Warnings: If you have not read "Gentle-Fist Massage" or "Gentle-Fist Massage II: White Chocolate" please do so before continuing!!
This is a Yaoi story that includes sex and is VERY dark!! Not for the weak hearted!!
Otherwise, please enjoy!!!
Gentle-Fist Massage III: Of Break Ups and Hospital Beds
Shikamaru Nara hated the snow, ever since he had been a child. Seeing the snow meant that he could no longer enjoy his favorite pastime, cloud gazing. It also started up months of nagging from his mother, back when he lived with his parents, saying he wasn't dressed warm enough, and not to expect her to take care of him when he caught pneumonia. Snow was always so troublesome. When it fell, the roads became slippery, and the way it crunched beneath Shikamaru's feet always annoyed him. During the day, it was way too bright, blinding his dark, sleepy eyes when he'd step outside.
Even now, he could see the big, fluffy flakes, as they fell on the other side of the window of the bar he was sitting in.
Shikamaru hated the snow, and now he had another reason to add to his list as to why.
He downed the small glass of saké in one gulp, enjoying the burning sensation it left going down his throat. It was a good distraction to the pain residing in his chest, a forever present tightness that clenched and pulled at his heart constantly. The Nara couldn't find a way to get rid of the feeling, but he found the alcohol helped to dull it, even if a little.
The shadow wielder filled his glass again, then reached into his vest, removing a pack of cigarettes. He lit one, inhaling the smoke gingerly, letting it reside within his lungs for a long moment, before releasing it in one long breath. The nicotine helped a little, too. Sometimes, if he drank and smoked, he could almost eliminate the darkness within him. It was the only way to find comfort.
Taking another drag and downing another glass, his dark eyes once again looked at the snow falling outside, in the cold night.
Asuma Sarutobi looked at his ex-student with sad eyes. "Are you all right, Shikamaru?" he asked, voice gentle.
The younger ninja sighed, closing his eyes. His former teacher had asked the same thing for several nights, ever since he had started coming to the bar to try and drown out the sorrow within his heart.
"…Yeah," he replied, turning back to his saké, refilling his glass once more and inhaling another drag.
"You know this isn't healthy for you," the older shinobi continued, leaning on the bar and lighting a cigarette of his own.
Shikamaru didn't respond, flicking the burnt end of his smoke into the ashtray.
The other man sighed. "It's been a month, Shikamaru. Don't you think it's time you moved on with life?"
The Nara's eyes widened and he looked at the man beside him. 'A month?' he thought. 'It's only been one month?' The pain within his chest pulsed. It had felt more like an eternity. He inwardly flinched. 'Fucking pain in the ass.'
He shook his head and gulped down his beverage. "Not without him," he finally responded, softly, refilling the glass again, filling his lungs with more smoke.
Asuma frowned, as he gazed at the broken leaf shinobi next to him. "Maybe you've had enough," he suggested, reaching to grab the bottle of saké.
Shikamaru had a heavy buzz, but his reflexes were still sharp, and he gently grabbed the man's wrist, his hand a blur when it moved. "Am I still conscious?" he whispered, not looking at the older ninja.
Said man sighed. "Yes."
"Then I haven't had enough." The ninja released him and downed the saké, placing the cigarette on his lips.
The jonin shook his head. "Destroying yourself won't help the situation," he said, slightly leaning back, inhaling more of his smoke.
The ninja scoffed, filling the glass once more, taking one final drag and putting the butt out in the ashtray. He knew that. He wasn't one of Konoha's top geniuses for nothing.
'Heh, some genius I am,' he inwardly mocked. 'I couldn't keep him with me, couldn't keep him happy.' The pain within his heart contracted again, though his buzz was getting heavier, making everything dull.
Shikamaru knew this wouldn't end the problem, but he was stuck; backed into a corner he truly didn't know how to get out of, no matter how hard he concentrated. He just figured, if he couldn't escape, he'd have to find ways to make it feel like he had. The ninja was trying to trick his mind and heart, if only for a little while, that the pain didn't exist, the darkness constantly swirling and growing around him was not there. To a certain degree, it worked. However, it became more and more difficult to deceive himself, as time passed. More alcohol, more cigarettes, and in the end, even more pain when all was said and done.
"Just be careful," Asuma said softly, interrupting the younger ninja's thoughts.
He nodded, looking at the clock. It was getting pretty late, and the bar he was at would be closing soon. Shikamaru paid for his drinks and the bottle of saké, grabbing his smokes and stood. It took him a moment to get his footing, his mind slightly swimming at the movement.
"You sure you're okay?"
The Nara looked at his former sensei from the corner of his vision. Slowly nodding, he grabbed the bottle as he walked to the door, feeling the older jonin's eyes on his back, taking a swig as he left.
Shikamaru walked into the troublesome snow, which was still falling pretty heavily around him. He lit up another cigarette as he walked, not really noticing nor caring where he was going. He just needed to walk.
His feet made that annoying crunching noise with every step, flakes melting on his flushed skin, which the Nara didn't really feel. The alcohol helped to keep him warm, even if it was artificial. He needed that warmth, something to wrap around his cold and broken heart.
His lover, Neji Hyuga, had broken up with him. It was sudden and staggering to Shikamaru, which was why he tried not to think about it too much over the weeks. The pain lingered, though. It curled around his heart, as if it were a spiked chain, puncturing deep and weighing him down.
'I should have told him,' the shadow wielder thought, taking another drag and gulp of saké. He knew he loved Neji, maybe even before their first night together at the inn. It had always seemed too… troublesome to say such things to the Hyuga, especially when he wasn't sure of the other's feelings.
Sure, it was public knowledge that the two were sleeping together, but Neji had always been hesitant when referring to Shikamaru as his 'boyfriend.' He usually glared at any who called them a couple, but the Nara figured it was just because their friends enjoyed teasing them. Outside of the bedroom, the two never really discussed their sexual lives with anyone, although Ino Yamanaka had been able to pull a few things out of her teammate, only because he grew tired of her voice. They had never really gone on a 'date,' other than just eating together at their apartment; when they did go out it was with their friends.
'Maybe he was still mad at me,' Shikamaru mused, taking another swig from the bottle. A little while before Neji dumped him, a couple weeks, maybe, he couldn't really remember, the Nara had accidentally called his lover, 'White Chocolate,' in front of their entire ninja class, while at a popular club.
The Hyuga had not been very happy at all, sleeping at his family's mansion instead of being with him for several days. The Nara had thought he had made it up to him, though. However, his lover had been unusually distant since that time and up to the break up. He wasn't happy. Shikamaru could see it, but he could do nothing to change it.
