Chapter 7.

The balloons were blown up, streamers were hung, and Kate and Sawyer were standing in the middle of their living room, hoping they hadn't forgotten anything important. This was their little girl's first birthday party and they wanted it to be perfect. Only problem was neither of them had the slightest clue what to do for a birthday party, having never had great parties of their own as kids. They'd spent weeks debating themes, buying gifts and organising invitations. In the end, they'd decided she wasn't going to remember the day anyway, so an afternoon with Hurley was planned, along with cake and a few simple decorations to provide the right atmosphere.

It hadn't been an easy decision to make. Kate's trial would begin in exactly one week. They accepted that this was likely to be the only birthday Kate would be around to celebrate, and for that reason Sawyer had wanted to throw an extravagant party for her benefit, regardless of what the birthday girl would take in.

However, Kate had managed to convince him that she wanted her daughter to herself on her birthday, as if one birthday of undivided attention would make up for all the ones she'd miss. And so, the small gathering was planned.

The day was, of course, marred by a few minor disagreements. When Sawyer brought out the cake he'd picked out, having made Kate promise not to look at it since bringing it home, Kate couldn't help voicing her opinion of the message displayed.

"'Happy Birthday, Peanut,'" she read. She looked at Sawyer as though she couldn't believe he'd actually chosen that. "I guess I should have known better than to let you get the cake."

Sawyer pretended to be wounded. "I thought you loved the 'Happy Birthday Freckles' cake I got you on your birthday."

Kate rolled her eyes, deciding there was no point in pursuing it. At that moment the doorbell rang, signalling Hurley's arrival.

"You get the door, I'll get Peanut ready," Kate directed Sawyer before heading upstairs, missing the salute Sawyer directed at her retreating back.

Arriving at the baby's room, Kate took a moment to stare at her daughter. She loved to watch her entertain herself, discover her world. She was different when she was alone. It was like she was offering a glimpse of who she'd become as she got older.

She didn't have time to watch today, though. She stepped into the room, grinning as the baby noticed her presence. By the time she reached the crib the girl was standing up, holding onto the bars for support, as she always did when she was ready to leave her crib.

"Hey, Poppet. Are you ready to party?" she said, tickling the girl a little before picking her up.

"No." Her most commonly spoken word.

"You're not? That's a shame. Daddy's downstairs waiting for us, and Uncle Hurley." She danced around the room a little, eliciting giggles from the toddler in her arms.

"Dad."

"Yes, Daddy. Can you say 'Mommy'?" she tried. Kate knew she could say it; she just never seemed to want to.

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"No."

Kate planted a kiss on her baby's head, chuckling a little. She decided to take a bit of time to spend alone with her daughter, despite the fact that there were people waiting for them. She sat down in the armchair by the window, picking up the favourite teddy bear. Holding it just out of the baby's reach she started playing again.

"Do you want Teddy?" she asked, wiggling the bear around enticingly.

"No," came the reply, while chubby little arms reached for the bear. Kate continued to hold the bear at a teasing distance, making him dance around, until her daughter's face started to crumple. Feeling a little bad, she then danced the bear into the girl's waiting arms, turning her pout into a smile again. As the child promptly stuffed the bear's ear into her mouth, Kate pulled her close to her, wishing the moment would last forever.

Realising that if she stayed where she was for much longer Sawyer would come looking for her, she sighed, and got up. Quickly dressing the baby in her party clothes, she headed back downstairs.

"Happy birthday, Peanut!" Hurley yelled, taking her from Kate the minute she entered the living room. The baby giggled, always happy to see Hurley.

"Ha! Ha!" she said excitedly, pulling on Hurley's hair.

"Dude, did you hear that?" said Hurley to Kate and Sawyer, just as excited. "I think she's trying to say Hurley!"

Sawyer scoffed. "She's probably just laughing at you," Kate lightly hit him on the arm. It sounded to her like Peanut was saying Hurley's name as well.

"Aw, my little baby's growing up. I can't believe she's one already," She said, looking a little teary.

"Yeah, it's pretty amazing," agreed Sawyer, looking at his daughter fondly.

Hurley, seemingly aware that he was about to be caught up in a moment of emotional remembrance, set the baby on the floor in front of a giant stack of gifts. Sitting beside her, he started handing her the gifts one by one, trying to get her interested in all the new toys. Unfortunately for him, she was more interested in the brightly coloured wrapping paper. Giving up, Hurley went to join Kate and Sawyer.

Seated in various armchairs and couches around the room, the adults began to catch up. Hurley, as always, was their source of information regarding their fellow castaways, and every time Kate and Sawyer saw him he had something new to tell them.

"So, there are gifts over there from Claire, Sayid and Jin. I spoke to Claire last night, and she told me to tell you that she still wants to come and meet Peanut, and see you again. There's just the small problem of having to fly from Sydney to LA," Hurley reported.

Kate nodded, understanding. She missed Claire, but she couldn't blame her for not wanting to attempt that fateful journey again.

"Jin's been taking English lessons in Korea," Hurley continued. "It's really cool; we can almost have proper conversations now."

"Well, we'll have to give him a call then, won't we, Freckles?" said Sawyer, sounding impressed.

Apparently unsure of whether or not he was being sarcastic, Hurley ignored him and went on with his update. "Jack's not doing so good. He wants to get back to the island to rescue Juliet. He seems pretty sure that she's still alive."

"He's still saying that?" asked Sawyer, not sure he wanted to know the answer. At first they'd passed his remarks off as nothing, but if nothing had changed in the past year...

