"My Evening Star" Chapter 6

Rating: T, just to be safe

Word Count: 4,564 (new record for my longest chapter. Haha)

TV Spoilers?: Not, not really. Just basically around episodes 4,5, and I think 6 when Blair really has no friends

Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Gossip Girl or really anything affiliated with it.

Other: Sorry if this chapter isn't so smooth or may have a few errors…I've been really busy this week and decided I'd put up what I had instead of trying to perfect it, so I'm sorry if it's a bit of a let down.

Anyways, thanks everyone again for the reviews! I love you all and they've just been so great, so thanks again.

--

It was Saturday morning, and Will had taken Blair to brunch, yet again, like he now did every weekend. It was a nice tradition they had started, made all the more pleasant by the walk they took afterward through Central Park.

It was there that the two of them strolled now, walking close but not quite touching. Will had already brushed his hand up against her twice, clearly hinting for her to take it, but she simply ignored it. As great as he was to have around, and as pretty as he was to look at, Blair wasn't ready to take the next step.

She knew what Will wanted. He hadn't exactly been subtle but she had grown a thick shell lately, necessary to shield herself from how cruel life could be, and he hadn't been able to pull it down. Though a strong part of her wished she could will herself into falling for him like she had with Nate and Marcus, she had yet to succeed.

Good thing Will seemed patient. He had hinted earlier that week without actually saying the words that he was willing to wait for her…and once again she could not help but to be flattered. Now if only she could conjure up some fluttering in her stomach while he was near, or force her skin to heat up whenever he stood close…

She knew what she wanted to feel for him. She wanted him to make her blood boil, make her feel light headed.. intoxicated by his presence. She wanted to share knowing looks and devious smirks, and have him make the entire room disappear with just one intense gaze….

But most of all, she wanted him to make her happy. It had been awhile.

To put it frankly, she wanted him to be Chuck, and she loathed herself for feeling that way.

She could not help but to be bitter as she wondered why it wasn't Chuck that was so attentive and flattering. Why couldn't he be so fearless when it came to his feelings for her? Why didn't he care for her the way Will seemed to?

And damn it, most of all, why was she still thinking of that bastard? She swore ten times a day she wouldn't think of him, only to be outraged and disappointed when she broke that rule time and time again.

And here she was now…comparing sweet, adoring, and sophisticated Will to that selfish, smug ass and still found herself wanting it to be him…what the hell was wrong with her?!

Unknowingly, her delicate features creased into a frown that Will soon picked up on.

"Are you alright?" He suddenly asked, concern shining in his pale, pale blue eyes. Blair quickly snapped back into reality.

"Of course. I was sick to my stomach for a moment thinking about something unpleasant, but its passed." Plastering a polite smile on her face she looked up at him with her dark, doe eyes. "You were saying?"

"We were just talking about our favorite places in Rhône-Alpes but if you're feeling sick, perhaps its about time we headed back…." Blair shook her head fervently.

"No, no…I'm fine, really." She insisted before her phone let out a soft chime, telling her she had a text message. Saved by the bell…or ring in this case.

After flashing another polite smile, she reached into her small Coach clutch and pulled out her cellphone. Unsurprisingly, it was a blast from Gossip Girl.

Gossip Girl Here-

With quite a bit of gossip that may just shock you. Over the last few weeks, we have all become reacquainted with William Kensington. Shiny blond hair, pretty blue eyes, inseparable from B? Yeah, we've been reacquainted alright, but a certain source has dug up some information for me on the UES's newest former student that you may find very interesting.

It seems Will may not be the wonder boy we thought him to be, after all. In fact, just last year he spent a total of seven months in a recovery center called "Catalina's Treatment Facility." Treatment for what? I don't know yet but I doubt B's going to be wanting to introduce W to her mom anytime soon. Poor B. When is this girl going to get a break?

Until I can get more information concerning W's scandalous past….

You know you love me,

XOXO -Gossip Girl

Blair nearly dropped her phone. What the hell was this? Will used to be in a recovery center? How had he failed to mention that?! Feeling nearly sickened by this new information, Blair shot Will one of her most potent death glares.

