'ello Loves! As usual, sorry I suck at updating… but if you're not used to it, by now… I s'pose you will be soon. So, just one main point to cover, this author's note; I feel the end drawing nea— (…ew, Near.) nigh! I don't think Part One's gonna extend past chapter fifteen… if it even gets that far. There're really only a few more plot points to get through before we fast forward a few years. So, three, maybe four more chapters… then a bit of a break, just 'cause I'm a lazy git, then we get to the Kira arc! Woot!
Disclaimer: Don'townitdidn'tdoityoucan'tproveanything'kaybye.
.XI.
Matt lost the bet. Exactly two weeks and one day after Mello finally caved and shook on it, Justin leaned over the spread of Christmas Hols homework on the floor between them and laid a quick, chaste kiss on Anya's lips. As the two—along with Abigail, of course—had been camped out in Mello's and Matt's room for the afternoon, it was hardly surprising when everything went silent as the brunet flushed red beneath four very surprised stares—though no one seemed quite as surprised as Justin himself. After a moment, Anya blinked, smiled shyly, and kissed him back. Neither of them ever did find out exactly why Mello lunged to his feet with a triumphant pump of his fist, before turning to smile smugly at Matt as the redhead cursed and tossed the TV remote onto his bed in irritation. And if—after the high of winning the bet had died down—Mello seemed anything less than happy for the new couple, no one but Matt ever really noticed.
Mello put his five quid toward a very good cause: buying a magazine of questionable—and undeniably gay—content over the internet, seemingly for the sole purpose of seeing Matt squirm when it was strategically left lying about. Whether he actually read the thing was up for debate, but Matt was just pleased that his friend had accepted himself… well, at least enough to be flaunting it for a laugh.
L had stayed through New Year's before packing off for the States with much more laments and whining than usual—seeing as he had, feeling particularly generous this year, set up a monthly allowance of forty pounds for each and every orphan at the House as a Christmas present. As he was absently wrapping an obnoxiously green and blue scarf around his neck and Watari was disappearing out the door with the last suitcase, he gave his protégés very strict instructions not to cause anymore undue mayhem—i.e. sneaking out at odd hours, engaging older, bulkier, or smellier children in combat, attempting to hack Scotland Yard's database, or giving Roger another ulcer… before tottering off to the car, thumb in mouth.
Classes began again in mid-January, and the world settled back into its normal routine. Near continued to outscore Mello by a few measely points, Matt got dumped for being an "insensitive git who only cared about his stupid friends," there was a rather spectacular prank involving cherry bombs in the boys' bathroom—reportedly Abigail's idea, though it was never proven—that went awry and resulted in Mello's eyebrows being singed off. Roger developed an ulcer.
On February first, L—officially, at any rate—earned himself a permanent standing in Matt's "Top Three Friggin' Coolest People on the Face of the Whole Bloody Planet… and That's Sayin' Something" along with Mello and Spike Spiegel (the Doctor wasn't on it, as, understandably, he is not human. Please see Matt's "Top Three Friggin' Coolest People in the Whole Wide Universe… and That's Really Sayin' Something.") when a plainly wrapped package postmarked from New York revealed itself to be a brand new Playstation 2 for his own, personal use… to accompany his newly repaired TV.
Mello smirked as the redhead's voice cracked unflatteringly in the midst of composing his very exuberant thank you email, and calmly set a second package, considerably smaller, on the edge of his roommate's desk. Matt clicked Send rather overzealously and pounced on Mello's present, ripping into it and emitting another ear-piercing shriek of delight when the paper slid away to reveal a copy of Final Fantasy X.
He was on his feet in a flash, bouncing excitedly toward Mello with his arms thrown wide, before he caught himself and they both froze awkwardly. Matt coughed, running a hand through his hair as he murmured an uncomfortable "thanks, Mel," and the blond turned toward his bed, schooling his features to hide the slight twinge of pain that had flashed across his face when the redhead refused to touch him. Matt plopped down on the floor in front of the television, busying himself with setting the Playstation up and attempting to ignore his silent companion as the blond balled himself into the corner of his bed with the copy of Good Omens that had been a part of L's birthday present.
