Gentle-Fist Massage V: Life of Shinobi

Part 1: "Enter the Cold"

A violent shudder ran up Shikamaru's spine, throwing him out of slumber in an unpleasant way. 'Why is it so fucking cold?!' he thought bitterly, snuggling deeper under the covers. One of his arms instinctively reached for the love of his life on the other side of the bed and was disappointed when all he grasped were cool sheets.

He lifted his head and glared at the empty pillow beside him. His sleepy mind supplied the reminder that Neji was away on a mission, causing another shiver down his spine. His heart began beating a little faster, worry heavy in his mind.

Shikamaru pushed it aside. He'd always felt like that ever since his lover had been enlisted into the Anbu.

Sighing heavily, the Nara got out of bed; it was almost time to get up, anyway. He quickly darted to the shower, not understanding why he felt so cold. It was near the end of summer, chilly nights and cool mornings wouldn't be coming to Konoha for another month at least. He turned on the water and jumped under the almost scorching liquid. It warmed his skin and he released a shuddering breath at the comfort it brought.

Shikamaru wasn't sure if he should know that his love was in the secret band of ninja, but it had been Neji who told him. Whenever the Hyuga left on a mission, the shadow wielder worried for him. He knew his lover was an excellent shinobi and it would take quite a bit to harm him, but…. The Nara supposed it was just one of those spousal things, even though they weren't technically married… yet.

Ever since the… incident almost a year ago, now, when Shikamaru had almost killed himself, he and Neji had referred to each other as "husband" every so often. It wasn't until a few months ago that the Hyuga proposed to the shadow wielder.

He smiled at the memory, rinsing the shampoo from his hair. It hadn't been anything extravagant or romantic. It was just Neji's way, not even asking the "proper" question, more like softly commanding. Shikamaru couldn't have said no if he wanted to. He loved the Hyuga too much to simply remain "boyfriends."

Making sure all the soap had been washed from his body, the shadow wielder turned off the water and stepped out of the shower stall, immediately missing the heat. He wrapped the big, fluffy towel around his cold body and dried off.

Tossing the soaked cloth onto the floor, he exited the bathroom and darted to the dresser, quickly placing clothing onto his clean skin. It did little to warm him completely, but was enough so he wasn't trembling. On the way to the door, he stopped to glance at a picture sitting on the desk, as was his usual custom.

Only it wasn't there.

Shikamaru raised a curious eyebrow at seeing the frame lying on the floor. It held a photo of him and Neji at one of the many parties that had been held in the past. He kneeled on the floor and picked it up. The metal frame was slightly bent and the glass was completely shattered on one side, obliterating the view of Neji. Long, spider web-like cracks reached across the Nara in the picture, distorting his smiling face into a look of sadness.

Shikamaru didn't believe in superstitions.

He sighed and placed the damaged frame back on the desk. He knew he had another empty frame somewhere and his eyes gazed over the many boxes still piled in the room.

Since their engagement, the Nara's parents had given him and Neji one of the cottages built on the Nara estate. It had a great view of the forest they protected and easy access to the deer, which were always wandering around.

He looked at the clock and decided that he'd search later; the shadow wielder didn't want to piss off Iruka by being late to the Academy… again.

Leaving the house, he walked at a steady pace into the village, still wondering why the hell he was so cold. The temperature couldn't have been less than sixty-five and he knew that was plenty warm enough. So why the fuck did he want to go back to his house and grab a winter sweater?! He suppressed another shudder as a gust of wind passed him, taking whatever body heat he did have and leaving him feeling colder than before.

Several minutes later, Shikamaru was making the final approach to the Ninja Academy, surprised he didn't freeze to death on the way.

As he reached to open the door, a warm hand touched his shoulder. The Nara turned to see his old jonin teacher standing behind him.

"Hey there, Asuma," the shadow wielder greeted.

The older man was silent as he gazed at the young chunin with a sad expression. His eyes looked away after a moment, settling somewhere over the Nara's shoulder, and he lightly sighed.

A dark eyebrow rose up in curiousity. "Is something wrong, Asuma?" Shikamaru asked.

The jonin's orbs closed for a minute before he locked gazes with his ex-student again. "The Hokage would like to see you," he whispered.

The Nara nodded, ignoring the heavy lurch his heart made and the swirling of dread behind his bellybutton. He walked in silence alongside the jonin, not wanting to pry out of the man what was going on; if the Hokage herself had told him not to say a word about it, Asuma Sarutobi would abide by her wishes.

Together they went to the top of Hokage Tower and stopped at her office door. The Nara knocked and was ordered inside. He entered, but his former teacher didn't follow; he merely shut the door behind the younger man, shooting him a gloomy look.

