Title: An Answer to Fate

Author: Monti

Date: February 13, 2007

Rating: Mmm R, just to be safe

Pairing: L/K

Word Count: 2711

Category: AU

Warnings: Angst-o-rama

Spoilers: Major Speculation Fic…

Author's Note: This one's for a friend's request…not quite what she asked for…but close. (grins) Spec based on a set of the 'false' sides floating around toward the end of the season. Written before the actual finale...so not everything matches up.

AN ANSWER TO FATE

Kara sat in Isolation, an IV drip in her arm hydrating her system and replenishing essential nutrients. It had been four days since she'd had sustenance and two weeks of half rations prior to that. But she'd made it out, worse for the experience, but out.

Six months with the Cylons.

Four months of being poked, prodded, stroked, stimulated, tormented and tortured by six different Cylon models.

And for what?

A stupid 'special' destiny foretold in some ancient texts?

They'd been smart and saved Leoben for last. By the time she was taken by Centurion escort to him, she'd figured out enough to know that docile was the game of the day. Leoben, not letting Kara leave his side, spent days in the chamber with the Hybrid. So she played along, sitting with him and listened to the Hybrid drone on and on in the abstract way it had of doing.

Leoben told Kara he wanted her to listen to the words, hear them, feel them. Eventually Kara tuned out the various ramblings that were Baseship related and started picking up the musings of destiny related details. It got to a point where she almost knew what the Hybrid would say before it uttered the words. The connection was weird, somewhat intuitive, and oddly Kara didn't question it.

And it was how she discovered what the Cylons were after.

They were after her…

Literally.

She was the key.

The bridge…between life and death, Cylon and human, destiny, fate, gods, goddesses, and the one who cannot be named. It was all laid out in front of her and everything clicked into place. She held the fate of two races in her hands and neither of them knew it.

The event that landed her in the hands of the Cylons, the swirling mandala she'd entered then hurtled through, had been a piece of the puzzle…one she'd been certain would mean her death. Her guide, the Hybrid presenting itself as Leoben, had told her to let it happen. It was a new beginning and nothing to fear.

Well she didn't fear it.

Not anymore.

It was a new beginning, all her sins wiped away…a clean slate and she held the knowledge close to her heart. And when Leoben finally assumed she couldn't yet understand the Hybrid he told her it was okay. They would take some time, get reacquainted and she would come to know her heart. And realize he belonged there.

Kara played along. She talked to Leoben, told him her secrets, her fears, her insecurities,gaining his trust. For an entire month they did nothing but converse on every topic Leoben could think of…philosophy was a favorite, but he discussed poetry as well...as a concession to her. During that month Kara was free to explore the ship, with an escort, and she wandered the ever-changing landscape carefully taking it all in.

The next month saw an alteration in demeanor for the relationship. The others were impatient with the progress forcing Leoben to revise his plans. The change was subtle at first with a touch here, a caress there. By the end of the week, Kara was suspicious but continued to play along.

Another week passed before she realized the food was drugged and she only figured it out because she lost patches of time. Leoben also became more aggressive in his pursuit and Kara knew it was time to make a plan.

For the next two weeks she only ate half her food and suffered through Leoben's special brand of 'love', pretending a responsiveness that made her skin crawl. But she was allowed to move about the ship freely now, without the escort, so she endured the long, slow, numbing kisses that had her heaving what little she ate afterwards.

In the guise of quiet wandering, she mapped out a route to the docking bay. The trick to the ever-changing landscape was to ignore it and focus on what she knew. She counted steps and turns and twists for three different routes during the last week she was on board.

Then she stopped eating the food.

Her mind needed to be sharp if she was going to pull this off. After every meal, she'd excuse herself, find the closest empty head and force herself to throw it all up. She loaded up on fluids to combat the dehydration but it helped only minimally.

And all the while, she continued to feed Leoben's delusion that she'd finally be willing to accept him in her heart.

The day before her planned departure, Kara almost stumbled into a meeting between five of the seven models. Staying out of sight, she listened to their heated debate regarding the plans for her destiny.

What she overheard was vital information and it completely gutted her. Stunned, she considered leaving that very moment but knew it was impossible. On top of that, there was a deep-seated anger coiling through her belly and the need for revenge became her guiding factor.

