I'm Breathing on My Own

I closed my eyes, waiting for the car to come. Suddenly, I felt something crash into me from the wrong direction. I was pushed sideways onto the icy concrete and I fell hard. Something cracked in my shoulder and I realized with slight dread that the bone had popped out of the socket again. I tumbled across the ground once more and my head banged against the ice.

"Bella?" a frightened voice murmured in my ear when I finally stopped moving. "Bella, are you all right?"

"No," I said with a wince as I sat up. "I think I dislocated my shoulder."

The van continued to veer in its deadly path. It missed my truck by inches and instead crumpled the shiny silver Volvo in the next spot. Everyone in the crowd ran to see if the driver had been hurt.

I looked up to see who had saved me. Eyes the color of dark butterscotch gold stared into mine, frantic with worry. "The ambulance is on its way," he told me. His arm was around my back, supporting me lest I fall back onto the icy parking lot.

"You saved me," I said in amazement. There was a slight accusatory tone in my voice.

Edward didn't say anything. He just nodded, continuing to stare at me.

"Why?"

He didn't get the chance to answer. At that moment a very shaken man came running to me. "Oh my God! I'm so sorry, I really never meant to hit you!" He looked much older than a student, probably in his early thirties or so. He was of average height and weight with nothing really noticeable in his appearance. But there was something incredibly familiar about him—almost like I knew him from somewhere else.

Edward's head immediately whipped around and he stared at the man in surprise and anger. The arm supporting my back stiffened and I thought I heard a soft growl coming from his throat.

"It's okay," I said quietly. It didn't matter.

"No, I'm really sorry! I just hit the ice wrong and then all of a sudden I was swerving everywhere! Please, forgive me!"

I was spared from having to answer him because at that moment, sirens were blaring and blue and red lights were flashing all over the parking lot. "The ambulance is here," Edward told me, as he very reluctantly tore his angry gaze from the man who almost killed me.

The paramedics rushed over to us with a stretcher right behind them. Three men gently lifted me onto the gurney, careful not to disturb my neck or my shoulder. Edward stood beside me the entire time, never letting me out of his sight. His sudden protectiveness made me feel incredibly guilty—he went to great lengths to ensure my survival when I didn't care.

I didn't deserve his concern.

The ambulance was at the hospital in no time. The doctors who received me led the gurney to an empty room and they very gently moved me from the stretcher to the bed. I subconsciously stiffened the moment my body touched the sterile sheets.

Edward noticed my uncomfortable position. "Bella? What's wrong?"

I hadn't been in a bed since the last time I was in the hospital, and even then I wanted out. I asked the nurses several times to move me to a couch, a futon, anything but a bed, but they refused. This position brought the memories back with even greater force and I cringed.

"Bella," a beautiful, tortured voice murmured urgently. "Bella!"

"Bella," a throaty whisper floated through my mind. "Oh, Bella…"

"Well, Miss Swan," a pleasant voice greeted. I looked up with unseeing eyes and vaguely registered the face of an incredibly attractive man wearing medical scrubs and a white lab coat. "What brings you here today?"

"Her shoulder's dislocated," Edward told him. "And she hit her head pretty hard."

My wrists were chained to the bedposts and I felt him tug hard on my legs. I screamed in agony when the bones in my arms ripped out of their sockets. Then he grabbed a fistful of my hair and threw my head against the headboard.

The doctor beside me frowned slightly when he saw my shoulder. "Have you dislocated your shoulder before, Miss Swan?"

"Yes," I whispered. My mind was still trapped in the memories.

Cold hands gently guided my lost bone back to the cradle of my shoulder. I gasped in pain, suddenly jerked from the past. The brace wrapped around my neck prevented me from looking, but I could tell that the area surrounding my arm was swollen. I could feel the muscles strain against the cloth of my shirt.

"Edward says you also hit your head," the doctor continued.

The sudden pain of my relocated shoulder managed to shake me from my memories. They weren't completely gone, but now they played in the background, no longer distracting me from the present. I was able to more carefully observe this much too young doctor. His eyes were a dark gold, much like Edward's, and his features were pale and beautiful. They looked so much alike, but at the same time, wildly different.

"Bella?" the doctor prompted gently.

I started. "Uh, yeah," I said, a little too late. "I'm sorry, but I don't know your name."

"I'm Dr. Cullen. I'm Edward's father."

I nodded. It made sense.

Dr. Cullen reached forward and placed his hands at the base of my skull. Very gently, he felt around for any bit of tenderness. "Does your head ache?"

