Authoress note: this is going to be a long one.. i worked all day on it so its a respectable length. No one gave me name ideas, so im just going to name them brought this on your own heads. Happy belated Halloween!

Chapter Four

Sue's Not in Kansas any more

or

Orientation

Mo chuckled lightly as Snape shuddered and gathered up her bags from where they had fallen, eager to go to a place she had thought was fiction.

She considered leaving a note for her roommates anyway just to freak them out but decided against it, she didn't want get into trouble the first day she met apparently nonfictional characters from her favorite series. This caused her some concern, what else was real that was considered fantasy? Bigfoot? Lockness? Aliens? Apparently Mermaids were real, they were in the books. Unless Rowling lied about that too. Mo's head started to hurt, these type of thoughts kept looping like a broken record in her was rather unpleasant. She looked at Hermione, or Herms as Mo had dubbed her in the crazier recesses of her mind. Hermione was a Women With Answers.

"Hermione? I have a few more questions!" Mo said the last a little loudly, Hermione was gazing at Snape with a thoughtful expression and didn't respond when her name was called.

Hermione jumped and looked at Mo with an annoyed look and was about to answer when Snape beat her to it. "You can wait until orientation, like all the others. We haven't got time. There are a few others we need to pick up. So we are dropping you off at Hogwarts." He took one of her bags from her and glared at Harry to do the same who scurried over to grasp one in each hand. For packing everything the girl owned she didn't have much luggage, only one large duffel and two smaller suit cases.

Mo looked panicked and tried to pull her luggage away from Snape. " Your going to ditch me in a place I've never been to? Just drop me off and leave? I'll get lost!!" She wailed a little hysterically still tugging on her luggage. Snape had a firm grip on the bag and was not letting go. "We are going to leave you with the Orientation witch! How dare you insinuate that we would be so irresponsible, you stupid girl!" With a final yank Mo's bag was wrenched from her hands . Snape held out his arm for Mo. "Hold on tight, its a little difficult your first time." Mo latched onto Snapes arm and gave him a chastised grin. "Sorry Professor. Hehee Professor, that's fun. I should have known better." Mo gave Snapes arm a little hug , Snape sniffed in response. Snape looked at Hermione and Harry. "Shall we?" He asked coldly,after they nodded there was three loud pops and the kitchen was empty.

Later when Mo's roommates got home they wondered about the tray, pitcher, glasses and condiments that were left out in the living room and the three jugs of iced tea in the fridge. Their conclusion was that a very strange criminal broke in.

~;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;APPERATIONWOOOOOOOTAPPERATIONWOOOOOOOOOTAPPERATIONWOOOOOOOOTAPPERATIONBITCHESWOOOT;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:~

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was exactly what you would expect, it was a castle, it was old and it was made of stone. Mo was impressed but also relieved that at least the school was what she thought it was going to be. Harry Hermione and Snape led Mo into the castle and to the Great Hall where it already had a few people gathered in small groups. Harry hung back, trying to not get noticed. He fled when a few girls squealed and started in his direction taking Mo's Luggage with him. "HEY THATS MAH STUFF HARRY!" Mo started to chase him and stopped when he called over his shoulder "I'll take it to your room!" Mo looked a little confused but shrugged and giggled when Snapes glare stopped the girls from continuing their chase of Harry.

The Great Hall was decorated in the Hogwarts colors with a big banner hanging in midair, fluttering even though there was no breeze, it said 'Welcome New Students!' in silvery letters. Mo was still admiring the decorations when Snape cleared his throat,she looked up at him with a quizzical look. "I'll have the House Elfs take this to your room." He said lifting the bag slightly to indicate it. " I'll see you in class." Snape said after Mo had nodded. Mo looked excited. "I get to be in your class!!? Thats so Awesome! with a capital' A' man! ee!" She lunged at Snape to give him a hug but stumbled slightly when Snape side stepped out of the way. Mo looked miffed but shrugged it off, she liked Snape grumpy. "Yes, will give you your schedule. Good day." With that he walked away ignoring Mo's little goodbye wave.

Mo looked for Hermione who was standing near by with a smug look about her. "Proud of yourself, are you?" Mo asked sliding up beside Hermione. Hermione gave her A Look but nodded."Yes, it took a while but my plans have finally come to fruition." Mo waited for the evil laugh that usually accompanied a sentence that had plans and fruition in it at the same time. It didn't come. So she smiled and said."Good for you Herms!" and patted Hermione on the back. Hermione was about to question Mo about the nickname but decided to drop it. She was too happy to be annoyed, Her plans were so successful that it had taken less then three months to get to this point, and the fact that she had to work with the Ministry it taking such a short amount of time was miraculous.