"Catalina Treatment Facility?" She spat out in disbelief. "A treatment facility?!"

Will's eyes widened instantly and when she saw a desperate expression flicker over his usual calm features… Blair knew in an instant Gossip Girl's recent bashing was true.

"How could you not tell me you spent months in a treatment facility!" She hissed while he stepped towards her.

"Blair, listen to me…" He began reaching for her arm, but she quickly pulled it away.

"Don't touch me!" She snapped before she buried her hand in her hands, needing a moment to think. "Oh my God, I cannot believe this!"

"Blair!" Will tried again, but she was too deep in her own thoughts to reach.

"What is everyone at school going to say? They're all going to think I've been with some crazy person, or heroine addict. I'm never going to be able to get my throne back if…"

"Blair!" Will suddenly yelled in a voice so disturbing, the tiny hairs on her arms began to raise. When she finally turned to look at him, he looked so upset, with a wild, desperate look in his eye that shocked her. Whenever Blair had seen him before, Will had always been so poised, or self-assurance…nothing like this.

To her discomfort, he now looked a little crazed. And she couldn't help but be a little frightened.

"Listen." He told her, quieter, as he stepped forward and grabbed her slim wrists in his strong hands. She tried to pull away instantly but he only held on tighter. "I wanted to tell you…I was going to tell you but not until you and I became…"

"Became what?" Blair spat out with a glare while he gave her a dark look of his own. "You know what I what Blair."

The words were spoken so deep and intensely that she swallowed the sharp reply she had been preparing, going silent for a second instead before asking. "Why were you in a treatment facility, Will? You're going to have to tell me now."

He nodded at that, before he released one of her hands and covered the other, gently stroking the soft top.

"It's not what you're probably thinking. And I really did want to tell you…" He sighed.

"You see, two Christmases ago, just a few weeks after my parent's divorce was finalized, I was skiing with my Dad and his new girlfriend at St. Anton, in Austria, when I broke my leg. I actually managed to snap it in three places and had to be helicoptered out. Once they took me to the nearest hospital, I underwent emergency surgery and even had a rod put into my ankle."

He shook his head, and cringed a little bit as though the memory itself was bringing him pain. Despite all her former anger, Blair could not help but to feel bad for him.

"I'll admit it, it hurt. And I wasn't really used to feeling that sort of pain. I had never even broken a finger before, and I couldn't believe how bad all the physical therapy hurt. It hurt even worse once they had me start walking on crutches, plus I was still dealing with my parents divorce…"

He swallowed. "But one thing did make it feel better….my pain medications."

Blair watched quietly as he hung his head with guilt. "I was weak. I know. At first I just was taking the prescribed amount, but soon I kept taking more and more, even after my leg was all fixed up. After awhile I just got so sick of it, but couldn't stop, so I talked to my mom and she thought it would be best to send me to Catalina's…"

The look on Will's face was so sad that Blair could not help but feel sympathetic. She understood what he had gone through, after all. She knew how painful and traumatizing her parent's divorce had been for her…and she couldn't imagine what it would be like dealing with it while also being burdened with a shattered leg.

Though she was not a particularly empathetic person, she now felt like she had an understanding with him, and so she gave his hand a little squeeze.

"I'm glad you finally told me." She said honestly, unable to help feeling both thrilled and important that he decided to open up to her. It really meant a lot…. in the past she had been nearly shattered by a man who apparently decided she wasn't worth letting in.

"You aren't mad?" He responded with hope shimmering in his pale blues eyes.

"No.." She replied, before she suddenly frowned. "But no more hiding any secrets. I hate being caught off guard." Will nodded, and she sighed.

"Look, something's got to be done about this Gossip Girl thing. Maybe it would be best if everyone heard the truth? I mean, everyone's going to think you're a crazy person or some sort of addict if we don't straighten it out." Will nodded once more and she felt reassured.

This was something she could fix. No way was she going to fall right back down to a social low.

