Here We Go

"Do you have any questions, Bella?"

I was once again in this terrifying setting, waiting for something that would change my life forever. The detectives, Mrs. Andrews, Dr. Levsky, Edward and Rosalie were all standing around me in a tiny room, waiting for the court to reconvene.

"Do you think I'm prepared enough?" I asked Mrs. Andrews quietly.

She squatted down so that I was eye-level with her. "You're more than prepared. You are more prepared than I could ever make you."

"You can do this, Bella," Dr. Lesky murmured reassuringly. "You've been ready for a long time."

"We'll be right there with you," Edward added. "All of us will make sure you're safe."

"See?" Rosalie said very gently. "I knew that you were strong enough."

I reached forward and gripped her hand. "You'll make sure he won't get to me, right?" While everyone else's presence was very touching, the Cullens' presence was the most important to me and only Rosalie could understand what I felt right now.

"I will," she said reassuringly with a squeeze. "He won't get to you."

A few moments later, the bailiff entered the room. "Court is back in session."

All too soon I was walking down that foreboding hallway that seemed to go on for miles. The detectives pushed through the doors for me and I followed Mrs. Andrews with Rosalie and Edward by my side.

The bailiff announced the Judge Lardner's presence and we sat down after she did. "The prosecution may proceed," she declared with a wave of her hand.

Mrs. Andrews stood and my heart started pounding. "The state calls Isabella Dwyer to the stand."

Rosalie and Edward both squeezed my hands as I stood up. My knees were shaking and I felt as if I would fall back down in the seat, but I refused. I clenched my jaw and walked forward. The witness stand loomed ever closer, but I held on to my confidence. Now was not the time to let it go.

After the bailiff swore me in, Mrs. Andrews walked toward me with a reassuring smile on her face. I took in a deep breath that I hoped would calm my jittery nerves.

"Ms. Dwyer, where were you on November third at approximately three forty in the afternoon?"

"I was coming home from school," I answered automatically.

"Was there anything out of the ordinary when you got home?"

"My parents weren't there. They told me they would be, so I just waited."

"What happened while you waited?"

I swallowed. "I went to the closet in the hallway to hang up my coat. When I opened the door, I saw my mother sitting on the floor."

"What was she doing there?"

"She was hiding."

"From whom?"

My glance flickered to Alan behind Mrs. Andrews. His face was the same as ever and his smirk complacent. Instead of shying away from that repulsive face, I sat a little straighter in my seat. "From Alan."

"Why?"

"He attacked her."

"How do you know?"

A chill ran down my spine and my arms raised with goose bumps. "When she saw me, she pulled me into the closet with her to protect me. She said she was going to try and hold him off and when I asked her why she was hiding, she wouldn't answer. Then Alan came into the house and Mom leapt from the closet to attack him. That's how I knew. That's also when I realized that she was in nothing but her underwear."

"What happened after that?"

I thought my answer over carefully. "She kept attacking him because she was trying to keep him away from me. But I didn't want her to get hurt, so I pushed her away and told her to run. I kept telling her to run and that I would keep him away. She finally did."

Mrs. Andrews paused. I knew the question that was coming next and she was giving me time to mentally prepare myself for it. I took in a deep breath before she asked her next question. "And what happened after your mother ran away?"

The courtroom disappeared before me as the memories all came rushing back. But this time, I didn't fight it.

"When my mother left, he grabbed me and kissed me. I tried to fight him off, but he was too strong. Then he punched me in the stomach and I passed out. When I woke up, I was chained to a bed in nothing but my underwear."

Murmurs rang through the courtroom, but I was too lost in the memories to focus on them. The judge banged her gavel several times and called for order. When the room quieted down, Mrs. Andrews continued with her interrogation.

"What happened after you woke up?"

Unconsciously, I raised my hand to my throat and scratched. "Alan came into the room with a rope. He tied it around my neck and squeezed to the point that I couldn't breathe. He kept telling me to scream, louder and louder. Then he started punching me and slapping me. I don't know how long it lasted, but it felt like a really long time.

"When he was finished, he ripped off my underwear and…and he…he…"

The words wouldn't come. I watched in these horrifying memories as Alan did unspeakable things to me. I felt sore all over, but I continued.

"He raped me." I was barely aware of the tears that were streaming from my eyes. "He raped me over and over again. He would slap me, hit me, hurt me as much as he could so that I was too weak to fight back. I was chained to that bed for a week. I couldn't leave, not even to go to the bathroom."

