Flabbergasted Phenomenon
Summary: "This is the most unique situation I have ever heard of with a human and a vampire," was what Carlisle said, but all I could think was, "I'm going to have a baby."
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse. I just own the scenarios where I thrust my favorite vampire and his family and the love of his life! Yay for me!
Chapter Twenty-seven: Decisions
I crossed off March 2nd from the calendar, and sighed. I was still trapped inside the hotel, still trapped inside a city I was unaware of the name, still waiting for someone to get me. I scrubbed at my eyes, wishing the tears would stop falling.
Every night before I went to bed, I crossed off the date from the calendar, and every day I was getting more and more tired. With the strength that I somehow still possessed, I got off the bed, waddling to the bathroom. I wasn't even sure if I could call it walking anymore. I stared at my reflection in the mirror, pressing against the dark circles beneath my eyes. If I could get comfortable enough to sleep, which was a hassle in itself, I would wake up from screaming. My nightmares were the same every time I went to sleep, and it was making sleeping a chore more than anything else.
The ever present tear stains on my cheeks made me feel like crying all over again. A woman who is just beginning her 33rd week of pregnancy should not be put through this torture of being alone. I don't think I've ever felt this lonely in my life, even though Richard came up every day and ate lunch with me. He was a peculiar fellow, and I found out he was 21 and engaged. The thought of him being engaged eased me greatly, because if he ever hinted at wanting to date me, I probably would have had an emotional breakdown.
After examining my reflection, I reached for the hotel provided toothbrush and toothpaste, and began to brush my teeth.
I tried to waste as much time as I could before returning to my bed, because it was then that the loneliness really crept into my heart and ate at me.
I finished brushing my teeth, and then I brushed my hair. I was thankful it was short, having grown only an inch or so since I've been here. I brushed it into a bun and tried to get as much of it off my neck as possible.
Finally, I knew I was prolonging the inevitable for too long. I turned off the light in the bathroom and turned off the light in the room too. The television was on, and I turned it up, hoping that if I screamed, the sound from it would be drowned out. Then I crawled into bed and laid down on my side, placing a pillow between my knees and beneath my abdomen. I wish whoever packed my clothes thought of bringing my pregnancy books. Then I'd be able to find out how to sleep comfortably. I closed my eyes, my weariness mixing in with the normal fatigue. I wanted to find a way to sleep comfortably and without nightmares.
The infomercial on the television was about a blender, and the sound of the blender irritated me, but I didn't want to move an inch, so I couldn't change the channel. Tears poured out of my eyes steadily, and I found myself whispering, "Edward" over and over again. I knew if he was nearby, he'd hear me and whisk me away, and that's what hurt the most; he wasn't even close enough to hear me.
I felt all drained out by the time I pushed my pillow closer to me, hugging it to my face. I had no idea what time it was, but by my glance out the window, it was late. The moon and stars were shining brightly overhead, and the sky was dark.
With my eyes closed again, I tried to think of something happy, soothing to help me drift off. If I could get two hours of sleep tonight, I would be pleased. I began to hum my lullaby, and my voice sounded weak and broken. It wasn't enough for me to drift off pleasantly, but it was enough. I was falling asleep.
When I woke again, my head was buried in my pillow, and I was breathing heavily. For a moment I wasn't sure what woke me up, and I pulled my face away from the pillow. I was covered in sweat and my body was shaking. Tears were running down my cheeks, but I wasn't at the point in my nightmares that I usually woke up.
A shrill ringing sounded in my ears, and I sat up unsteadily, looking around. There was no phone in this room, and that was definitely a phone ringing. I got out of bed and felt around for anything that might be considered a phone. The light from the television provided an eerily blue glow around the room. "Don't stop!" I begged, as I looked beside the bed and inside the little stand. There was a Holy Bible in there, but nothing else.
As I moved away from the bed, I noticed that the ringing became fainter, so I brought my attention back to the bed. I tore it apart, tossing the pillows and blankets and pulling the sheets out. I peered between the wall and the bed, and I saw a red light flashing. I climbed onto the bed, getting on my knees and reaching down. My hand barely fit and my fingertips just barely brushed whatever was flashing. It took a second for me to grasp it, and I finally did, pulling it out. "A cell phone!" I gasped, staring at it. Just as I was about to flip it open to answer, the ringing stopped.
