"My Evening Star" Chapter 7

Rating: T, just to be safe

Word Count: 1,956..My shortest chapter yet. Sorry guys!

TV Spoilers?: Not, not really. Just around second season during the time that Blair lost her throne and her friends.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Gossip Girl or really anything affiliated with it.

Other: Ok, it took me awhile to get out this chapter, and I'll admit it…it was my crappiest. This is midterms week so I struggled to get anything out at all. Sorry this is short…I guess its more of a half chapter than anything…and really, it just kind of sets up things to come so I apologize for the total and utter lack of plot. Next chapter, I assure you, will be filled with it.

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Chuck had avoided going home after his argument with Blair, knowing perfectly well what would be waiting for him if he did: a bottle of scotch and too much time too think about what had just occurred.

Since every word she had just spoken, and every tear she had shed were cruelly fresh in his mind, he was desperate for a distraction…and where better to go than his oldest friend's place? Especially since Nate really hadn't been doing much every since he was suspended, so it was the perfect escape.

Once he was there, though, neither he nor Nate had a particularly jolly good time since they were both in foul moods, trapped and consumed with their own thoughts. They seemed to have an unspoken agreement not to talk about their woes so Nate didn't bother telling Chuck just how afraid for his future was and Chuck, in return, didn't mention anything about his most recent battle with Blair.

Yet, like usual, the two of them had a mutual understanding and took comfort in having their best friend beside them. It made them feel like they weren't alone, which was exactly what both boys needed to experience at that moment…although neither would ever admit it.

Eventually, Chuck did return home, and just like he knew he would, went straight for the scotch. He then settled onto the couch and finally let his mind completely mull over what had happened before. He had kept trying to put this moment off, without much success, but now the memories from earlier nearly flooded him completely…

Blair's fury.

The pain in her dark eyes.

The tears streaming down her pretty face.

The way her body shook with emotion.

Chuck had never seen her that way before. Sure, he had had a glimpse of her crying before. It was hard not too after they had known each other for years, and she had forced everyone to watch their fair share of sappy, old Hollywood movies. But her anguish and her weeping today was unlike anything he had before.

She was Blair Waldorf, after all. Always poised, always the picture of perfection. She wasn't suppose to be wracked with sobs. She wasn't suppose to have mascara smeared down her cheeks. But most of all, she wasn't suppose to look so broken, as though she had been so beaten down she had finally gone to pieces.

And Chuck wasn't sure exactly how he felt knowing he had been the one to bring out this shattered, vulnerable side to her.

Of course, there was a huge part of him filled with remorse. Blair was one of the toughest people he knew…and he loathed seeing her that way. Knowing it could have all been avoided if he hadn't been so stupid…if he hadn't been such a coward…

How many hours had he spent trying to drink away the envy he felt every time he saw her with another man? How much time had he wasted obsessing over everything that happened between them, trying to figure out what went wrong…what he could have done differently…

But today she had told him that she would have chosen him again and again, a thought that made his stomach twist. She had wanted him. Him. Over Nate, over Marcus. Him.

And though a part of him was filled with self loathing upon this revelation, admittedly, it thrilled him as well.

Chuck was a selfish young man, after all. And he was used to getting his way in all things but Blair. His entire life she had fascinated him, and for the better part of the last year she had been his obsession, always the center most thought in his mind.

He had spent so much time plotting and pining for her, needing her in the way he had never needed anything before…loving her with everything he had while she flashed him a few evil smirks and acted like he never meant anything to her.

Now he knew better. And the crippling bitterness he felt after enduring so many rejections made him take comfort in the idea that she had suffered as well. After she had brought him so much anguish, she deserved to have her heart shattered as well.

And the selfish part of him was glad she was feeling pain, because it meant she actually did have feelings for him. For the first time ever, Chuck was aware that Blair Waldorf truly cared about him. How much, he didn't know, but enough to give him hope.

If she would cry over him like that…if she would break down and be forced to abandoned her perfect, cold façade then she clearly had strong feelings for him…and that meant they had a chance for a future.