The shadow wielder paused, dropping the butt of his cigarette into the newly fallen snow, watching the bright embers as they faded into black, scorched ashes.
Lifting the almost empty bottle to his lips, he looked to see where he had wandered. His dark eyes grew darker, as he gazed at the snow-covered path before him. He recognized every tree surrounding him, the benches on either side of the road, the lampposts… the Nara knew it all. It had been here.
Shikamaru found himself standing at the very spot Neji had left him.
He looked at the ground, not wanting to remember it. The pain around his heart contracted even harder, the alcohol not being able to contain it anymore. The ninja tried to fight it, but his head swam at the very idea, and he had no choice but to watch that painful memory run through his mind. He raised his eyes, and it was as if someone was playing a movie in front of his drunken gaze.
The Nara could see himself standing not two feet before him, Neji several more feet away, his back to him.
"We can't keep doing this, Shikamaru."
The Hyuga's voice seemed so far away, and the pain contracted once more, the darkness swelling at what he was seeing.
"What do you mean, Neji?"
It almost didn't sound like his own voice. The voice he heard was strong and confident, although held a lazy tone to it. 'Did I really sound like that?' Shikamaru wondered.
Neji turned, his white chocolate colored eyes looking back at him. There was something in his gaze the Nara couldn't grasp. It was some foreign emotion he couldn't read, and it was gone before he could analyze further.
"I can't stay with you, Shikamaru." The Hyuga's voice was almost tender as he spoke.
The shadow wielder's eyes widened as he gazed at his lover, before he scowled, not wanting to admit it to himself. "Neji, what are you—"
"I'm not your lover anymore, Nara!" the older ninja spat, also scowling, causing the other to look shocked once more. "Don't say my name like that! Whatever relationship we had is done… such as it was." He turned, again giving the younger man his back.
Shikamaru didn't know what to think. The Hyuga had never called him by his family name before, and he felt something clench tightly within his chest. Shaking his head slightly, all he could push passed the lump forming in his throat was a very soft, "Why…?"
Neji scoffed, not bothering to turn around. "I have better things to do than screw with you all the time, Nara. It appears that I have a fiancé through an arrangement with another strong shinobi clan. It wouldn't look very good to the Hyuga family if I was fucking around with someone else, would it?"
He was still frozen in shock. Neji was breaking up with him. He didn't want the older man to go. The words floated out of his mouth without his conscious permission, trying to find anything to say to stop his lover from leaving him. "…White Chocolate—"
The older man turned, stopping any more words from Shikamaru, his eyes no longer the color of the confection they both enjoyed, they had crystallized over into a light blue, piercing the other with their cold glare.
"I will not be subjugated by you anymore, Nara!" he shouted, causing the younger ninja to take a fearful step back. "Don't you dare call me that ever again!" He turned on his heel, taking a deep breath.
Shikamaru was shocked beyond words. Neji had never yelled at him like that before.
Several minutes passed with an uneasy silence, as soft snowflakes started falling from the sky.
"I have to go and meet with my fiancé," the older finally spoke; his voice crisp and sharp. "I'll be by to pick up my things later, Nara." He started walking away, into the flurry of snow.
'No,' the drunken ninja thought as he watched the Hyuga walking away. His gaze shifted to himself, standing there, looking like a frightened deer. "Don't just stand there," he growled at the stoic figure, "go after him!"
Shikamaru stood there for several minutes, white, fluffy flakes starting to cover him. He eventually lowered his gaze, as if finally realizing that this was no joke. Neji was gone.
"Don't you let him leave!" The Nara's words were slightly slurred, as he shouted at his memory. "Run after him! Tell him how you feel! Don't let Neji walk out of your life!"
The shadow wielder finally turned, to make the lonely trek home.
As the movement happened, Shikamaru moved to push him in the direction his lover had gone, only his hands made no contact. He fell forward, not even feeling the collision with the cold, snow-covered path.
The Nara's head spun, as he realized his was flat on his face. Slowly, he rose to his knees, eyes glancing at the artificially lit area. The image of him was gone. Neji was gone. The snow was still falling from the sky.
Shikamaru hated the snow. The beautiful flakes reminded him of the Hyuga; so cold, yet wondrous to watch, but when surrounded by warmth, they melted against the one giving it.
He had not been warm enough to melt the older shinobi. He had not been able to make the person he loved happy. He was unable to tell the other how he felt. He was alone.
"Damn it," Shikamaru whispered, feeling the sting of tears in his eyes. "Damn it." He slowly stood, noticing the fall had smashed the bottom half of the bottle of saké still clutched within his hand. What had been left in the container was now freezing in the snow. The alcohol had not helped tonight, and he feared that now it never would.
"Damn it!" The Nara threw the remaining half of the bottle at the lamppost, where it immediately burst into several shards.
'Why am I such a fucking idiot,' he screamed in his mind. 'Why didn't my fucking high intelligence get me to keep him! Why the fuck did I let him walk away! Without Neji I'm….'
"I'm fucking nothing!!" he screamed, tears streaming down his flushed cheeks, the pain around his heart tightening, the darkness swirling around him, almost consuming him entirely.
Shikamaru wished it would, as he stumbled toward the lamppost, plopping down beside it. He leaned against the cold metal, wanting the cold loneliness to either swallow him up, or leave him alone. It had been sitting between those two choices ever since his love left him, and the Nara was getting quite annoyed. 'Just get it over with.'
He placed his face within his folded arms atop his knees. Even his own thoughts sounded broken. He was broken, he supposed. Neji had broken him, and Shikamaru was either too lazy or too hurt to even try and put himself back together. The Nara didn't want to, he realized, not without his love there.
Shikamaru couldn't live without the Hyuga.
He had no idea how he had before.
'There is no longer a life to live.'
The Nara didn't want to know what the rest of his life would be like, if the pain hadn't decreased at all during this last month, how could he survive the next? The darkness swirled around him, drawing him closer and closer to the edge of oblivion.
'Take me,' Shikamaru thought, body shaking as tears escaped his eyes continually. 'Just take me. I can't stand this.'
Several moments passed, his heart and soul on the brink of falling completely into the darkness. His begging didn't seem to have an effect, as he hung there, waiting.
He turned his head, eyes looking into the snow at his side. A piece of the forgotten saké bottle lied just inches from him. It gleamed from the artificial light from above, already half buried in snow.
The Nara reached with a shaky hand and picked it up, running his fingers along its smooth surface, his dark, broken orbs noticing the glass edges were sharp.
The idea struck him then. If the darkness was so unwilling to pull him within, then he would just have to push himself over that edge on his own.