A week later, Mello sat curled in the windowseat, his notes laying forgotten at his feet as he stared silently out the window, forehead resting against the cool glass. Matt glanced up from his half-finished essay, dropping his pencil onto the desk distractedly as he caught sight on the blond's melancholy reflection. He licked his lips absently, watching as listless emerald eyes finally seemed to focus. His brows furrowed questioningly.
"Hey, Matt." He jolted, notebook and pencil skittering off the table and dropping to the floor. Justin grimaced guiltily, ducking down to gather the essay back together. "Sorry about that, didn't mean to startle you."
"'s okay," Matt replied quickly, leaning down to grab his pencil as the older boy gently deposited the rest of his work back on the table in front of him, before sinking gratefully into the seat beside the redhead. "I'm beat," the brunet murmured, allowing his head to loll over the back of the chair and rubbing wearily at his eyes.
Matt gave a small, sympathetic nod, though he knew Justin wouldn't see it as cerulean eyes darted back to glance at his best friend in the windowseat, his lips pursing sadly as he watched Mello's surreptitious gaze longingly trace Justin's reflection in the window as the older boy finally sat up fully, reaching down to heft his bookbag onto the table and retrieve his own homework.
"You okay, Mel?" Matt asked quietly, snapping the blond boy out of his daze. Justin glanced up, following the redhead's gaze to the window in surprise.
"Hi, Mello. I didn't see you there," he said, giving a hopeful, friendly smile in an attempt to smother the tension that seemed to have fallen over them the last few weeks.
To his credit, Mello managed to blink the deer-caught-in-headlights look off his face rather quickly, jerking his attention to the textbook in his lap and shaking his hair loose to hide his face more efficiently. "Hi," he replied stiffly, giving the act of marking his page far more concentration than it had any real right to.
Matt barely had time to notice Justin's face contorting sadly, before Mello was up and stalking past. "I need chocolate," he growled pointedly when he came parallel to their table, and the redhead took that as his cue to jump up and scramble after his distraught friend, casting a pitying glance at Justin over his shoulder.
"Y'know, Mel," he finally said, exasperated, two hallways later, "being a jerk to him isn't going to make you stop liking him."
Mello stopped, almost seeming to deflate as he turned to give his friend a sharp glare that completely contradicted his defeated body language. Matt cocked an eyebrow at the smaller boy's rebellious façade, crossing his arms and waiting for him to speak. Forest green eyes met his own evenly, looking for a hundred things at once—acceptance, support, answers, things Matt knew Mello would always find, and things he wasn't entirely sure he could give the other boy.
A long second passed, before the blond turned on his heel and continued down the hall. Matt sighed, falling in beside him. "If you're so against it," he finally ventured after a moment, "Why do you like him?"
Mello's sure pace faltered at that, and he let loose a breath neither had noticed him holding. "He…" the blond trailed off, tilting his head back contemplatively to watch the ceiling tiles as they slid by, "He was the one there when I woke up, y'know…?" He either didn't notice or chose to ignore the guilty way Matt averted his gaze at that fact. "I mean, I opened my eyes and he was right there. And his eyes… his face… he—the—" He slowed to a halt, taking a deep breath as he gathered his thoughts, before glancing up to meet Matt's curious gaze. "It was dark," he murmured, "So dark. There was nothing there… just the darkness. I didn't dream… or if I did… there was nothing. Unconsciousness… oblivion, whatever the hell you want to call it. And then, he was suddenly there. Helping me… pulling me back—it's… hard to put into words, y'know? But… the sight of it—him… he… was beautiful."
Matt cleared his throat uncertainly, his eyes darting away from the blond's face, unused to that tone of voice… the softness reflected in jade eyes unfamiliar and mildly terrifying. He gave a shuddering, forced laugh, making himself meet Mello's gaze again. "Guess it was a good thing I wasn't the one there, huh? That would've been all sorts of awkward!" he joked uncomfortably.
Mello's lips twisted into a half smirk that didn't reach his eyes as the two turned and continued down the corridor toward the kitchen without a word.