All the time. "No."

He pulled a pen light from the pocket of his white lab coat and flashed it in my eyes. "Do you feel dizzy or light-headed?"

Only when I breathe. "No."

He must have noticed that I was lying because he frowned. "I'd like to send you for some tests just to make sure," he said. "I'm ordering an X-ray for your shoulder to see if there's any lasting damage and I'd also like to run a CT scan for your head." He scribbled something down on my chart and glanced significantly at his son; Edward simply nodded in reply. Then he pocketed his pen and walked out of the room.

We were silent for a few moments; there was so much that needed to be said, and Edward seemed at a loss of where to start. I just didn't want to talk at all.

Finally, Edward broke the silence. "How do you really feel?"

I shrugged. "Why does it matter?"

His expression was puzzled. "You're in a hospital. If you're experiencing any pain, this is the place where they could find the problem and fix it."

So naïve. "I'm just tired," I replied.

The expression on his face told me he didn't believe me, but he let it go. After a few more moments of quiet, he spoke up again. "Did you know that man? The man who was driving the van?"

I looked up and immediately regretted it. His powerful ocher eyes grabbed me and sucked me in, compelling me to tell the truth. "I don't know," I replied dazedly. "I feel like I've seen him before. Why?"

He frowned. "Where did you see him?"

I dug into the recesses of my brain, carefully avoiding the parts that still held onto the dreaded memories. His nondescript facial features made it hard for me to remember if I had encountered him before—he was so ordinary that nothing about him stood out in my mind.

Suddenly, I remembered. I was sitting on the witness stand and sitting right behind the defendant's table was an average looking guy. My eye passed over him quickly, but his indignant frown at my testimony registered in my head; he didn't like what I had to say.

"I saw him in Phoenix," I said when I finally located the memory. "I never talked to him."

And then it hit me.

"He was trying to kill me," I whispered in realization.

Edward's gaze sharply turned to me. "What?" he demanded.

My suspicions were right. Alan Vickers knew where I was—the fact that he sent one of his go-betweens to off me only proved my theory.

But Edward wasn't going to let me ignore him. "Bella, how did you know that he was trying to kill you?" he demanded. His face was only inches away and his eyes were demanding the truth. I couldn't say no.

"Because I've seen him before," I murmured. Then I closed my eyes, trying to pull myself from Edward's vacuous hold. "Thank you," I finally said. My eyes opened, now carefully empty and devoid of any emotion. "You didn't have to."

His godlike face gave way to a shocked and horrified expression. "Bella," he whispered tragically. "How can you say that?"

At that moment a nurse came into the room. "Miss Swan? I'm here to take you to your X-ray."

I nodded and she pulled the bed from the wall. She pushed it down the hallway with Edward behind her, his beautiful angel's face troubled and worried. I was beginning to regret saying anything in the first place.

The X-rays and the scans didn't take very long. About an hour later, I was back in the hospital room, waiting in silence for Dr. Cullen to come back.

"Bella, is there anyone you'd like for me to call?" Edward asked quietly.

I shook my head. There was no point in worrying Charlie or the detectives; after all, I didn't die.

But Edward wasn't going to let it go. "Come on, Bella. There has to be someone. What about Chief Swan? Isn't he your guardian?"

I sighed wearily. I was tired of his questions and his goading. "Look, Edward, what does it matter if he knows that I'm in the hospital? There's nothing wrong with me. I'm not dead. I'm only waiting for someone to discharge me so I can leave."

"You don't know that there's nothing wrong with you," he accused. "You could have seriously injured your head. Why don't you want Charlie to know that you're in the hospital?"

Hot anger rippled the placid waters of my numbed state. "Why do you care? What does it matter to you? You don't even know me. Just go away, Edward. Thank you for saving me, but you should go back home."

He clenched his jaw and crossed his arms across his chest: a gesture of defiance. "No."

I gnashed my teeth together. "Why not?" I demanded.

"Because no one deserves to be in a hospital alone."

His answer shocked me and guilt racked my body. After a long pause, I muttered, "You really don't have to do this."

"I know," he replied, his expression softening. "But I want to."

To my intense horror, tears started to gather in the corners of my eyes. I blinked carefully, making sure that they didn't overflow. "You really shouldn't have, you know," I said quietly. I was hoping he didn't hear me, but he had.

"Shouldn't have what?" he asked gently.

"Shouldn't have saved me. It would have been easier if you just let that van hit me."