The shaking had risen to uncontrollable levels. It was humiliating, reliving these terrors for people I didn't even know. But it was terrifying to do so in front of the man that ruined me so completely. The primal self-preservation instinct screamed at me to stop, to run away. Panic blocked my throat and Alan's furious expression tore through my heart.

I couldn't do this. What in the world made me think I could in the first place? I tried before and that ended in disaster. This would end even worse.

But a sudden wave of calm washed through me. My jittering eased slightly, enough for my hands to lie relatively still in my lap. I looked up into the audience to where the Cullen family was sitting. Edward and Jasper were watching me with identical, protective expressions. Rosalie sat next to them with a fierce look in her eyes.

I took in another deep breath. I had to do this. Running away was no longer an option; and besides, I wasn't just fighting for myself, or my parents. I was fighting for Rosalie and Esme, and everyone who suffered abuse.

This fight was more than just Alan and me. This was bigger than I could ever imagine. But it had to end, and I was going to end it myself.

"Can you tell the court how often he raped you?"

I looked straight in Mrs. Andrews' eyes, afraid to let my eyes wander anywhere else. "Everyday, I think. I never knew the time, so I can't be sure."

She came closer, making sure to block Alan from my view. "How did Mr. Vickers rape you, Bella?"

I clutched at my arms. "It was different all the time. He'd tie a bag over my head sometimes and sometimes he'd use a rope. He liked choking me a lot." My throat hurt just remembering it. "Sometimes he would rape me with a flashlight." I trembled all over as my body relived the agonizing pain. "One time he used a baseball bat. And then…" I forced myself to swallow, "and then he beat me over the head with it."

Silence echoed through the courtroom as my words sank in. I didn't dare look at anything other than my hands for fear of the reactions I didn't want to see.

After an extended pause, Mrs. Andrews asked her final question. "Did he tell you why he did it, Bella?"

"He said he loved me," I whispered. "He said he loved me and that this was the only way we could be together. He said this was the only way he could make me his."

Mrs. Andrews shot me a reassuring half smile before turning away. "No further questions, your honor."

Part of me was relieved that her questions were over. But a greater part of me knew that something much worse was coming.

The moment Mrs. Andrews sat down, Mr. Townsend stood up. "Ms. Dwyer…where were you the evening before, the incident?"

I was bewildered, but I forced my memory to go further than where it was. "Um…I was in the emergency room."

"Why?"

Mrs. Andrews leapt up. "Objection, your honor. Relevance?"

But Mr. Townsend ignored her. "Why were you in the emergency room, Bella?"

I was confused and overwhelmed. He was standing much too close and my guard immediately flew up. I knew the only way to make him go away was to answer the question. So I did.

"I hit my head during P.E."

"You hit your head during P.E. Was this the first time you've ended up in the emergency room after an accident in your physical education class?"

"Objection!" shouted Mrs. Andrews.

But Mr. Townsend was persistent. "Was it, Ms. Dwyer?"

"No, but—"

"Thank you. On average, how many hours would you say you spend in the emergency room in a month?"

"I don't—"

"Answer the question, Ms. Dwyer."

"Objection, your honor! He's badgering the witness!"

The judge tried to interrupt. "Counsel—"

"Answer the question, Ms. Dwyer!"

"I don't know!" I cried in reply. Everyone was shouting and screaming and I was so confused. "I probably went to the emergency room once or twice a week!"

"Once or twice a week…so you have a history of hurting yourself, and you had a head injury the night before you're so-called 'abduction.' Very convenient, Ms. Dwyer."

"Your honor, this entire line of questioning is completely irrelevant!" Mrs. Andrews argued. "He is clearly badgering the witness and disregarding the rules in your own court! The last testimony should be struck from the record!"

"Your honor, I am simply trying to establish the fact that Ms. Dwyer has an affinity for unfortunate accidents, an affinity that might very well explain her injuries. How do we know that her bruises were not self-inflicted? And how do we know that her testimony is entirely truthful? People who have suffered numerous concussions have been known to hallucinate."

"Are you telling me that you think her story is a hallucination?" Mrs. Andrews demanded.

"What other explanation is there?" Mr. Townsend shouted back.

I was vaguely aware that Judge Lardner was banging her gavel and calling for order, but I didn't care. My ears were ringing and my clenched fists were trembling. I was so furious that I couldn't even think clearly.

"Your honor, this is ridiculous! Counsel obviously sees that he has no defense so he's stooped to badgering and leading the witness!"

