Single File We Walk the Mile

Despite the ice cold of his lips, fire spread across my skin. My heart started to pump faster at the feel of his touch and my bones melted at the gentle way he held me. After a few minutes, my unsteady knees collapsed beneath me. Luckily, Edward was there to catch me from falling to the ground.

"Bella?" he asked worriedly. "Bella, are you okay?"

I was too busy gasping for air to use my voice, so I nodded. When my lungs finally started to work properly, I answered, "I'm just…a little shocked, is all."

"But you're not angry, are you?" His face was anxious and I felt my heart melt. "I'm very sorry if I upset you, I didn't mean to at all—"

"Shh, Edward." I pressed a finger against his lips. "I'm not angry at all." A smile spread across my cheeks and the intense look from before blazed in his eyes. "I'm actually glad that you kissed me."

He paused. "Are you sure?"

"I'm very sure."

His face broke out into that brilliant, uneven grin and my already-unsteady heart went into overdrive. He must have heard it because he chuckled and very tenderly held me to him. "I'm very glad to hear you say that."

Soon we had developed sort of a daily routine: after school Edward would come with me and spend the evening at Charlie's house, helping me trudge through the more incomprehensible trig problems and help me make Charlie's dinner. Then he would leave the moment Charlie walked through the door with the pretense of going home to eat dinner with his own family when in reality he would just climb through my window and wait for me to finish dinner.

We spent the evenings listening to CDs and telling stories. He related fantastic tales from the past and explained the events of the earlier twentieth century with a sense of personal experience that no history teacher could properly emulate. He also talked about his family; he talked about Alice's strange enthusiasm and unknown past, Emmett's intense strength and goofy adventures, Rosalie's slightly obnoxious habits and Jasper's brooding ways. Our shared lunchtimes served to reinforce these images of his family. It should have been difficult, sitting in the midst of this wonderful group of people who all loved each other…and it was. There were days that I couldn't stand the pain of watching how content they all were with each other; it served as a daily reminder of what I had lost and what I would never regain. But in a way, they had all accepted me as a part of their group, as a lost hermit crab in desperate need of a new shell. Emmett and Jasper both went out of their way to make me smile and Alice was always there to share embarrassing stories with. Even Rosalie would send me a soft grin every so often, an action that disconcerted as well as comforted.

So in exchange for his epic tales, I in turn began to talk about my life in Phoenix, before everything changed. It was hard, especially recalling the parts with Alan. But reliving it was therapeutic in ways.

Additionally, Edward seemed genuinely curious about my past. I couldn't imagine why; his stories were so much more interesting than mine. But whenever I told him a story highlighting my mother's erratic behavior or my father's childishness, he would laugh and the pain between my ribs would ease a little bit more.

Soon Friday afternoon rolled around and Edward and I pulled into Charlie's driveway to see the cruiser already parked and my truck's usual spot occupied by a vaguely recognizable dark blue car. My chest tightened when I realized who it was.

"Bella?" Edward immediately recognized my tension. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and held me tightly to him. "Don't worry, you'll be fine."

I sighed. "I know."

"Would you like me to leave?" he asked.

My eyes widened in fear. "No! You have to stay!" There was absolutely no way I could talk to Dr. Levsky without knowing Edward was there, listening to every word. "I can't do it without you, Edward."

He recognized the note of panic in my voice and rubbed comforting circles on my back with his cold hand. "Okay," he reassured. "I won't leave, I promise. I'm not going anywhere."

I looked up and his eyes were blazing with sincerity. A little bit of the tension left my body, but I was still reluctant to get out of the car.

Finally, I knew I could stall no longer. My shaky hand slowly reached for the door handle, but Edward was already there, his arm extended to help me out of my seat. I smiled as steadily as I could and made a tiny step forward.

When I reached the front door, he leaned down to whisper very softly in my ear, "I'll be upstairs in your room. If you need anything, just say you need to go the restroom."