He sat up a little, back pressed against the lamppost, eyes watching as he lowered the deadly glass to his wrist. The ninja knew it would not be quick, but he didn't want it to be. He wanted to slowly fall off the border and feel the darkness gradually wrapping around him, and pull him somewhere beyond his current placing. Where his pain would either consume him for all eternity, or it would be lifted from him entirely. As long as he wasn't teetering from one extreme to the other, it would be heaven in his eyes.
Shikamaru looked to see the blood running down his arms, from both his wrists, the glass forgotten at his side once more.
The crimson fluid ran freely, speeding up with every beat of his heart, and he sighed. The pain surrounding him was already beginning to fade.
Smearing blood across his clothes, he reached for another cigarette, his hands shaking terribly. He was almost unable to light the stick in his fingers, but he managed, and inhaled the sweet smoke into his lungs. The act smoothed out the pain further, and he smiled, bitterly.
'No more.' Maybe he would be granted the blessed path of an eternity without anymore hurt within his heart.
Shikamaru blinked several times, after a few minutes of watching the snowfall, as his vision became blurred, his mind feeling light, but his head heavy. He began gasping for air, but that only increased the dizzy feeling, and he tumbled to his side, his smoke falling from his grasp.
He tried to sit back up, but his muscles held no strength. The Nara could see his still bleeding wrists, as they lied, crossed over each other, in front of his face. He noticed the blood flow was starting to slow a little, but his mind was starting to become consumed by darkness, his eyelids becoming heavy.
'So this is how it ends,' he vaguely thought, words echoing around his head. He felt very tired, and his breathing slowed, the last notion crossing his darkened mind and soul, '…I wonder if Neji'll miss me….' Slowly, Shikamaru closed his eyes, becoming consumed by the darkness surrounding him, as the snow stopped falling from the heavens.
……………
Neji Hyuga stared at the red stained snow, just beneath the lamppost. He didn't know how long he'd been there, he had lost track of time when his gaze first locked on the discolored patch. Questions came with the sight, and he was unable to answer any. It didn't make any sense to him; why did this happen? Why would he do this?
The Hyuga felt tears stinging his eyes, but he blinked them back. It was not only the bloodstain on the ground bothering him; it was also the place that was causing him discomfort and pain.
'Why here?' he thought, eyes glancing around him a moment. 'Why this spot? Of all the places in the village, why did Shikamaru chose this one?' His heart tightened in pain, and he flinched, knowing full well why. This was where he had told the Nara to basically shove it, and walked away, never to come back to him.
What else could he have done? His uncle, Hiashi, had told him that the Hyuga family had already arranged for him to marry into the Inuzuka clan. He had to break up with his lover; there was no choice. Neji had decided to be harsh, ignoring the feelings within his heart, refusing to believe that he actually loved the Nara. It was clear that even his heart belonged to the main branch of the family, so he could not love whom he wanted.
Being angry was the only way he could think of that would have scared his lover away, so he would not try to pursue him. He had pushed down the pain, swallowed the lump in his throat, and put his anger for his uncle at the front of his mind. Neji took it out on Shikamaru, hoping the guilt would fade with time. Luckily, it had, but now….
Now all the Hyuga could feel was pain, all he could really think was a bitter, hate-filled voice within his mind, 'It's all my fault.'
He stared hard at the blood covering the snow, still amazed at the quantity surrounding the lamppost. He wondered how long the Nara had laid there, for that much blood to escape his self-inflicted wounds. Neji could hardly imagine it; lying there in the cold, half buried in snow, blood continually pouring from wounds inflicted on one's self… completely alone.
'Is that how he wanted to die?' the Hyuga asked himself once more. 'Did Shikamaru really want to leave this world surrounded by nothing but his own thoughts?'
He sighed, growing tired of running over the same questions again and again in his mind. Neji knew of the only way to get them answered, but also wasn't completely sure if he wanted that. The answers probably wouldn't be pretty.
'Because it's all my fault.'
The ninja clenched his fists, fighting the onslaught of guilt and sadness that poured over his heart. Releasing a shaky breath, he turned to leave. Maybe there would be more information elsewhere as to why this happened, besides the obvious.
"I figured you'd be here."
Neji turned at the familiar voice, and saw his fiancé, Kiba, standing in the path. He was wearing his winter coat, hands shoved into his pockets, and a sad smile was on his face. "I take it you heard what happened."
The Hyuga looked away, his eyes focusing on the blood-covered snow, before shutting them behind his lids. "…Yeah."
It was two days prior that Lady Tsunade had sent for him. Neji remembered the grim expression on her face, the sad way she had eyed him up, and how soft her words had been.
"Shikamaru Nara is in the hospital."
The Hyuga sighed, lowering his gaze on her. "…What of it?" He had tried not to spit the words at her, but his ears burned at his failure.
The Hokage also released a long breath. "It appears, Neji, that Shikamaru tired to kill himself last night."
His wide, shocked eyes stared at her. Surely she had been wrongly informed. His former lover had been smarter than that; what possible reason would justify his actions? "Are… are you certain?" he asked, at her continued silence.
She sadly nodded. "I had the Anbu do an investigation, just in case there was something else behind it. They found a shard of glass beside Shikamaru covered with his blood, and there were no signs of mind control or that the act had been forced upon him."
Neji looked at the floor. He could not understand why the Nara would want to do such a thing. 'What in the world was he thinking?' he thought, bitterly.
"Neji," Lady Tsunade continued, her voice softer, causing him to gaze at her once more, "Shikamaru lost a lot of blood, he also caught a touch of pneumonia. He has slipped into a coma. I'm not entirely sure if he can survive the next few days."
The Hyuga felt as if his heart had suddenly slid down into his stomach, a twinge of nausea coursing through his system. He could feel the blood drain from his face, and he scowled, looking at the floor again.
"I've done all I can," she continued, standing up from behind her desk and slowly walking up to him. "I'll keep my eye on him and give him the best care to ensure his survival, I promise."
Neji took deep breaths, trying to quell the suddenly strong urge he had to vomit.
The Hokage placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Are you all right?"
He swallowed, clenching his fists and forcing the bile he could taste back into his stomach. Nodding, he looked at her. Her face reflected worry for him, but he didn't want it. He wanted answers. The Hyuga had no idea what would have caused his ex-lover to do such a thing to himself. It didn't make any sense! He would have to look into it on his own, and figure it out for himself.
"Where," he tried, but his voice cracked and was barely above a whisper. Neji cleared his throat, white orbs filling with determination, trying to speak again. "Where was Shikamaru when he…." For some reason, he couldn't finish the sentence, a sting of tears in his eyes, which he blinked back.
A sad smile graced her lips. Lady Tsunade didn't have any qualms about giving the location to the Hyuga, but as soon as she had, he almost wished he could take it back. If Shikamaru had truly decided to try to take his own life there, at that spot, then….
