Chapter 3.
The sun rose, casting an annoying ray of light through a small hole in the tarp of Kate and Sawyer's tent. The disruption of darkness caused the pair to awaken instantly, although both tried to fight it.
Sawyer was the first to give up. Glancing over at Kate, who still had her eyes shut stubbornly against the dawning day, he smiled. He never got tired of watching her.
Perhaps sensing his attention, Kate finally opened her eyes.
"Morning, Freckles," Sawyer said, looking amused at something. Kate decided to ignore the look, whatever it was.
"Morning," she said, yawning.
"And how's Peanut this morning?" Sawyer asked. He always asked her this question; Kate figured it was for the sheer pleasure of annoying her with the nickname.
She rolled her eyes, deciding it was her turn to tease him. "It's awake," she said simply. She waited for Sawyer's response.
It took a couple of seconds, but she got what she was expecting. "Aren't you going to tell me not to call it Peanut?" he asked, sounding slightly disappointed.
She grinned. "I don't see the point. You're just going to keep calling it that anyway, aren't you?"
Sawyer's disappointment started to show a little more. "So you're not going to fight me about it anymore?"
"Nope," answered Kate, grinning even more. She knew she was winning today, whatever the battle was.
"Where's the fun in that?" Sawyer asked. As Kate started to laugh, he grabbed her, pulling her on top of him and holding her there. He'd known what she was doing all along, Kate figured, but it had still been fun.
Their playful bantering was quickly halted by an anguished scream coming from outside the tent. Suddenly terrified, they stayed perfectly still, wanting to know what they would be walking into when they left the tent.
The scream gave way to heart-wrenching sobbing. It was drawing closer to their tent. They sat up, holding onto each other protectively. Before long, they heard distinct voices, words being formed.
"It's okay, Juliet. It's going to be okay." Jack, trying to comfort the distraught woman.
"We were so close! I thought I had it this time!" Juliet. Sawyer felt his whole body chill. A glance at Kate told him she was feeling the same.
"You did your best. Everyone knows that."
"It wasn't enough, though, was it? She's dead! I said I could help her."
"You did help her, okay? You know that."
"What about Kate? I was so sure I had it figured out with Sun, and I was wrong. I don't know if I have enough time now to..." she gave way to sobs once more. Through a small gap in the tarp, Sawyer watched as Jack held Juliet, supporting her, before leading her away.
He glanced down at Kate, now wrapped in his arms, clinging to him tightly. Her face was pale and set, her eyes unseeing. He knew he must have looked little different.
"Sun's dead," she said quietly, a slight trace of panic evident in her voice. He couldn't answer her. As she looked up at him, he saw she was thinking the same thing as him. It was real now.
Later that day, still in shock, Kate and Sawyer went to talk to Juliet. As much as they would have liked to forget what had happened, and ignore what would happen, they needed answers.
They found her sitting on the beach alone, staring out at sea. She was crying still, looking utterly defeated, although when she saw them approaching she attempted to compose herself. A slightly professional look appeared on her face. In a way, it was almost more painful for Kate to see than the look of despair.
"I'm still going to try to help you," Juliet said, sounding determined, the moment Kate and Sawyer were beside her. They said nothing. Juliet continued.
"It's possible that you conceived on the other island. It's different there; it might make a difference. And rescue is coming. Getting off the island might help, if... if it gets here in time." She broke down crying again.
Kate sat down on the sand next to her, wanting to comfort her, but feeling too terrified for her own fate, not to mention grief for the loss of her friend, to manage much sympathy for someone else. Juliet seemed to appreciate the gesture all the same.
"How did it happen?" Sawyer asked, remaining on his feet, his voice sounding strangely tight.
"Sawyer..." Kate said, shaking her head slightly. He ignored her.
"How did she die?" he asked again, forcefully.
Juliet looked up at him regretfully. It was obvious why he was asking. "She bled out," she said softly.
"Was it quick?" Sawyer asked, trying hard to keep his emotions in check.
"No." Juliet responded. Kate gave a slightly strangled cry. Still ignoring her, Sawyer asked one more question.
"Did she feel it?"
Juliet didn't answer. She glanced at Kate, who was staring down at the sand, avoiding everyone's eyes.
"Was she in pain?" Sawyer tried again, though it was obviously difficult for him to ask.
Juliet could only nod in response, before the tears started to fall again. Sawyer stared at Kate, looking as though he'd never seen her before. Then he stormed off without another word.
Kate sat in shock. That was how she was going to die, scared and in agony. She felt Juliet staring at her. She avoided her eyes. She didn't want to see the pity, the fear, the acceptance of her fate that she knew would be staring at her. She knew Juliet had said she'd help, but today had proved there was really nothing she could do.
"I really thought it would be different this time," Juliet said suddenly, startling Kate.
"What?" Kate asked, confused.
"Sun made it further than anyone else has. I thought there was a chance." Juliet paused, furiously wiping away tears, trying, still, to maintain her composure.
