Aundama - Part Three
Todd!
The struggle again at his fingertips… anguish… torment on the human's face… as if… as if the Wraith were feeding…
No, Sheppard… I will not release you… this is not real… remember that…
Todd… for… pity… sake…
He strokes the temple again… to ease the pain as Sheppard resists his hand… and follows with words of encouragement…
You have to stay. We still do not have the information we require…
Todd!
Once I stop, it will be too difficult to resume… I have told you this…
Let-me-go!
No.
Let-me-go! Damn you!
No. Do not fight. It only serves to weaken you and we shall not finish. And it is only your current weakness that demands this. Think of Rodney…
Or the tech you're after!
This is not good… Where is the strength that is Sheppard?
…hands… his hands want to push Todd away… somehow… somehow… he can't… he can't move… his head… there… against Todd's palm…somehow… somehow… he can't… pull… away…
Who… is… doing… this… damn… torturing?!... them?... you?... who is it?
…thoughts hissed in agony… pinned… trapped… nailed… no release… face screwed tight and teeth clenched…
Todd!
Silence.
Todd!
This is what you think?
Yeah… yeah… this is what I think…
Silence.
I… I would not hurt you, John Sheppard.
Silence.
No?
No… We continue?
Silence.
Sheppard?
Yeah… yeah, we continue…
…not recovered… no… his body aches… his eyes wish they could see no more… a sluice… a gulley… runs down the centre of the corridor… water… filthy, a stench… an open sewer?... now runs red with blood… Norton's body is dragged away… no… not recovered… will never recover… Hendrick's shouting, fuck you!… fuck you!… cursing… yelling… till they kick him quiet again…
'Well, at least, he's sensible… he's told us what we wanted to know…'
…flinching… wants to kick as the guy passes by… anger… use your anger… show them you're not beaten yet… wants to kick… doesn't matter he's lost all feeling to his legs… wants to kick… doesn't matter he's tied so tight… helpless… and their laughter… they're alone again… Hendrick moans… or… or… his own moaning?… this position for so long… think you can stand it?... think you can?... and they've hit his right side so… so many times now… if he moves his head… even the slightest movement… hell, the only movement… crucified… shooting pain down his neck… his back… you're a soldier, you know the damage we can do they say… training… they're taught these things… till its second nature… sometimes… sometimes… he wishes… he wishes he didn't know… didn't know how to hurt another being… didn't know the best, quickest, deadliest way to kill a man…
...the guys return… tenses… what now?... what now?.... been to see the boss guy?.... return with a purpose… sees that… the others' hoods removed… duct tape over their mouths before hoods replaced… what… so they can't be heard when they scream?.... oh hell!... oh Jesus!... untied… dragged away from the bars… knees grazing… fuck!... fuck!... fuck!... that hurts… hurts to move… hands tied behind his back again… head jerked back… duct tape and hood… hauled up… pushed forward…can't walk… too stiff… too cold… hurting too damn much… won't make a noise… won't let them hear… two guards… either side… purpose now… corridors… a lift?... clanking heavy double gates…for cargo… technology though?... but more modern than genii…
I wish that you were not blind.
Yeah, tell me about it!
…a large room… funny how that can be sensed when all other senses down… echoey from the soldiers boots… positioned… standing… a certain way… they're in line?... water trickling at their feet… another sluice… stench… intense because breathing hard through the nose… feeling… feeling… a shadow in front… something solid… a wall… oh hell!... they're being lined up facing a wall with a sluice… oh hell!... shot, then nothing to clean up?… just like Norton… can't stop shaking… cold… its cold… the flesh on his back… creeping… waiting… expecting… holding breath… shaking… spasms of shaking he cannot stop… what's it feel like… what's it feel like to have your brains blown out?…
Remember you survived this…
…yeah… yeah… at the time… at the time… didn't know… didn't know… feeling so sick… feeling so goddamned awful sick… breath hot in the hood… can't throw up because of the tape… has to swallow hard… but why not in the cell?… why bring them here?...
Todd!
No. Wait. Do you not sense it? Do you not sense that Dr. McKay is here… Here in this very room? I can sense him through you…
You can?
Rodney… shuffling… scuffling of feet behind…
'Look! I don't know what you're playing at… oh… oh… they're…'
...Naked… Rodney… they're naked…
'You choose.'
'What?!'
