Author's note :

First i'd like to thank newguy22 for the interesting review (and following PM). read, review, AND react ! so great ! keep it up !

Huuuuge chapter this time - but it allows me to give it one of those nice rounded perty ends i like so much.
Also : Argg ! writing comedy is the hardest thing EVA. sounds fun in your head, but out to word it fun ? hopefully put it through, but that was bitter work. if you have any ideas to improve, go on and tell me please.

thought about putting 'da major deed which you still know nothing about but that is so important" in the end of this chapter. Really did. That's a sore spot. But that would have changed the way the story flows so far, maybe been a bit unrealistic, don't know. it would have gained some 'weight, impact' on one side, but lost the significant character achievement on the other side. anyway.

writing things directly in english is hard. sorry if that's not perfect (i might have made up a couple verbs teehee just like in the last 4 chapters)

On the background and searches : same as chp 10. (pure historical fact at the beginning, unplugged. edited later off)

You never grow accustomed, that's not true

You never grow accustomed, that's not true.

But you have to do with it, it's not going away, so you learn to bear it anyway. You find an alternative, you find a spot in your self to store your anger and frustrations, and you try to keep it at bay.
That's why it feels good to blow off some steam from times to times.

Occasionally, literally. My firebending had never seemed so reliving, so distressing, so fuelled with power and life than in this world of snow and white coldness.

I felt I was alive, but even more so, gifted, chosen. That was a close call to addictive.

I guess every kind of power is.
The tough thing is, power doesn't come with an instruction book.

Me and the men placed under my command caught a boy once, eight years old or so, vandalizing a propaganda poster. This was not very clever : it was clear daylight, on a large street. The kid was conscientiously adding an upper right trait to the shoulder of each kanji meaning "great", turning them by this simple gesture into "dog" kanjis.
The big headline of the poster, "proclamation from the Great Fire Nation's Armies", should then be read "proclamation from the Fire Nation's Armies of dogs ".

A handful of other "great" had been changed, giving some "empire of dogs", "the dog leading the fire nation", and "showing a dog's patience toward the civilians".

This was clear disrespect, and mockery of the very own authority I represented.
Back in the Fire Nation, anything qualified as such would cost you the immediate loss of the part of your body that had sinned before your ancestors and the Fire Lord.
If you had criticized or libelled though talk, your tongue was cut out. If you had written ill of, damaged, or made fun of propaganda posters, you lost the hand which held the brush. You also got a nice burn mark in the back of your neck, courtesy of a searing brand, engraving your crime label into your skin. It was very painful. This marked you as dishonoured and unworthy, and that was not helpful with your social life.

If you did it twice, and since you already had been sanctioned of a limb with no better behaviour, you'd find yourself surrounded by hateful mob, kneeling on a makeshift stand to have your head chopped off. The executioner had to be very careful to cut in the middle line of the label-scar, so that both parts of the body stayed marked as dishonourable when the traitor would face Agni and his ancestors.

I knew the Laws of my country. And since I was the highest ranking soldier present at that moment, it was my duty to sentence the child.
Two of the five men around me seized the boy and forced him on his knees before me. He didn't put up a fight, he didn't even try to flee when they caught him, he just looked scared and clueless. I guessed the kid had probably never seen a public execution, less meant to take the risk of being a motive for one. He had nothing of a hardcore rebel. Most likely he had been fooling around and had thought he could make a good pun out of a sheet of paper. And that's how far he thought the story would go. Until we interrupted.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to !" he pleaded.
"Quiet you whelp !" I ordered back.
What a joke ! The child just called us dogs… But I had to put up some authority, and I was not very comfortable with the idea; that's the only thing that came to mind. Hopefully, my harsh tone and the kid being scared out of his mind would make up for it.
I believe it did, for I thought for a second the boy would break down in tears. That was the moment I should have drawn my sword and announced he'd have his hand cut. But frankly I was not eager. I looked at the faces of the men around me.

All eyes were already on me. Some kept a straight face, much like mine must have been, but I was not fooled. They stared at me with more fear than an indifferent soldier should. The soldier holding the boy's left arm was not even bothering to hide his concern. I think I saw the slightest shrug in his shoulders when I looked at him.

"Take him back to camp. There's a damp cell waiting for him there."
A couple of crisp smiles lightened up the soldiers' face, and we made our way to the base without a sound – except for the snow cracklings under our boots and the kid's shaking.
When we arrived, we found a quiet area in the prison, and the two soldiers threw him in a wooden cell. The child landed hard on his hands and lower legs. He straightened up and turned back at us with what he thought would be an angry look, but it seemed more like someone trying not to cry to me.

