A/N: I need to buy more D.N. Angel manga. I only have up to vol. 6, it's so pathetic! But I never have money… and I can't find it online to read on the manga websites I know… so I'm stuck re-reading the same scenes/chapters over and over. Just today? I had the urge to look over all the SatoshiXDaisuke-themed scenes. Thus, this oneshot was born.
To him, it seemed they collided far too much.
In the doorway. On the stairwell. Against the wall. In museums. Outside the school. On field trips. And once, even in his home.
Satoshi hated it. He wished he would've chosen someone else. Someone who's not involved in the problem. Daisuke did that; first Risa, then Riku. Two girls who weren't subjects in the battle between two clans, cursed (or blessed?) with so-called 'angels' in the sons every generation. Why couldn't he have been as smart? Why did the tamer of his enemy have to be the one he fell in love with?
He tried so hard not to. Satoshi tried to distance himself, to remember that he gold Krad and that Daisuke holds Dark, that they were opposites and could never be friends or otherwise.
Yet Daisuke proved him wrong. Daisuke never wanted to fight. He was always kind, and always stopped Dark or Krad when they went too far. He cared about Satoshi, and called him his friend. But Satoshi couldn't understand how. 'How can you be thankful to the person who hurt you?' he had asked in the woods on that field trip seemingly so long ago. 'How? How can you smile at the person who…?' He wondered what it would take to make Daisuke see the big picture. 'I didn't want to hurt you… I don't want to hurt you!'
He wasn't allowed to have anything – nay, anyone – important to him. that way, Krad could never have full control.
But he made a mistake.
And now, the person most important to him was paying the price.
Satoshi hated it. He hated that he held feelings for the redhead. He hated that Krad so was damn evil, despite the color of his feathered wings. Satoshi also hated that Daisuke didn't care how hurt he was, merely asked, 'Are you okay? Are you alright?'
One afternoon, Satoshi shut himself away in his bedroom and thought about this. Krad was either asleep or ignoring him, and the silver-blue-haired boy was thankful of that. It allowed him some freedom of thought without interruption.
He wanted to punch something. Why couldn't he have stayed concealed in ice, a cold-shouldered figure who merely watched with a blank face and blanker feelings? Things would've been so much easier that way.
"But nothing is ever easy," he reminded himself. Satoshi exhaled exaggeratedly and slumped against his bedroom wall. His hands dangled from his bent knees, and his bare toes scrunched in the carpet. "Actually… things would be simpler – not easier, but simpler – if he felt the same way in return. Then Krad would disappear, just as Dark would if Daisuke's feelings are returned for the one he treasures."
That's not possible, however. And Satoshi knew that. He knew that no matter how hard he tried, even if he abandoned every last one of his pretenses and attempted to get Daisuke to love him, Daisuke wouldn't go along with it. Not only does he love someone else, he loves a girl, which means he would probably never have the thought of another guy cross his mind.
So the spectacled boy was trapped, doomed to carry unrequited love and the burden of a rather demonic angel bent on destroying Dark or something similar to that.
Despite everything, Satoshi was weak like any other human being. Whenever he was with Daisuke, he couldn't entirely forget the war between them, but he came close. He felt so many wonderful and terribly things at once when he was around the fourteen-year-old, and when they spent time together it was a memory made and saved for later reference.
Satoshi closed his eyes and remembered a moment from the other day…
Lately, he had been eating lunch with Daisuke since Daisuke insisted. Normally he had only bread to eat, not caring much about what he ate so long as he did, but since he's been sitting with Daisuke the redhead would share nearly half of his large lunch. He said his mother always made him too much, so he didn't mind.
It was this one time that Daisuke brought nothing but desserts for lunch. "Whoa. Why'd she pack all this?" he had mumbled to himself. He looked happy to have it, but also confused.
"Perhaps it's her way of celebrating another victory for you and Dark," Satoshi had replied a bit grumpily.
Daisuke had shrugged. "Well, I'm not about to complain! This looks delicious. You want to taste it with me? We can each have half of everything," he offered.
Satoshi had hesitated. He wasn't as fond of sweets as Daisuke. In the end, he decided a little sugar never hurt anybody and took a bite of a three-layered cake with bananas and strawberries in it. It wasn't too sweet, and the cake was airy. It tasted pretty good.
He glanced over at Daisuke, who was currently eating a bite of the chocolate mousse pie in his lunchbox. "Mm, you have to try this, Satoshi! It's so creamy," he said.
Satoshi hadn't cared about how it tasted; he was more focused on the smudge of chocolate that had accidentally gotten on Daisuke's nose that the redhead was clearly unaware of.
This gets to be the part of the memory that Satoshi cursed at. For next, he had moved without thinking, and cupped Daisuke's face in his hand, wiping the chocolate off with his thumb. Daisuke, being the effortlessly embarrassed type, had blushed. It took all Satoshi had in him then not to lean in and kiss Daisuke, whom he noticed was always irresistible when tinting pink. But if he had kissed Daisuke, he would've surely turned into Krad. So, at the time, he simply removed his hand and stood and left, leaving Daisuke blinking and puzzled.
Back to the present, Satoshi shook his head at himself. A friend would've moved passed the moment and eaten more of the treats to fill the awkwardness. But he was no friend; he had to keep reminding himself of that fact. But it was hard when Daisuke kept acting so friendly. He was such a good person; much better than Satoshi himself. Daisuke never hurt others; although he did occasionally leave without explanation, he couldn't help it due to Dark.
Still…
"'Still' what? There's nothing I can do. And I should stop doing the things I do follow through on. I'm only torturing myself in the end, no matter how I look at it."
Yes, he would have been better off concealed in ice, he was sure of that.
But he was so addicted to being with Daisuke and capturing Dark that he refused to try and take it all back now. He was stuck with consequences of his decisions and actions. And the only sliver of Satoshi had was to keep aiming for the 'bright' future, even if he didn't know what it held in store for him.
Or Daisuke, for that matter.