Author's note : I'd like to apologize for such slow updates. my life sucks badly right now. i'm making sacrifices but it's hard, i DREAM about freaking molecules !!! if i don't pass my exam this year then i'll be all over... i have to pass it !!!

thanks if anyone's still reading this story after the horrible way i'm managing it ! (and to newguy 22, a special apology for the long wait. you're the reason i haven't simply dropped off the story !))
hope you all like.

Things toughened in May.

As you probably guess, our army was spreading thin on the huge earth kingdom territories, if we wanted to keep the balance in our favour, we couldn't afford a single rebellion. So, every little sign of uprising was crushed down. And we kept the locals strictly monitored.

We had a database were every potential dissident was registered. Those included earth benders, who had to come and declare themselves. If they were caught doing any use – public or private – of this bending, they were send to special prisons. As for those who had not been registered…

Every now and then we had to come and shake those subversive people, ask questions and get answers, ask questions again, get to the point, search their house, search their family's house, search their neighbours houses, and ask questions, again, very loudly to them all at the end of it. You get the picture.

Sometimes, we also broke into some random house to do the same.

This was a good occasion for the soldiers to grab some free food, drink… and for a few, women. But this was first of all an excellent way to get information for our administration.
You have no idea what someone would do for a bowl of rice if hungry enough ! The first times, it feels so unreal you hardly believe yourself. Grassing mother, brother, and children alike, just to be over it quickly, or to be seen in a good light… It was very easy to despise this people, and the whole earth kingdom in the wake. But as soon as I had come to this, I had found it very hard not to despise some of my own fellows. So I guess that set it even.

Yet, throughout the months, rumours had been running. Our superiors wanted to know more about those, and as was our job, we had to pressure our key instructors into some reliable information.
We did, and I'll spare you the details of how. That's a part of my life I'm not proud of.
Back then… I know that's no excuse but… Sometimes you just don't have middles, and I don't claim to be the bravest or most clever man, so I didn't give it a second thought and I did what was expected of me.
I was not the only one, and I was left to deal with petty interrogations only. Still, I was good at my job. Just good, not zealous… That's what I was paid for, and I did it for my country.

Our superior put together what little information we had received, and by August, Colonel Qin himself had half of us all gathered for a bombastic speech in full armour. Apparently the major drunkards and well-wishers had been discarded, while hard core patriots and young and angry recruits filled the room. When Colonel Qin entered, the big taiko drum's sound emphasised his steps and we all fell silent. Qin took a long and dramatical breath. He declared the Office of Containment had investigated and confirmed the locals were plotting an organized uprising. He said we had been chosen for our loyalty to our nation and our ability of discretion. The last word trailed off before he spoke again. We had to outrun the rebels.

The 5th of July was to be the day a huge charge of blasting jelly would be placed in the heart of the firenation colony. The targets were mostly administrative or symbolic buildings. The eastern information tower, the governor's estate, the theatre of the golden flame… a few rich people's house though… All put together, and given how massive some of this buildings were, there had to be quite a lot of explosive.
Reports didn't reveal how the locals had gotten the blasting jelly, and in such an amount, but colonel Qin had affirmed in a cold tone it would be seen to in time.
That meant he already had his own elite spies working on it, and it was none of our business. At least not mine, troubles come easily enough for me not to seek more.

We were to burst into the new founded city two days before. We knew the blasting jelly would be moving to the targets by then. Handling it meant a lot of risks for the locals, they were more exposed, and thus easier to find. Especially since they were no match in an actual fight – being food restricted was no good for an efficient training.

An hour before dawn, we rushed to the city, as fast and silent as an entire division could be. Of course ! If we didn't want the blasting jelly to vanish before we caught the scums and traitors, no one had to know of this, not even the Fire Nation people living there. We had to be precise and in control as to avoid any accident. If the rebels knew and were freaked out, the situation would be out of hand… A quarter of us would search in selected spots, while another quarter kept an eye on the streets. The rest would stand in the city outskirts, just in case.

But word had probably spread in town already. When we arrived, it was 5 o'clock, and a few earth people were still standing at their doorway or spying us through the window. So much for the surprise effect.

Our lieutenant took the hint, something was amiss. He knew he had to think fast on his own, forget Sergeant Hao's orders and Colonel Qin !
- Get in the houses ! get in the houses !! he gestured and yelled for all he was worth. Get them all out !We all broke into the nearest houses, looking for the people… as well as for anything suspicious. We knocked over every piece of furniture, looked under each carpet, seized everyone we came across, and we got it all out.

- What should we do with our fellow fire nation civilians, sir ? someone asked.
The lieutenant looked taken aback for a second, then stroked his beard to give himself some composure.
- We should be getting them all to safety. I suggest the disused information tower in the city's northern outskirts. Sergeant Hao spoke out abruptly. Then he turned to the lieutenant and added for him : It's old and dirty but it's safe, it should do for now.
The latter and every soldier around bowed, and orders fused as the fire people were escorted outside the city.