I said the men I'd handle this. I was very thankful for what had happened, but that's not something you can say. There was no need to anyway, it was obvious.
I let the boy brood over what had happened on his own for a while. I also figured he wouldn't die if he skipped a meal for once. He had to feel at least like grounded.
…No, seriously, it was a close one, let this be a lesson.

I wasn't on duty that night, so I went to an inn near the camp and got me some beer flavoured beef stew. I asked the waitress to fill my canteen with tea, and once I had eaten my fair share off it, I took it all back to camp. I knew if my men talked about what I was doing, or if someone found the kid and questioned him, I could be accused a traitor's accomplice, and traitor myself. With every consequences it would induce… But I was not that worried. I figured there was no reason this would happen. The men were just as compromised as me on this one, and nobody would give a damn about a child. But, I'd still better be safe than sorry.

I headed straight to the wooden cell my young prisoner was in. When I arrived, the boy started. He backed away a bit, and he tried to put an uppity frown on his face. Now I knew that wouldn't help to laugh at his face, but his gritted teeth, smirk and furrowed brows were more comical than efficient as to hiding his puffy red eyes and trembling. I debated just dropping the food on the floor, kicking it to him and leaving. That way he'd think smarter to stay out of trouble in the future. But I knew no one would come this way, and the kid must have been scared enough, so there was no use playing the big bad soldier.

I opened the door with the tray in one hand, and I came into the cell. The boy's eyes widened and he scooted backwards until his back was on the wall. I sat myself against a side wall with the food close to me, and I took the cover off the steaming plate. That's one of the perks being a fire bender, you never eat cold.

I could see the minute I showed off the food he was dying for it. You know, wide nostrils and wet mouth.
"come on" I said "that food's all for you. Aren't you hungry ?"
He was suspicious, but eventually his stomach won him over, and he crouched in front of the tray. His eyes were going on the plate, then me, then the plate again. I stretched out my arm, presented the spoon my hand hold firmly for him to take. He was peering into me, and a moment of deep silence followed. Until he carefully took the spoon from my hand. Then the cell was full of his tucking in sounds.

" 'd like some tea ?" I asked handing him my canteen. He pecked at me, then seized it. On second thought, he glowered and sniffed at the inside while he still was swallowing his mouthful of food. He was still a bit wary, but he was thirsty even more. He drank, glanced back at me, like he expected something to happen, and after a short while got back head first into his meal.

Some time later I tentatively asked his name… Anwei, that's it. He said he was 9, but he seemed a bit small for his age.
"Well, I thought, if it only took a hot meal to get the other prisoners to talk…"
I pushed him further. He said he lived with his mother and grand parents in the town we had found him. There he paused and he looked up at me. The spoon hung in the air just for a second, just like his question. But he eventually dropped it.
"will they get in trouble, sir ?"
His voice was just a whisper, but it had the most genuine and touching tone I had heard in years.
"…because of me ?" he added.

Waow, big question. Tough question. If I had reported his vandalizing, then yes, they would have been in trouble too. But the thing is, I had not.

I was working out what I'd say, when Anwei broke in tears. "My mum isn't responsible !" he cried out.
"yeah, what about you ?! Did you not think, maybe, the fire nation wouldn't be thrilled by your stupid contribution to its propaganda posters ? You're responsible ! So act like it. And stop crying you're not… seven… anymore…"

There was a big tense silence then, and I realized I had been a bit hard with the kid. He had to be scared to death by the time. Plus, I hadn't been the perfect child either, and I had done my fair share of dumb things too.

But I couldn't allow myself to be all sugar and candies on this one. First, because that was not suitable for a man of the Fire Nation. Second, because Anwei had to understand messing with the Army was not without consequences. And third, because he was a bit over reacting. A little harshness would probably put his teary remorse back into place and bring him back to reality. Sure he was young, but he wouldn't be his whole life, and growing up means taking actions and assuming reactions.
When you screw up, you can cry all you want, it won't make things right. Even worse, it'll waste the time you could have used to get up and about again.
The sooner Anwei got it, the better for him.
He had been in for a close call, yet he had a second chance. I had taken it all on my behalf. What was he crying about ?

…Okay, maybe I was a bit over reacting. He was really really young…

"Next time, you'll use your brain, and you'll stay out of trouble."
I said it so calmly it echoed in my head for a while. Anwei was not crying anymore. Instead, he was wringing his hands with his eyes locked on a confuse spot on the floor.
"Come on, get up". That came out more like a statement than a command.
I walked to the cell's door and opened it.