I nodded and in the blink of an eye, he was gone.

Immediately, I missed the presence of his cold touch. But I couldn't dwell on that; right now, I needed to focus on what I was about to do.

I entered the house and called out loudly, "Charlie! I'm back!"

He stuck his balding head from the entrance to the living room. "Hey, Bella. How was school?"

I shrugged after I closed the door behind me. "It was okay. Are the detectives here?"

The moment I asked that question, Detectives Anderson and Manning walked into the hallway, closely followed by Mrs. Andrews and Dr. Levsky. "Hey, Bella," greeted Detective Manning with a soft smile.

I tried to smile back. "Hi."

"We were just going to have Charlie take us on a tour of the town," Detective Anderson informed me. "He's also helping us in the investigation of last week's accident. We're trying to figure out if it was anyone in town."

"In fact, we should get going right now," Charlie said in a not-so-subtle attempt to get out of the house. I had a hunch that being in close proximity of the shrink and the lawyer was not exactly comforting to him.

"Oh." I nodded.

The detectives and Charlie walked toward me and I moved out of their way to grant them easier access to the front door. "If you need anything, Bella, don't hesitate to call us."

"I will." And with reassuring smiles from all three of them, they walked out the door, leaving me in the lion's den.

I took a deep breath and tried to comfort myself in the fact that Edward was above me, listening intently and ready if I needed him.

With heavy feet, I made my way into the living room where Mrs. Andrews and Dr. Levsky waited for me. They both grinned at me, gentle and soft expressions. No doubt their expectations were high.

"Bella," Mrs. Andrews began the moment my rear touched the armchair, "have you given any thought to your testimony at the trial?"

Deep breath. "I have." I had stayed up multiple nights, thinking about my answer. I had replayed the imagined scenarios over and over in my head.

"What have you decided?"

My fingers were already trembling and I gripped them tightly in my lap. "I've decided that I'll do it."

Mrs. Andrews' smile went from gentle to elated in less than a second. "Okay. We'll get past the grand jury with all the other evidence, so you won't have to testify for that. But you will need to testify during the actual trial."

Ice ran through my veins, but I struggled to hide my shivers. "Okay."

"Bella," Dr. Levsky interjected, "what exactly helped you reach this decision?"

Honestly, it was Edward that had convinced me. He never actually said anything about testifying, but I knew he'd want this. He wanted me to have closure.

"It's the only way I can think to face this," I said quietly. "I've been running from it for a really long time."

"Why do you think that is?"

I was shaking uncontrollably now. "Obviously I didn't want to face it."

"But why is that? Why did you refuse to face it before?"

I looked all around the room. I looked at the couch, at the floor, at my hands, at the ceiling…anywhere but Dr. Levsky. "I don't know. I guess if I talked about it, then it made it real. I didn't want it to be real."

He paused for a very long moment and I looked up at him, wondering why he wasn't talking. I realized he was observing me with those shrewd blue eyes; he was observing my body language and he could see that I was a scared rabbit, ready to bolt.

"Bella, would you be more comfortable if Mrs. Andrews weren't here?"

Of course I would. "Yes," I said quietly, "but I don't want her to leave. She needs to know why I didn't want to testify to begin with."

He nodded knowingly. I saw Mrs. Andrews' brown eyes glaze over and I realized that she was about to cry. I immediately felt more uncomfortable.

"What's the hardest part about all of this?"

I laughed humorlessly. "All of it. Everything. I can't breathe. I can't sleep. I'm always looking over my shoulder, waiting for him to take me again. The kids at school eat lunch with their families and it reminds me of everything I used to have." My knees bounced up and down harder than ever as tears began to well up in the bottoms of my eyelids. "Every time someone tries to befriend me, I can't help but suspect an ulterior motive. I've lost everything."

"Have you been making very many friends at school?"

"I've made a few," I hedged.

"Do you consider them very close?"