A strong feeling of dejection filled me as I looked at the most recent call. There had only been one in the entire history, and the number I did not recognize. It didn't even have a Forks area code. I didn't know whose phone this was, so I didn't feel comfortable in calling the person back. I closed the phone and looked at the time that flashed; 3:12am.
A full five minutes passed before I opened the phone again and called the number back. I could at least give the courtesy call and see if it was someone looking for a person in this hotel. My hands were shaking as I called again and held the phone to my ear.
It was answered on the first ring. "Hello."
I jumped at the sound of the harsh voice. It was deep and almost growling, as if I called him back at a wrong time. For a split second I was at a loss for words, and then I whispered, hoping the person on the other line heard me, "You just called this number, and I was just wondering if you—"
"Bella?"
It was as if a blow had been delivered right to my midsection because all air left my lungs. I couldn't breathe but tears filled my eyes and I felt my entire body begin to tremble. I moved from my knees very slowly and onto my side, listening as the person on the other end of the phone breathed.
"Breathe Bella! Breathe!"
I took a shuddering breath and managed to gasp out, "Edward," before sobs overtook my body and I couldn't speak again. He is really on the phone, this is really his voice. He hasn't forgotten about me! He called me! He was trying to comfort me over the phone as I cried, but I just couldn't hold it in any longer.
It was a few minutes before I got a handle on my speech. I sniffled and scrubbed at my eyes, my fingers curling tightly around the phone. "Edward," I said again, hoping that my mind wasn't fooling me. I was prone to having delusions when I was distressed.
"It would be easier if you spoke to me, love. Tell me how you're feeling."
Was someone listening? I wanted to ask, but knew that if he wanted me to speak and not himself, then it was obvious that someone was listening. "I'm as okay as I can be." I didn't want to let on that I was miserable and had nightmares every night and couldn't sleep. That kind of guilt was something Edward constantly inflicted on himself. "I love you and miss you a lot."
I heard his breathing hitch, as if he was shocked that I said that. It took a second for him to reply. "Me too," Edward murmured quietly. I just barely caught it, but it brought a smile to my face nonetheless. I took a shuddering breath, wanting to find something to say, to keep him on the phone as long as I could.
"Gabriel says hello. And he misses real food." I rubbed my stomach and smiled despite my tears. Even though Doctor Franklin and Richard were nice people, whoever was making the food should find another job. I was close to saying Charlie could cook better. "I can't wait until April 24th." Edward chuckled and I reveled in hearing the musical sound. It would have been so much better if he was here. "Is the family okay? You can just say yes or no."
"Yes."
"And Charlie? He's okay, isn't he?"
"Yes."
"They aren't hunting in Forks, are they?" I was anxious, if the Volturi were hunting in or extremely close to Forks, Charlie might be called in to investigate, and I would forever blame myself if he got hurt.
"No." Edward's voice was smooth and convincing, and I let out a breath, at least something from my nightmares could be dispelled. "Don't worry, we're keeping everyone safe."
"Great," I whispered, closing my eyes. My hand continued rubbing my stomach and I squeezed my eyes shut as fatigue swept through me once again. I didn't want to fall asleep though, if my angel was on the phone, I could stay up a little longer. "You can let Carlisle know that there haven't been any changes in my pregnancy, everything is the same as it was before, except I'm bigger, I suppose." I sat up and rested my head against the wall. If I could lie in one position for a few minutes, I'd be happy. "And tired," I added. "Really tired, and I swear my bladder shrunk."
"A huh," Edward said, and I could hear in his voice that that wasn't what he really wanted to say. My spirits that were higher drifted down again at the sound of his voice. Tears clouded my eyes again. I wanted so badly to be in his arms. The inevitable question of how long my incarceration in the hotel came to mind, and I bit my lip, unsure if I should ask or not. Knowing that Edward felt guilty for having to hide me away mingled with the fear that Edward wouldn't know the answer.
What if I'm here forever? I began to tremble at the realization that maybe that was the plan. If I was away forever, then I wouldn't be at risk from any vampire.
"How much longer am I going to be away?" I blurted out, unable to stop myself. "I hate being away from you. I feel as if I can barely keep myself together!" It came out in a rush, and I was holding my breath, waiting for Edward to respond. His voice was pained and it sounded forced as he whispered,
"It won't be much longer love, and I do miss you. I miss your blush and your warmth and the sound of your voice. Your heartbeat is my missing song, and so is Gabriel's." I started to cry at his confession, and he immediately began to comfort me. "I'm sorry it had to come to this. But you will be back in my arms soon love, very soon. I love you more than the amount of stars in the sky. Please stop crying."
