Thanks Your baby mama for the review
Chapter Eight (Random Caffeine induced late night ramblings)
Hogwarts the Musical
or
I am not a fop!
Last time:
Snape pocketed the banana with a glare and said," No more fruit in my class Miss Mosley, understood?" the girl instantly abandoned the silly grin a chastised look replacing it," Yes Sir, Professor Snape Sir." Snape nodded and returned to the front of the class began teaching the students about the ingredients and equipment that they had in front of them. Snape was gratified when the class ended and the students filed out with excited chatter about what they had learned, the one hour class is
possibly the best invention since the pestle and mortar,Snape thought as the last student left with a wave goodbye in Snapes direction, Snape waved absently and picked up the apple when the door closed and took a bite. An apple a day kept the Medi-witch away after all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~SINGSINGTHESONGOFYOURSOULITISTHEMOSTBEAUTIFULSONGOFALLITSSUNGITSSUNG~~~~~~
Amanda and Mo walked down a hallway on the ground floor with widows showing the courtyard outside discussing movies, so far they both had the same taste when it came to Action and Horror but Amanda had an unfortunate attachment to romantic movies that Mo was determined to eradicate," They all end the same!! oh oh big strong man, thank you for bringing me back to my scenes I don't know how I could have managed without you~! I'm sorry I yelled at you for cheating oh oh! It's gross." Mo argued emphatically. Amanda sighed with a dreamy look in her eyes,"Love will conquer all." she said loftily. Mo grimaced," The only romantic movie I ever liked was Sweeney Todd." Mo nodded in agreement with herself. Amanda looked thoughtful," I guess that could be considered a romance...if you squint. Oh you know the best part in that movie?" Mo grinned," The cannibalism."
Amanda gave Mo a look,"Well yes there is that, I meant the songs, they are awesome! That one right before they start cooking people, after he kills the fake Italian? Genius." Mo grinned and nodded. They walked in silence for a moment then Amanda said with a lilt in her voice,"Seems a downright shame..."
Mo answered,"Shame?"
Amanda continued,"Seems an awful waste...Such a nice, plump frame Wot's 'is name has...Had...Has! Nor it can't be traced...Bus'ness needs a lift, Debts to be erased...
Think of it as thrift, As a gift, If you get my drift..."
Mo looked confused,"No?"
Amanda sighed and sang,"Seems an awful waste...I mean, with the price of meat. What it is, When you get it, If you get it..."
Mo got it,"HAH!"
Amanda looked excited and said,"Good, you got it! Take, for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop! Bus'ness never better using only pussycats and toast!
And a pussy's good for maybe six or seven at the most! And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste!"
Mo took Amanda's hand and twirled her then they started to watlz down the hallway, much to the confusion of the other students milling about. They sang as they danced.
Mo: Amanda, what a charming notion
Amanda: Well, it does seem a waste...
Mo: Eminently practical. And yet appropriate as always!
Amanda: It's an idea...
Mo: Amanda, how I've lived Without you all these years, I'll never know! How delectable! Also undetectable!
Amanda:Think about it! Lots of other gentlemen'll Soon be comin' for a shave, Won't they? Think of All them Pies!
Mo and Amanda:
How choice! How Rare!
Mo: For what's the sound of the world out there?
Amanda: What, Ms. Mo? What, Ms. Mo? What is that sound?
Mo: Those crunching noises pervading the air!
Amanda: Yes, Ms. Mo! Yes, Ms. Mo! Yes, all around!
Mo: It's man devouring man, my dear!
Together: And [Amanda: Then] who are we to deny it in here?
Mo and Amanda slowed to a stroll and walked side by side. Mo held her hands clasped behind her back," These are desperate times, Amanda, and desperate measures are called for!" Amanda nodded. Mo gestured to Sirius Black who happened to be walking by," What is that?" Black started and looked confused. Amanda smiled and sang," It's priest. Have a little priest." Mo smirked at Black and sang,"Is it really good?" Amanda stifled a giggle then sang out,"Miss, it's too good, at least! Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh, So it's pretty fresh." Amanda and Mo kept walking leaving a thoroughly confused Black in their wake.
Mo: Awful lot of fat.
Amanda: Only where it sat.
Mo: Haven't you got poet, or something like that?
Amanda: No, y'see, the trouble with poet is 'Ow do you know it's deceased? Try the priest!
Mo: (spoken) Heavenly! Not as hearty as bishop, perhaps, but then again, not as bland as curate, either!
Amanda:(spoken) And good for business, too -- always leaves you wantin' more! Trouble is, we only get it on Sundays!
Amanda: Lawyer's rather nice.