"Yes," I said quietly.

"Would one of these friends happen to be the young man I met at the hospital?" he asked shrewdly.

I nodded while keeping my gaze on my hands. "That was Edward."

"And does Edward know your circumstances?"

I nodded again.

"You said earlier that you have trouble trusting people so easily. You've been in Forks for barely two weeks and already you trust Edward. Why is that?"

I suddenly wished that the topic of conversation himself were not upstairs, listening to every word. This was bound to be embarrassing. "He saved my life from that van," I told them. "He stayed with me in the hospital even when I told him to get lost. He saw through all the lies I fed him and he wouldn't give up. He never left me alone."

"What finally changed your mind about him?"

Crap. I swallowed hard, knowing that I had to answer this question. I promised to cooperate, after all. "I…"

"You what, Bella?" prompted Dr. Levsky.

"I'm in love with him," I finally admitted. "He was always there when I needed him most. He didn't push me, but he never left and somewhere in the midst of all of it, I fell in love."

I turned my gaze upward to find both Dr. Levsky and Mrs. Andrews beaming widely at me. They looked almost proud of me and I couldn't fathom why.

"That's part of the reason I finally came around," I continued, hoping to get them to stop looking at me like that. "I want to be good enough for him. I want to be whole. I want to forget about this incident and to be able to finally put it behind me."

He kept on smiling, but to a much smaller degree. "You'll never be able to completely forget, Bella," he told me. "As much as you wish it weren't so, this will forever be a part of you. All you can do is not let this ruin your life. You can overcome this, and you're well on your way. Needless to say, Bella, I'm rather impressed; you don't want to get over this just for yourself. You have the motivation of someone you love."

I felt like an embarrassed student, receiving praise from a teacher. No words came to mind, so I just kept silent.

"I think this is a good place to stop for the day," he said. "You've made a great deal more progress than I ever dreamed of. And I think that baby steps should be taken for now. You're learning to open up more and soon you'll be able to talk about the incident a little more easily."

I felt a slight weight lift off of my chest. I wouldn't have to talk about it now.

"I've been looking into the logistics of allowing Dr. Levsky to reside in Forks until the trial," Mrs. Andrews informed me. "That way, he wouldn't have to wait for the detectives to come visit and he can report to me of your progress while I'm in Phoenix. He'll also be within much easier reach if you need him."

Guilt racked my body. Dr. Levsky was willing to temporarily move to Forks just to help me? "You really don't have to do that," I said uncomfortably. "What about your other patients? What if they need you?"

"As of now, I don't have any other patients. I work for the FBI and right now the Phoenix SVU needs me on this case."

I tugged on my sleeves; it was a nervous habit. "You sure it won't be a problem?"

He smiled indulgingly at me, much like a grandfather would to a favorite grandchild. "Not at all."

I finally nodded. "Okay. If you're sure."

Ten minutes later, the detectives and Charlie came back. My foster father invited them to stay for dinner, but they insisted that they had to get back to Phoenix. We saw them off from the front porch and when they had disappeared into the cloudy horizon, we went back into the house for the usual weeknight routine.

I was in the middle of chopping some tomatoes when a sharp knock sounded against the front door. When I opened it, I saw an absolutely jubilant Edward standing on the front step. His huge smile made him all the more beautiful; so much so that I could hardly breathe around my pounding heart.

"Hello," he said with a radiant grin.

"Hi," I greeted much less impressively.

"Bella?" called Charlie from the living room. "Who is it?"

"It's Edward," I called back.

"Oh." Shuffling sounds drifted from the living room and a few seconds later, Charlie was sticking his head out of the entrance. "Hey, Edward. Would you like to stay for dinner?"

"I would like that very much," he replied politely, his burning amber gaze never leaving my face. My skin flushed under the scrutiny, but I couldn't bring myself to look away.

