall near her bedroom door. Then, all of a sudden, as if she had just realized what she was doing, the brunette stopped in all action; having a small blush cross her cheeks before she tugged at her school uniform to fix the wrinkles she had acquired during her spontaneous movements.
"Okay, I did not just do that..."
The Keyblader had spoken through a panting inhale, looking to Namine who was now staring at the girl like she had lost her freaking mind. Trying to hold back a giggle, the blonde covered her mouth before Kairi had started laughing herself, causing the Nobody to lose it while she laughed at her crazy friend. Gently shaking her head, the manipulator of memories then moved from the wall in order to go over to Kairi's side, looking up at the two men before she quirked a curious brow. Kairi on the other hand was too busy trying to re-fix her hair and outfit to even notice that the three blondes were talking amongst one another; completely leaving her out of the conversation since it seemed she really wasn't interested in the first place. Namine attempted to grab Cid's attention, trying to talk above their horrible singing voices while an astonishment crossed her face. These two knew one another?!
"Cid why are you here hanging out with ...Luxord?"
"That, that! Dude looks like a lady! That, that! Dude looks like a la- Huh? Well shit fire, he's been my drinking buddy for years!"
Apparently 'Dude looks like a lady' is their theme song if you're wondering. And I don't even want to know what the loud thump was so we'll just move on. I'll be nice and let you use your own imagination on that one. Okay, so once the female was close enough to the men, she could smell the alcohol off their breath which was absolutely gross. Though, as if that wasn't bad enough, Namine was also forced to look at the two while they were dressed in unusual costumes. Hold up! What in the hell are those two up to anyways? Did they lose a bet during the strip poker game or something? Wait, Cid wasn't even at the game earlier, so then why was he standing there wearing a Mexican hat that says 'We grande size here', in a taco suit while wooden Switzerland type clogs were adorned upon his feet.
In all honesty, I really don't want to know why he was wearing a taco suit, possibly because I'm hungry right now so we'll just move on to what number X is wearing. Not that he was any better. Actually, I think I'd rather put up with Cid because Luxord was in a pair of powder blue whitie tighties and nothing else. So in other words, he's basically half naked. Ewww, the naked Brit mo'fo! And what did I just tell you! I think I would rather put up with the drunk taco then that any day!
"Yeehaw! Let's get this show on the road!"
After the Al Bhed had, unfortunately, yelled his words at the top of his lungs which almost burst the girl's ear drums, he started making his way back towards the kitchen. His 'yeehaw' making him sound like a red neck as he carried something black in his right hand. Luxord just followed the other male, flaunting his stuff down the hall way like he was God's gift to women; scratching at his blonde goatee before crossing his arms over his chest as he disappeared around the corner and out of the female's sights. As much as I would love to say that the two girls forget all of this ever happened and had continued on towards the bathroom Marluxia always uses, they just couldn't. Well, more like Kairi couldn't, and thus, she was about to drag Namine along for the ride. Curiosity had gotten the better of her, and she just had to see what those two were up to; not to mention that the prank could wait a few seconds while they figured out what was going on before going to follow through with their plans.
Reaching around, the brunette grabbed onto the forearm of a very confused, yet so innocent Namine, and managed to tug her along down the hallway until the two had reached the kitchen doors again. Only now did the female release the other while she slowly peeked her head around the corner, finding... bum bum BUM. What did she find?! Hinata having fights with herself in my mirror?! Xemnas ridding Vexen around in his lap on a little red tricycle?! Or maybe, something more horrible and slightly disturbing then that. This coming up next in the latest chapter of, Once Upon a Fairytaco of Humor. You know the suspense is killing you; bwahaha.
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(( A/N: Okay, Chapter Seven is already typed up and ready to be posted. BUT! Hinata and I have decided that, until Once Upon a Fairytaco of Humor gets at least five reviews, no updating. Evil? Yes, yes we are. Although, Chapter Six was a bit short, that was only because we had taken Chapter Six and chopped it in half to make the longer half Chapter Seven since it was so freaking long. Also, if you're wondering about the taco and all that, man, we are wanting some Taco Bell like crazy right now! -Le sniffle.- This being the reason why it had worked it's way into the story, heh. ))