'You choose which one we shoot next.' Jesus! Rodney!
'Shoot?'
...can feel… can… yeah, sense… Rodney… eyes wide… blinking… Hendrick… tries to speak… Hendrick protests through the tape… smack of punch to solid flesh… Hendrick falls… sound of fall on concrete… Hendrick moans… lesson to them all… all quiet then… but a mind… that begs… that pleads…
'There's… no need…'
'Oh but there is. You are deliberately delaying-'
'-I'm so am not!'
'I think you are! You were given a deadline and as far as I can see, you are miles off the mark.'
'Well, I can imagine it would appear that way to a mere soldier… but a scientist would see the complications-'
'-Which one? Or I choose for you!'
'No! No! I'll see. I'll see if I can speed things up.'
'Don't let me down. Don't let them down.'
Footsteps… not far… clatter on a metal stairway… steps that stop… noise of Hendrick hauled to his feet… soldiers low talking… a keyboard clicking… blind… so sound intensifies… up those stairs… a mezzanine floor?... clicking… fast… Rodney's fast… have to admire him… but… but… he mustn't be… he mustn't help these guys… he mustn't do this thing because of the three downstairs… that's not how its supposed to work, Rodney… you don't give in… you don't give in so easily… how?... how can he tell him?... how?... and Rodney… damn… Rodney can't possibly know who they are… laughs… laughs inside…
What is so amusing, Sheppard?
…three naked guys, hooded and bound, and one…
Yes?
…and one… is… his… team mate… friend… and he doesn't… can't even recognise him…
I see the irony.
…stand for… how long… how long… faint… head from hell… that makes the hood feel like twenty pounds… how long can you stand with the ache… interminable ache… that gnaws… gnaws in every joint… every muscle… his back… fire… like fire… longs for… longs to lay down… a bed… soft… soft and comfy… laughs… laughs inside again… in the desert… dehydrated… no food… no water… so you hallucinate… for food… water… and haven't eaten for… hours… thirst… no water for hours… hallucinating then… for a bed?... laughs… laughs inside… cold too… warmth of a blanket… a blanket would be good… what place is this that is so cold?... dampness from the sluice… trickling water… needs to urinate… though no water for hours… damn kidney or something… mustn't let them see… but side hurts… cutting… needs to urinate… trying not to… like trying not to talk… the pain like fire… lets go… hell… shame… dribbles down his thigh… hopes they don't see… gonna get beaten or laughed at or both if they see… and the punch comes in the same goddamned fucking kidney!… down… down on the floor… curling over… tears… Christ it hurts! Christ it fucking hurts!... hands clenched in fists… yells in his mouth… stifled… yells exploding in his brain... screams dammed against the tape at his mouth…
'Animal! You're an animal! And you know what animals do? They lie in their own fucking piss!'
…training… training… the same words… pulled forward… held down... damp… cold through the hood… water seeps through the hood… putrid, stinking water… at his nose… eyes... hold breath... hold breath... struggles… desperate... to turn his head… but hands… forcing down… push down… mustn't breath… don't breath… shoulders thrashing… whole body pawing at the ground... concrete cuts... mustn't… mustn't breath… hold breath… hold breath… water… stinking water at his nose… own hands pulling at the ties… desperate… wrists cutting... legs kicking… thrashing… what, six holding him?... his voice?... whining... squealing?... desperate against the tape… held down... can't move… hold breath… wanting to… wanting to breath… push away… bucking back… panic… panic… stinking water in his nose... hood cloth sucking in at his face… held down... lungs splitting across his back… lungs splitting across his chest… nose… choking… gagging back of throat… garroted breath... held down... the filth's in his mouth… but can't swallow… can't swallow… mustn't swallow… will… breathe… more… of… the… stuff… in… held down... heart punching loud in his head… blackness... push back… push… back… held down… held down… shudders… sound of…
…sound of… last… choked throat… own last… faint… last… shudders…
Rodney… from the upper floor…
'Leave him alone! I'm working now! Leave him alone!'
…a closer voice… hands on his shoulders relax… pushes back… heaves in air… any air… heaves in air to fill aching splitting lungs… pushes back out of the stink… choking bile, mucus through his nose… stomach retching… coughing… that traps in his mouth… some sort of air… grateful… for some sort of air at edges of the hood … blows the stink out of his nose… nose… back of throat…
'Don't interfere. You keep to your area. Understand?'