"Do you want to go and get coffee or something?" He asked her, but she was already formulating a plan and couldn't let anything get in her way.

"No, I think its about time I got home." She replied, before he nodded and began to walk her home. As they turned back, Blair continued to ask him questions about his past, talking to him now about his feelings and experiences…still so pleased he had let her in.

Unfortunately, as they walked along, Blair failed to notice the triumphant gleam now shining in Will's pale eyes and the flicker of a smug smirk that appeared whenever she looked away….

--

Less than a half hour later, Blair was in her room, sitting at her laptop with a smirk on her face as she typed furiously.

Her current email was truly a work of art… a story about a good, sweet, but misdirected young man who was driven to addiction after being broken both mentally and physically. First, he lost his family, the most important thing in the world to him, as his parent's once loving marriage tragically fell apart right before his eyes…

Next, he was brought back from the brinks of death after an excruciating accident, only to find himself trapped in a world of perpetual pain, wondering if he was doomed to spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair…

Yes, Blair knew once Gossip Girl had received her story, Will would be depicted as a tragic, broken down hero desperate for redemption….and who better to fix him than Blair?

She would be the envy of every girl at Constance, for who didn't fantasize about being the girl who stopped a flawed, but good man's down whirl spiral?

Who knows? This may be just the boost she needed to regain her Queen status….Blair thought to herself.,

And when that did finally happen, she would march right up to Chuck Bass and flash him her widest, most triumphant smirk ever just to remind him he could not win. Ever. Not when it came to her.

Blair knew he had been the one to send that tip to Gossip Girl in the first place. Of course it was him…the boy absolutely loved making her life as difficult as possible. And she was furious.

Why couldn't he just leave her alone? She wanted to forget him. She wanted to move on and live a life completely without his influence…completely without him period. But he didn't seem willing to let up anytime soon and enough was enough now.

But of course, just as Blair was scolding herself from once again letting herself think about him, she could hear the elevator ring followed by Dorota's voice.

"Miss Blair! Mr. Chuck for you!"

For a second, she couldn't believe it. Though she knew Chuck had nerve, coming to rub his most recent attempt to ruin her life in her face was going too far. She was going to kill him. She was actually going to wring his neck.

Stomping down the staircase, she threw him the most hateful glare she could possibly muster.

"What are you doing here?"

He blinked, and raised his brows, clearly surprised by her display of detestation. Even Dorota seemed uncomfortable judging by her sudden disappearance.

"Why hello to you, Waldorf." He replied. "You're looking particularly jovial today."

"Spare me the wisecracks and the wittism, Bass. Just tell me what you want, and then leave." She remarked, why he stared at her for a moment, as if he was trying to figure her out.

"First tell me what's with the hostility? You wouldn't happen to be behaving this way because you found out your newest White Knight has a past just a bit darker than you thought?"

Blair rolled her eyes and then glared once more. "You have no idea what you're talking about."

Chuck raised his brows instantly. "Oh? You mean Little Billy wasn't locked up away in some treatment facility less than a year ago?"

"No. He was." Blair responded, crossing her arms. "But do you even have any idea why?"

Her nonchalant attitude towards the subject seemed to catch him off guard and for a moment he did nothing but leer back. She ignored his lack of response and continued.

"It's because he became addicted to pain medication after he suffered through a horrible skiing accident, and an even more horrible divorce. He didn't know how else to deal with the pain…"

"He told you that?" Chuck suddenly cut in. "He told you how terrible his life was and gave you his whole sob story and just like that you forgive him?" He stepped closer to her, his tone becoming more and more heated.

Blair wouldn't back down. "Yes, I did."

"So it doesn't matter to you at all that he is an ex-addict? You don't care that he hid that from you? That there is so much more to his life that he didn't bother telling?" He asked her with a scowl while she glared back.

"He told me, today." She insisted while he scoffed.

"Yeah, because he was backed into a corner thanks to me."

Blair threw him another hateful glare. "No, Chuck. He would have told me because that's the kind of relationship we have. We confide in each other, we ask each other questions. We care. Just because you are incapable of getting close to anyone doesn't mean others aren't."

