When she got to the hospital, Madi was awake but groggy. She was talking to George making small, tired hand gestures mumbling short choppy statements. When the door opened, they both looked over. George pulled himself to his feet and smiled.
"Hey, Baby." Meredith smiled and kissed Madi's head.
"Hi, Mommy." She held a wavering, tired smile. "I missed you."
"I missed you too. How do you feel?"
"Sleepy."
"Get some sleep, Sweetheart."
"Where's Owie?" Owie was what Madi called Owen whenever she was sleepy. It had become a habit that Meredith always found adorable.
"He's with Grandpa. Get some sleep, Baby." She said softly.
"Okay, Mommy. I love you."
"I love you too."
Meredith watched until her daughter's eyes fluttered shut before sighing and looking up at George. "Thank you, George."
"No problem, Mer."
She waved for him to follow her out of the room. They found and abandoned exam room. He hopped up on the table while she sat down in the rolling stool. Silence lingered for awhile before George decided to break it.
"What have you been up to?"
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I went to see him."
The news had taken him by surprise. This was Meredith Grey after all. She avoided everything until she was forced to face it. For her to go and face her past head on was shocking to say the least.
"And…?" He cautiously coached.
"And..." She sighed without removing her eyes from the tiled floor. "He yelled a little, but I didn't expect anything less, I guess."
He stared at her for awhile before nodding. "Small steps."
She continued to stare where she had been. "Small steps." She repeated. When she finally looked up, he could see the tears that lined her eyes. He could see all the pain and sadness she held behind those tears. "I really love him, George. I don't know how to stop."
Slowly, he nodded. "Give him time to adjust. He loves you."
--
She didn't come back. He restlessly slept listening carefully for a knock at the door. But it never came. He lied awake for hours at a time just listening while he silently pondered what had gone on. Doubt, fear, sadness, and confusion overwhelmed him. Should he not have yelled? Should he have let her explain? Where would they be if she hadn't left? He envisioned them married, maybe with kids. They would have been happy spending the rest of their lives together. But that all seemed like an impossible dream that he would never reach. But he didn't want that anymore, right? He couldn't love her. She broke his heart. Then why did he feel this way? How come when he saw her waiting on the porch did he have the urge just to kiss her? When he first saw her at the hospital, why did he just want to take her in his arms?
He tried to push his thoughts to the back of his head, but it seemed impossible. He'd be tired in the morning.
--
The next morning, she woke up in the rock-hard chair. Madi was still asleep because of the pain meds. She kissed her daughter's cheek and pulled herself to her feet. She wasn't sure when Richard would be in, so she headed down to the cafeteria for some coffee. After telling a nurse to keep an eye on her, she walked to the elevator. When the doors opened, she was met with Derek's and Mark's gazes. She just gave them a nod not having the effort to talk. Derek had another idea.
"Good Morning, Meredith. How was your night?"
"I really… don't want to talk about it." She sighed.
"Oh, what happened?"
"My daughter just came through surgery. What do you expect? I'm in Seattle for God's sake." She snapped before sighing again. "Sorry, Dr. Shepherd. I'm not in a good mood today."
"It's alright." He said with an almost cheesy smile that used to make her melt. Now it just reminded her of past betrayal. When she started her internship and he was chasing her, that smile was all she needed to feel happy. But now, it was so… cheesy. Alex's smile was always had a different effect of her. When ever she saw him smile, she just wanted to be in his arms or lying next to his warm body. It seemed like so long ago, before all these secrets and broken hearts, that it seemed to be so easy to take advantage of. But after last night, she wanted to be in his arms. She wanted him to tell her it'd be alright. She wanted him to kiss their son's and daughter's cheeks with a proud fatherly smile. She wanted him to teach Owen how to play catch and fight off any of Madi's future boyfriends. She wanted him to know his children and love them. She wanted him to love her again.