Hurley nodded in response. "He's been calling me a lot. He wants to get in touch with Desmond, and he knows I know where he is."

"Why does he want to talk to Desmond all of a sudden?" Kate wondered.

"Penny." Sawyer realised. As far as they knew, she'd done the more research than anyone in finding the location of the island, so if Jack wanted to talk to her, it meant that he was pretty serious about getting back. It wasn't a comforting thought.

"Have you heard from Michael lately?" asked Kate, hoping to change the subject. Hurley's expression darkened considerably.

"He's pretty messed up. Walt's being difficult I think. I dunno. Michael doesn't really say much. I know he's feeling guilty though, about Ana Lucia and Libby. He keeps asking me to forgive him."

Neither Kate nor Sawyer knew what to say to that. On the one hand, they too had been betrayed by Michael, and so it was hard for them to truly empathise with him. On the other hand, they knew the kind of guilt that accompanied the act of taking a human life. Hating Michael for what he'd done meant hating that part of themselves.

Usually, it was easier for them to ignore any thought of Michael that came into their heads. Kate now wished she'd chosen something else to talk about.

Luckily, at that moment the baby decided she'd had enough of the lack of attention being directed her way. Pulling herself to her feet using the coffee table for support, she looked over at her parents.

"Ma!" she called out.

Kate instantly stood up, and started to go over to her. Before she could move, however, Sawyer grabbed her arm.

"Just wait," he said. In that instant, Kate had noticed what he had. Still holding onto the table, the girl had started to take small, tottering steps in their direction. This in itself was nothing new; she'd been walking around holding onto things for a little while now, but she'd never walked unsupported before.

Kneeling down a little way away from the coffee table, Kate held out her arms.

"Come here, baby," She said encouragingly. The baby looked a little doubtful for a moment, before letting go of the table and walking, unsteadily, straight into her mother's arms. As Sawyer whooped triumphantly, Kate held her daughter close, trying to hide her tears. She was so proud, and so happy, and so relieved that she'd gotten to see this moment. At the same time, it felt like a kick in the gut. What other important moments would she miss out on as her little girl grew up?

"Did you get it?" asked Sawyer eagerly, confusing Kate. Looking up, she realised Hurley was holding a camcorder.

"Yep, I got it," Hurley confirmed.

Kate looked at him curiously. "How long have you had that here?" she asked, growing suspicious at the look that passed between him and Sawyer.

After a slight pause, Sawyer explained. "We're making a video. We've been filming you and Peanut in secret ever since she was born. So that if you do go to prison, I have something to show her, so she can see for herself how much you love her."

As tears welled in her eyes yet again, Kate felt like she'd never felt such affection for these two men as she did right now.

"Really?" she asked, her voice hoarse.

Sawyer looked a little embarrassed. "I told you I wouldn't let her hate you," he replied.

Putting the baby down, Kate released a sob before rushing into Sawyer arms. After a few long moments, she released him and hugged Hurley.

"How come I never noticed?" she asked, not understanding how she could have been being filmed for a whole year without knowing it.

"Dude, when you're with Peanut, you don't seem to see anything but Peanut," Hurley explained as though it was obvious. Which it was, now that she thought of it.

"By the way, that was really great with the bear in her room before," Sawyer added.

Kate laughed, a little embarrassed that she'd been being watched the whole time, but glad for it nonetheless.

"Keep the camera out, Hurley, it's time for cake," Sawyer announced.

"Don't you think it's a weird time for cake?" questioned Kate. "It's four thirty in the afternoon."

"It's not weird. I thought we'd cut the cake at the exact minute she was born," he explained. "And we've only got twelve minutes to get the candles on it and lit, so we have to move." Without waiting for a response (or perhaps to avoid an argument), he moved purposefully into the kitchen, Hurley following with the camera. Kate sighed, picked up the baby and went after them.

"Do you want some cake, Peanut?" she asked, already knowing what the answer would be.

"No."

After Hurley had left and the baby had gone to sleep, Kate and Sawyer began cleaning up the living room. They were mostly silent, until Kate brought up a topic that had been bothering her for awhile.

"Do you ever think about Juliet? I mean, before today?" she asked Sawyer.

"What do you mean?" he replied.

Kate shrugged, struggling to put her thoughts into words. "It's just, she wanted this so bad. She's seen so many pregnant women die, and she wanted a miracle. And she got it, but she's not here to see it. I keep thinking she should have been here today."

"Yeah," agreed Sawyer wistfully. He thought back to when they'd assumed Kate would die, how hopeless everything had seemed. She was right; Juliet deserved to know that her wish had come true.

"Do you think there's a chance she's still alive?" Kate asked.

Sawyer thought back to Jack's comment a year ago. He'd seemed so sure she was alive. Apparently, he still was. Was he crazy? Or was he just hanging onto what little thread of hope he had left?

"I hope she is," he finally responded.

"I want her to know about Peanut. I wish she could see her," Kate mused.

"Well, you know how much information they had on us. Maybe she does know," Sawyer said, deciding there was no harm in a little optimism.

"Yeah," Kate agreed.

Neither of them really believed it. Silence swept over them again.

Later, as they lay waiting for sleep to claim them, Kate voiced her thoughts into the darkness.

"Only a week to go," she whispered. Sawyer pulled her against him, spooning her. She was grateful for the contact, yet at the same time was relieved that her back was to him so he couldn't see her face.

"How are we going to survive this?" she asked, terrified. Sawyer's grip on her tightened, and she felt his lips press a kiss into the back of her neck.

"One day at a time," he murmured. Kate nodded, trying to gather herself together. One day at a time. She could do that.

tbc.