Chuck went silent for a moment, and Blair could tell she had unknowingly struck a nerve. Served him right.

"This isn't about me, Blair." He told her in a tight voice, that couldn't quite conceal the emotions underneath. "This is about him, and him being dangerous. You shouldn't be spending time with this creep."

"Creep?" Blair repeated, rolling her eyes. "And we're back to this again."

"You have no idea who he is. You can sit around all day telling me how he confided to you his darkest secrets while you braided his hair..but you still don't know him at all, and you don't know what he is capable of." Chuck said heatedly.

Blair stared at him in disbelief. "What are you talking about?"

"Nate. Look what he just did to Nate." Chuck spat out. "He put a half of pound of weed in his bag and orchestrated it so it would fall out in public. Now Nate has been suspended indefinitely, and can do nothing but sit around all day waiting to see if his life is ruined."

Blair was stunned by this accusation, and needed a moment to process it before she shook her head. "Will would never do something like that. No way." She insisted.

"Is it really that hard to believe your newest piece of armcandy would be capable of such a thing?" Chuck asked her with a scowl.

"It's a lot easier to belief that Nate, himself, was guilty. I mean, I did date him for years and I know how much weed you, two, smoke. A half pound probably wouldn't last all that long…" She began.

"But where would he get the money to buy it in the first place?" Chuck asked her with a raised brow, and she could not help but to wonder that, as well.

"Even if Nate was framed, why would Will ever do it? He has no problem with Nate!" She reasoned, unwilling to accept for a second that the boy she had been spending all this time with was capable of such a thing.

"And it's not like Nate doesn't have enemies. There are a lot of people looking for Archibald blood ever since his dad fled the country, screwing them all over."

"Perhaps." Chuck allowed, "but I know Kensington did it."

"How?" Blair asked with her eyes narrowed. "Do you have proof?"

"No, but you have to trust me on this, Waldorf." Blair scoffed instantly.

"Trust? I thought I made it clear before how little that word means when it comes to you." She snapped.

Chuck rolled his eyes in exasperation. "I told you before that this conversation is not about me."

"Maybe it should be." Blair retorted, putting her hands on her waist. "Maybe we should have a conversation about this, because I have obviously not been clear enough with you."

"About what?" Chuck asked with a leer, apparently frustrated that he couldn't get through to her.

"That I want you out of my life. Completely out of my life." Blair told him, fury in her doe-like eyes.

"Blair…" Chuck tried to cut in, but she wouldn't let him.

"I mean it, Chuck. Don't talk to me, don't come over to my house, don't even bother looking at me! Just stay out of my life!" She demanded, getting up in his face as she did.

That turned out to be a mistake, because from she could now see clearly that flash of hurt in his dark eyes as he stared at her, the life seeming to slowly drain out of him.

A part of her wanted to throw her arms around him right then and there, and take back the words…anything to get that look of his face, but she was too proud. So instead she continued to stand there, her chin held high.

After a long, long moment, Chuck finally shook his head.

"You know, as hard as it is for you to believe… I didn't come here to fight with you. I'm not trying to ruin your life and I'm not trying to make you miserable." He told her in a soft tone, while he looked deep into her eyes, causing her to freeze in place.

"I truly did come here to warn you because despite our past and despite the constant hostility, I want you safe. I actually do care about you, Blair." He declared before he turned his head, seemingly unable to look at her. After a long pause, he added quietly.

"But the feeling was never mutual, was it? I'm the always bad guy... Always the one in the wrong, always the villain. And you never really cared, did you?" He asked her, locking gazes with her once more, staring deep into her eyes as though there was something he was searching for.

After a long moment, he shook his head so sorrowfully Blair's heart began to ache, and walked towards the door.

In that instant, Blair could feel herself falling apart. Every step that he took away was like a weight, pressing down harder and harder upon her until she snapped.

"I waited for you!" She called out after him, finally going to pieces after spending so much time and energy to keeping herself perfectly composed whenever she was around him. She couldn't do it anymore.