Mo interrupted her thoughts by asking. " When do I get a wand!?" Hermione smiled and patted her shoulder. " After orientation we are taking all of you to Diagon Ally. Isn't that exciting?" Hermione asked a little condescendingly. Mo ignored the tone and nodded happily bouncing, it was exciting, she felt she was going to explode with joy at the very thought of going to Diagon Ally, she hoped orientation wasn't too long. She had trouble sitting still for long periods of time even when she wasn't excited.

"EVERY ONE TO YOUR SEATS PLEASE ORIENTATION WILL BEGUINE SHORTLY!" said a magically amplified female voice. Hermione jumped remembering she was to pick up three more Late Bloomers before Orientation was supposed to start. She bid Mo a hasty goodbye and was off to join Snape and Harry outside.

Mo looked little forlorn standing by herself, she looked around for a table and decided to sit in the back so she could see when Hermione and the new people came back. it was also a quick exit in case she needed a smoke before orientation. Speaking of a smoke. Mo got up and meandered out side just in time for Snape to give her a startled look before apperation took him away. Mo grinned to her self and pulled out a cigarette,lit it and took a long drag, her eyes rolling back in pleasure as she exhaled.

" Oh yeah, that's the good stuff baby." She took her time smoking and enjoined it like a Concierge enjoys fine wine. There were only a few things in life Mo did with much enthusiasm, one of them was reading Terry Pratchett novels, another was reading Fanfiction, the hobby she enjoyed the most though was smoking her cigarettes. Nothing made her happier then waking up in the morning and the first thing she saw was her pack sitting on her bed side table with a lighter next to it.

She liked to say it made the world a brighter place,made the beds softer and rose the moon every night. The only thing she did religiously was smoke.

She was still smoking when Hermione arrived with her entorage plus a frightend looking man with dirty blond hair and tanned skin in his mid twenties. She rose an eyebrow when the new guy started shaking Harry and yelling. " I never even read the books! Or saw the movies! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING!? IM A GOOD CHRISTIAN!"

Snape grabbed him and shoved him in Mos direction pointing a finger at her when the man fell to his knees. " Explain to him and take him inside. And put that filthy thing out!" After Snape snapped that out he and the other two disappeared again.

Mo took another puff and glared at the spot Snape had occupied and made her way over to the trebling man and helped him up. "Up you get new friend, my name's Mo, whats yours?" She asked dusting him off. He whimpered softy and muttered in a wobbly voice. " Ted Shelters, and and Imma....Imma goooood boy." He sniffled at Mo who looked sympathetic. "Yeah I heard about that." She nodded and quickly told him as much as she knew and that orientation was going to start soon to fill in the rest.

Ted stared vacantly and shook his head when Mo offerd him a cigarette. Mo was insulted, she never shared her smokes. She gave him a dirty look he didn't see and lit a fresh Cigarette with the stump of the old one. "So TeddyBear where you from? wheres your hood hooomie." she attempted a gang sign inadvertently making the American Sigh language sign for 'I understand for three dollars'. Ted gave her a frightened look and said "Nebraska...My parents are farmers." Mo nodded knowingly "Ah yes, Corn. I love corn." Mo said smoothly and gave him a grin. Ted nodded and watched her blow smoke rings for a minute. He decided to try a favorite opening line for when he met new people. " So, would you like to hear some good news about your immortal soul?"

Two things happened instantly after Ted had spoken, the first was Mo deciding she was going to avoid Ted like the plague from now on. The second was Hermione Harry and Snape popped back into existence with another person effectively scaring the living day lights out of both Ted and Mo. Mo held her cigarette behind her back and said sweetly. " Ted has calmed down a bit now." Ted looked at Snape a little sullenly but nodded.

Snape decided to ignore them and the smoke slowly rising from behind Mo. He jerked a thumb in the direction of Mo and Ted and spoke to the new arrival. "They will show you to the Great Hall." Harry waved bye to the tall dark haired olive skinned male they brought with them and the three popped once again out of existence.

" Hiya! I'm Mo, this is Ted he is after your soul." Mo said happily then waved and resumed smoking. "Whats your name new friend?" Mo asked the new comer.

"Bond, Neil Bond. whats up?" Neil held out a hand to Mo who shook it then to Ted who did the same. Mo giggled "Is that how you always introduce your self?"