It took another week and a half of Mello's veiled and not-so-veiled prodding about Matt's and Near's apparent falling out for it all to finally hit the fan.
"You wanna know, Mello!?" Matt—tired, ache-y, disgruntled, and frustrated—finally exploded, rounding on the startled blond frozen in the doorway of their room, bookbag hanging limply from his hand, "Fine! Since you have to know everything about fucking everyone, I'll tell you! It was about you! Yeah! Of bloody course it was! 'Cause everything's about you!" He stormed toward the other boy, stopping only when he was snarling an inch or so away from his face. "Wonderful, perfect, second place Mello. L fauns over you, Roger indulges you, Near's obsessed with you, I'm your lap dog… and… you—you took away my best friend! Near sent you out there! He's the reason you were in the infirmary, he's the reason you have that scar on your forehead—the one you're trying to hide with your bangs! He's the reason you still limp when you think no one's looking! You turned him into a cold, heartless bastard, and I couldn't even get mad at you for it 'cause you almost died!"
The blond's eyes widened in shock as Matt whirled furiously, gesturing wildly as he stormed over to square off with his roommate from the far wall, seemingly unable to stop now that the dam was broken. "I've been patient, Mello! I've stood by you, no matter what! Through everything! The big stuff and the stupid little things that only you care about! Oh, woe is me! I'm Mello, I'm number two! I'm scrawny and blond… oh, and I'm gay! I'm a freak, no one likes me! My parents are dead, I'm the only orphan in the whole world, so no one cares… I'm the only person alive who knows what it's like to really hurt! Well, boo fucking hoo!" Matt glared at the still figure in the doorway, his shoulders still heaving. "Would it kill you to think about someone… anyone besides yourself for once in your pathetic life!?"
And then, just like that, it was over and silence fell.
Mello glanced up slowly, emerald eyes piercing and unreadable through a fringe of gold, meeting the slowly widening, shocked cerulean gaze across the room. Never looking away from Matt's stricken face, the blond let his bookbag slip to the floor with an unnaturally loud thump, before turning and walking almost casually back out into the hallway, calmly closing the door behind him.
Matt stared, frozen, as the door handle slowly clicked into place. He blinked, swallowing as he turned slowly, numbly toward his bed, catching sight of his pale reflection in the mirror over Mello's dresser. Had that really been him? Where had all that come from…? He fell to sit on the edge of his mattress, burying his face in his hands. Sure… Mello could be a jerk, but surely he didn't deserve—Matt had just been so on edge lately… so much had been going on….
"Bloody hell," he whispered to himself, distraught sapphire eyes staring at a patch of carpet dimly illuminated by cold, late winter sunlight through his fingers, "What've I done?"
It was a long night. He couldn't find Mello in any of the boy's usual haunts, the blond never made an appearance at dinner, and no one had really seen him since classes had ended. Anya made a good point by suggesting that, if he was as upset as Matt said, he may have barricaded himself in L's quarters, and that, if he really was that upset, perhaps Matt should leave him to himself for a while. Matt responded with a few choice words that earned him a rather impressive and uncharacteristically loud reprimand from Justin, and stalked off, stewing. Just because she was right didn't mean he had to like it. He'd apologize to her later. Finally, when it seemed that Mello was not going to reveal himself any time soon, Matt pilfered a box of biscuits from the kitchen and retreated to his bed to watch a marathon of third season Buffy reruns in the dark.
Three quarters of the way through the box and in the midst of a rather moving speech having something to do with a parasol, the door swung back on its hinges. There was a short flash of gold backlit by the hall light, before the door shut once more and the room was bathed only in the harsh glow of the TV. Matt blinked, attempting to adjust his eyes as Mello ghosted past on his way to his side of the room, stripping off his shirt before collapsing wordlessly onto his bed, not even bothering to get under the covers as he rolled to face the wall.
Matt swallowed, a pang of guilt shooting up his spine as the glinting light from the television fleetingly illuminated a bony back and the long, thin, still-unexplained line of new scar tissue working its way down a sharp shoulder blade. He glanced down guiltily. Silence reigned for a few long minutes before, finally, Mello shivered ever-so-slightly and the spell was broken. Matt got to his feet, switching the TV off as he yanked his own nondescript comforter off his bed and headed for Mello's. The blond got no warning before the younger boy collapsed onto the mattress just behind him, tangling the both of them up in the large blanket.