"Or maybe I'm trying to show that Ms. Dwyer may have a deep history of dementia! It's well documented that people who suffer regular concussions eventually lose—"

"Quiet, the both of you!" cried Judge Lardner. "I will not have this chaos in the court! Now the both of you will sit down and—"

I couldn't take it anymore. The rage was building so deep that I had to do something. So I slowly stood up from the severe wooden chair in that claustrophobic witness stand and concentrated my gaze at the defense attorney.

"Mr. Townsend," I began in a shaky and quiet voice. The entire courtroom fell silent at my words. "Imagine that one of your close family friends chained you to a bed. Imagine that this friend beat you every night until you coughed up blood. Imagine that he choked you with plastic bags and ropes until you couldn't even breathe. Imagine that you'd been locked up for a week, screaming until your throat was sore and ravaged.

"And then imagine him raping you every night as he beat you over and over again. Imagine him scratching every inch of your skin and pulling on your legs until he dislocated your arms from your shoulders. Imagine that you're all alone with nothing but this monster dredged up from your worst nightmares torturing you every night. Imagine not being able to leave the bed to eat or even go to the bathroom.

"Imagine him whispering to you that he loved you over and over again. Imagine him killing your father right before your eyes and imagine him raping your mother before he plunged a knife into her stomach. Then imagine him whispering that you're his for all eternity. Can you, Mr. Townsend? Can you imagine?"

The room was deathly quiet. Mr. Townsend didn't say a word. He couldn't even look me in the eyes.

"You can't, can you?"

He didn't answer.

"Neither can I."

Mrs. Andrews smiled smugly and Mr. Townsend looked away. "No further questions, your honor," he said quietly as he walked back to his table.

Mrs. Andrews eyed the defense attorney warily before she resumed her seat. The distrust was plain as day in her expression.

Judge Lardner nodded and turned to me with a kind, maternal expression. "Ms. Dwyer, you may step down."

I didn't hesitate. The moment the words left her mouth, I opened the little gate and walked off toward the audience without once looking back.

Judge Lardner called for another recess, and I immediately fled the courtroom to the waiting room down the hall. Rosalie was close behind.

"Bella, you were wonderful," she said with a brilliant smile on her inhumanly beautiful face. She came forward to wrap me in a strong hug. I squeezed her back as hard as I could, but my feeble strength was nothing compared to her grip.

"Rosalie, it was so hard," I whispered. "I didn't think I could do it. I thought I would fall apart on the witness stand for everyone to see."

"I know it was hard," she murmured back. "But you were amazing. I'm so proud of you."

Seconds later, Mrs. Andrews and the detectives burst through the door, followed shortly by Dr. Levsky and the rest of the Cullen family.

"Bella, that was so powerful," Mrs. Andrews said fervently. "I really think you got the jury to listen to you. There's no way he's going to get off this time."

"Very good job, Bella," agreed Dr. Levsky, beaming widely. "I don't think I've ever been so proud of anyone I've ever counseled." Detectives Anderson and Manning nodded with congratulatory smiles of their own.

But as wonderful as their words were, none of them were as important to me as Edward. His reaction was what I feared the most.

Almost as if on cue, I turned and Edward was there. Immediately, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closely to him. "You are the strongest being I've ever met, human or otherwise," he murmured, just loud enough for me to hear. "I love you, Bella."

I didn't say anything in reply. I just clung to him tightly, refusing to let go.

"All rise for the honorable Judge Lardner," the bailiff announced.

I rose to my very shaky knees. Edward stood on my right side while Rosalie stood on my left. Both of them were gripping my hands as hard as they could without breaking my bones. Their presence was the only thing that kept me from collapsing back into my seat.

Alan turned around for a brief moment and I made the mistake of looking back. He glared at me with piercing black eyes and a thrill of terror ran through me. But I knew in the back of my mind that this terror was not as strong as it had been and I took comfort in the difference.

Beside me, Edward growled. It wasn't very loud, but it was a menacing sound nonetheless and it made me shiver. A spasm of fear flashed across Alan's face and he quickly turned back around to face the front.

Judge Lardner took her seat and everyone followed suit. My heart started pounding in my ears; this was it. This was the moment that I had been leading up to for the past five months.

It would finally end here.

Judge Lardner cleared her throat imperiously. "Foreman? Has the jury reached a verdict?"

The foreman stood. "We have, your honor."

"What say you?"

"On the count of aggravated sexual assault…we the jury, find the defendant, Alan Vickers, guilty."