I couldn't stop. "I need you so much," I mumbled. I listened as Edward's breathing hitched and I squeezed my eyes shut, knowing I was making him feel guilty.
"I have to go—"
"No!" I cried.
"I have to. Please don't make this any harder than it already is."
"Before you go," I whispered, trying to force my words out from the lump in my throat. "My lullaby, please."
"I love you."
"I love you too."
And then he began to hum my lullaby. The song didn't help my state and I began to cry harder. I listened for as long as I could take, and then I closed the phone without a word. I laid down on my side and burrowed myself beneath the blankets, holding the cell phone as tightly as I could. The song was stuck in my head, but I didn't mind. I pulled the blanket over my head and cried until I fell asleep; the only thought in my head was that Edward was coming to get me soon.
"Isabella Cullen, you look a mess."
I pressed my fingers against the dark circles beneath my eyes. When was the last time I slept properly? I even looked a little ill, as if I couldn't hold down food—which was the almost truth. I stared blearily at my reflection a moment longer before turning away from the mirror, disgusted with the way I looked. It wasn't healthy to be so melancholy, but I couldn't help it.
I walked to the bed slowly. Whoever packed my things did not leave me anything to keep myself entertained, I thought for what must have been the thousandth time. Especially at night when I sit up, or in some cases, lay down, in bed. I got into bed slowly and stared at the television as an infomercial came on. That's all that was ever on television at two o'clock in the morning.
I wonder how everyone is doing…I thought, looking out the window. For a second I thought about opening the window, but that thought immediately disappeared. I had no strength to get up anymore. I rested my head against the pillows. Edward promised it wouldn't be long before I was home and that was what? Two days ago? Two days is beyond long. I felt guilty for not feeling up to par with my strength; Gabriel needed me to be strong. Which I will be when I'm home! I thought defiantly.
There is a lot that I'll be when I'm home. I'll be a mother if time continues to pass by this slowly. I closed my eyes, imaging the day I would actually have Gabriel in my arms. He will be so small, a newborn baby. And he will be pink and wrinkly and crying, just the way he should be. And I will hold him in my arms until he stops crying, because that's what mothers do. They are the warmth for a child…
The warmth for a child…I thought again, closing my eyes. I felt a constriction in my chest. Since August, I have been delaying this mental conversation.
Should I change?
And as I thought about it now, since I had nothing more to do, I knew the answer.
I can't.
It would be unfair for Gabriel. He would never know a warm embrace if I changed, and beyond that, what would I be able to do? A newborn baby needs constant attention, and a newborn vampire is nothing but thirsty. A defenseless child and an extremely strong vampire don't mix.
I shuddered at the idea of me being so strange that I would take my own child's life to appease the thirst of blood. I can't imagine doing it, and I won't take the risk.
I began to cry then because I knew this was what I had to do. And I wasn't sure which was harder, making the decision, or believing that I'll actually be getting older and Edward will forever be seventeen.
I got up suddenly, the strength appearing from thin air. I went back to the bathroom and looked at my reflection. I didn't look like the Bella Cullen who just left the bathroom a few minutes ago, I looked older. Suddenly, right in front of my eyes, my hair was turning from dark brown to light brown to gray.
Gray.
"No!" I screamed, and before I could stop myself, I reached for the bottle of shampoo on the counter and threw it, watching as the mirror broke and fell apart. Then I stumbled away from the broken glass and back to the bed, crawling in and crying.
What have I done to myself? Why am I torturing myself! "It doesn't matter!" I shrieked into my pillow, pushing it against my face. "Edward will still love me; this is what he wanted in the first place! For me to grow old!" No matter how many times I screamed into my pillow, it didn't console me.
After my sobs began to subside, I pulled my damp pillow away from my face. "Gabriel needs a mother." I said this out loud. If I heard myself say it, maybe I would actually believe it. "He needs someone who can hold him when he cries, feed him when he's hungry, and sing him to sleep when he's tired. I will not give up the things my mother did for me just because I want to be happy." I felt so angry at my selfishness. A child's needs would go over mine any day of the week.