"Get off," he growled, squirming away from the warm body pressed against his back.
"No," Matt replied simply, lunging after him and wrapping his arms firmly around the smaller boy's abdomen, pinning him against his chest, "You're mad at me."
"That's the gist of it, yeah." Mello continued his struggle, partially kicking off the comforter in his efforts. "Get off me, Matt. Aren't you afraid you'll get gay all over you?"
Matt sighed guiltily. So he had noticed.
Mello seemed to read his mind. "I'm not stupid. You refuse to come within a foot of my person. Don't do this to prove a point. Get the hell away from me."
The redhead made no reply for a moment, choosing instead to simply hug the other boy closer, burying his face in the hair at the nape of Mello's neck. Mello froze, blinking in a mixture of shock, confusion, and lingering rage as Matt's warm breath puffed across his throat.
"'m sorry, Mel," the younger boy murmured, "'m sorry for all of it. For being a fucktard about the gay thing… for what I said. I didn't mean it… any of it. You know I didn't." He paused as the last of Mello's struggles finally subsided and he went limp and silent in Matt's arms, neither refusing nor returning his friend's touch. The bigger boy swallowed, collecting his thoughts for a moment. "I've tried… I tried to tell myself that… if it had been the other way 'round… y'know, with Near in the infirmary and you getting all gloat-y about it, that I would've been furious at you… done the same thing… but—I… somehow, I don't think I could. It'd be different. 'Cause, you 'n' me are… different from… me 'n' Near. I dunno, it's just…" He sighed, twisting to stare up at the ceiling without jostling the other boy. "You need me. He never did. And I—oh, never mind. I just never should've said those things. 'specially about your parents. I don't know what happened, and I shouldn't've—"
Mello shifted. The redhead froze, holding his breath as the other boy disentangled himself, wondering whether he'd said the wrong thing, too much, maybe… and Mello was going to leave again. But the blond simply rolled over to face him, pressing himself back into the bundle of comforter and meeting Matt's steady gaze across the short distance between them.
"My parents…" Matt stared disbelievingly as Mello paused, contemplative for a short instant. Was he really going to…? "My father was an underboss in the Tambov Gang." At the redhead's blank stare, he clarified with an exasperated sigh. "—the Russian mafia." Cerulean eyes widened and Mello took a shuddery breath. "He wasn't very powerful, but… still respected. People were still scared of him. He never did like me much. Said I was too much of a girl… never could knock my mother up with the heir he really wanted…. Anyway. The basic idea is that I grew up in the rich part of town, with a doting mother and all the toys and chocolate I could ever want… watching my criminal, asshole father doing drug and weapons deal out of the alley next to our house."
Matt opened his mouth, though he wasn't really sure what to say. He was thankful when Mello gave him the look the clearly stated he wasn't ready for his friend to say anything—not yet.
"So, one day, I got home from school—everything was normal, mind you. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Father had had a deal the night before—one of the more important ones, which means it was one of the more drunken ones… I was expecting him to still be passed out in his study or something. So, I went to their room to find Mother. I opened the door and… it was dark, the curtains were still closed. That was strange… she always drew the curtains in the morning. I went to open them, thinking she might be sick again... and I—ran into something. I couldn't really see, but… it—it was my father." He swallowed, rolling onto his back, as though he couldn't face Matt as he continued the story. "He was lying face-down… the blood—h-he'd… he'd been dead for hours, and then I looked up and—" He broke off, closing his eyes for a moment to recompose himself. "The coroner said it was a murder-suicide; that Father had shot her in a fit of drunken rage, and then probably turned the pistol on himself. But…" He met Matt's shocked, pitying gaze wildly. "They were wrong. It was all wrong. The gun… Father kept all of his guns locked in a cabinet on the first floor… and it was still locked, the key was still in the bedside table drawer… the location and angle of the entry wound—why would he shoot himself in the base of the skull? And Mother… I think—she died second. They killed her after Father."