"She's the tenth woman I've had to watch die. I'm so tired of seeing death. I want to see life again. I want to deliver a live baby and see the look on a mother's face as she sees her child for the first time. That's what my job is supposed to be about. Making miracles happen."
Kate considered that. It suddenly struck her how different things were turning out to be. Nothing here was the way it was supposed to be. Where there was supposed to be life, there was death. And where life was never wanted, it was there, fighting to exist.
"I never even wanted kids. I always thought I'd be a horrible mother. Even when I found out I was pregnant, I tried to forget it was happening. It didn't feel real. And then this happens, and I want this baby. I want to live; I want the baby to live. And it's just hit me that it isn't going to happen." She was crying now, too.
Juliet suddenly moved closer. Kate rested her head on her shoulder, sobbing. Juliet cried with her, the two women leaning against one another, sharing whatever comfort they could muster.
After leaving Kate and Juliet, Sawyer disappeared into the jungle. He'd just found out how Kate was going to die. He kept imagining it, her blood, and her screams. In a way, he wished he could stop thinking about it. At the same time, he wanted to be prepared. Maybe it would make it easier when it actually happened.
He wanted to be alone with his thoughts. He figured he deserved that. Until he stumbled across Jin sitting alone in the jungle. He'd never seen anyone looking so lost and defeated.
He wanted to do something. He knew he should. He had no idea what. What do you say to someone whose wife just died? Especially considering that person won't understand what you're saying anyway.
He looked at Jin, and he saw his future. That would be him in a few months time. He knew nothing anyone said to him would be able to help.
So he didn't say anything. He went and sat beside Jin, not looking at him, staying completely silent. They stayed that way for hours, until Jin finally stood. Looking at Sawyer gratefully, Jin nodded, and left. Sawyer waited a few minutes, then followed.
Juliet vanished a week later.
No one at the camp saw it happen. Jack was frantic. Ben, long held their prisoner, had also disappeared. It was easy for everyone to imagine what had happened, but no one dared to say anything to their leader.
Not that it mattered. Rousseau confirmed everyone's fears and suspicions a few hours after the fact. Arriving at the camp, she spoke only to Jack, although everyone else stood around listening, watching. Kate and Sawyer were among the group. They stood silently, picturing the scenario Rousseau was describing.
Ben, running through the jungle. Juliet beside him, struggling to free herself. She was his prisoner. From what Rousseau said, Ben had managed to subdue her somehow (most likely drugs, hypothesised Jack, but who knew where he got them?). She wasn't at her full strength. Otherwise, she could have easily overpowered him.
As soon as it was clear that Rousseau had told them everything, Kate and Sawyer slipped away from the group, back to the sanctuary of their tent.
"Do you think she's alright?" asked Kate in a hushed voice the moment they were alone.
Sawyer didn't look optimistic, his face reflecting all the fears Kate was currently feeling. "She betrayed them. I don't know if she was one of us, but she's not one of them. And you know what they're capable of," he replied, sounding genuinely worried.
"Jack said they were willing to kill her once before," Kate suddenly remembered, a chill washing over her.
"What about Ben?" Sawyer said, changing the subject. "Why did he wait til now to run for it? And why did he take Juliet with him?"
"It doesn't make sense. He's been gone for so long, and from what we've heard a lot of people over there have wanted to get rid of him. Does he really think they'll just accept him back, same as before?" countered Kate.
They fell into silence. Neither was willing to ask the question that was really bothering them. What would happen to Kate now her doctor had disappeared? So instead they acted as though all their concern was for their friend. It was easier that way.
Kate and Sawyer were barely beginning to recover from the shock of Sun's death and Juliet's disappearance when another life-changing situation presented itself.
A ship, clearly visible on the horizon. Rescue had finally arrived.
While everyone else was running around the beach celebrating, Kate and Sawyer lay together in their tent. They couldn't bring themselves to see the good news in this event.
"They're going to arrest me," Kate said quietly, a lone tear making its way down her face. Sawyer didn't answer. There was nothing to say. He held her hand tightly, not wanting to let her go.
"What should we do?" she asked him, pleading for a solution. "Rose and Bernard are gone. I heard them; they're not leaving the island. Maybe I could stay too."
"No," said Sawyer, his firm tone surprising Kate.
"You know what Juliet said. You'll die if you stay here. Getting off the island might be your only chance. You have to get on that boat."
Kate stared at him, stunned. "They'll put me in prison. I'll never be free again," she said, trying to make him understand.
"At least you'll be alive."
"Will I want to be?" she countered, tears flowing thick and fast. Sawyer pulled her to him, holding her close, wishing it were enough.
"You have to do this. Give yourself a chance. Give the baby a chance. Hell, do it for Peanut if nothing else."
"Don't call it Peanut." It came out muffled against his shirt.
"Please, Kate," he begged.
It took her a long time to answer. Eventually she raised her head from his chest and nodded wearily.
Silently thanking her, Sawyer pulled her in for a kiss.
tbc.