Blair could still be his like he always craved. They could finally be together and "do it right" like they had talked about many times but had never actually managed to do.

It was up to him now. That's the way it always was with Blair. Both of them would put each other off, always trying to maintain the balance in their favor, always trying to keep some sort of resemblance of power.

But Blair now had finally put herself out there. She had admitted her feelings and had shown just how badly he had hurt her. He knew her better than to think she'd keep throwing herself at him.

No, it was Chuck's turn now. As much as it would pain him to do, since this was something he had never really done before, he was going to have to make a few confessions of his own.

The thought was terrifying, and Chuck had to take a deep sip of his scotch to even stomach it, but he was resolved. After all, he knew he loved Blair with everything he was. He still thought about her everyday, yearned to hold her, and longed for her to finally be his and his alone.

She had been the one to make him realize that he had a heart, after all, once he lost it to her completely. After years of feeling cold and numb, wasting his time on things that meant absolutely nothing…she had ignited life into him…and finally gave him something to really live for.

And now that he knew there was a chance she felt the same way in return… he had to tell her how he felt, despite the fear that idea evoked within him.

For Chuck was always one to think like a true Bass man and he concluded now that though he may have a lot to lose, when it came to Blair, he had even more to gain.

--

After Will had walked Blair back to her apartment, he began to pace up and down her street a few times, needing to clear his head.

This morning had been amazing for him, as he continued to take in Blair's presence, now as fully addicted to her as any heroine addict. Maybe even more, since her lovely dark eyes, and perfect brunette locks consumed his every thought, and he reveled in his obsession.

Yet a terrible unpredicted twist had occurred today when she had received the newest Gossip Girl blast, and he had almost lost her. He could tell by the way she had pulled away from him and shot him her darkest glares. Seeing her pull away like that had nearly sent him over the edge, though he had tried his best to hide it.

Fortunately, he seemed to have succeeded in concealing his passionate fury at the idea of ever losing her, and she had given him the opportunity to explain the secrets of his past.

Since he was adamant about never revealing to her the truth, knowing she would likely try to leave him if he did, he instead her a story that he knew would evoke her pity. For though his Evening Star was so cold, she still had her vulnerabilities and, naturally, he had made sure he had done his research so he knew them well.

Telling her a story about his parent's divorce had been exactly what he had needed to do to get back her good graces, and he had succeeded. But he couldn't congratulate himself quite yet.

For there was clearly somewhat out there plotting to take Blair away from him and had dug up part of his past to do so. Gossip Girl's newest post was clearly an attack and Will's fists clenched while his icy blue eyes flashed at the thought. How dare anyone ever try to separate him from Blair! It could never be done! He would never allow it.

And Will was not stupid. He knew it must have been that damn Chuck Bass who was proving to be even more of a problem than he had initially anticipated. It was clear he had to destroy the bastard, and quickly, but first things first…he had another target in sight.

Serena Van der Woodsen. The beautiful blond who danced through life unaware of the damage she had caused her so called best friend through it all. Serena had crushed Blair when she had slept with Nate (who he had already so neatly disposed of) , and had yet to stop hurting her even today.

Everyday Will could see the way Blair would look at her, part in anger, part in envy, part in hurt…clearly longing for her former best friend. And the thought enraged Will, since he firmly believed that he and he alone was good enough to hold Blair's affection.

After all, no one would ever love her like he did.

And so, enough was enough. It was time someone wiped that perfect smile off of Serena Van der Woodsen's pretty face. For what she had done to Blair, it was only right she'd finally be thrown down from her pedestal and onto her knees for the first time in her life.

And Will reveled in the idea that he would be the one to do it.

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I apologize again for the shortness of this chapter and the total, utter lack of plot. I wanted to have some build up so you guys would know who the next target was… plus Chuck's whole thought process also hints at things to come. I promise next chapter will be much better and more action packed.

And I'm happy to say once Thursday comes along I should be able to dish out chapters much faster, at least for awhile. Midterms will be over, which is like a clean slate for me…so I'm hoping I'll get a chance to update more regularly.

Thanks again guys for reading and for all your reviews!