'It's all my fault.'
It took Neji two whole days to muster up the courage to actually go to the place. However, there were no answers to be found, only more questions. Questions he was growing more and more reluctant to find responses to.
Kiba walked up to him, his canine like eyes also staring at the frozen blood in the snow.
There was silence between them, and Neji knew the other man was searching for something comforting to say. Kiba knew all too well how close he and Shikamaru had been. The Hyuga refused to listen to him, as the Inuzuka would tell him again and again to admit that he loved the shadow wielder.
Neji never knew why the dog tamer was so insistent about it. He didn't see the point in it, what did it matter? He was being forced to marry someone else, whether or not he held feelings for another.
"It… must be hard," Kiba said, tone soft and soothing, "ya know, seeing as you lo—"
"Don't start, Kiba," the Hyuga spat.
The ninja beside him sighed. "Aren't you at least going to try and see him at the hospital?"
Neji thought about that a long while, gaze never leaving that horrible red stain. His mind jumbled through the many possibilities as to why he should visit his ex-lover and why he shouldn't. Eventually, the negative won out, and he turned away from the lamppost, also giving his fiancé his back.
"No," he finally answered. "There would be no point." The Hyuga began walking away, wanting to go back home and train so hard that the blood burned within his memory would be torn away.
"Why the hell not?" Kiba asked, a slight bark in his voice, as he followed the older man.
Neji sighed, not stopping his trek across the snow covered path. "Because I do not like to associate with cowards who look for the easy way out."
It was the ultimate truth he had come up with.
Shikamaru was upset by the break up, and refused to move on. Whether it was his laziness or something else entirely, the Hyuga would never know, but he did know that the Nara had sought the fastest, easiest way he could think of to get away from the situation. Neji wanted no part in that kind of thinking ever.
"Heh, look who's talking," Kiba voiced from behind.
The older shinobi whipped around, eyes burning into the other, anger flaring within his body at being called a coward by his own fiancé.
The Inuzuka merely smirked back, stretching his arms to rest behind his head. "Was what Shikamaru did really different from what you did?"
Confusion swirled to life inside his mind, his eyes narrowed. "…What do you mean by that, Kiba?"
Said ninja only snorted, looking up at the sky a moment, before resting his dark gaze back on the Hyuga. His eyes were softer now, his tone no longer holding a mocking tone as he spoke, "You said Shikamaru was a coward for finding the easy way out, right?" After his slow nod, Kiba continued, "How is that any different from you, Neji? You took the easy way out, too, ya know."
A scowl touched his features, hating the way the younger shinobi enjoyed beating around the bush. "…How so?"
He sighed, as if it should be completely obvious. "You agreed to this arrangement of marrying me, moron! Instead of facing the feelings you noticeably have for Shikamaru, you took the easy way out by avoiding them and dumping him!"
Neji's breath caught in his throat a moment, his face going pale. The Inuzuka was right; he had been no different. His eyes drifted down to the stretch of snow separating the ninja, his heart heavy with sadness and guilt.
"If I were you," Kiba continued, placing his hands back into his pockets, "I'd fight for 'im."
The Hyuga raised his eyes again, locking onto the man across the path. "Fight?"
"Yeah. Go to your uncle and say your heart belongs to someone else and that you can't marry me. I'll even talk to my mom and see if maybe something else could be worked out. I mean, it's worth a try, isn't it?" The Inuzuka was grinning widely, and it somehow warmed the older shinobi's heart, causing a small smile to appear on his lips as well.
"I suppose it is," he whispered, turning away. "Thank you, Kiba."
The dog tamer chuckled behind him. "No problem, Neji! I understand that just because you're a genius, it doesn't make you a smart guy!"
An eyebrow twitched, the Hyuga's smile quivering in irritation. 'Don't kill him,' he thought, trying to control his anger. 'He just helped me out, so I guess that grants him the right to tease me… this time.'
Clearing his throat, he continued walking away from where the man he loved tried to end his life. He would talk to his uncle, he would fight for the right he had to be with the person he loved, and he would tell Shikamaru.
……………
He was surrounded by darkness. It was peaceful. The pain had vanished. He liked it.
'Did it work?' he thought. 'Am I dead?'
Shikamaru hoped so. This was where he felt he should be, darkness swirling around him, any thoughts that came to him could not be grasped and merely slipped away, leaving him to wonder about nothing. He didn't have a body; at least that's how it felt. It was as if his soul was just floating around, going nowhere, thinking about nothing, with no reason.
The shadow wielder couldn't have asked for more.
He drifted in that nothingness for a long time, it seemed, not bothered by the small notion, as it barely grazed his mind before slipping away, that he was forever stuck in that purgatory. No, this was where he truly belonged. No one to hurt him, no one to be hurt by him; just a never-ending darkness. It was nothing.
It was perfect.
Shikamaru then started to… feel. It pulled at him, gripping his heart, and he was moving. The darkness was leaving him, swirling around in his wake, making him feel like maybe he was surfacing.
'No,' he thought, feeling a spark of fear shooting through him. He didn't want to leave; he had finally found peace within that unfeeling nothingness! He tried to fight it, but found he couldn't move. The shadow wielder could only be dragged along, the unwanted feelings increasing around him.
Shikamaru was cold, he could feel his lungs filling with air, and a shudder ran down his spine, causing him to flinch at the pain that action caused his body.
One by one, his senses returned. He could barely feel soft sheets beneath his fingers, but it was hard to investigate that. The Nara couldn't move. He tried just to move one finger, but felt nothing.
Then a scent of flowers reached his nose. He slowly inhaled it, not being able to identify the familiar aroma. Where had he smelled that before?
His lips were dry, very dry. Shikamaru couldn't even wet them with his own tongue, as his mouth and throat also felt like he had been eating sand from the Land of Wind. He needed water, and badly, the feeling of thirst rising quickly.
Sounds touched his ears, but he had a hard time grasping them. Concentrating, he tried to listen, concluding they were voices. Shikamaru couldn't understand what they were saying, and he let out a quick breath, seeming to have grasped their attention.
"Hey, I think he's coming around."
"I'll get Lady Hokage."
Both were men, but he didn't recognize either. Maybe if he could just see them….
Shikamaru's eyelids were extremely heavy, and he struggled to part them, desperately wanting to see where he was. He had to confirm his existence, or lack there of. Slowly, his eyes opened, but at first he couldn't really see anything, just a mass of blurred objects. He blinked several times. The more he did that, the lighter his eyelids became and the clearer his vision got.
Finally, things started coming into focus. The Nara realized he was staring at the ceiling, its tiles almost causing his eyes to cross. He turned his head, which turned out to take a great deal of effort to do. His body was stiff, and he could feel his neck crack at the movement.
