Me: (holding paper with questions written on it) And we're back!

Pein: (sarcastically) Oh, how very exciting. Like I don't have anything better to do as future ruler of the world then listen to stupid fan's questions. (he peeks curiously at the sheet).

Me: (holding paper to my chest) Wait till I read them!

Me: Here's the first question:

okay well i have a Question for Itachi, Deidara, and Sasori

okay Itachi: what do you think about Uchiha-Cest(SasukeXITachi)
Deidara: i have to say i disagree with you on what you think art is i think it should last for ever. and i also wanted to know how long it took you to grow your hair so long
and Sasori: okay well i agree with you 100 with you that art should last for ever and not just last a couple seconds. and i want to know what its liek beaing a puppet and if its so great to last for ever becuase in the end you ned up loesing everyone anyways so whats the poing if you just get hurt every time soem one passes?

Pein: WHAT! NONE FOR ME! YOU LITTLE BITCH!

Kakuzu and Hidan: Well, if she likes Sai, she must be queer.

Me: Why? Last time I checked, Sai was a boy.

Itachi: Why the hell were you 'checking' Sai in that area?

Me: (flicking his forehead protector) Shut up, Itachi!

Me: Anyway, it's possible she's straight. Sai is a boy.

Deidara: A gay boy.

Konan: You idiot! If a girl likes a gay guy, she's not gay!

Deidara: Her tastes are.

Sai: What are you all talking about?

All: Ahhhhhhh!

Me: Sai! What the bloody hell are you doing here.

Sai: Honestly, I have no idea.

Me: Well…that's odd….

Sai: (looking at the cookies in Tobi's hand) Are you going to eat those?

Tobi: COOKIE THEIF! COOKIE THIEF!

Me: Everybody calm down!

Zetsu: I believe we have some questions to answer.

Pein: (grumpily) Some of us have questions to answer.

Me: Pein, I gave my only tampon to Konan. You'll have to wait your turn, however many cramps you get, it doesn't give you the right to be mean to us.

Pein: (glaring) I'm starting to regret this whole 'cookie' deal.

Tobi: Why doesn't Tobi have any questions? What did Tobi do wrong? Was Tobi…a…a…bad boy?

Me: No Tobi, it's not like that! You're a good boy, you really-

Tobi: (shrieking and crying) NOOOOOO! TOBI IS A BAD BOY! (he runs out of the room, crying.)

Hidan: Well that was…erm…

Deidara: Weird as shit?

Hidan: Yeah, that works.

Me: Well, guys, Zetsu is right. We should answer those questions.

Sai: Questions?

Me: Fans are asking questions, and they are answering them.

Sai: Really? That's stupid.

Me: Thank you for those words of optimism. Would you like to answer questions, too? I'm sure somebody must like you, unlike Zetsu.

Zetsu: (grumbling) Bastard…

Sai: No. I would not like to.

Me: Will you?

Sai: Yes, I will. But for now…(reaches into pocket and pulls out sketch pad)…I will draw.

Kisame: What you draw body. Porn? Blood?

Sai: People and their respective emotions.

Sasori (coughing) Gay!

Me: Okay, the first questions for you, Itachi.

Itachi: Uchiha-cest?

Me: Yup.

Itachi: I find it utterly repulsive, to tell you the truth. Me and Sasuke? Please, I'm sooo prettier then that loser.

Kisame: Then why do you have those pictures under your bed?

Itachi: (blushing) I don't know what you're talking about!

Kisame: You know. All those pictures of Sasuke naked, and Sasuke taking showers, and then there's that one where you pasted a naked picture of yourself on top of a picture of Sasuke sleepin-

Itachi: Shut up!

Akatsuki: (snickers).

Me: Well there you go, Sai. Itachi seems to have a little crush on Sasuke.

Itachi: I DO NOT! I'M TOO SEXY FOR HIM!!!!

Sai: Why are you talking to me?

Me: Erm…I'm talking to the other Sai.

Sai: There are two Sai's?

Me: Yeah.

Sai: Weird………………

Deidara: (grumpily) The next one's for me. To tell you the truth, Sai, I don't give a shit about your opinion on my art. Maybe you'd understand my way of thinking better if I made some art for you. Personally. (evil grin)

Me: Deidara! Don't be so mean to Sai! At least he/she reviewed!

Deidara: Bite me. He or she is probably some crazed fangirl. I refuse to answer the next question.

Sasori: It didn't take him long. That hair isn't genuine; he shaved it off the rest of his body, fused it together and glued it to his head.

Deidara: You…you…bastard!

Sasori: Well it's true. And I'd like to personally say it's disgusting when you shave in the shower and don't clean it up.

All: Ewwwww!

Sasori: I mean, seriously. Yesterday, were those leg hairs or pubes or-

All: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!

Kisame: TMI! TMI!

Me: I agree, Sasori. TMI.

Sasori: Anyway, thank you, Sai. At least you have good tastes in art, unlike (glaring at Deidara) others…

Orochimaru: What's going on here?

