Rating: Still T for no reason.
Chapter Two is dedicated to superglue and all of its many uses.
Wal-Mart Adventures
Day Two
"And, BAM! It was down with one shot from Ebony!" Dante mimicked shooting a demon down with his right hand as Vergil continued to sip his iced tea. Vergil turned the page in his newspaper, wondering why Dante was bothering to tell him this story.
"Mhm." Vergil muttered lightly, eyes on a picture of a young teen in a bikini running down a shoreline. Sure, Jasmyn was a slamming hottie, but why did she have to be so…mentally unstable?
"And then I… Hey, Verge, are you even listening?" Dante asked, stopping mid-sentence.
"Mhm." He repeated, flipping the page again without looking up at his twin. Vergil finally shot his head up when Lady entered the room and poked him in the back. "What?"
"We need you to go out for toilet paper and clothes detergent. Also, I need your help. Jasmyn super-glued her head to the floor out of pure and stupid curiosity." She said.
"Can I go to Wal-Mart with Verge and psycho-girl? Please? Please? Please?" Dante began to jump up and down in excitement. Lady rolled her eyes, walking away. Dante turned to his older brother. "Please?"
"Stop calling her psycho-girl, and you can." Vergil replied calmly, following Lady to help his girlfriend remove her head from the floor.
Looks like another long trip to Wal-Mart…. Great.
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Vergil was mainly ignoring Dante, which proved to be a very difficult task. Jasmyn had disappeared to…somewhere. Vergil wasn't quite sure where. Dante was running around, poking different children in the isle with his demonic speed.
Pokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepoke
"Hey!" The random girl yelled, glaring at Dante. Dante bolted down to the other side of the isle to begin his ritual again.
Pokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepoke
"Stop poking me!" The 10 year-old boy slapped Dante's hand away. Again, Dante ran.
Vergil sighed and continued to push his cart along. This would take a long time.
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'Ah! Finally, the glue isle.' Vergil thought, looking at the various products. If only Jasmyn hadn't had a sudden urge to see what large amounts of super glue tasted like on the floor. He walked to the end of the isle where the super glue was and heard a rustling nearby. Maneuvering his head around the corner, he saw a group of about ten of the unfortunate children Dante had assaulted with his poke attacks.
"Do you have the projectile?" One of the older girls, almost 13, asked. A sandy-haired boy held up a box, but Vergil couldn't make out the label. "Good. Now to find that annoying dude in the red coat with the white hair."
'What are they planning?' Vergil pondered, but found he couldn't care for long because it involved revenge on Dante, his favorite pastime. Grabbing a large tube of glue, he returned to his cart in the main isle.
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Vergil was in the process of walking to the isle with pudding when he heard a scream erupt not far away. Tilting his head back, his eyes widened when he saw Jasmyn…running quickly… with a white bra clung to the top of her head. He jumped out of the way when she zipped by, wailing at full volume. When his brain went out of shock and he registered what just happened, he left Dante to watch the cart as he ran after her.
"Jasmyn, what the hell are you doing?" Vergil demanded when he had her cornered in the fruit section. She looked at him stupidly before removing the article of clothing from her head.
"The banana king told me to!" She insisted, pointing at a pile of bananas. Vergil looked at her strangely, wondering if Jasmyn had created her own new type insanity. She quieted down and let Vergil walk her back to the cart.
Dante was still there, looking pissed as hell. Vergil's eyes soon caught something stuck to Dante's back. Or, rather, many things stuck to Dante's jacket.
"Er, Dante? Why do you have… tampons stuck to your back?" Vergil asked, shifting his feet awkwardly.
"Damn kids got me while I wasn't looking!" He muttered. Now it all made sense! The kids his stupid brother had annoyed threw tampons covered in super glue at Dante's back while Vergil had been returning Jasmyn to half-sanity, the largest amount she could ever muster. Dante walked away, mumbling something about swearing upon Sparda for his revenge.
Jasmyn also went away, but Vergil didn't bother to follow. In about half and hour, he would know where she was based on the screams.
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Vergil could see Dante all the way down the main isle, looking at shoes when this woman knocked into him. Vergil moved closer to see what was happening. The woman, who looked somewhat familiar, apologized quickly before attempting to hide behind Dante.
"Uh, why are there tampons on your back?" She asked, and as Vergil got closer, he recognized her as Roxy from the day before.
"Long story, lady. Why are you hiding behind me?" Dante asked turning around. Her terrified eyes pointed to a rather hungry-looking Mick. Even though Dante was quite mentally challenged at times, he soon figured out that Roxy was hiding from this Mick person. He looked back and forth between them before pushing Roxy in front of the hungry vampire, running for his life.
"Dante!" Vergil yelled, catching him by his collar. "Why aren't you helping her?"
"She's-" Dante's pants quickly turned to scared gibberish and Vergil released him, aggregated. Mick was gaining speed and closing in on Roxy. Vergil ran up and tackled Mick, Roxy staring wide-eyed. Roxy ran to the pet section, but all the hamsters were locked up based on what happened the day before.
Vergil managed to lay a few punches to Mick's face before jumping off and disappearing in the cereal isle. There, he met Jasmyn and Dante sifting through random boxes, dumping the contents all over the floor.
"Er, what are you two doing?" Vergil asked.
"We're trying to find the prizes! I want the glow-in-the-dark panda." Jasmyn plunged her fist into another box of Cheerio's, Dante eating some stray Fruit Loops on the floor.
"Come on!" Vergil pulled up Jasmyn by her free arm, leaving Dante amid the piles of Trix and Sugar O's.
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"Are you Vergil Sparda?" a rather burly man holding Dante by his collar asked.
"What did you do?" Vergil said harsly to his twin, ignoring the wounded-puppy expression on his face.
"He was eating cereal from the box." The manager, or "guy-holding-me" to Dante's brain, replied for him. "Your brother here is banned from this store. Make him leave the premises immediately."
"Fine." Vergil sighed, taking Dante by the ear and Jasmyn by the hand, pulling them out of the store. This would be something interesting to tell Lady.
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A/N
This chapter was finished at 5:06 PM we were not hyper, sooooo. Well ummmmm Dante did not survive better then Vergil….. Roxy is not that mentally challenged she hit her head really hard before the last chapter started that's why she was crazy, Micks not her boyfriend he is a crazy psycho and NO HE IS NO THE MICK FROM MOONLIGHT!! I just really like the name mick , btw hay lin rox "wrote" this I come up with the ideas and she puts them on paper except for the Vergil tackling Mick ,a nd the part in this chapter where roxy ran back to the hamsters and the part when dante got kicked out, he rest was my idea but hay lin rox wrote it