Standing several feet away from him was a ninja dressed in black and white attire, the mask of an animal covering the person's face.
"Welcome back," the Anbu shinobi said, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "Lady Tsunade is on her way. I don't want to stress you out, but she is going to want to know why you'd want to kill yourself."
Shikamaru's eyes slightly widened, and he averted his gaze. Flinching, he slowly turned his head in the other direction, staring at the drapes covering the windows.
The Anbu are here, Tsunade is on her way, and she wants to talk to him about suicide.
He had failed. Again.
The pain, however, didn't return like he figured it would. Maybe, if he dug deep enough, he could feel a dull ach residing in his chest, but that was about it. Although the rest of his body was stiff and hurting, Shikamaru was emotionally numb. He couldn't be happy, but the familiar sadness wasn't surrounding him, either. It was like his heart had been taken from him, leaving him to be an unfeeling, almost soulless, creature.
Maybe that was for the best.
The sound of the door opening caused him to turn again, finding the Hokage walking up to him. She shooed the Anbu from the room, as she sat on a stool beside the Nara's bed.
At first, the blonde said nothing, but looked him over like the medical genius she was. It was then he realized why he couldn't move. Shikamaru's hands and feet were sealed to his bed, as if they had feared he would try and harm himself as soon as he had awoken.
Sighing, he merely stared at the ceiling while Tsunade poked and prodded his body. He flinched when she pressed against his wrist, a sharp pain shooting up his arm.
"Tsk, still tender," she mumbled, probably just for herself, gently placing his heavily bandaged arm back down. Her gaze shifted to his own, sparks of concern and understanding and sadness filling her eyes. She sighed, pulling some strands of his loose hair from his face. "I don't suppose you'd like to tell me why you did this."
Shikamaru stared at her a moment. Shouldn't the Hokage have figured it out?
After a few moments of silence had passed, Tsunade whispered, "It was because of Neji Hyuga, wasn't it?"
He looked away, a fresh spark of pain and sadness shooting through his now present heart. What could he say? The reason was obvious, why waste his breath.
'Troublesome,' his mind supplied, hurt resonating from his chest, though it was hollow. All the different things he was feeling suddenly felt like a shell, encased around the nothingness residing within him. He had cracked. The pain from Neji's hurtful words had made his heart fill with pain and sorrow, causing it to overflow, to break.
It was no longer broken, but put back together in a very painful fashion, and was now empty. Shikamaru felt like he could never fill it again; he didn't want to. This stupid heart of his was far too troublesome to deal with. There would be no more of that.
There was another sigh beside him, and he again gazed at the Hokage. Her eyes had never left him, and the Nara somehow knew she figured out what he had been thinking. She leaned close to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.
"Don't give up," Tsunade whispered, giving him a small smile. She then stood, placing a hand on her hip. "Well, it looks like you're out of danger for the moment. I'll have you moved out of intensive care in the morning. Your parents will be glad to finally be able to see you."
Shikamaru's eyes widened. His parents? Of all the people in the world, besides the one who broke his heart, his mother and father were at the top of the list for people he defiantly did not want to see.
The Hokage's smile widened, as she placed two fingers on his temple. "Until then, sleep."
She had no sooner finished the sentence, than Shikamaru was once again surrounded by the never-ending darkness.
……………
Neji walked into the hospital, heart fluttering madly in nervousness, having just avoided Asuma leaving the building. Lady Tsunade had just informed him earlier that day that Shikamaru had finally woken up, and that he'd make a full recovery. Physically, anyway.
He knew the healing of the Nara's mental state would be much longer and tedious, and it was up to the older ninja to make it happen.
Neji was still uncertain of what he was going to say to the younger man. "I'm sorry," just didn't seem to cover it. He knew it never would.
After signing in, he headed toward Shikamaru's room. He stopped, however, at seeing his love's teammates walking down the hallway toward him. His blood ran cold, an unnatural fear slowly flowing through him. Those two were Shikamaru's best and most trusted friends. Neji just knew their reaction to the whole situation would not be pretty, especially toward him.
At first, it seemed like they didn't notice the Hyuga standing there, frozen in the hallway. However, Ino stopped in front of him, raising light blue orbs to shoot daggers at his white ones. Tears formed in her eyes as she looked up at him, brows drawn together in a fierce scowl.
Neji knew the attack was coming even before the blonde kunoichi moved, but did nothing to stop it. He merely took the slap across his face, head sharply turning to the side. The older ninja didn't even raise his hand to try and sooth the stinging sensation and throb away; he knew he had no real right to.
"How dare you show your face around here, Neji!" Ino hissed through clenched teeth. "Don't you think Shikamaru has had enough pain! This is all your fault!"
'I know.'
Neji just looked at the floor, knowing all that the woman said was true. He didn't deserve to defend himself, and hoped by taking the abuse that it would count as some kind of atonement toward them. He did, after all, hope to win Shikamaru back.
"Do you have any idea what you put him through!" Ino's voice was starting to rise, and a few tears escaped her fiery blue eyes. "He loved you, Neji! How could you just walk away from him like that!!" She looked like she was going to punch the Hyuga, but he still made no action to stop her.
Chouji was suddenly behind her, grabbing her fist before she had the chance to reach across the space between the two. "Ino!"
Neji wasn't sure if he'd ever seen the Akimichi's kind eyes so stern before. He stared hard at the blonde, who looked angrily at him for stopping what the Hyuga knew he only deserved.
"Enough," Chouji said, voice soft with a tone of pleading.
Ino looked at him a moment more, before loosening her fist and dropping it to her side. She inhaled deeply, blue eyes full of tears resting on the older man once more. "I hope you're fucking happy," she whispered, then brushed passed him, fiercely wiping the tears from her cheeks.
Neji turned a little and watched her disappear down the hall, Chouji standing beside him.
"You shouldn't have stopped her," the Hyuga said, the younger shinobi giving him a confused look. "She was right. I was blind to my own feelings and the feelings of Shikamaru. I was careless." His eyes drifted to the floor, guilt weighing heavily upon his heart. "…I'm sorry," he whispered.
A few minutes of silence passed, as Neji waited to receive the same treatment from the remaining member of team ten.
He was shocked as the only touch he received was not a punch or slap, but rather a warm, comforting hand on his shoulder. The older ninja looked to see Chouji smiling at him.
"I'm glad you came around," he said, squeezing his shoulder a little before releasing it. "Better late than never, I suppose."
Neji lowered his gaze again. "I'm sorry," he repeated. "I didn't think that Shikamaru would ever go this far."