"Well why don't you help me make it, then?" I asked. And before Charlie could say anything else, I walked back to the kitchen and I felt rather than heard Edward follow.

When I was sure we were alone, I turned to the beautiful vampire with a curious look on my face. "Why are you so happy?" I demanded. Don't get me wrong, I liked that Edward was happy, but the abruptness of this joy unnerved me.

He didn't answer me. Instead, he circled my wrists with his cold fingers and leaned forward to plant a kiss on my lips. It was the second kiss he had ever given me and my reaction was exactly the same; his cold skin and the lovely, sweet scent wafting from him pulled a haze over my senses and soon I forgot to breathe. All I could think was to keep his lips on mine at all costs.

When he pulled away, his eyes were ablaze with such a fierce emotion that I felt as if the ground had been swept up from underneath me. "I love you, Bella," he said passionately.

After a few stunned moments, I brought my hand to his cold face and stroked his cheekbone with my thumb. "I love you too, Edward."

It was such an unbelievably sweet moment. If it were possible, I would wish for time to stop right then and there, so I could spend the rest of my life looking into Edward's love-filled, golden gaze and float in his protective embrace.

For the first time in three months (perhaps even my whole life), I felt content.

Eventually we broke apart, but we found every excuse to stand as close as possible to one another. Even at dinner, Edward placed his chair as close to mine as the table allowed. Charlie must have noticed, but he didn't mind; in fact, he looked very pleased about the arrangement.

When we all finished "eating" (insert inside joke laughter here), Edward followed me upstairs and we sat on my floor, reading the liner notes of the album he had brought with him.

At one point, I looked up and found him staring at me with that same soft look in his eye. My heart melted, but I struggled to retain control of my voice. "You never did answer my question," I said in what was meant to be a teasing voice, but just turned into a breathless whisper instead. "Why are you so suddenly happy?"

His grin widened. "I heard you tell that psychiatrist that you love me. How could I not be happy after that?"

A blush rose to my cheeks and Edward chuckled. "I feel kind of embarrassed," I admitted. "Some of that stuff I didn't really mean for you to hear."

He reached over and took my hand in his. "But I'm glad I heard it," he insisted. "I don't think I've ever been so happy."

I shared his joy to an extent, but not fully. There was still a part of me that prevented me from being truly happy. This part had diminished over the course of two short weeks, but it was still considerably poisonous and it was the only thing that stood between me and true bliss with Edward.

I had let this hole inside me control me and keep me from happiness, and it was time I rid myself of it. It was time to let go of this fear and move on.

"What are you thinking?" he asked when I hadn't spoken in a while.

I looked up straight into his eyes. "I was thinking that it's time I moved on. I can't let this fear control my life forever. Mom and Dad would have wanted me to move on."

He moved closer and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "Yes. They would have."

"I have to start now," I said with resolve in my voice. "The next time I see Dr. Levsky, I won't be so nervous. I want to show him more progress. And I have to start getting ready for the trial."

"How will you do that?"

A lump formed in my throat, but I spoke around it. "I think it's time I actually started going to sleep. For the past three months now, I've been refusing to go to sleep because of the nightmares. But it's unhealthy. I can't keep doing it."

He squeezed me gently to him. "Good. I'm glad."

I glanced at the bed and fear lurched in my stomach, hard and cold.

Edward noticed my suddenly stiff posture and followed my gaze. He must have realized what I was thinking because he said, "You don't have to start off sleeping in the bed," he said gently. "You can sleep in the rocking chair, and when you feel up to it, you can move onto the bed. It's best if you take baby steps."

I nodded, a little relieved. "Okay." But slowly, the implications of his words started to sink into my brain. "Wait…" I trailed off as I frowned into his eyes. "How did you know?"

It was his turn to frown. "Know what?"

"That I…don't like beds."

"Well, Carlisle told me about that night at the hospital," he said, with a slight sadness in his eyes. "And I've been watching you for a long time. You never go anywhere near your bed and you spend your nights curled up in the rocking chair, staring out the window and you end up falling asleep like that."