'Well, just thought you'd like to know, I can't concentrate up here with all the racket you guys are making. Want me to finish or not? Oh, and another thing? Would a heater be too much to ask for too?'
…thanks… Rodney… thanks… curls into ball… panting through the stench that won't go… soaked into the hood… nausea… but can't… can't because of the tape… some sort of air… training… it'll be bad… think on that… and don't get caught… if you want enough of a reason, not to get caught… think on that… lucky then, John?... only an open drain... Rodney's voice…
'Who are they, anyway?'
'Mind your own business.'
'Just trying to be conversational.'
'Get back to work.'
'Ok… ok… I know, I know… targets to meet…'
…Rodney works… not good enough… and they shoot Hendrick or Paulo anyway… shot rings out… too exhausted to react… lying there… cold seeping in… nulling, numbing the pain… dumbing care… should have been the officer… why not him?... why not the fucking officer who got them all caught… Paulo sobbing under the gag… so its Hendrick… all dead men anyway… and Rodney's screaming…
'There was no need to do that! I was working! There was no need!'
'No. You are incorrect. We need to impress on you the necessity to keep to the schedule… the schedule McKay.'
…dragged back to the cells… Rodney's there too?... complaining… in the next cell?... curls up again… wincing… setting teeth against the pain… curls up… doesn't want Rodney to see… clattering of tins… Rodney's getting fed then… the thought of water… couldn't eat… but the thought of water… own mouth so dry and sore and the sour taste of vomit, blood and filthy water… lungs gravely… all in his lungs… footsteps receding…
'Oh my God, look at you… those bruises… I can't begin to imagine how much that hurts… Who are you?' Rodney asks all at once.
Paulo tries talking…
'They gagged you? Under hoods? Why?'
Yeah, why?...
'You those rebels from Rafisia?'
Rodney doesn't know… he cannot even guess… he cannot conceive that Lt. Col John Sheppard could possibly get captured… or that he's in the cell next door… Paulo tries talking again… a succession of hmmms… and… in another place… it'd be funny…
'No… I don't understand.'
…perhaps they should try morse code… too numb to try…
'There's some sort of wire mesh at the bars,' Rodney says.
…he sounds as if he's sitting against it… slurping drink… reminder of own thirst…
'I'm sorry they've fed me and not you… if you can call this food… I'd share… but you're all tied up… and I can't move this mesh anyway. I'd untie you if I could.'
…he's rambling… does that when he's worried… his voice… kinda soothing though… hours ago… the thought Rodney might not still be alive… and he is… talking… thing he does second best… after tech… Rodney apologises again… now that's different…
'Sorry about your friend… but… I can't… can't do this thing they're asking of me… you understand that don't you? It's a weapon, you see.'
What if they hear, Rodney?... what if they hear?... but Rodney would have checked first… continues…
'I don't know if you can understand… it's a weapons system that can knock out whole solar systems… I've never seen anything like it before… I can't let them get their hands on this… in fact, no one should…'
Todd… you after this?... Can't let you have it either… Todd!…
Pressure against his hand again.
Do not resist John Sheppard. It is not for me. I mean to ensure it is destroyed. It is my intention that no one should possess it… and that means Atlantis and Stargate Command too.
Sheppard is still now. Attentive. Listening.
You really want me to believe that?
Yes
Yes? To trust you? I mean, you don't always deal straight with us? I mean, you never deal straight with us. Trust you?
Yes… yes, trust.
'This is bigger than you or me,' Rodney continues, ' huh, now why does that sound like that line just walked out of some cheesy old film?... I intend…' lowers his voice… 'to… to…' uncertain if he is heard… 'a virus… always my plan… when I was alone… now you guys are here… well… well, that's not going to change… I'm sorry… I'm so sorry.'
…that he's signing their death warrant?... it's ok, Rodney… ok… it's how it should be…
'Of course, we might get rescued… Sheppard… I sort of work with this guy called Sheppard, well, actually, I'm his boss, he just sees to the military side of things where I come from…'
…Paulo's going crazy, trying to get a whole chain of mmms in…
'I can't understand you… yes… it'd be great if we get rescued… but you know… if we don't…'
…yeah, Rodney, we're dead men…
'You know… I'd just thought I'd explain…'
…nice speech… try that morse code… worth a try… through the haze that's goes for a brain… figures R… then O… then D… then Rodney is snoring…
...blank… fast forward?...