Dining later with Leoben, she pretended the food still had her malleable as she quietly listened to him expound on the meaning of love. Without the narcotic effect of the drugs, it was difficult not to spew her rage...but she knew she'd need every scrap of strength she had for her escape.

With the meal complete, Kara excused herself, promising to return and allowing her gaze to hint at something else. The quick flash of teeth from Leoben's grin made her cringe inwardly, but she gave no hint of what was coming.

She hit the head and after expelling the contents of her stomach, Kara removed the knife she'd secreted away from it's hiding place in her boot. She palmed the blade, familiarizing herself with its weight and heft.

It was time.

Standing just inside the entrance of the space she'd grown to hate, she struck a seductive pose. When she called Leoben's name softly, he turned, face lighting up at her provocative pretense. He didn't see the knife leave her hand, didn't realize what had happened until it was sticking out of chest…his pierced heart beating the final few staccatos of life.

Walking calmly over to him, Kara loomed over his body waiting for his breathing to cease. "My heart will never accept you. Never." Yanking the knife out, she didn't take time to clean the blade as she exited the room.

Driven by rage and adrenaline, she traced one of the paths in her head, encountering no one as she made her way to a stolen Raptor. Panic hit her when she realized the bird was tied down and she cursed the fates while kicking at the cables. She sat, while tears of pain and anger pricked behind her eyelids as defeat settled over her.

Drawing in shuddering breath, she stood again…no time to rail at her own stupidity. A Centurion could patrol through at any moment and she needed to regroup. Walking around the Raptor, she tried to think of something, anything she could use to release the machine.

At wit's end, she glared at the cables, muttering. "Sure would be nice if you frakkers just fell off?" And to her shock, they did exactly that. "Frak me." She took a startled step back staring at the released coils lying loosely on the deck.

Not wasting time, she popped the release and scrambled inside. Kara didn't wait for the hatch to seal all the way before firing up the machine…timing would be crucial from this point on.

Lack of nourishment had the control panel swimming in front of her but Kara could fly in her sleep. She prayed it wouldn't come to that as her shaky hand grasped the throttle to gently ease the Raptor into flight. A group of Centurions clanked into her line of sight and for a moment Kara thought it was over. But she distinctly heard a voice in her head, the voice of the Hybrid, that told her to 'Go' so she continued onward.

Two Centurions brought out their weapons' appendages and Kara knew she was going to die. Die...and not make it back to the fleet to give them the information she had. She didn't cease flight, but her eyes slid closed and she sucked in a breath waiting for death to claim her.

Instead…the metal bullet heads exploded as she flew by them, shards of metal hitting the window as she passed through the carnage.

Once again she heard a voice echoing through her mind. "The key. The answer. True child of destiny. Go forth. Go forth. Bridge the gap." And then Kara was off the Baseship in open space and she knew she wouldn't be followed or chased. "End of line," were the last words she heard before she hit the jump coordinates and winked out of sight.

She was headed home.

Now she was here. Waiting for debriefing, knowing it would be brutal and not wanting to deal with it. But deal she would…because her information was crucial. And what she wanted would never be hers…not now.

Lee was gone.

Dead.

Not just dead.

Murdered.

The entire ship mourned him…black armbands, solemn faces. No one told her, they didn't have to.

She knew.

The catch in Dee's voice when she requested a secure line to Galactica Actual confirmed it. The look on the Admiral's face as she exited the reacquired Raptor kept her from speaking it out loud. She didn't need to say the words…they hung there between them.

He didn't embrace her and she understood why he couldn't. Because he'd lost another son and the grief was still raw and comfort wasn't welcome. She felt the same. He grasped her elbow as he guided her to sickbay and even that small amount of contact felt wrong somehow.

She was too late and her stomach clenched with the knowledge. Even now while she waited for Helo and Adama, catching snatches of conversation here and there, her mind reeled trying to think of anything but what was to come.

Because she was guilty.

She was the reason Lee was dead.

And she knew who killed him.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

After wrapping the debrief, Kara left sickbay with orders to hit the mess and get some solid food into her. She would make her way there eventually but there was something she needed to do, someone she needed to see first.

And it wouldn't wait.

Crewmembers gaped at her as if they were seeing a ghost. A quick shake of her head had them all continuing about their business. They would know soon enough where she'd been the past six months and she had things to take care of.