"Gabriel is the one who matters now." I sat up in my bed with the last of my strength and wrapped my arms around my stomach. "I'm so sorry Gabe," I whispered over and over again, forcing the tears to not escape. I was not going to get depressed because Gabriel needed me.
After a few shuddering breaths, I closed my eyes. They burned from the intensity of my emotions and I was tired, but I couldn't sleep. Nightmares plagued my mind, and once again, I was thrust into thoughts that pertained to my family. Why hasn't Edward come for me? I stared at my stomach. I know he cares for my safety, and for Gabriel's, but doesn't he know that I'll be safest in his arms? I shook my head slowly. Edward has the right intentions, something is probably happening at home that will make it too dangerous for me to be there.
They might even be fighting.
I froze in terror at the thought. I couldn't bare the idea that my family was fighting for me to stay alive. The Volturi were strong and ancient, they could outwit and probably outmaneuver the Cullen's, even with Alice and Edward's gifts. I couldn't get enough oxygen into my lungs as I thought about Edward being hurt. How long does it take for a seriously injured vampire to heal? What if he's dead?
Oh God! What if he's dead! I looked at my cell phone on the nightstand, and I scrambled to it. If I could at least call Edward, just to make sure he was okay, then I wouldn't need to talk to him until he got me. Just as I finished dialing his cell phone number, my conscience got a hold of me, and I slammed the phone shut.
He told me not to call him. "Then what am I supposed to do?" I spoke wildly, looking at the ceiling. "I need to know!" I moved slowly towards the edge of the bed, and tried to put my head between my knees. My breaths were ragged, and I was beginning to see double. "They're safe," I whispered, weakly, squeezing my eyes shut. "They're safe."
Even to my ears, it sounded fake.
And then the phone rang.
I almost jumped out of my skin in fright. I looked at the phone clutched in my hands; I didn't recognize this number either, so I was hesitant as I answered it. "Hello?"
"We're fine."
A whoosh of air left my mouth. "You are?" I was relieved, but a little unhappy. This wasn't the person I wanted to speak with, but Alice was close enough. At least she was honest with me.
"Yes. And I saw the other big decision you made earlier." My mind went blank for a handful of seconds, and I struggled to remember what decisions I made recently. I chose to eat cereal. I chose to take a shower… It wasn't until there was a thump against the hand that was resting against my stomach that I realized what she was talking about.
"Oh," was all I could say. The thought alone made me want to scream for having to choose once again, between what I wanted and what I needed to do. The inevitable change or my most recent choice: to stay human.
"Do what you believe is right, and don't agonize over it." Alice's voice was comforting, and I felt only slightly at ease. "Whatever you choose, you know Edward will be there." I laughed at the irony, bitterly. There was a quiet sigh over the phone and Alice said, "You know we're doing this for you, Bella. No one in this house likes it when you're away."
"Yeah, I know." Where did this bitterness come from? I could feel anger and sadness building inside of me. I hated that I was here, without Edward, and that mixed with all of my hormonal feelings had me in a whirlwind. I took a deep breath and then I whispered, "I'm sorry Alice. I shouldn't be acting this way…I just miss you and Edward…" I started to sniffle as I thought about how long I might have to endure this isolation. Most of the time, I felt like I was being ripped in half with loneliness.
There was silence for half a second, and then in a small voice, Alice said, "He doesn't know I'm calling honey, so I can't be on the phone for long."
"O-okay."
"We're fine. Stop worrying about us. I've seen the end of this—no one is dead, nor will they be." I nodded my head, my hand shaking. The worst thing about getting phone calls was saying goodbye. "I'll be seeing you soon, I promise."
"Later Alice." I mumbled, feeling as if I was saying goodbye to a dear friend forever. I was immediately reminded of the day Angela told me she was leaving, and of my reaction. I cried for what seemed like forever.
I didn't want to cry anymore.
"Oh Bella," Alice whispered. "Please keep yourself together, for just a bit longer."
"I'll try." I closed the phone and put it on the nightstand beside me. I curled onto my side and closed my eyes, hoping that the tears wouldn't fall.
xoXoXoXox
BB/N: So I retyped this! I know the chapter isn't up to par, but I was in a hurry so I could update again. Things are lookin' up for Bella, aren't they?
Thanks for the reviews, and hopefully I'll update again soon!
Love,
Bob Bennit