"But, I haven't finished my plate…" murmured Anwei.
"Well if you want you can stay in here." I snapped back. The kid was getting infuriating by the second.

But it was obvious he longed to leave, so he got himself together and followed my lead.

I just marched my way through the cells, getting more crowded and stinky as we were closing on the main hallway. Anwei was almost running to keep up at my side, shortening the distance between us as the incarcerating surroundings freaked him out more and more.

Finally we passed the two sentinels guarding the entry of the prison. We went through the courtyard, full of soldiers warming up around a fire, and then by the observation towers girding the camp's exit. I cut through the forest, so the route would be shorter, and so I could enjoy the light crackling of snow under my big, sole-metal boots. The sound was nice and soothing, and -
"where are we going, sir ?"

It took me three more steps to stop, with my temper in control. Now, I don't mean to be stereotypic or anything, but when people say Fire benders have a short frustration tolerance, truth speaks through their mouths.

"Why, I don't know, to the Spirit World. Taking a ride on a see-through-y komodo chicken seems pleasant enough."
I turned around, looked at him, and he was gazing right back at me, gaping.
"I was joking." The boy just kept glaring. Agni, what a rash ! I turned back and resumed walking. "Just if you hadn't noticed. We're going to you mom."
"but... But you said she wouldn't get in trouble !"
"She's not getting into troubles ! I'm taking you home ! Now come on I don't have all night. I'm on morning duty at sunrise !"
I turned back yet for the second time of the night. "Stupid brat", I muttered.
I hadn't walked a minutes and he was back again. I think I preferred him when he was overawed and silent.

"I could have gotten there on my own sir."
"You're annoying !"

This was what I had thrown my canteen's alcohol away for ?! Tell me about self sacrificing.
Then, for a few seconds of blissful silence, I could only hear Anwei's breath. I thought he might have finally gotten the message. I felt the muscles around my shoulder blades relax…
"we're in the middle of the forest, sir."
"waow, no kidding!?" don't turn around Jee, or you'll never get through with it !
"is that… so I can't run ? so I can't… escape ? because, I don't know the way to Home from here…? "

I turned around, but this time I didn't stood still. Anwei looked just dazed and anxious and completely out of his mind. I walked right behind him, grabbed him by the collar and pushed him forward. He yelped.
"You moron. Just walk. And no crying. Agni, I'm never helping someone again !"
Every time the child seemed to slow down or be about blabbering again, I pushed him in the middle of his back and forced him to move on, at a quick pace.

Finally we arrived at that God forsaken village. The child told me right away where his house was.
It was a rather big building, but in fact several families lived in there. Not a very appealing look from the outside still.
The front door was missing, making the main hall a long covered passageway between each family's habitations. A few people were hanging out there, and stared at me with spite.

I knocked on the door that served as an entry to Anwei's, and a mere moments later, a young woman with dark circles under her puffed up eyes popped her head out. When she saw Anwei the door flipped wide open, and she throw herself at him. She was squeezing him, and then she looked at me. "what have you done !" she hissed.

"We need to talk." I stated. I made my way inside. It was an all in one big room with a kang in one wall, a kitchen range right next to it, an old table, and a bit further, a tin basin.

This was not the first time I had seen a kang, I had taken a few sneak peaks at it on shakedowns at locals' houses before. At first, the idea of a big heated brick bed also being used as a cooking and eating place, and as a couch altogether, appeared weird and… kind of filthy. But then I guessed it was a good way to keep warm, which is a vital thing there for people who can't firebend. So, if it's well kept, why not ?

But I had never sat, less not slept on one before, yet at that was very tempting. Especially after a walk in the night's snow with Noisy Anwei. My butt would have really been enjoying the nice, warm attention. But sitting down before I had been invited to would have been very rude.

Interesting thing, I noticed the grandparents after the kang only. But to my defence, it was a late night hour, and they were standing motionless in the back of the room, their clothes ironically close shades of honey brown and cream, just like the stucco that covered the walls. Two shrivelled living statues – but for their eyes, that moved everywhere I was.

"I'm sorry for whatever troubles Anwei brought you. It won't happen again ! I swear he'll take proper punishment."
The woman had a typical accent of the northern earth kingdom, it seemed like she swallowed her "r". She looked in genuine concern, while the two antiques only were pissed I was there.
I explained the woman what our troop had caught him doing. No need to tell how he could have been dealt with, from the way her expression broke down. The grand mother herself muffled a cry with her hand. The grand father just looked pissed…

The mother shook her son by the shoulders "are you stupid ? why would you do that ! the fire nation army is here to protect us ! you'll never do something so stupid again, will you ?"
That was a bit overplayed : she was not staring at him, but at me.