Matt pursed his lips, reaching out to place a comforting hand on his friend's quaking shoulder.
"No one believed me. The Gang got away clean. The case was closed, and I was shipped off. But—Matt, I—"
"I believe you, Mel," the redhead murmured comfortingly, meeting Mello's wide-eyed, frantic stare. "I believe you. I'm sorry." He pulled the other boy across the small gulf of mattress between them, crushing his friend into his chest as he waited for the tears he knew wouldn't come—Mello never cried. "I'm so sorry."
"But you know what it's like," Mello murmured after a short eternity of quiet, lifting his head off the other boy's shoulder and looking up into too-bright sapphire eyes, "You lost them, too."
Matt cleared his throat uncomfortably, shifting away from the blond. Mello propped himself up on his elbow, frowning at the back of Matt's silent crimson head. "Matt."
"My parents are still alive. At least, I think they are—were, last time I heard." He sighed, practically feeling Mello's wide emerald eyes boring into the base of his skull… like the bullet that had killed the boy's father. "They just… didn't want me."
"What!?" Mello shot up, glaring down at Matt. "What do you mean they 'didn't want you?!'" he growled dangerously.
"Well what do you think I mean, Mello?" the redhead snapped in irritation, "They didn't care! Never wanted me! My first memory is of my mother telling me that it was my fault he was gone! That if it hadn't been for me, he never would have left her and gone back to Italy. That if the fucking condom hadn't broken then they'd still be happy! Oh, she managed for a few years. I was four when she finally dumped me in some piece-of-shit orphanage in Dublin." He laughed humorlessly, shaking his head, "I really hope she found him again, y'know? That she flew to Venice and tracked him down and now they're living the blissful child-free-happily-ever-after they always wanted. But something tells me that I probably have a bastard brother or dozen in some other piece-of-shit orphanage in Belfast or something!"
Mello mouthed wordlessly, furiously, looking like a scrawny, pale goldfish in the moonlight seeping through the window. "But—why haven't you… tracked them down? Shown them that—"
"What? What could I have that they would possibly want? My mother liked her men tall, dark, and reeking of bourbon. Do I look like any of those to you?"
The blond turned away for a moment, ashamed. "I'm sorry, Matt. I just—"
"It… hurt, Mel," Matt replied softly, reaching out plaintively, not really expecting a response, "'course it did. But I'm over it. I'm better off than I ever thought I would be."
Mello met his gaze searchingly, emerald eyes shining with an emotion Matt had never found himself on the receiving end of—that he was unsure had ever appeared there at all, and brushed the back of the other boy's trembling hand with gentle fingertips. Matt jumped, startled as Mello's hand slithered up his own to grasp his wrist firmly.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, allowing Mello's warm grip on Matt's arm to say all the things they were both far too masculine and tough to ever voice aloud.
Finally, Matt laughed, a sharp, uncertain sound that broke the silence like the crack of whip. "Blimey. When'd we get so… in tune with our emotions?"
Mello's mouth stretched across his teeth in a grin that seemed more of a grimace in the dim light. "Well… I'm a poofter, and you've been nose-deep in hormones ever since your balls started dropping."
To be continued.
Hmmm. Angst and character development, anyone? So. Not much progress this chapter, but we're getting there. The next couple installments'll start getting pretty heavy. And by "heavy," what I really mean is "sexual tension you could cut with a knife." HaHA!
To the reviews!
