That evening, Richard and Owen came in to watch Madi while Meredith took a break from it all. She was planning on taking a ride on the ferry and getting some new clothes from Richard's place. But somehow she ended up sitting on the porch again waiting for his return from work. Rain was falling from the dark clouds that blocked the moon's light making the night seem even darker. The air was cold and damp, but it didn't bother her. Using her feet, she made the swing sway gently as she watched down the street for a pair of headlights. A few cars past but none turned into the driveway.

After about an hour of waiting, she began to wonder if he'd be coming home. He wasn't on call, but with all the time that had past for all she knew, he could have another place somewhere. In her mind she went over all the possibilities of how the night could end. Most of which terrified her. But she knew she had to do this sooner or later, and putting it off didn't seem like much of an option.

Finally, at nine-thirty a car pulled into the driveway. She watched as he turned the car off and opened the door. She didn't make an attempt to let him know she was there. Mostly because she wasn't sure if she could find her voice yet. He wordlessly walked up the yard to the stairs and glanced over at her.

"What are you going here?" He asked.

"I promised I'd be back."

He couldn't help but smile at her giving her a small nod as she stood up and waited for him to open the door. Pushing the door open, he stepped in dropping his things off to the side. Meredith followed quietly shutting the door behind them. He took a seat down on the couch as she sat down in one of the chairs. Staring at her expectantly, he shifted around in the seat trying to get comfortable. Neither said anything. How could they? They were at a lost to what they were supposed to say.

"Alex, I…" She sighed searching for words. "This isn't how I wanted this all to happen."

"What did you expect would happen when you up and left for five years?" He asked softly as he looked away.

Pinching the bridge of her nose, she hoped the stress would disappear. "I don't know. I didn't want any of this to happen." She said with a shaky voice.

"You made a choice, Meredith."

"I know."

"What the hell did I do?" He asked looking at her through hurt eyes. "I thought we were both happy."

Her eyes shut. She didn't want to see him so hurt. It killed her to know she had done it to him. "We were."

"Then why?" He snapped.

"I don't know, okay? I just… My mother died. And I couldn't save her. Her blood was on my hands. I killed her!" She sobbed. "Then you… And Ava came. And I was so overwhelmed. I didn't know what to do or what to think. And… and… I don't know!" She rambled. "Everything was happening so fast. You were there. Ava was there. Mom was dead. I couldn't handle it!"

Silence fell between them. The light sound of the rain against the roof seemed to get louder with every passing moment. He twisted his fingers which caused his knuckles to crack every few minutes as he tried to process what she had just said. She took a deep breath willing the tears to pass which slowly they did. The sadness and shame was slowly replaced with fear as thoughts of Owen and Madi came into her head. How did she let this happen? She was supposed to be a good mother! She was supposed to protect them! Now, it might be past the point of no return. But for the sake of them she had to try. And even if he didn't love her like she still loved him, then at least she'd be giving her children a chance at a life with their father.

"Alex…" She said slowly with the calmest voice she could. He gradually turned his glance to meet hers. She could tell he was hurt and perplexed by everything, but she had to tell him. "When I left… I was pregnant." She finally said before adding, "I didn't know until I already got out there." He stared at her practically frozen in shock.