I felt my eyebrows shoot up my forehead. "You…you've been watching me?"

He nodded, as if there was nothing wrong with that.

My sudden determination to rid myself of my fear gave way to the sudden mix of emotions; I felt embarrassed, flattered, outraged and shy all at once. As I tried to sort through my feelings, I managed to stutter one word: "W-why?"

Edward's cold thumb started brushing patterns across my knuckles. "Because I didn't want you to be alone. You didn't deserve to be alone."

Slowly, realization began to dawn. "Wait…so was that…was that really you? When I was about to…"

He nodded. "Yes. That was me."

My throat swelled with emotion. Edward saved me from myself. Without thinking, I reached over and threw my arms around his shoulders and buried my face and suddenly teary eyes into his sweater. "Thank you," I whispered. "Thank you so much."

He held me tightly around the waist and whispered into my hair, "I love you, Bella. I love you so much."

Several hours later, I had brushed my teeth and changed into my pajamas. After very little persuasion, I convinced Edward to stay with me for the night. I didn't want to admit that I wouldn't be able to do this without his influence, but he seemed to understand.

When I was finished getting ready for bed, I walked back to my room to see him sitting in the rocking chair, waiting for me. I smiled and wrapped myself with the comforter before I curled up in his lap. Then he wrapped his arms around me and I nestled my head in the cradle of his neck and shoulder. "Go to sleep, love," he murmured quietly. "Dream happily."

My eyes drooped and my mind hazed as he rocked back and forth, humming a quiet lullaby in my ear.

I found myself in darkness once again. But this time, it felt different.

"Bella," Alan greeted me. His smile was wide and unassuming, but I knew differently. Underneath that mask of calm was a monster, waiting to be unleashed. "Bella, it's been so long."

I waited for my muscles to freeze, but they did not. Instead my hands clenched into fists and I waited for him to approach me.

"Have you finally come back to me?" he asked. "Have you finally realized that you love me as well?"

I didn't answer him. Despite my anger, a considerable amount of fear still remained. I couldn't answer him with a still tongue, so I kept my mouth shut.

My fists quivered as he came closer. Soon he was standing behind me, much too close for comfort. His breath made the tendrils around my face sway and a deep pit of discomfort widened in my stomach. But despite all of this, I stood my ground. I wasn't going to run away from this.

"You have," he said with a sense of triumph. "You've given up."

With rough fingers, he grabbed my wrists. I tried to pull them out of his grasp, but he wouldn't let go. He clamped down on them hard and I felt my breath hitch. It reminded me of the handcuffs and I felt the terror freeze my muscles.

"Let go of me," I whimpered. I was ashamed to hear the weakness in my own voice.

"Never again, Bella," he said in a deceivingly tender tone. "I'll never let you go again."

"I believe the lady asked you to unhand her," a furiously musical voice whispered. My heart suddenly lifted and warmth flew throughout my body once more.

Alan's anger was nearly tangible. "You have no claim to her! She is mine!"

I took advantage of his surprise and ripped my hands away. "I was never yours," I spat, "and I will never be yours!"

The monster hissed and grabbed my arm. "No! You are mine! You cannot belong to anyone else! I made you mine!"

"You cannot take me by force!" I screamed. "I refuse!"

He closed the distance between us and shook me by the shoulders. "I already have! I have made you mine and now no one else could ever want you!"

But Edward hadn't given up. A cold arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me away from Alan's grip. "She does not want you and she has already said that she does not belong to you."

And suddenly, Alan was gone. All that was left was Edward's warm smile.

A/N - Ah, the long awaited fluff!

There have been a couple of FAQs, and I answered them on my blog. I've also put a sneak peek for the next chapter (which happens to be my favorite) up there, so check it out when you get the chance.

As always, reviews are most greatly appreciated! They are the food to my soul.