aya: Haha! What were you revising?? Hope I didn't distract you from your studies, though… (that last part was total bullocks, of course. I've never put much stock in studying. Lame.) I loved their gay talk, too. It was so… sudden and awkward and… heh. And yay! You get muffins. State your flavor. Hope you liked this chapter! Carrot The LuvMachine: Hullo, there. I'm not entirely sure what to say, since we've already thoroughly discussed your review and its contents. Lawl. So, erm… boosh…? Damn, I'm sorry! I'm drawing a blank. Um. Hope you liked it, 'kay, bye! (Flees) camikaza: Well, I'm glad someone likes Justin! Man, everyone's all flipping out that Matt wasn't Mello's first love. Let's say he's the true love and call it even! And, weird, I never really planned for Mel to find out that way… or… that soon. But, I think it works. I just hope it works for that thing in the far future that's mysteriously connected to it… hmm. Thanks for the review! Hope you liked this one! The Chaos Apple: Hello, hello! I am Kira of the fanfiction. Fear me, rawr! Um. I'm sleep-deprived… pay me no mind. It wasn't so much… working withas swapping ideas with. She was the wall that I bounced my plot balls (…does that sound dirty to you?) off of. L totally has mutant pheromones. It is now fact. 'cause I say so. And I keep meaning to read Mercy Rule, but get distracted. I still have to read Poison Apple, too. Oi. My Too Read list is far too long…. Um. Yay, chapter 11! Trinny Dream: I scrolled over that part while proofreading (I do it multiple times even after I post it, 'cause I'm a dunce and miss lots of stuff the first few times. Ugh.) and giggled after I read your review. Glad you liked it! Thanks for the review, as always, and hope you liked this chapter! AXENATION: ('cause I'ma call you that now. Hee.) Thank you for noticing! That was my chosen detail of the chapter (aka the one I love more than… apples or something) and you're the only one who seemed to notice it! I love the mental image, too. Woot. And don't worry. Justin is hot. Think a teenage Mohinder from Heroes. Accent and all. YUM. Well, I'm okay with the OC thing as long as it's not a Mary-Sue. Which Jessamine's not, obviously. And don't worry, the beating will commence shortly. Also, that mini-rant about love confessions was the best thing I ever read. I almost died. "Oh you flatter me!" I giggled so much. So, anyhoo… thanks for reading! I always love your reviews, rambling or otherwise! Hope you enjoyed this chapter. thinlimitation: Yay, I made your day! Yay! I'm glad I made you laugh. My balance between comedy and angst is very warped for some reason… I can't seem to tell the difference sometimes. Hmm. Weird. I had to throw in the Buffy ref, 'cause now I'm on a Buffy kick. Hee. But! Thanks for the review, I always appreciate and enjoy your comments! Woot! Melii Aile: lol, thanks! And of course Mel couldn't tell Matty the truth. Then there'd be no story. XD Thanks for the review! Hope you liked this chapter! BlakValentyne-U69: I'm glad the dialogue made sense. I have a tendency to ramble while writing, so I'm usually very worried about my really dialogue-heavy chapter. Like this one. Yipe. But, anyhoo! Nope, no cliffy. Maybe next time, I dunno. Woot. Loverly Lawliet: …I? Win teh homos? OMFG. Best thing evarz. Lol! Thanks so much for the review, it made me giggle like no other! youreverlastinglight: Hallo! I haven't virtually seen you in forever! I'm very glad you're back, I missed your reviews! Hope you continue to enjoy! Demon Hiei's Girl: Of course Matty's hotter. God, he's… MATT. I think that every Matt I meet now is just automatically a little hotter than they would have been on their own. Just 'cause he was a Matt. Lol. Sad, but I honestly think it's true. Thanks for the review! Hope you aren't too disappointed. Kaze Kimizu: I hate Near, too. I'm all for the club. We should start one. I know lots of people who'd join. Mello ftw! I'm glad you approve of my Mello. That makes me happy. I hope you continue to like it! The life of a teenage racoon: Your name still makes me laugh. Heh. I'm glad you liked it! And therefore hope you go on liking it! Thanks for the reviews!! momijikk: Well, y'see, when I type your name, I get all distracted by all the dots from the "iji" and forget what I'm saying. (Told you, attention span of a gold fish) So the fact that I can type it without getting distracted is… kinda scary! But, in a good way. An all my Sims are strange. I didn't save this particular game, for obvious reasons, but my Near!Sim once died of starvation. In a kitchen. While serving everyone else food. But then—best and most in character thing ever—Mello walked up, glanced around, cheered, and congratulated Death. I almost died!! Woot! Anyhoo! Thanks for the review, always love 'em!!
LOVE. All of you. Oh-so-much. Thank you!!
…bwoff!