All: AHHHHHHHHH!

Pein: Jesus Christ! Get out of my base you slut!

Me: Oh God. And things were going so fine for a second…

Orochimaru: Slut? That's the best you can come up with?

Itachi: (venomously) You are a slut. You tried to steal my body!

Orochimaru: I don't need your body. Your little brother has skills that far surpass yours.

Itachi: I highly doubt that.

Orochimaru: You haven't seen him in bed. OH!

Itachi (blushing slightly out of jealousy) You are a pedophile.

Orochimaru: And you paint your nails.

Kisame: (butting in) Well…you're just…just…a poopy-head!

Orochimaru: …………………………….Are you serious?……………………………….

Kisame: (blushing) I'm not that smart.

Orochimaru: Obviously. You're an idiot.

Kisame: You're gay.

Orochimaru: You're BLUE!!!

Kisame (crying) Why does everybody judge me! WHY!

Me: (to Orochimaru) Now you've done it!

Kisame: I'm a real person! It doesn't matter what I look like! What matters is what's in my heart! (begins to run away)

Orochimaru: (calling) Get that off a cereal box!

Kisame: (sobbing) OPRAH! I GOT IT OFF ORPAH! (disappears)

Orochimaru: (to all) You guys get Oprah here?

Hidan: Hell yeah!

Orochimaru: Bummer. Ever since I moved to my new headquarters…the reception just hasn't been going well.

Konan: Bummer…have you tried adjusting the antennae?

Orochimaru: Yeah.

Deidara: Hit the TV. That's what I do. It works!

Orochimaru: I'll try that, thanks!

Kakuzu: Doesn't matter, Ellen's better.

Me: Shit yes! Ellen owns!

Itachi: She is pretty funny, but sometimes, she's just kind of…you know?

Zetsu: Over perky?

Itachi: Exactly!

Orochimaru: Plus she's a lesbian. (a general murmur of agreement follows)

Sai: I like Dr. Phil. (stunned silence follows)

Sasori: (to Deidara) Told you he was queer!

Me: GUYS!!! It is impossible to keep you on topic. Finish the bloody questions!

Sasori: Sigh…..fine. Yeah, well, Sai, I commend you for your art tastes. However, I must call you a fucking dipshit for what you said next.

Me: What did I just say Sasori! Treat the reviewers nicely!

Sasori: Well she is! Honestly, I mean, why do I care about "people passing before me?" I could care less when somebody dies. I made the Third Kazekage and my parents into puppets! Honestly, I wish you were all dead right now!

Me: That was rude!

Sasori: Not my problem.

Orochimaru: Ooooh! (eyes lighting up as if a naked ten year old boy had just strode past) We're answering questions? Can I join?

Me: Sure. I'm sure there are some…interesting…questions people could think up for you.

Orochimaru: And do I get anything from this?

Me: (lifting the lid to my cookie jar, and seeing nothing but crumbs, I make a desperate proposal) You could sleep-over here.

Orochimaru: Oooooh. How delightful! (groans from the rest follow)

Itachi (mumbling to Hidan) I'm taping my butt-hole shut tonight.

Orochimaru: (wickedly) Tape won't stop me!

Itachi: Ughhhh!

Me: Can we please finish the questions?

Sasori: (tiredly) Fine. What's it like being a puppet? Well, as you can see (gestures to body) I'm not in one right now. I'm going for the twenty some year old red hair look.

Me: Answer the question!

Sasori: Well, it's kind of fun. You never sweat, never get out of breath, never have to eat, never have to bathe…

All: Ewwwwww!

Sai: (out of nowhere) How's the sex? (stunned looks follow)

Sasori: Um…well…you see…um…

Deidara: He's got a dick made out of metal!

Most (furious laughter)

Me: (to Konan) Man, I feel sorry for you.

Konan (sighing) Yeah. I feel sorry for me, too.

Me: Well, that's a wrap for now. Honestly, guys. 1 review! Thank you Sai, ask as many more questions as you can! As for the rest of you (shoots dirty looks) REVIEW! Or else Orochimaru will rape you.

Orochimaru: I'll do that either way,

Me: Yes…well…erhrm…regardless…please review, or else this story doesn't work. Maybe you could try to get some new characters in by asking about them.

Pein: Or not. There's already way to many as it is.

Me: That's funny, Pein, I don't remember asking you.

Pein: That's funny, Axel, I don't remember caring.

Me: Yes, well you could also try to coax Tobi and Kisame out of their rooms, or drag Pein out of the 24/7/365 period schedule he's on. But until then, bye!

All but Sai and Orochimaru: BYE!!!!!

Sai: (loudly to Orochimaru, who is whispering in his ear) Why do you want my address?

Orochimaru: So I can mail you a post card!

Sai: Well, Ok, but why do you need to know what bed I sleep in for that?

Me: Uhg!!! The things I do for you guys. REVIEW! Until then

-Axel

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