"I waited for you everyday in France, wondering if you'd surprise me…wondering if you'd finally come…but you never did…" She cried, tears suddenly springing to eyes and running wildly down her cheeks.

Chuck's eyes never left her's and the pure remorse and regret she could see in them only made her cry harder.

"I put myself on the line for you over and over again!" She declared, while Chuck's eyes narrowed skeptically.

"As I recall, it's always been me chasing after you, Waldorf." He responded bitterly while he took a step towards her.

"Always me jumping through the hoops while you dangle whoever your newest consort is in my face!" He retaliated as flashed her an intense look.

"You were the one who practically shoved me into their arms!" She cried back wildly.

"First with Nate when you ruined my cotillion, then with Marcus after you abandoned me! Even now with Will, since it was you who took away my throne!" She yelled with so much emotion that she actually began to shake.

Unable to look at him, she turned her head and wiped furiously at her tears before confessing.

"And the most pathetic thing about it all is that I would have chosen you over them every time. I did choose you, but then you always managed to ruin it." She said, before she locked eyes with him again, not caring if the tears hadn't quite stopped.

"I was so stupid to think, even for a moment that it would work with us. That you'd actually be willing to try. But you were one of my best friends and everything just seemed so right! How was I supposed to know you'd be the biggest disappointment of all?!" She yelled, as he took a step closer to her.

"Blair.." He called in a soft voice, but she wasn't done.

"No! There is nothing you can say, Chuck. You broke me. You broke me far worse than Nate or Marcus ever could. So don't bother asking me to trust you, and don't you dare ever, ever tell me that I don't care!"

She yelled, before she went to pieces completely, her entire body shaking violently as she desperately tried to fight back her sobs.

After nearly a solid minute of hiding her face in her hands, she finally looked up to see Chuck staring looking at her with a heartfelt expression she couldn't even begin to decipher.

Pain? Remorse? Shock? Misery? Perhaps all of them and more. Blair could feel herself suffocating under the heat of it, for though she had long since grown used to his intense expressions, she had never him display so much emotion…

And she didn't think she could take it.

"Blair…I…I" He tried to say something in response, but couldn't and when Blair heard him go silent, she felt herself breaking once more.

She thought she had gotten past this, she thought she had toughed up enough to really face him, but she had been wrong. Horribly wrong.

After releasing a loud, choked out noise, she shook her head, and ran up to her room, unable to take this any longer. She then threw herself on her bed, allowing her grief, her disappointment, and her embarrassment to take over completely.

When he finally left, she didn't know…but she was cruelly aware that he hadn't come after her. That only brought on more tears.

For nearly two hours or so she sobbed, finally crying over Chuck Bass despite the fact she had desperately promised herself she never would. It was inevitable though…that bastard, though she hated him, meant more to her than anyone…and now they were truly done.

Not wanting to wallow in self pity any longer, Blair finally raised herself up from her Egyptian cotton sheets and marched over to her computer. Still sniffling, she brought up the letter she had been typing to Gossip Girl and glanced at it for a moment.

She then raised her chin once more, looking like the poised Queen B most people knew her as, and pressed 'send email.' Instantly, she felt better.

She was Blair Waldorf, after all, and she wasn't going to let a man like Chuck Bass destroy her. Though she had just admitted far more to him than she had ever wanted to, she still wasn't going to let him bring her down.

No, she thought, as she glanced once more at her sent email, even though Chuck had ruined her day, and her entire life basically…at least now she had something to look forward to in the morning.

--

Unfortunately I'm not sure when I'll be able to get the next chapter up since this upcoming week is the week of hell (4 midterms and an essay) but hopefully it will be soon enough...at the absolute latest it will be a week but I'm pretty sure I can get one up before then.

Thank you all so much for reading, and again, I'm sorry if this chapter may be a little flat…There are things I want to change about Chuck and Blair's conversation, but I can't pinpoint what exactly…and I really don't like the ending…eh, oh well.

I hope you guys enjoy, and please review if you can! They really mean a lot!