The pilots' quarters were jammed with people when she entered. At any other time she would have laughed her ass off at the stunned silence that greeted her not two seconds after she shut the hatch…but not today.

Nothing about today amused her.

She didn't give anyone a chance to speak…just strode across the floor to her old bunk. The curtains were drawn and light chatter could be heard behind them. Kara broke the number one rule of pilot code by grabbing the fabric and swishing it open to reveal the couple behind the dark material…au natural no less…as they scrambled for cover.

Gazing dispassionately at the sight before her, Kara's voice grated harshly when she spoke. "Hey Sammy. I'm home." She continued to stand, staring at the man she married as he tried to shield the former deck hand, Diana Seelix, from the prying eyes surrounding them.

A moment of stunned silence later, Sam finally found his voice. "Frak." Wrapping a spare blanket around himself, he swung his legs over the side of the bunk. "Kara." He tried to stand up to greet her and wondered when she made him wait, while looking at him with cold, dead eyes before finally stepping back to give him room. "What the hell happened? We thought you were dead when your Viper exploded." He had the blanket tucked around his hips and went to pull Kara into his arms. "Where were you? How did you survive?" He didn't see it coming when Kara drew back her knee then shoved it forward into his groin. Hard.

Sam dropped like a stone, pain exploding through his body. Gasping in agony, shuddering on the floor he cocked his head as much as he could to look at her. "I thought…gods, Kara it hurts…I thought you were dead." Assuming she'd done him in because of Seelix, he tried to explain through the haze of misery. "Six months. Gone six months. Didn't know. I swear." He couldn't stop it…the pain was too much. He heaved his guts right there on the floor while the entire room watched.

Kara slowly shook her head back and forth. "You are so painfully stupid." Unable to hold back, she kicked him in the ribs. Hard. "Get up and get dressed." Reaching down she grabbed his hair and lifted his head up so he could see her eyes. "We've got some things to discuss, honey." The last word was all but snarled as she let his head drop back down.

Standing straight, she faced the room of stunned pilots. "This man is a Cylon collaborator." The words were barely out of her mouth before the eruption of responses had her shouting for quiet. "Shut up…I'm not finished." Things quieted down but there was an ugly vibe edging the silence…and it was going to get uglier.

Gesturing at Sam with a flourish, she laid the rest of it out. "Colonel Tigh may have dealt the fatal blow that killed Lee…but Sam's the one who ordered his death." She had to scream for quiet again as the pilots exploded with fury. "A marine escort is coming for him in fifteen minutes…" Kara waited until Sam's pain hazed eyes met hers before saying her final words. "Make it hurt guys. Make it frakking hurt." Flicking a glance at Seelix she turned and walked across the room as the pilots closed rank behind her. She drew strength from the rage and anger that emanated from them letting it wash over her as she undogged the hatch and stepped through sealing it shut behind her. A satisfied smile settled over her features at the roar that erupted as she walked away.

She was done.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The next day, Kara stood alone pondering the last six months. Everything, everything she endured at the hands of the Cylons was worth the knowledge she now had. Two additional collaborators, both in extremely sensitive positions, had been arrested and jailed.

Her 'special destiny' sprawled before her and she would fulfill her part…as a testament to Lee. He'd been murdered because she loved him.

The Cylons needed that bond to be destroyed.

But the one thing they didn't understand was that love…real, honest, true-to-its-core love could never be killed.

And that's what she felt for Lee.

It's what she would always feel for him.

Her eyes squeezed shut. She wouldn't cry…that wasn't why she was there. Making herself open them again, she smiled the first true smile she had in days as she gazed at the sight before her.

Leave it to Lee...the man had an entire section of the Memorial wall. Pictures, mementos, a set of wings…hell...even a flight roster covered every inch of space. Her fingers traced over everything, as if by touching them she could touch him. Her eyes landed on the picture of Zak and her with Lee and tears burned again but she blinked them away when her vision blurred.

Startled out of her reverie when a hand gently squeezed her shoulder, she looked up to catch the Admiral's reflection behind her. She held his gaze in the protective glass frame that held the photo of father and sons.

They didn't speak…no words were needed. Adama's face was full of pain and sadness and Kara's lips quivered as the grief finally hit her. She turned, putting her arms around the man she considered a father because she loved both his sons. Adama's arms went slowly around her as they stood in the corridor and she finally let herself grieve.

And for the first time…so did he.

FIN