The younger man brushed his apology away with a wave of his hand. "Don't apologize for that, Neji. None of us thought that Shikamaru would want to kill himself over it. I don't blame you for this."
The Hyuga raised his eyes to the other again. "You… don't?"
Chouji shook his head. "Even though you did break his heart, you didn't tell Shikamaru to kill himself. That choice was made by him, and him alone, even if it wasn't the smartest decision in the world."
"I understand that just because you're a genius, it doesn't make you a smart guy!"
Neji couldn't help the smile form on his lips as Kiba's words echoed in his mind. He was also very glad not everyone hated him for this. Sure, the Akimichi was upset that the Hyuga had broken his best friend, but didn't place the blame solely on him about the shadow wielder's actions.
His smile vanished, however, as another memory surfaced. It was something Lady Tsunade had told him when she had given him the location where his love had tried to end his life.
Clearing his throat, Neji whispered, "So you and Ino…. You found him?"
The smile disappeared from Chouji's features as well, eyes averting to the floor, face slightly paling. "…Yeah. Ino and I were at a club not too far down the road. See, we were going to take the shorter path through the village to get home, but we both decided to take the longer, more scenic route. I kinda like to look at the freshly fallen snow on the trees. Figured it'd be kinda romantic, ya know. Never thought we'd find…." He trailed off, taking in a long breath.
Neji could see more color draining from his face, eyes showing a spark of horror, as he recalled what they found.
The Hyuga gave the younger man a small smile. "It's a good thing, Chouji," he said, softly. "Shikamaru wouldn't have made it if you hadn't come across him."
The Akimichi returned the smile, although it was sad. Tears touched the edge of his eyes, but didn't fall. "I just wish we'd have found him sooner, before he… tried… anything."
The two shinobi stood there in comfortable silence for a few minutes. As the older man looked at the other, he noticed the circles forming under his eyes, which now looked tired. He also looked like he had possibly lost some weight, not something that could be accomplished within a couple days. 'It seems Shikamaru wasn't the only one suffering this passed month,' he mused, another pang of guilt running through his heart.
"Is Shikamaru allowed visitors?" Neji asked, breaking the silence, and not wanting to be able to fully analyze the condition of the other ninja.
Chouji smiled and nodded, although his eyes held a little bit of fear in them. "Yeah, he can have visitors, but…."
The Hyuga raised a curious eyebrow as the other looked down the hall. "…But?"
He chuckled a little nervously. "Well, Shikamaru's parents are in there now. I wouldn't suggest going to visit him at this moment."
The older shinobi nodded. It would be the courteous thing to do to let them talk, plus he did not feel like being castrated by one of Shikaku Nara's infamous shadow wielding techniques.
"Come on," Chouji said, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, guiding him down the hallway. "Let's get something to eat. The cafeteria here has some of the best food in the entire village!"
Neji lightly sighed, smiling, allowing the younger ninja to take him. He would be patient, and more than happy to wait until Shikamaru's parents were well out of the building before he tried to win back the man he loved.
……………
Shikamaru blinked. His eyes focused on the slightly parted curtains covering the windows. His mind swam for a moment at the quickness of the movement his head had just made. He was sitting up in his bed, hands folded across his lap. One reached up to rub at his now sore cheek. Slowly, he returned to his eyes to his parents, where they had been a moment before.
The shadow wielder's mother was standing beside his bed, eyes alive with fiery anger. Tearstains marred her cheeks, and more tears were quickly gathering in her orbs.
She never cried.
She never hit him. Until, that is, just a few moments before.
"How could you do this?!" his mother yelled, drops of moisture falling down her face. "Didn't you even think about us at all?! You could have died out there! Why would you want to throw your life away over something so fucking trivial, Shikamaru! I always thought you were smarter than that!" She turned away, great sobs shaking her seemingly delicate form, and his father wrapped his arms around her.
Shikamaru looked away, letting his hair hide his face. He figured something like that would happen, but he never thought his mother would have actually slapped him.
His chest tightened with pain and a wave of guilt washed over him. It was why he wanted to die. He didn't think his parents really knew the extent to which his broken heart reached. In the end, he didn't want to see them watch their son fall apart and become someone cold and bitter as he continued with his life. The Nara could see the disappointment in both their eyes whether he chose to live or die. Passing on would ensure that he would have been exempt from seeing their cold expressions.
Shikamaru's thoughts were interrupted as he heard the door open and close. He looked with his dark eyes to see his father standing on the other side of the room, hand on the door. His mother wasn't present any longer.
He could feel the cold hand of fear begin to squeeze his insides. It was true that his mother was very frightening, but he sure as hell didn't want to be alone in the same room with his father. The young ninja could handle his mother's screeching voice and heated gaze, but Shikaku Nara was a whole other situation.
Said man turned and walked over to his son, who swallowed and looked away. He didn't want to see his father's eyes, knowing what would be in them, and waited as the older ninja sat down, preparing for the inevitable 'coward' speech.
Shikamaru already had an answer to his father's words, but chose to let the other talk, anyway.
"Shikamaru," his father started, sighing when his son didn't turn to face him. "…Why? Why would you do such a cowardly thing? Of all the things you could have done, actions you could have taken, why suicide? It would have taken a while, but you would have healed, and been able to pursue someone else. Being hurt like you were… it just makes you stronger in the end, if you're willing to learn the lesson." He paused, his son still refusing to look at him. "Taking your own life… it's never the answer, Shikamaru. You'll only end up hurting more people around you. If you're successful… you will be forever branded as a coward, for it is the one true escape for the weak. I don't want that to happen to you, son."
At that, the young ninja finally turned to his father. Shikaku's gaze was full of sadness and disappointment, and he could swear there were dried tears still adorning the elder's cheeks.
Despite the pain pulling at his heart, Shikamaru's lips curled up in a small smile. His father's eyes widened a little as the younger turned away again. "…That might be true," Shikamaru replied, softly, "but my heart has been broken beyond repair. I knew that no matter which path I chose, no one would come out winning in the end."
His father cocked his head a little in silent question.
"If I did choose to live," the younger man continued, "I knew it would be an empty existence. My heart would be hollow, never trusting or loving another again. I would turn into a bitter person, never getting attached to anyone; I might even drift away from Chouji and Ino. I didn't want to see that happen, dad. I didn't want to see the pain in my friends' eyes, knowing they were feeling it because I couldn't feel for anyone anymore.
"That's why I chose death. The pain… it was too much for me. I couldn't stand another day without him, dad. I felt… like my life had ended the moment Neji walked away from me. I…." The younger man sighed, trying to control the onslaught of sadness and tears threatening to overtake him. "I didn't want to live the rest of my life… like I was already dead."