His soft expression suddenly turned disapproving. His lips pressed in a thin line and his eyes hardened. "And why do you think that?"

I was so close to telling him. I almost told him who I really was and why I was here. My mouth opened and the words swelled in my throat, ready to come out. Luckily, I was spared from having to answer him once again because his father walked into the room.

"Well, Miss Swan, your X-ray came back clean. Your shoulder's going to be in pain for a little while and you'll have to be careful when you're moving it. We don't want it popping back out, but other than that your shoulder will be fine. As for your head, the scans show that you've had brain surgery very recently."

I saw Edward's head turn to stare at me in the corner of my eye. "Yeah."

"I'll need to know the nature of the surgery."

"Why?" I asked. "Did something show up in the scans?"

He nodded. "I'm not exactly sure what it is yet, but if you tell me what happened in your last surgery then I can figure out where to go from here." He looked at me expectantly.

"There was an accident a couple of months ago," I said vaguely. "I hit my head my head pretty hard and there was some internal bleeding. They had to go in and stop it."

"Hmm," he nodded. "Who, exactly?"

"Excuse me?"

"Who was your doctor? I'll need them to fax your medical records."

I started to feel uncomfortable. My medical records were still filed under my real name, so if he called and asked for them, there would be a great deal of confusion.

"Dr. Porter," I replied after a long pause. "He's the head of neurology at Phoenix Memorial."

Dr. Cullen nodded and made note of that on his chart. "I'll give him a call tonight. In the meantime, I'd really like for you to stay here, just for observations."

I bit my lip, but nodded. "Is it okay if I move around? I don't have to stay in the bed, do I?"

He shook his head. "Moving is fine for now, but I don't want you moving around too much; if you're going to be out of bed, at least use a wheelchair, okay?"

"Okay."

"Is there anyone you'd like to call?"

Inwardly, I sighed. If I was going to stay overnight in the hospital, then I was going to have to tell Charlie, as much as I didn't want to. "Yeah. Could you call my Uncle Charlie? He doesn't know I'm in the hospital. Be sure to tell him I'm fine and that nothing happened, and he doesn't have to come."

Dr. Cullen raised his eyebrows. "Are you sure?"

I nodded. "I don't want him worrying."

When he left, Edward stepped forward and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. "Then you should probably call him yourself."

I sucked in a breath and took it from him. I dialed Charlie's number with dread.

"Hello?"

"Uh, Charlie?"

"Bella?"

"Yeah. Um, listen…I'm…" I took another deep breath before I could say the words, "I'm in the hospital."

His reaction was just as I feared. "You're in the hospital?" he repeated in panicked tones. "Oh my God, Bella, what happened? Are you alright? Are you hurt?"

"I feel fine," I quickly reassured. "I got to school and as I was in the parking lot this guy lost control of his car on the ice and he was heading straight for me. But Edward Cullen pushed me out of the way. I landed on my shoulder and dislocated it, but Dr. Cullen popped it back in place. I also hit my head so they ran some tests. I don't know exactly what's going on but they want to keep me overnight for observations."

"I'm coming to see you."

"No, that's not necessary," I hastily countered. I slid a sideways glance at Edward and saw his eyes narrow almost imperceptibly. "I'm fine, Charlie, I swear. You really don't have to come."

"Bella, I made a promise to keep you safe. I'm getting the keys right now and you're not going to talk me out of it."

I sighed in defeat. "Then…then could you do something first before you leave?"

"Sure. What is it?"

"I have Det…Mrs. Manning's number in my bedside drawer." I almost called her Detective in front of Edward and that would have opened a whole new can of worms. "Could you read it to me?" Edward was beside me in an instant with a pen in hand. I took it from him with a quiet nod.

"Sure." I heard him set the phone down for a moment while he went to retrieve the card. He came back a few moments later and read out the number.

"Thanks." I was getting ready to hang up the phone.

"Wait," he called. "Does this have something to do with…with him?"

"I'm not sure," I lied. "I just think this is the kind of thing she'd want to hear about."

"Okay. I'll be there soon."

"No need to rush," I told him. Then I pressed the end button. "Can I make another call?" I asked him. "It'll only take a second."

He nodded courteously. "Take all the time you need."

I hesitated before I opened the phone again. "Um…could I have some privacy?"

"Oh," he quickly realized what I needed and nodded. "I'll just go down to the cafeteria and get something to eat."

"Thanks."

When he was gone, I dialed the number I had written on my hand. The phone rang twice before a sharp voice answered. "Manning."

"Detective? It's Bella."