The courtroom erupted into murmurs, but I didn't hear a single one of them. I was too focused on my knees giving out.

"On the count of rape, we the jury find the defendant, Alan Vickers, guilty."

I couldn't believe. I just couldn't believe it.

"Bella!" Detective Manning cried excitedly. "Bella, you did it! You did it!"

All of a sudden, my chest felt lighter. The hole that had been slowly mending over the past five months left nothing but a vague scar, unnoticeable at first sight. I finally felt my spirit and my mother's spirit laid to rest.

"Bella, it's over!" Mrs. Andrews turned around and shouted the moment Judge Lardner banged her gavel. "He's in prison! You did it!"

Everyone around me was celebrating the victory. Everyone had accepted the outcome so readily, as if they were expecting it. But I wasn't. The news was taking its sweet time reaching me.

I spent countless nights on end, avoiding sleep to avoid that haunting face. I lost myself in every little task I performed to avoid dredging up unwanted memories. I scratched away at my arm to chase the numbness that I so desperately desired.

For so long, I nursed the hole in my chest, uselessly trying to bury the events that I wasn't strong enough to face. But now, I was here. I was here surrounded by people who loved and cared for me, enough that they would fly all the way to Phoenix to hold my hand as I watched the monster from my worst nightmares carried away to prison.

He was gone now. He was gone and he was never coming back.

"Edward," I whispered. "It's over."

He smiled brilliantly and I was almost knocked over by its force. "Yes, love. It's over."

Tears started brimming in the bottom of my eyelids. The weight of it all lifting from my shoulders…never before had I realized what I was carrying with me. I couldn't understand how heavy it was until I finally let it go. And when I did, it felt so, so good.

I threw my arms around his neck and he wrapped his arms around my waist as I sobbed into his shoulder. I was free. I was free.

When we finally let each other go, I turned and hugged Rosalie as well.

"Thank you, Bella," she said. Her expression was so powerful, so ambivalent that I was sure if she were capable, tears would have been streaming from her eyes.

"For what, Rosalie?" I asked.

"For everything," she said in reply. "You finally overcame what I never could. And you accomplished what I never could."

I shook my head. "But—"

She cut me off. "Thank you for sharing this victory with me, Bella."

I lifted my chin to kiss her on the forehead. "I never could have done it without your strength."

When the celebrating died down, Detectives Manning and Anderson helped escort me out of the courtroom.

"There's bound to be a mob waiting for you outside," Detective Anderson warned me. "Are you sure you're ready?"

I nodded. "I've been ready for a long time."

He wasn't exaggerating. The moment the doors opened for me, bulbs were flashing and microphones were shoved in my face. A million different reporters were shouting their questions at me, and none of them were comprehendible by any stretch of the imagination.

"Ms. Dwyer! Ms. Dwyer!" One reporter managed to make herself heard over the throng of others. "How do you feel about the ruling?"

"Relieved," I said in reply.

"Ms. Dwyer, do you feel any remorse for what happened?"

"Every single day," I answered. "I wish none of had ever happened, but I can't go back and change the past. It's over, as much as I wish it weren't. All I can do now is keep rebuilding."

I decided that that was the last question I was ever going to answer about this ordeal. So with the detectives' help, I managed to push my way through the crowd of crazed reporters. When they realized that I didn't want to talk to them anymore, they slowly dissipated, looking for other sources that might help them with their stories.

But I should have known that it wouldn't be that easy…after all, nothing in my life is.

As our group made its way to exit the courthouse, a very familiar face loomed into view. "Bella," the man called jovially. "Congratulations."

Before I could realize what was going on, something small and sharp pierced my chest with a crushing blow and I felt myself falling backwards from its force.

"NO!" Edward's roar echoed through the drafty hallway. The detectives leapt at the man, causing him to drop his gun to the tile with a loud clatter.

I felt the bullet lodged deep into my chest and the blood was seeping out, slowly staining my clothes as it dripped to the floor. All around me, people were rushing and shouting. But none of that mattered now.

I struggled to hold onto what little breath I had left. "Edward," I whispered. "I love you. Please, don't let me die." The fingers gripping him went limp and the blackness overtook me. And all I could hear as I drifted into the light was my angel's frantic sobs.

A/N - Sorry for leaving you on such a cliff-hanger! Well...not really. :)

In case you haven't read the blog, this is the last chapter and an epilogue is soon to come. If you review, I'll feel more motivated to write/update faster. -nudge nudge, wink wink-

And all of you guys should thank Idyllic Nocturne for beta-ing so quickly.