Shikamaru broke down, tears escaping his eyes that he still fought against. He was thankful his hair was down, his face hidden. He didn't want his father to see him like this, trembling and crying like a mere child.
The younger ninja was surprised at his father's patience, while he regained control over his emotions.
Sighing and wiping the tears off his cheeks, he looked at his father. Shikaku still gazed at him with his dark, intense eyes. He was leaning his chin on his folded hands, elbows propped firmly on his knees, knowing his son was not done speaking.
"I'd rather die a coward, than live a life with an empty and cold heart."
Silence filled the room, the two ninja merely staring at each other. Shikamaru knew his father was slowly processing what he'd said, and the younger Nara steeled his eyes, causing him to softly glare, showing he believed in his words.
Finally, Shikaku sighed, lowering his gaze before leaning back, slightly. "Should've figured as much," he whispered. The older man's eyes then locked onto his son once more. "And you're sure Neji would just have let that happen?"
Shikamaru's eyes widened in shock at the sudden question. "…Why wouldn't he?"
His father shrugged, averting his eyes to the window. "I just heard a rumor that the Inuzuka's are asking the Hyuga clan to reconsider the arrangement they have. Sounds like both Neji and Kiba don't want any part of it."
The younger man was stunned. There were no words on his tongue, nor any thoughts in his mind. Neji didn't want to marry into the Inuzuka clan, like he'd been told to. But that didn't make any sense; Neji always did what the main branch of the Hyuga clan asked of him. That was his duty, wasn't it? Why would he…?
His eyes looked down at his hands in his lap. Both his wrists were bound with bandages. Surly, this was not the reason his ex-lover had changed his mind. He had dumped Shikamaru with such ease; how could one little act while drifting down a dark and sorrowful path change the mind of the one he loved?
There was a warm hand on his shoulder, and the shocked man looked at his father, who was smiling.
"I think Neji does care for you, Shikamaru," he said, tone comforting. "Just give him a little time."
At that moment, there was a small rap on the door, which slid open immediately afterwards.
Shikamaru's eyes grew wider, his heart pounding within his chest, as Neji Hyuga stood in the doorway, an equally shocked expression on his features.
'…How can he still be so beautiful?' the Nara wondered, before he quickly pushed the thought away. Now was not the time to be ogling the person who dropped his ass faster than either of them could throw a kunai.
Shikaku smiled, standing. "I'll leave you two alone," he announced, walking to the door.
Despite what he had thought earlier, the younger man now wished his father would stay. He didn't want to face the man he loved in this condition with no one he could get comfort from.
Neji looked at Shikamaru's father, as he strode toward him, not entirely sure if he should be afraid or not, despite the older man's smile.
The Hyuga was shocked as Shikaku placed his hands on the younger ninja's shoulders. "He's all yours," he whispered, before gently guiding him into the room and exiting, shutting the door behind him.
Neji stood there, dumbstruck for a moment. Chouji and himself had seen Shikamaru's mother leave the hospital a little while earlier, and his love's best friend told him the coast would be clear for him. He had no idea how they could have forgotten Shikaku, and Neji was sure, as soon as he saw the man sitting in the room, he was most likely gazing at the last thing he'd ever see. But no, the man hadn't killed him, hadn't even struck the ninja who had broken his son. Shikaku had merely smiled.
Pushing back the confusion that caused, Neji released a long breath, turning back to Shikamaru. His heart convulsed at what he saw.
The shadow wielder was very pale, his complexion almost matching Sasuke Uchiha. He also looked thinner since he last saw him. The younger didn't quite look emaciated, but he was well on his way. The muscular, yet slender physique he had was gone, making his arms look long and gangly, along with the rest of his body.
Neji lightly shook his head, halting the low power use of his Byakugan, and walked across the room, taking the seat his love's father had just been in moments ago.
This was where his eyes widened, chest twisting in pain. Shikamaru's eyes… were dark. A lot darker than he remembered. He appeared to be broken, empty, as the Hyuga could see a dark, hollow nothingness swirling within those dark orbs. They no longer looked at him tenderly, but were sharp, piercing his heart with more guilt.
"Well, come on," Shikamaru suddenly said.
Neji blinked, focusing on his love's face. He looked angry, an unattractive and unnatural scowl on his features. "What?"
The other sighed, looking away, seeming to not want to waste his breath. "You came here to yell at me, right? Stop wasting my time. Call me a coward for what I did, I'll just tell you the same thing I told my father."
The Hyuga could have sworn he heard a mumbled, "troublesome," beneath the other's breath, but ignored it.
Leaning back in the chair, a small smile came to his lips. "If I called you that, then it would only grant me the title of hypocrite."
Shikamaru's eyes darted to him, surprise in his gaze. "…What do you mean?"
Neji sighed, pushing the words from his mouth. "I guess I could be considered a coward as well. I ignored the feelings I had for you, and refused to acknowledge what you had for me. Instead of following my heart, I stubbornly followed my uncle's request without blinking. I shouldn't have done so, Shikamaru."
The younger ninja flinched at the sound of his name and looked away.
The Hyuga would have none of that, however, and sat on the edge of the bed, turning his love's face back to him by placing a hand on his cheek. He ignored the coolness of his skin and stared into those empty eyes.
"I'm sorry, Shikamaru," he whispered. "I'm so very sorry I hurt you, that I was the reason why you were driven to suicide. I'm sorry I yelled at you. I'm sorry I never considered your feelings toward me. I'm just… so sorry." Tears came to his eyes, and Neji rested his head on the younger man's shoulder. "I'm sorry… I never told you… I love you, Shikamaru."
'…This can't be real,' Shikamaru thought, the Hyuga's words echoing in his mind. Neji was sorry. He wanted forgiveness. He wanted Shikamaru.
The shadow wielder could feel the familiar sting of tears in his eyes, and he found he could not fight them. They fell freely down his face, onto his love's hand still lightly massaging his cheek.
The older man sat up in slight alarm at the moisture touching his skin. His tear-filled, white eyes looked at him with concern. "Shikamaru?"
'How can this be real?' he wondered again, taking the hand on his cheek into his own, lowering his gaze.
Neji had come back to him. Neji loved him. His heart began swelling with the familiar warmth only the man beside him made him feel. A small, quiet voice somewhere in the back of his mind warned him not to fall for it, that this man would drop him again if it suited him.
Shikamaru's heart didn't listen, somehow knowing the Hyuga was never going to leave again. The shadow wielder sided with the warmth, as it chased away the darkness and sorrow. He felt the comforting sensation begin flowing through his body, and he loved the happiness that arose from it all.
'This is real. He is real.'
The tears continued, and he squeezed Neji's hand, who returned the gesture.
"Shikamaru?" the older man called again, and this time, the shadow wielder raised his tear stained face to him, smiling at the other.