You are sleeping also.
I'm not a damned DVR player.
I do not understand. You were experiencing nightmares at this particular point.
Oh… Right…
We haven't the time neither did I believe you wished to see them.
…and what is all this, huh?... what is all this if it's not a goddamned nightmare?… Rodney's brought breakfast… he repeats things of the night before…
'If I can just get this mesh moved… one little corner here…'
…noise of scraping metal… it's not moving easily…
'I could get those hoods off and we could share… you'd have to come closer…'
…again the question, why the hoods and the gags?...
...not moving… not moving closer… doesn't want Rodney to see… back towards him… keep it that way… too nauseous for food anyway… and not enough time… they come for Rodney… 'get up! get up!' and they follow… dragged… too weak from beating... lack of food... water… standing… only just… swaying… near the sluice again… Rodney tapping away at a keyboard… won't do his virus yet… will to live… to survive… leave it to the end… when he finishes… but they'd expect that… they've abducted Rodney… they know what he can do… what he's capable of… they'll be expecting a trick like a virus… at the finish… what would prevent him?... what would stop him and his plan of a virus?...
…if they removed the hood of John Sheppard…
...if they removed the hood of John Sheppard, beaten and broken...
...there…
...right before Rodney…
...shock tactic…
...there, at the end…
…they knew of Atlantis… someone feeding them info… so they knew of Rodney and Sheppard and Teyla and Ronon… a close team… would do anything for one another… anything… Rodney would undo a virus for Sheppard… to save Sheppard… he would do that… just as they knew Sheppard would do anything for Rodney… proof of that… a stupid, stupid failed rescue mission… 'we've come to rescue McKay'… they'd seen it… seen it in his eyes… he'd do anything for Rodney… he hadn't been able to do flat… indifferent… his eyes had given him away…
Aundama
Aundama? What's that?
...sees… sees Todd and… two Ancients… held in a Wraith cell…
These are… these are my thoughts… yet you see them… you can do this?… you have this ability?
Seems so…
…the Ancients scared, even in the darkness, he can see that… battle weary and bloodied... one more so than the other, remaining sitting on the floor while the other rises at Todd's approach, protective and defiant, standing in front of his colleague…
I had the opportunity to feed on the two of them.
Spare me the details… I don't want to know… I don't want to see…
They were friends apparently. One wishing to be consumed before the other, offered himself first, if I allowed the other his freedom. The other, injured, was of no interest to me, though would suffice until the next feed. I had intended to feed on them both anyway.
I see it… but I don't want to know.
Why do this thing? I asked.
You asked?
I was curious, yes. I always strive for knowledge… understanding. And he explained 'aundama'… deep friendship that knows no bounds…
Yeah…
At that time, I believed only Wraith experienced this for brother warriors… humans… it was… surprising to me.
What did you do?
You truly do not know?...
…an hour standing… slowly moves forward… has to… to lean against the wall… feet in icy slimy water of the sluice… can't help it… and if it gets him another beating… hell, he doesn't care… plans to go before Paulo… that's gonna stop them… that will stop them using him to get Rodney to finish… make sure he's dead before Paulo… make sure they never get to take that hood off… but there's no reaction from these guys… no kick… no punch… no shout of warning… they don't seem to care that he's moved… simply confirms everything… confirms that if anyone dies today it's going to be Paulo… Paulo is going to be next… that's every goddamned man under his command… try harder then, John… try harder to get them to finish him off… deep breath… pushes away from the wall… runs… doesn't matter where… or what direction… nor that he's blind… and hurt… won't get far… just make them mad enough… mad enough to kill him… trips and falls… hits ground hard… no!... his side… his side… agony… that… that alone should kill him… rolls over… drawing up knees in agony… wait for it… wait for the kicking that will finish him off… wait for the bullet… wait… screws eyes tight even in the darkness of the hood… nothing… no kick… no bullet… only their laughter… hauled up by his elbows… dragged back to the wall… drops to the floor… half out, half in the sluice… no one cares… face in the dirty water again… that's all it gets him… laughter as they move away… expecting him to drag his face clear… that's all it gets him… a face full of dirty water again… right… a deep breathe in through his nose… doesn't even think about it… don't think what it'll be like to drown in a stinking puddle… choking again… gagging… nose cutting… lungs… Todd!... the hood sharply moved… blackness anyway… head pulled back by hair… mouth ripped free of tape… hand smashes across his face… gasps… forced to gasp… thrown over onto his front… retching till the tears roll… and the ache in his side so… so bad… surely… surely he's going to die of that…
'You just try that fucking trick again!'
