Disclaimer: Yo quero Taco Bell….

Don't Jump To Conclusions!

The thing is, a war between best friends is never a good thing. Especially when the war is over money, and consists in throwing hand-made figurative grenades at people who know nothing about it. In other words, torturing poor, hormonal teenagers for cash.

Ayame had taken to stalking Kyo, not too long after the argument. He would follow him home from school in taxi-cabs, and hide under his bed, riffling through his things after the cat had fallen asleep. He was searching for some evidence, something that would make Tohru turn against the red-haired fiend and fall (figuratively, once more) into the arms of his dearest brother Yuki.

The most exciting things he found was a half eaten bowl of rice, and a pair of pale pink underwear under Kyo's bed. Aya set the rice under Kyo's pillow, and pocketed the underwear. He sighed disappointed with the lack of secrets and porn contained within the adolescent's room. Seriously, what teenage boy didn't have porn?

"Oh dear," Whispered the silver haired man to himself, shaking his head, and contemplating Kyo's sleeping frame with a small frown. "It seems I shall have to create some misshapen rumor for this poor adolescent, as to aid my dearest baby brother in the ongoing war of love. And buy him some porn. Where on earth has this poor, forgotten child's porn gone?"

Kyo stirred slightly, giving a small groan in his sleep, and groggily blinked his eyes open. Rubbing them furiously until his blurred vision cleared, he came face to face with Aya, who had frozen, half-way out of Kyo's window, a pair of pink underwear hanging out of one of his pockets.

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

LINEBREAK FOR DRAMATIC EFFECT

"Ahhh-ahh-ah.." Began Ayame, trying very hard to think of some elaborate lie to explain his predicament. None came to mind. And now Yuki, Tohru, and Shigure were standing at the door, blinking groggily.

"Aya?" Groaned Shigure, "What are you doing in Kyo-kun's room? My room is two doors down…"

Yuki promptly covered Tohru's ears, while he himself turned a very violent shade of red. "Nii-san? What are you doing here in the middle of the night?"

"Um…" He desperately searched his mind for something to say, but nothing came to mind. How the hell was he going to explain himself, hanging half-way out of Kyo's window?

"Uh… KYO WAS SPEAKING IN HIS SLEEP OF SEXUAL ENCOUNTERS WITH MY DEAREST BROTHER." He cried.

The pink underwear fluttered to the floor.

There was a very awkward silence for a few moments. Then both Kyo and Yuki's face turned the same shade of scarlet.

"WHAT THE HELL? I WAS NOT!" Screamed Kyo indignantly, trying to untangle himself from his sheets furiously. However, as he tried to stand, they sheets wrapped their death defying grip around him tighter, and he fell, flat on his face.

Yuki spoke from the doorframe, voice dripping with venom. "That is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard, you perverted cat. Don't ever speak to me again, you scumbag." And with that final, less-than-terrifying speech, the rat went back to bed just as Aya fell out of the window, and Kyo screamed,

"I NEVER DREAMED OF ANTYHING LIKE THAT, GODDAMMIT!"

"I-I think I'll go back to bed now." Tohru practically whispered, stumbling away from the doorframe in a daze.

"WAIT-TOHRU-I DON'T THINK OF YUKI LIKE THAT!" Kyo's cries followed her back to her room.

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The following is the summary of Tohru, Kyo, and Yuki's conversations of the following day.

Breakfast: Awkward silence

School: Awkward silence

Walking Home From School: Awkward silence

Arriving Home From School: Awkward silence

Dinner: Awkward silence

Finally, after dinner, Yuki found the courage to break the extraordinarily awkward silence and invite Tohru to his secret base for some last minute gardening. Glad that someone was talking, Tohru gladly accepted.

"Oh, but… What about Kyo-kun?" She questioned innocently.

The rat cringed at the cat's very name, and turned his head to glare at Kyo's back. "Leave him alone. He's probably too occupied with his fantasies about me to care."

Kyo tensed. "Go fuck yourself." He spat over his shoulder.

"No thank you, apparently, you'd rather do it."

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Shigure was muy pissed offo. Aya had overstepped the rule of overstepping the rules. How the hell was he supposed to get Kyo and Tohru together if Tohru thought Kyo was gay?

"Dammit, Aya…" Grumbled the dog into his hand, brown eyes narrowed as he thought his hardest to come up with a plan. He stood, pacing very intently for a few moments, before he saw Tohru and Yuki walking off alone together.

Wait.

"AHA!" Cried the novelist, striking a heroic pose, "EUREKA, and the like! I've got it!"

So he had.

A/N: Maybe I'm getting a bit carried away… but sneaking into Kyo's room seemed like something Ayame would do. Oh, and by the way, Kyo's underwear was only pink because Tohru accidentally washed it with a load of red laundry. He refused to wear it, which would be why it ended up under his bed.