Mo: If it's for a price.
Amanda: Order something else, though, to follow, Since no one should swallow it twice!
Mo: Anything that's lean?
Amanda: Well, then, if you're British and loyal, You might enjoy Royal Marine! Anyway, it's clean. Though of course, it tastes of wherever it's been!
Mo and Amanda started to skip down the hallway pointing at confused students and teachers as they went.
Mo: Is that squire, On the fire?
Amanda: Mercy no, sir, look closer, You'll notice it's grocer!
Mo: Looks thicker, More like vicar!
Amanda: No, it has to be grocer -- It's green!
Mo took Amanda's hand and began to waltz with her again causing many people to dive out of windows or press themselves against walls.
Mo: The history of the world, my love --
Amanda: Save a lot of graves, Do a lot of relatives favors!
Mo: Is those below serving those up above!
Amanda: Ev'rybody shaves, So there should be plenty of flavors!
Mo: How gratifying for once to know
Both: That those above will serve those down below!
They slowed to a walk then stopped to lean on a windowsill and looked out at the courtyard where they saw several people going to class or stopping in groups to chat.
Amanda saw someone fiddling with a coppery ball with tubes sticking out of it and said,"Now let's see, here... We've got tinker." Mo saw the person in question and smiled,"Something... pinker." she suggested. Amanda looked around, she saw someone picking at the hem of their sleeve,"Tailor?" Mo shook her head,"Paler."
Amanda hmmed and saw a young man taking a stack of books from a pretty little brunette,"Butler?" Mo considered the young man and found him lacking,"Subtler."
they both noticed Harry and Snape walking through the courtyard chatting amiably about something. Amanda waited until they got closer,"Potter?" Harry stopped and waived when he heard his name, Mo grinned wolfishly and said,"Hotter." Harry got a wide eyed look and scooted closer to Snape who was glaring at the girls.
Amanda ignored the Slytherin death glare and continued," Locksmith?...Lovely bit of clerk." Mo wiggled her eyebrows at Harry and Snape,"Maybe for a lark." Snape raised an eyebrow giving the two girls a suspicious look, Harry was clinging to Snapes side giving them a baffled look. Amanda pulled a straight face and said,"Then again there's sweep If you want it cheap, And you like it dark! Try the financier, Peak of his career!" Mo looked at a group of girls giggling at the intimate looking embrace of Harry and Snape,"That looks pretty rank." Amanda saw the group of girls and shook her head."Well, he drank, It's a bank Cashier. Never really sold. Maybe it was old."
Snape looked like he was ready to blow a gasket,"What in Merlin's name are you two doing?!" he barked in agitation. Mo gave him an impatient look,"Have you any Beadle?" she asked. Snape look taken aback and opened his mouth to answer but Amanda beat him to it,"Next week, so I'm told! Beadle isn't bad till you smell it and Notice 'ow well it's been greased...Stick to priest!" Snape and Harry stared at them like they had grown second heads.
Mo and Amanda started walking down the hall, Mo with her hands behind her back and Amanda with hers clasped in front,"Now then, this might be a little bit stringy,
but then of course it's... fiddle player!" Amanda said. Mo shook her head,"No, this isn't fiddle player -- it's piccolo player!" Amanda cocked her head to the side,"'Ow can you tell?"she asked. Mo smiled a knowing smile,"It's piping hot!" Amanda giggled and said,"Then blow on it first!"
Snape and Harry followed the two girls, curiosity getting the better of them. They followed in shock when the odd pair started singing and waltzing down the hall in front of them.
Mo: The history of the world, my sweet --
Amanda: Oh, Ms. Mo, Ooh, Ms. Mo, What does it tell?
Mo: Is who gets eaten, and who gets to eat!
Amanda: And, Ms. Mo, Too, Ms. Mo, Who gets to sell!
Mo: But fortunately, it's also clear
Togeather: That [Amanda: But] ev'rybody goes down well with beer!
They slowed down again and walked at a sedate pace down the hall with Snape and Harry tailing behind them. Snape glared at the back of their heads while Harry watched with a goofy grin plastered to his face. They both nodded to Black and Lupin when they caught up. Black asked," Are they still doing it?" after the affirmative he grinned and said,"Good, I wanted Moony to see. He didn't believe me." Snape snorted and said,"Oh they are still doing it, what it is exactly they are doing has yet to be seen." Lupin asked," So they are really dancing and singing?" when all three nodded he looked confused," Huh, how odd." The other three nodded grimly.