"I love you, Neji," he said, a little surprised the words came out so strong.
The Hyuga's face brightened, a smile also tugging his lips, before he brought them onto Shikamaru's in a passionate kiss.
The Nara returned it, one hand reaching to the back of the other's head, pulling him closer as their tongues began to battle each other.
Neji had forgotten how much he liked the younger ninja's lips. They were fluid and tasted sweet, and his tongue was no different. However, he needed more. He had to show Shikamaru that he truly loved him, in the only way he knew how.
Gently, he pressed the Nara back onto the bed, hands running over the shirt he wore, wanting to tear it off.
Shikamaru broke the kiss, looking up at his love with a little confusion. "Neji?"
Said ninja only smiled. "I would like to physically show you that I love you, Shikamaru. I know I don't deserve it, but may I?"
Some color came to the younger man's cheeks, and he glanced at the door. "Neji, we're in a hospital."
Neji chuckled. "Doesn't that just add a little excitement to it?"
The Nara smiled as well, shrugging. "Okay. Why the hell not?"
Immediately, the Hyuga captured his love's lips again, keeping them locked together as long as possible. They only broke apart to get some much-needed air or discard a piece of clothing, which was quickly piling up on the floor.
In a matter of minutes, Neji was finally lying on top of Shikamaru's delicious body once again, although he silently vowed to be sure the ninja squirming beneath him gained back all the weight he'd lost.
They kissed tenderly, bodies rubbing up against each other, soft noises escaping them. The two stayed like that for several minutes, but both realized they didn't have a whole lot of time; a nurse, or worse Tsunade, could come walking through that door anytime.
Shikamaru grabbed his love's wrist, bringing his hand to his mouth when he broke away from those delectable lips. He took three fingers into his mouth, licking and sucking them a little hurriedly, watching his lover the whole time.
Neji's eyes were clouded over with lust, as he stared at the younger ninja driving him crazy with his tongue.
After a few moments, the Hyuga pulled his hand away, lowering them to his love's entrance, where he began stretching him. Keeping their lips locked together, he swallowed the small sounds the shadow wielder made, making sure he felt nothing but pleasure.
Preparing him quickly, Neji soon placed his erection at Shikamaru's entrance. He then went very slowly, carefully penetrating his lover, keeping his gaze locked on his face.
The Nara was biting down on a finger, trying to quiet the noises he desperately wanted to make. He wanted his love to hear how it made him feel. 'Damn it, he's going too slow!' Not wanting to make a lot of noise and wasting his breath, Shikamaru looked up at his love with eyes filled with love and lust.
It was the only warning the older had, before legs were wrapped tightly around his waist and the younger ninja's hips bucked. Neji almost groaned at the action, but got the message, and began thrusting quickly, but gently, into his lover.
Their bodies began gleaming with a thin sheet of sweat, their breaths coming in gasps.
All too soon, Shikamaru could feel his climax approaching, and he gripped his love tighter. "N-Neji," he gasped out, "I'm g-going to—" His words were cut off as a strong hand began pumping his erection quickly.
He buried his face into the Hyuga's shoulder, stifling his cry as he came, finding he missed the white euphoria he always felt when having sex with Neji.
'Making love,' he corrected himself, as he felt the older ninja release inside of him. 'We make love together, now.'
Neji panted heavily as he came down from his orgasm, gently removing himself from the man beneath him. He raised himself on his elbows and looked into the warm and loving gaze of the Nara. "I love you," he whispered.
Shikamaru's smile widened. "Love you back," he mumbled, before his eyes fluttered shut, and he drifted to sleep.
The Hyuga chuckled. His love still hadn't fully recovered from the blood loss yet. Any kind of strenuous activity would make him pass out.
Slowly, he rose from the bed and cleaned them off, before dressing Shikamaru, making sure not to wake him. He then dressed himself, silently not being able to wait to get the younger man home, where he could show him properly just how much he loved him.
He gazed at his lover's sleeping form for a few moments, wishing he could be there when he awoke. The thought rushed through his mind quickly, almost in a panic. 'What if he wakes up and thinks it was just a dream?'
Neji silently cursed, glancing around for a pen and paper, something to leave so Shikamaru would know what happened was real, and that he would return. His brain could only come to one conclusion, the only thing the older man could leave.
He smiled, removing his headband, placing it on the table beside his love. He then was able to find a scrap piece of paper and a pen, and wrote simply, although cheesy, 'I will return, my love.' He placed the note against his headband, his eyes locking on his sleeping lover once again. The Hyuga stared a moment more, before silently leaving the room. He walked down the halls; smile forever plastered on his face, a warm fuzziness spreading all over his body. Neji couldn't suppress it, even if he wanted to, which granted him some odd looks from the people he passed.
The Hyuga stepped into the cafeteria for a moment, to see Chouji was still there, sitting with Shikaku. They both looked over at him and waved, his love's father giving him a knowing smirk.
He blushed and looked away, returning the greeting.
"I figured you'd be here."
Neji turned to the familiar voice and saw Kiba walking up to him. He couldn't keep the smile from his face, even from the Inuzuka, who gave him a bit of a confused look. Then his nostrils flared and he also smiled.
"Good to see ya made up with Shikamaru!" Kiba said, a little too loudly.
The Hyuga cleared his throat. "Did you need something, Kiba?" he asked, quite surprised at how sweet his voice sounded. Was it always going to be like that?
The dog tamer blinked a moment; smile widening. "Uh, my mom told me to get you. There's a meeting being held to discuss alternate arrangements between our clans."
Neji nodded. "Lead the way." He followed the younger ninja out of the hospital. That damned smile wouldn't leave his lips, and it almost caused his uncle a heart attack, he was sure.
The negotiations went by without any trouble, with Neji being able to choose who he wanted to spend his life with. After seeing his expression while talking about Shikamaru, he figured nobody wanted to take him away again.
It didn't matter, though. The Nara was his, and would be for the rest of his life. Ino forgave him, after a long talk with Shikamaru and Chouji, and even the rest of his friends saw it as something that happened in the past, and didn't need to be brought up again.
Even now, as Neji held Shikamaru in his arms, he couldn't stop the smile, as it curled his lips. "I love you," he whispered, gently kissing the younger ninja's forehead.
Shikamaru mumbled, sleepily, "Mmm. Love you back." He snuggled closer to the warmth surrounding him, and they fell asleep together, both their hearts overflowing, but knowing they would never break again.
A/N: Please Review!!! PLEASE!!! I love the feed back!! This may not be the last, but another "Gentle-Fist" won't be showing up for a while yet. (My muses are exhausted!!) But again please tell me how or what you liked!!