Neil nodded and blushed a little. "Cant help it with my last name...Its almost mandatory." Ted nodded in agreement then said reproachfully. " Im not really after your soul you know...I was just trying to tell her the good news about Jesus." Mo rolled her eyes and pantomimed shooting herself in the head behind Teds back and smiled at him when he turned around.

" Anyway guys, I'll show you the Great Hall just as soon as I finish this." she said indicating her Cigarette. Neil nodded and popped a piece of gum in his mouth and said. "I quit a year ago. Best thing I ever did, I was able to save up for a car with all the money I saved." Mo nodded, she was didn't mind quitters, more cigarettes for her. " Good for you, guy. What kind of car did y--." Mo was interrupted by Ted who whined. "I thought you said orientation was gonna start soon?"

Ted did not enjoy being ignored, especially not by heathens. Mo glared at him for a second. " Yeah when they bring the last person, I said that...weren't you listening? I could have imparted life or death information Teddy." Ted paled and whimpered. "D-did you?!" Mo shook her head smiling evilly. " Grow a pair dude. Seriously." This came from Neil who was really starting to dislike Ted.

Neil looked over at the three loud Pops behind him. Between then Harry and Snape were supporting a plump girl who had apparently fainted. They walked over to Ted Neil and Mo. Mo quickly put out her Cigarette and pocketed the rest of it. She firmly believed in 'waste not want not'. "How'd you do that?" Mo asked pointing at the girl

"Three fictional characters appeared in her living room unannounced." Said Harry with a glare towards Hermione. " We didn't have time to knock! The Orientation is going to start soon!" Hermione wailed a little frantically.

Ted looked at Mo smugly. Mo ignored him pointedly. "Is she the last one?" Mo asked. Hermione nodded and hurried them up the stairs through the front door and to the Great Hall by the time they got there Mo Neil and Ted were feeling harassed. Mo pushed Ted out of shier vexation and scurried away to the back table before he could get back at her. Neil sat next to her and Ted next to him.

Hermione made her way up to the teachers podium and started talking quietly to who Mo assumed was . Snape and Harry deposited the unconscious girl on the floor in a far corner and left her there shaking their made their way up to the teachers podium and stood near Hermione.

stood behind the podium and looked at the assembly waiting for people to settle down so she could begin. Hermione wasn't as patient and pointed her wand to her throat and her magically amplified voice said. "QUITE DOWN EVERY ONE, WE ARE ABOUT TO BEGIN." thanked Hermione and addressed the now attentive assembly.

"As you know this is Hogwarts School of Witch and Wizardry. And as you my have noticed things are not as they are in the books. I'm here today to explain the differences and answer any questions you might have." The women smiled at the nodding heads before her. "Firstly I'm going to explain how the books came out in the first place.
J.K. Rowling is a squib and the daughter of a low ranking ministry official, she lived in muggle London living a muggle life all the while hearing news about the Wizarding world from her family. She decided, after Harry Potter's second year, to start writing a 'children's book'. She did very well obviously. But she made a few things different from what really happened." paused for a moment and looked at the rapted faces before her. She solemnly continued.

" The first being the animosity between Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy. Mr. Potter was indeed the youngest player in Hogwarts for quiet a while but that was because no other first years where good enough to make the team, Mr. Potter took to a broom like fish to water. and were indifferent to each other until started Quiddich in second year, then they were friendly rivles. was part of the effort against Voldemort as was his father, although while the younger Malfoy stood beside facing Voldemort, Malfoy senior was a spy. No one knew except Dumbledore, who wanted to keep it secret until the war was over."

smiled indulgently at the confused and outraged faces before her."No one, except Madam Rowling, knows why she decided to demonize the Malfoys,but we do know that her accusations are unfounded. Secondly is the relationship between Professor Snape and . While it was a little rocky, they had over come their differences by Fifth year. We are not sure how Rowling knew about the pensive incident but that was true and what happened in it was also." At this Snape snorted

and Harry blushed at Snapes discomfort.

continued. "Oh, and Sirius Black is still alive, the battle at the Ministry did happen, but Black did not fall through the Vail. He is alive and well and was cleared for murder after Voldemort was defeated and the truth about Wormtail was believed. Remus Lupin and Tonks did not get married nor did they die in the Hogwarts Battle. Rowling lied. Obviously Professor Snape didn't die either." She added as an after thought to the amusement of everyone in the Great Hall.

Mo was rather scandalized but very pleased. She liked the Malfoys in the books, she had a thing for villains. Sirius and Lupin, as far as she was concerned, were somewhere having rabid dog sex as she sat there. She grinned to herself, she had liked that fanfiction.

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Ok fith chapter is coming soon.