Amanda and Mo only vaguely concerned they were being followed continued without pause," Since marine doesn't appeal to you, 'ow about... rear admiral?" Amanda suggested, Mo shook her head,"Too salty. I prefer general." she stated. Amanda nodded,"With, or without his privates? "With" is extra." they both roared with laughter which caused Snape to snort derisively and mutter something about inappropriate jokes which set the other three into stifled giggles.
Draco Malfoy was walking down the hall with a haughty expression on his face and a bounce in his step, he was still brimming with pride at being part of the history making group of Hermione's and being 'assistant' Head of House. He noticed Snape, Harry, Lupin and Black all motioning emphatically at him, he cocked his head in confusion until that crazy Mosley woman pointed at him and said to the redheaded Gryffindor beside her,"What is that?" Draco froze an looked behind him when he saw nothing he looked back at the sniggering pair with confusion. The redhead confused him further by singing,"It's fop. Finest in the shop. And we have some shepherd's pie peppered With actual shepherd on top! And I've just begun -- Here's the politician, so oily It's served with a doily, Have one!" Draco seethed with rage and shouted," I AM NOT A FOP!!"
Amanda and Mo continued as if they hadn't been screamed at and smirked at Draco as they continued with out missing a beat, they started doing an odd skipping hop down the hallway as they sang.
Mo: Put it on a bun. Well, you never know if it's going to run!
Amanda: Try the friar, Fried, it's drier!
Mo: No, the clergy is really Too coarse and too mealy!
Amanda: Then actor, That's compacter!
Mo: Yes, and always arrives overdone!
Mo paused in her singing here and said in a low growling voice,"I'll come again when you have JUDGE on the menu!" Amanda grinned and said," Wait! True, we don't have judge yet, but we've got something you might fancy even better." Mo cocked her head to the side and asked," What's that?" Amanda looked excited and said,"Executioner!" Mo and Amanda started to waltz again much to the amusement of the four following them.
Draco watched them pass with the utmost confusion," What the bleeding bloody fuck is this? Hogwarts the Musical?!" The four came up beside him," Language ." Snape said without heat," We are just as confused as you are." Draco looked mollified and walked with the other four following the dancing pair in front of them.
Dezi and Miz were walking and talking about homework when they heard singing, they looked up and saw Mo and Amanda dancing toward them with five confused but amused looking men behind them walking quickly to keep up. Miz looked shocked," The fuck is going on here?" Miz asked, Dezi shook her head,"Dunno, I wonder if they got any left." Dezi muttered. Miz looked at Dezi,"Any what left?" she asked, Dezi grinned,"Shrooms, cuz they are triiiippin." They both giggled and stepped aside to let Mo and Amanda pass.
Mo and Amanda passed Miz and Dezi and beamed at them when the sisters waved then continued to sing and dance.
Mo: Have charity towards the world, my pet!
Amanda: Yes,yes, I know, my love!
Mo: We'll take the customers that we can get!
Amanda: High-born and low, my love!
Mo: We'll not discriminate great from small! No, we'll serve anyone, Meaning anyone,
Both: And to anyone at allllllllll!
Mo and Amanda spun one more time then stopped then Mo bowed to Amanda who curtsied back. The stood looking at each other with silly grins on their faces.
"That was amazing!" Mo gushed, Amanda bounced and hugged Mo,"Oh my God we are such a good team!" Mo nodded," You know what this means don't you?"
Amanda nodded," We have a great back and forth?" Mo nodded then said,"That and we watch waaaay to much Sweeney." Amanda laughed at that and they both jumped in shock when Snape snarled right behind them,"Explain this instant what you two were doing." Lupine and Black chimed in,"Yeah!" Draco glared and said," I am not a fop."
Harry just smiled and giggled,"That was really wicked you guys! how long have you been practicing?" he asked.
Dezi and Miz joined them. Dezi was annoyed," Oi, The next time you guys decide to prance through the halls I demand to be apart of it!!" Miz agreed,"Yeah!"
Amanda and Mo looked chastised and decided to answer the questions in order,"Reenacting a scene from our favorite movie.'' Amanda said to Snape, they looked at Draco and said together," Yes you are." To Harry Mo smiled and said,"Thanks and we didn't practice, it was spontaneous." To Dezi and Miz Amanda said,"Please reference the last answer...it was not planned." Miz and Dezi looked mollified if a little annoyed,"Fine." Dezi said," I love that movie...they fed people to people...it was sweeeet."
Snape and the rest looked confused and horrified,"They killed people and ate them?" Draco asked aghast.
Miz, Dezi, Mo and Amanda just laughed and walked away without answering leaving Harry to explain muggle cinema.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~RANDOMCHAPTEROFDOOMEND~~~~~~~~~~
That is what you get when you add the Sweeney sound track to lots of caffine.