"Ninmi, give the man something hot to drink" scowled the grand mother. Then she bowed slightly to me "please, sit down."
Finally !
Before I could enjoy the nice relieving sensation, the grand mother sat down beside me and grabbed my hand. She had a terrifying smug smile plastered on her face.

"Well, you're a strong young man ! Why does the Fire Nation send you for something as petty as Anwei's inanity ? Ninmi ! Don't get on your knees to reach the teapot ! You've got a back don't you, well use it, and bend forward ! You'll thank me when you'll be older."
Okay…
"Aha, children ! I guess we all do our share of stupid things in life, the important thing is we realize it and never do it again, don't you think ?"
The mother, whose name was apparently ninmi, came to sit on her knees by the small end table. She was setting up the teapot and cups, when her mother spoke again. Sure enough a family trait…
"Have you seen Ninmi's wrap-over hemline ? Turn your head so our guest can have a better view ! See the nice work, sir ?" she asked while pulling the fabric, so I could have a better view… of the fabric… 's hemline.

"we don't want to get in trouble sir" the old man at last spoke.
"Quiet !... what my husband means is we are a bit surprised with all those events, but it can all be settled. We just don't know how to thank you enough for bringing Anwei home."

There the mother started to cry. She put her forehead on my feet and she bargained, cried, thanked, and pleaded all she was worth in a big confused outburst for her son.
"I'd do anything, sir ! " she begged.
"Anything" the old woman added with a wink.
"Wow, I'm not that kind of man."
"Of course you're not. But say, Ninmi, such a kind man, we have to give him our hospitality for the night."
"All right, I'll be going now, you keep the stupid kid. And we'd better not meet again. Ever."
"Where are you going sir ? we don't want to get in trouble !" the grand father yelled as I walked out.

This was just… Wrong ! What was that all about anyway.
I was storming and growling, doing my way back to camp through the forest. I used my breath of fire to keep me warm, but that only got the snow in which my feet were encased to melt, so I had warm but wet toes. Great. I thought I could just try to calm down and focus on the quiet around me. I got a glimpse of the moon through the lattice of branches, and I forced myself to think it was pretty while taking deep breaths. I felt the fire in my abdomen grow when I breathed in and falter when I breathed out. After a while I relaxed, and I laughed at myself. Why was I all worked up already ? There was no reason to be.

"Wait ! Sir !"
Oh yeah, that was the reason…
Somebody was screaming in the distance, behind me, it was the voice of the mother.
When she caught up with me, she was panting, but there was no sweat on her forehead. Her cheeks were pink from the effort, but her lips were white from the freezing weather.

"what are you doing out here ?" I said "you're gonna catch a cold."
She bowed to me. "I'm sorry, I wanted to apologize. You brought my son home, and we insulted you. Please forgive me. I was just so happy, I didn't know what to do, or say. Truth is I can never make it up to you, but the way I expressed it was… tendentious, and disrespectful. I'm sorry. What Anwei did was so foolish ! I know what you took on yourself to keep him safe, and I'm so grateful ! You're a good man, I just wished you to know."
"…do you have familial competitions ?"
"what ?!"
"No nothing. It's okay ma'am. I'd just like to get some sleep before I take over working, but, thanks for letting me know. Just make sure you keep that son of yours in check."
I nodded and I left.

"He's not stupid !"
I feared a recurrent pattern, but I turned around nonetheless.
"He just longs for a father."
"… I know ! And I long for a warm kang and dry boots, but I'm not going to get those, am I ? Just, give him a couple more hugs at night. That won't replace a father, but it can't make him anymore girly anyway. And watch him. Seriously."
And I quickened my pace. I had had enough for one night. And at this point, the silence of the forest was more like a threat to any imminent nonsense than anything.

"Wait ! Would you like… a cup of tea with me ?"
"…I'm sorry. But, I'm not going there. It wouldn't feel right. Maybe some other time…"

Then I heard footsteps coming my way.
"What. Again." That was really starting to grow on me.
"Have this." Ninmi said. Then she threw herself in my arms, and she hugged me very, very close. I stood still, and a few seconds later she parted. She looked at me and she smiled, and then she turned away.

I was motionless for a great deal of time, and it started to snow lightly, so I went back to camp. More exactly, my feet were going back to camp. My head was somewhere else.

Probably in the Spirit World, judging by all the weird things that had happened to me this night.

come on, don't make the 'submit review' line beg for your click ! Or Anwei will come and stalk you !