…yeah! what?! else you're gonna kill me!... in the haze… feet… legs… bodies all round… careful… they're careful that Rodney can't see this… bloodied lips wiped by coarse sleeve… duct tape again… hood again… one parting kick… there… five, ten minutes… try again… they don't know John Sheppard… struggles to his knees… pain inside hot and cutting… death wish… laughs… inside… all this time… all this time trying to keep alive… now… a death wish… up… and running again… more determined… further… used to the blind feel of the floor… more balanced… further… slams hard into rifle… Christ!… shock… loses breath… doubles over… hard down on knees… snorting, panting hard through his nose… come on, guys… come on, guys… finish it… finish it… but dragged back to the sluice again… dumped… panting… pain… that's nothing to being fed on by a Wraith… shoulders pulled back… wrists tied to his ankles… could pass out… why doesn't he just die… why can't he just die?... this is agony… the pain alone should be stopping him… this is agony… agony… agony in his side… whimpers… knows he whimpers… still not giving up… won't give up… one of them… pacing… backwards and forwards… backwards and forwards… come closer… come closer, you bastard… they think he's half dead… perhaps he is… come closer, will you?... now!... throws himself over against the guy's legs… knocks him over… for real... for real... falls over Sheppard… more bruises… what does he care?... there beside him on the ground… head butts the guy… actually head butts the man… feels contact… hell, that feels good… hell, that ought to do it… they've just gotta be mad enough now…
'Fuck you! Fuck you, Sh-'…nearly says it… nearly says Sheppard… the guy nearly gives it away… and… fuck?... who says fuck?... and they've said it before… not noticed… never known an alien to say fuck?... no alien says that…
Todd!... They're from Earth!... They're from Earth…
Feet are untied… mind thinking… racing… thinking ten thousand things… mind loses Todd… mind too crowded in a black stinking hood… what does Todd say?... dragged again… feet raw with being dragged… why won't they kill him?... they don't… they don't… he dies later… later… more hell to come… more… Todd forcing him on… won't say anything… forcing him on to find him his goddamned clues… nanosecond… thinks of Rodney… why is Rodney so quiet?... witness to this… they've hurt him?… silenced him… what are they doing?... Paulo… Paulo close… moaning… loudly moaning… but they've been moved away from the sluice… panic… what the hell's going on?… they're going to kill Paulo now?... and not shooting him?… pulled up… pushed forward… soft… soft flesh in front… bent over… over Paulo?… over Paulo's back?…what the hell?... Paulo cold… clammy… fear… no!... no!... struggling like crazy… not going to do this… not going to do this… dread… dread… dread have a sound?… heart thumping dread… sound of dread… screaming behind his gag… no!... no!... hands holding him… pushing him against Paulo… Paulo over a table?... hands untied… forced to touch Paulo… Paulo trying to push him away… forced to touch Paulo… not going to do this… not going to do this... his sweat… sticks to Paulo…
'Come on, Sheppard, isn't this what you military boys do all the time?'
...their laughter...
…they're from Earth!… have to be… pulls one hand free…
'Come on, bet it's been a while.'
…they're from Earth… have to be… free hand lashes out… grabbed… laid flat on the table, palm down… explodes… screams exploding against the tape… a world exploding… black… red… stars… his hand smashed… slumps on top of Paulo… Paulo panics... struggles more… frantically moaning… heaving backwards… helpless… helpless…
...no… no… no…
Todd!
half sobs... clutches at his head... and then his fists pressed hard at his eyes... anything... anything to drive out the gouging pain behind his eyes, the hot arcing pain at his temples... the Wraith contact... ripped from the Wraith contact... Todd has moved?... Hell, Todd, you might have warned me!... Hell, Todd!... Throws himself face down on the bed, panting, screwing his face into the sheet... anything... anything... to ease the throbbing pain... Hell, Todd! You might have said!... five minutes... and he raises his head at last... to find he is alone in the chamber...