I assigned Tian Zhen, the younger man of my unit, to do so himself. I told him I trusted him to make sure there was no trouble once they were arrived. Which I did, but I also didn't want him to stick around in a place potentially stuffed with explosives and full of an angry and desperate mob. I thought someone this young shouldn't – and wouldn't – be able to handle a problem in there. Somewhere else was much better.

The sun grew higher.
Green rags and grey faces soon crowded the place as we spread further into the houses, when a young caporal screamed after Hao. He rushed to him, and I overheard him talk about a trapdoor and underpasses. Hao looked really bothered, but it was the older lieutenant who actually hit the roof.
"How could we miss it ! That big, for so long !"

"damn" Kazuo elbowed me. "too bad we didn't find it. That guy'll have some serious promotion."
"yeah, and we'll get some serious troubles for not finding it sooner."

Right then, our lieutenant threw himself in the mob and grabbed a random man's collar. We all turned o watch. He yanked him like a puppet, yelled and kicked him to the ground. He spit on him, spit on the mob, pushed them. He was getting hysterical.
It was near noon, and we still had no clue where the blasting jelly was.

"Where is it ?" The lieutenant hurled. He breathed in loudly, the only sound in a heavy silence.
"I said… Where is it ! One of you had to know !" he brawl with disgust in his voice as he addressed the locals. He started pacing the square as his rage was slowly coming to a head…
"You filthy earth scum ! Ungrateful ! I'd drown you all in the mud you belong to. Like pigs ! We fed you ! We protected you ! We brought civilisation to this Agni's forsaken place ! And what do you do ? You turn back on us and you plot to kill innocent people ! You shameless dirt !"

Then he stopped, obviously in the process of steeling a forming decision. He drank in the look of fear, misery, impotence and negligent hatred that were the locals' faces. Faces he despised himself so much. And it brought home at the end of the road.

"See that man ?" He said while pointing at the hiccupping man he had just left for dealt with on the soil. His finger was accusing, determined. And from the very tip of it, a spark soon lit. It grew and fed from the lieutenant's will, and the more he fed it, the hungrier the fire was, until slowly… very slowly… the whole of the earth kingdom man was eaten away.

That made a very weird noise. A deep scream, a long crisping, the flesh… I had heard before, on the battle field, but back then my mind was blurred by my primal will to survive. It was not then, and the poor man was just beaten and lying.
The smell I already knew. I had had it on my uniform for days after my first charge.
The weirdest at the moment though was, I was not making a big deal about the man himself.
…That only came back later. When you get over the noise.

"Every one here will know the same fate, one by one, no exception, unless I am told where those fucking barrels are !"

And then, I don't know what happened but there was a huge flashing light, a horrible thunder ripping the air apart, and a grumbling spreading through my feet.
I snapped my head around to see what was going on. Gradually, the white flashing light decreased in brightness, it took smoky shades of red and yellow, and last, a hot blow of thick wind swirled past me.
It had not even taken a second, but really it had seemed to last for ever.
And only then, did I realize.

- What the Hell ?!
- What's going on !
- Merciful Agni…

- Now what was that ? someone asked from behind my shoulder.
- That was an explosion dummy. I answered angrily.

- Somebody blew up the Northern information tower ! a sentinel yelled from afar.
That just made the mess all around bigger. People brawled in every direction, and not only fire soldiers.
After a short moment of uncomfortable stillness, Hao finally took charge.

- First part of the division, take the earth kingdom citizen into our camp's prison. And send more men and physicians on you way. The rest of you go north. Come on !

As my identification number placed me on the first half, I had to lead the prisoners. I'd rather have seen for myself how things were there. How Tian Zhen could have make it out of the place I had send him to… So yeah, I was not in the best mood on the way to camp, I must have been rough with the prisoners.

News were bad later in the day. It was still gossip, but apparently, the charges had been hidden outside the city when word of our little search party had spread. The northern tower had been a ruin now for decades. Build in a haste after we settled there 60 years ago, it had been replaced with a bigger, more impressive one eastward, in the glorious hours of the mining.

Some soldiers said to who wanted to hear it that this was an obvious hiding place, with a vast basement that no one ever check on. They said it should have been scooted before sending any civilian in.
That was probably true, and the lieutenant who had given the order would most likely lose his head.
The man had just tried to do what seemed best when no body did anything. But every one now agreed he had been completely irresponsible when they knew better. Many were glad he would have it cut off.
A few even whispered the soldiers themselves had kind of deserved what had happened, because they didn't think of a shakedown themselves.

Comforted by the insignia of a country they would die for…
Blamed for not being paranoid enough I guess. But don't worry, that comes easily as you grow older.

- That was a big one…
Around the table, conversations were low, if there was any. We had bore corpse all day long, and the weight lingered. That was normal, we wouldn't be joking right after something like this. But this guy, a few seats away from me, he was really not taking it good. From what I had understood, he and Tian Zhen had been both from Ember Island. Of course, being from the same place doesn't make you best friends, but when you're away from your home, it brings you closer.
- I've seen bigger. But you kids were still playing hide and seek…
- Waow, I am so impressed. Our friends died this morning and you have shitty talk about how great you are ! I glowered at him as I talked.
- Hey, What's your problem ? I was just trying to loosen things up a bit ! I can't raise the dead anyway. Can you, corporal ?
The man next to him mimicked to elbow him and coaxed him into silence with a faint order.
- Just shut up, Nan…
That was well needed. I brought my eyes back down on my plate when I caught Kazuo staring at me.

