Disclaimer: I'm not dead yet! I feel happy! I feel happy! … I don't own Fruits Basket.

A/N: This chapter will be rather short, and possibly scattered. I wrote it while watching House M.D…

Mayhem, Mishap, and Other M Words

Monday morning. Yuki groaned and rolled over onto his side, scrunching his eyes shut as he tried to drown out the alarm clock buzzing on the nightstand opposite him. When it didn't stop, he grabbed the pillow lying next to him, covering his ears. Yuki Sohma really was not a morning person. And, granted, he could sleep through just about anything.

"YUUUUUUUUUUUKIII!"

Except maybe that.

There was a crashing noise as the poor boy's door was slammed open, and moments later he felt himself being shaken out of bed by a Shigure that was a shade more than enthusiastic.

"Mmnnnfffsssssgure…" Groaned Yuki, eyes fluttering open groggily. As he stared up at Shigure, who was still enthusiastically shaking him, he noticed that something was different this morning. He wasn't quite awake enough to figure out what yet, but something was different. "I'm awake, I'm awake!" assured Yuki after a few moments of being practically attacked by an overenthusiastic black-haired male.

"May I ask what has you so cheerful?" Questioned the rat as he nimbly reached around the man hindering his path, and flicked off his alarm clock.

Shigure just smiled coyly. "It's time for Yuki the Pervert to get ready for schoooool!" he sang, before turning tail, and skipping out of the room.

Yuki was too tired to argue. He gave another groan and sat up, rubbing his eyes. Again, something felt… Different. Not right. He frowned slightly, and stood, walking in an almost robotic fashion to the bathroom, flicking on the light and shutting the door behind him. He turned on the water and grabbed his blue toothbrush out of the cup near the sink, glancing in the mirror as he brushed his teeth.

His scream woke up an elderly couple half-way across town.

LINEBREAK

"SHIIIIIIIIIGUUUUUUUUUUUUUUREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Shigure glanced up from the book he was reading at the table. "Oh dear, he doesn't sound happy, does he?"

Tohru was wiping up the tea she has spilt all over herself and Kyo at the sound of Yuki's scream. "Shigure-san," She questioned, cocking her head to one side, and dabbing absent-mindedly at Kyo's chest with a cloth, "Why…"

Her question was cut off by the appearance of Yuki at the foot of the stairs. At the sight of him, three different things happened simultaneously: Shigure burst into a loud, unceasing bout of laughter, Tohru gave a sharp gasp, and nearly fainted, and Kyo spit the tea he had just started to drink all over himself and Tohru.

"Y-Yuki-" Spluttered Tohru, spitting out words and tea, "You- I mean – What – Your hair!"

Fists clenched in fury, the rat simply clenched his teeth and stared determinedly at the ground. His hair had been cut – rather badly – by "someone" in the middle of the night. The sides were hacked off unevenly so that one side hung above his ears, while the other dangled just below his earlobes. His bangs seemed to have disappeared completely, for the most part, except for the occasional mismatched wisp that hung into his eyes. The back was an entirely different story. Some chunks were long, and seemingly untouched, while others stuck out because they were so short. This might have looked okay, if it had been done in an orderly fashion, like layers. Instead, it was done completely randomly, making it look as if Yuki had just gone through a whirlwind of razor blades.

"I'm… Leaving. Now." Yuki half mumbled, staring up at them through the mess that used to be his hair. He bowed his head, and practically ran out the door, face and neck burning and deep shade of scarlet.

There was a few moments of shocked silence, interrupted only by Shigure's choking laughter.

Then, finally, Tohru spoke. "Oh! Kyo-kun! You have tea all over your school uniform!" Her voice held its usual note of panic, and she frantically grabbed the cloth, dabbing at his chest, one hand gripping his shoulder as she worked.

"Tohru…" Kyo tried to get her attention feebly. "Tohru… Tohru!" His voice became stronger, and he gently lifted her chin so that her eyes met his.

Shigure chose this moment to conveniently move his laughter somewhere else.

"Yes, Kyo-kun?" Tohru asked very quietly, her breath catching in her throat, their noses almost touching.

Kyo looked away. "I'm fine. Go upstairs and change. We're going to be late."

"Oh… Yes Kyo-kun!" Tohru stood quickly, bowing, and dashed up the stairs, leaving Kyo alone with the snickers of Shigure coming from the other room. Kyo stood to his feet very suddenly, legs carrying him with a certain swiftness into the kitchen.

"Why the hell would you cut Yuki's hair?"

Shigure stopped laughing, and looked up from the table, his expression slightly stricken. "What are you talking about?" He asked, face trying to portray an innocence that not even Tohru would have believed.

"And why was Ayame in my room the other night? What the hell is going on, Shigure?"

"Eh heh heh… Nothing's going on Kyo. Go back to your simple little life, fawn over Tohru, and kick Yuki's ass."

Kyo frowned very deeply, fists clenching and unclenching tentatively at his sides. "Whaddya mean fawn over Tohru? I don't fawn over anyone!"

Shigure answered with a mischievous grin on his face, happy to have the subject changed. He stood from the table, and meandered over to the fridge, pulling the orange juice out of it rather gleefully. "Don't lie to me Kyo-Kyo… You looooooooove Tohru."

"I… Do not!" Answered the fiery haired teenager defensively, but his eyes told a different story.

"Kyo looooooooves Tohru!" Chanted the dog, skipping around the kitchen, open orange juice carton spilling orange liquid all over the kitchen floor, "Kyo loooooooves Tohru! Oh come on," he paused for a few moments, standing a few feet in front of the cat and taking a swig out of the carton, "Just tell her."

"I don't! And besides, even if I did, what would I say? Tohru I looooeeevvvinnng…." His voice trailed away, changing gears very suddenly, for he had turned to see Tohru standing in the doorway.