Shikamaru placed that in the back of his mind and stood before the old woman's desk.

Tsunade had her hands folded together, fingers twitching slightly as she gazed at a pile of papers lying in front of her. Her eyes held a pensive look while dark flashes flicked around, making the Nara's heart skip a beat. Something wasn't right.

She sighed heavily, leaning back in her big chair, orbs looking up at the shadow wielder with a sad expression. "I have some bad news," she said slowly.

Shikamaru maintained her gaze, ignoring the thoughts racing through his mind. All her mannerisms doubled with how she spoke and the way his former sensei had acted all brought his strategic brain to a single conclusion, but he refused to believe it. Nothing would make him consider such a thing.

"As you probably know," she continued, "Neji's status is Anbu, thus I cannot tell you anything specific about the mission he was assigned. However, what I can say is that he and his squad… ran into trouble." The Hokage stared into his eyes a moment more before she stood. She grabbed a bundle of cloth from the desk and walked around it, coming to stand before the Nara without breaking eye contact. She gently grabbed one of his wrists, forcing his hand from the warm confines of a pocket and placed the bundle on his open palm. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

Shikamaru looked at her for a long while, searching for the lie he knew he'd never find. His dark eyes slowly trailed down to the cloth within his hand and he brought his other out of his pocket and began unwrapping the bundle very carefully.

The dark piece of fabric fell away, and he found himself holding a Konoha headband. After a closer inspection, he realized it was Neji's.

The Nara's heart began beating a little faster and his hand trembled. There was only one reason why his lover's headband wouldn't be on its owner. Neji was—

'No!' he thought. 'It… it can't be!'

"Shikamaru?"

The shadow wielder's gaze shot up to the Hokage, breaths quick and uneven. "Show me the body," he ordered, tone stern.

The older blonde lightly shook her head. "Shikamaru, I don't think—"

"Show me the body!" the Nara snapped, barely able to hold back the tears threatening the corners of his eyes.

Tsunade sighed, gazing at him a long moment before nodding and heading out of her office, Shikamaru right on her heels.

It couldn't be true; he didn't want to believe it. Why would he? He couldn't give up just because of one person's word and a discarded headband. Anbu missions were top secret to anybody below those who worked with them; anything could have happened! How did they know that the body they had was really the person they claimed it to be? The Nara's mind was coming up with all kinds of explanations to make this information false, even if some of them were completely outrageous.

He clutched the headband tightly in his hand. He refused to believe it.

Shikamaru followed the Hokage down to the morgue, just a few buildings away from the Tower. The hallways were poorly lit, and he figured it was because this area was mostly traveled by the Anbu, 'and the mourners.'

'Shut up!' he spat at the stray thought.

Finally, they stopped at a door. Shikamaru's heart was pounding heavily within his chest, filling his ears with a loud throbbing and causing his breathing to slightly increase. He clenched and unclenched his free hand in what he believed to be anxiousness. All he wanted to do was go in there, tell them that wasn't his lover and leave to find Neji waiting for him at home. End of story.

Tsunade opened the door and they entered.

The room was just as dark as the hallways, only an oil lamp casting an eerie glow upon the sheet covering a motionless corpse on the table.

Shikamaru's heart felt like it was trying to break free from his ribs, and he was sure the Hokage and two other Anbu standing in the room could hear it as he walked up to the table.

The blonde nodded to one of the Anbu and it moved to pull back the sheet; the Nara holding his breath as the face was uncovered.

Several long and silent moments passed. The Nara wondered where all the noise had gone that he had just heard seconds ago. His dark eyes were wide as he gazed at the too pale face of the person he loved most in the world. His eyes were closed and his expression was peaceful. Some stray blood was spattered across his cheek, looking as if to come from his shoulder, but the shadow wielder couldn't see.

The man lying on the table looked like he would come to life at any moment, but the Nara now realized that wasn't possible. The wrappings around his head had been removed and his forehead was bare. The curse that had been placed upon him by the Hyuga clan was no longer present on his too pale skin. That only happened when….

'…When the bearer of the curse dies.'

Shikamaru brought his free hand up and slowly cupped the man's cheek, flinching when he touched the dead flesh. '…so cold.' He gently massaged the skin and felt a shiver run down his spine. 'He's dead,' he thought, the voice within his mind soft. 'He's gone.'

"…Neji…" he whispered.

As soon as the word left his lips, the Nara's heart suddenly began beating within his chest at a frantic pace once more while all the blood drained from his face. The double action was too much for his body and Shikamaru suddenly fell into darkness, the last thing he saw was Neji's peaceful expression in death.