That infuriated me. What ? Now I was to blame ? I should have just shut up and heard that kind of shit, in such a moment ? No way.
I stood up and I left without a word, because I was too angry to think of anything to say that I wouldn't regret later.

I was at the door of my barackement, when I heard Kazuo calling my name. "Wait" he said. "I want to talk with you."
- Not right now, ok ?
- Not right here, you mean. There's a lot of people, not the best place for a talk. I don't feel like screaming my words today… Come on, I offer you a drink.
I was a bit wary, but Kazuo was right, I needed something strong to wash my head away. Besides, it's not like I could have slept.

Kazuo walked in the courtyard. He knew the guard on the way up to the battlement that run all around camp, and he spotted an out-of-the-way place. As soon as he stopped there, he came down to business.

- You don't have to act that way. You're not responsible. Tian Zhen knew what expected him when he joined the army. Those things happen.
- Wh… You brought all the way here to tell me that ? Thanks but I'm gonna pass this one.
I was not in the mood for sentimental chit chat. I was turning on my heels already but Kazuo wouldn't let it go.

- What about that big rant then ?
- What about it ? An evening's quiet is too much to ask for the death of innocents and soldiers ?! that could have been us !
- And you feel so concerned and guilty you have to make a big fuss and point at someone who's not you.
- Wow, look who's talking ! Lots of cheap words, nothing like blowing off people to get you in touch with your feminine side, uh ! Sure I feel guilty, I sent Tian Zhen there, I did. And he's dead !
I stopped there and had to catch my breath. Then I took back slower:
"I won't pretend we were best buddies or, I wish I had a second chance and be so. Truth is, he could he raised from the deads, we just didn't hit it off and we still wouldn't. But I mean, he was a nice guy, he had a family and he wasn't rotten to the core yet. He could have done something with his life… And he got blasted just because I had thought he'd be safer on the large X spot. That was obvious. We've all badly messed up. I won't cry about it, but if no one wants to take responsibility for this, I will. I don't mind showing a little respect for a dead kid."

I glowered at Kazuo for a minute, and he just stared back at me with no precise focus.
- Who's in touch with their feminine side, cheap speechie ? he suddenly grinned
- Fuck you.
I turned and waved angrily.
- Wait! That's not what I had to tell you.
Kazuo was gripping my arm, and I knew for his now back to his normal grouchy tone this was worth hearing. I shifted myself into a steadier position, but I didn't look at him.
"I'm listening."

Kazuo's voice came steady and breathy :
- … You're not responsible. I am.
The corner of my lips uncontrollably fell until my face was just a big comical frown, yet I stood waiting for more.
- You what ? I murmured without my realizing it.
- You have to understand. I'm telling you this because every one will know soon enough, and you have been the closest thing to a friend for me in here."
closest ?
- What happened… had to happen. I did it… for my country."
There I lost it. I flipped back and seized him, my face mere centimetres away from his, and I think his foot left the ground as I hold him to my eyes.
-You blew the tower away ?!!" I almost spat. My word came out choked with rage and disbelief.
- Jee, I -
- You blew all this people ? You killed them !
- Jee you have to hear me out
- They were our people, our blood, they were innocents ! How could you betray them ??

-I didn't ! I did this for our people ! What do you think the world will see in a hundred years ? Our children ? They'll see the Fire nation, bloodthirsty, savage, horrible ! Committing atrocities in the name of peace ? I don't want them to think every one in our people agreed with this senseless war ! I don't want them to think we're a people of twisted cowards and monsters ! I want them to think the Fire Nation, its real people, stand up against anything, masters, money and gods, to do what's honourable ! That's why I blew this tower !"

"Honourable ? i couldn't hold a chuckle there. how's that honorable to kill defenceless women and children ? And not even of your own hand ! you're the coward

"you're young Jee. But you've been in this place for a while now. Do you think killing defenceless people is okay when they're earth kingdom ? do you think what we do is right ? we do it for the coal, for power, to give more money to those fat asses in the royal court !

" that's no excuse for what you did !"I send him flying away with as much strength as I could gather, and his back hit the cornice full speed. My head was slowly spinning, and my stomach wouldn't bear it for too long. I had to take a deep breath and get myself together.
" In the Fire nation, people say 'when a dog barks at you, you don't bark back at him'. If you thought so ill of what our army does, you shouldn't have done it yourself. But I guess you wouldn't know this proverb, seeing how you don't give a damn about your people."

I supported myself on my way back thanks to the cornice, and from what seemed to me an endless distance, I could hear kazuo yell "you can't rant me out ! you wouldn't want Colonel Qin to hear about that propaganda poster, and you let the kid go without doing nothing ! So much for yo' brown nose corporal play, uh ? And I thought you were someone good !"

ooh, cliffy chapter ! is jee going to make it out of this tough affair with his head ? i have a feeling he will, silly me !
but go on, please : REVIEW !