"Bella," she repeated warmly, her formal voice quickly dissolving. "What do you need?"

"I…I think he knows where I am."

There was a brief pause on the other end. "How do you know?"

I explained to her what happened that morning. "The guy that was driving the car came out to apologize to me, but I thought I saw him at the trial."

She sighed. "So you're not sure?"

"Well…last night I got a big manila envelope and inside were…there were a bunch of pictures in it. Of me. They were pictures of me when…" I hope she understood. I didn't want to have to explain it.

But she got it. She was quiet for a long time—deliberating, I assumed. "This changes everything, Bella."

"I know."

I heard her sigh. "Okay, here's what we'll do. Detective Anderson and I will fly up there tonight and we'll do a once over of the town again. We'll bring Julia Andrews and Dr. Levksy with us. Where are you right now?"

"I'm at the hospital. They ran some tests after I hit my head and they want to keep me here overnight for observation."

"Good," she said. "The hospital's a safe place for you to be. Make sure that there's always someone with you, even if you're just in your room, okay?"

"I will," I promised. "Oh, and another thing—the hospital needs a copy of my medical records and they're going to call Phoenix Memorial tonight to have them fax it. I think the hospital's going to be confused because of the whole name change thing, so…"

"We'll take care of it."

"Thanks."

"Okay. Hang tight there, Bella. We'll be there soon."

Moments after I hung up, Edward walked back into the room. His expression was troubled and his lips were once again pressed in a very thin line. I handed the phone back to him. "Thanks for letting me use it."

He pocketed the tiny silver cell phone. "It was no problem." Then he frowned at me. "You know, that was the most I think I've ever heard you say."

I gave him a funny look.

"I'm simply stating that you're a very quiet person. And you're very abrupt. You don't beat around the bush—you just say whatever you need to and you stay quiet for the rest of the conversation."

I shrugged. "There's not much to say."

His frown deepened. "Oh, I disagree. You're hiding something."

Instead of replying, I slid off the bed and sat down in the wheelchair. "Everyone's hiding something," I finally said, not looking at him. "I'm no exception."

Even though I wasn't looking at him, I could practically feel his eyes narrowing in my direction. "Fine, then. Let's start with something simple: what's your real name?"

I turned and smirked at him. "Isabella."

He wasn't deterred. "Isabella…?"

"Isabella Marie," I continued to hedge.

He sighed. Then he swiftly strode across the wide room and closed the door. When he was sure that we were alone and no one was listening, he turned to face me. "I propose an exchange," he said. "We'll trade secret for secret. You tell me one of yours and I'll tell you one of mine."

My eyes narrowed. "Why do you care so much? What's it to you?"

"Bella, don't you understand? That man from earlier wanted to kill you! He deliberately got into his car and skidded on the ice just to take your life! Doesn't that worry you at all?"

"No," I said simply. "What worries me is that you seem so invested in my survival."

"Well what worries me is the fact that you seem so nonchalant towards your near demise. You know very well that a man tried to murder you and you don't care. You are taking no measures to prevent a similar occurrence in the future and I demand to know why."

I narrowed my eyes. "Will you really tell me one of your secrets if I tell you one of mine?"

His will seemed to waver, as did his expression. I smirked in triumph. "You keep your secrets, Edward, and I'll keep mine."

It was his turn to narrow his eyes. "Your secrets are nothing compared to mine," he warned. "One of mine is worth at least two of yours."

This was a challenge and the part of me that I had been struggling to suppress since I arrived in Forks cried to take him up on it. What was it about Edward Cullen? Every time I was around him he easily tore down the walls I had worked so hard to construct. He saw through my charades, my veils with ease.

He swiftly switched tactics, his eyes glowing with sincerity. "Bella, I saved your life. I think I deserve to know why I had to do so in the first place."

Completely against my will, my mind began to form the sentences that would answer the question he so fervently asked. The words swelled in my throat and sat at the tip of my tongue, ready to blossom the moment I opened my mouth. But I swallowed them back and demanded, "How do I know I can trust you? How do I know you can keep a secret?"

His eyes burned with intensity, the rest of his expression completely solemn. "Bella, you have my word that I won't speak a word to anyone."

To this day, I blame his eyes. Those damned butterscotch eyes made me confess. With a deep breath, I reluctantly answered his question. "My name is Isabella Marie Dwyer, and…and I'm hiding in Forks from the man who killed my parents."

A/N - Sorry for the cliffie! If you guys review, I'll be sure to update as soon as possible!