She woke up early the next morning from the restless sleep she had all night. The house was silent and still dark as she made her way down the stairs. She figured everyone was still asleep since it was only four in the morning. After making a cup of coffee, she took a seat by the window watching the rain fall down from the porch. She had missed the rain. She had missed the city and all those who lived there. There had been many times over the last five years that she had wanted to pack up and come home, but something held her back. But she wasn't sure what. Every time she thought of the city or of the hospital, she remembered the happy memories, but they were clouded with those that weren't. She remembered the feeling that she had as her mother's blood sprayed out all over her. She remembered the heartbreak when she saw Ava hanging off of Alex's neck. She remembered the burn of her father slapping her across the face. She remembered the tears that she cried over every heartbreak.

She looked up at him smiling with her arms locked around his neck. The basement was dark, quiet, and empty. He leaned down and kissed her lightly.

"I love you." She said lying her head down on his shoulder.

"I love you too."

"Meredith?" Richard's voice came pulling her from her thoughts. He clicked on the light and looked at her. "What are you doing up?"

"I could ask you the same thing." She said turning towards the table. He raised an eye brow. "Couldn't sleep."

"Does that have something to do with O'Malley and yesterday's conversation with him?"
She nodded. "I guess so."

He looked at her. "Want to talk about it?"

"What do I do, Dad? I'm so… I don't know what to do." She laid her head down on the table.

"I can't tell you what to do. You have to do this for yourself and Owen and Madi."

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She stood in front of the house. She had lived in that house twice in her life time and each time she left it broken hearted.

It looked the same as it had five years before. Her eyes swept the street before settling back on the house. Richard said that they were all at work and she held the key in her hand. But what should she do now? Slowly she walked up the driveway and up the pathway to the house. Each wooden step made a short creaking noise as she climbed them. She looked through the windows at the living room. It looked the same as it had all those years ago. She held the key out in her hand and stared at it unsure what she should do. Putting the key in the lock, she stared at it before pulling it back out. Turning slowly, she walked down the porch and back to her car.

She couldn't do it. It was too hard. It was too hard to walk into the house and remember what she left. It was too heard to be reminded of the memories that took place in that house.

She stopped when she got to the street and turned to look back at the house. So much had taken place in that house and she had just turned her back on all of it. She had turned her back on her friends and on the man she loved, and she wasn't exactly sure why.

Getting in her car, she turned the key and head off down the road.

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"Mama!" The twins screamed as she walked in the door.

"Hey guys." She smiled as she crouched down engulfing them in her arms.

"Where'd you go?" Owen asked.

"I went to go see what had changed."

"How'd it go, Mer?" Richard asked standing in the doorway. She shrugged.

"I didn't go it. I couldn't do it."

He nodded. "I need to go to the hospital." She nodded as he walked to the door. "Want to go? See what's changed? Sign your contract?"

She looked down at the kids and shook her head. "Not today. I'm not ready."

"Okay." He kissed her forehead. "I'll see you guys later." He said kissing his grandchildren's cheeks.

"Bye Grandpa." They said at the same time.

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She sat in her room staring at the box, but making no move to open it. Dust lined the top of it. The corners were tattered and smashed in. With the twins down for their nap and the house silent, she should be doing something more helpful like search for a place to live. Yet she sat there and stared at the box as if it held the cure for cancer. She pulled it closer to her wiping the dust off the top of it making a puff of dust float up. Sitting back, she looked at it for another second before pulling the top off and setting it down beside it. Hunching over it, she looked down into the box as tears formed in her eyes. Pictures, letters, and memories for her past were held in that box. Pictures of him, of her family, of her childhood, of her old life were scattered haphazardly through the box, stuck in the pages of her childhood diary, and intertwined with memories she tried so hard to forget. A picture of the five of them looked up at her. They were sitting in the living room of her mother's old house laughing, talking, and sharing stories of their day. She was cuddled into his chest with her feet behind her on the couch. He was playing with her hair without even thinking about it. Christina was sitting in the chair with her legs hanging over the arm. Izzie was sprawled out on the other couch, and George was sitting on the floor. They were all laughing when Richard snapped the picture. They looked so happy only two months before she left town.

Pushing herself past the picture, she noticed the sparkle of silver. She pulled the necklace out running her finger along the heart shaped diamond pendent. He had given it to her for her birthday six months after they started dating. She wore it all the time whenever she could. Yet, five years ago it went into a box and it hadn't seen the light of day since.

Warm tears burned her skin as if they were boiling hot. Sniffling, she wiped her face as she lifted herself off the bed and walked to her purse. Withdrawing the picture of Alex, she walked back to the bed tracing his face with her finger. She kissed it softly and threw it into the box along with all the other memories. As tears became more plentiful, she shut the box and slid it under the bed before collapsing onto the bed.