Oh dear, I haven't updated in a while have I? If it weren't for one of my friends bugging me about it I probably would procrastinated even more. Unfortunately thats what happens when I do these things, I procrastinate. I was stuck on something and wasn't sure what to do so I ignored it. That is never a smart thing to do by the way. ANYWAY, no lecturing from the lazy person. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter and you definitely won't have to wait as long for the next one.

Disclaimer: If only, if only....No, I don't own PoT.

AN: Line breaks aren't working and I'm not sure why, so I had to use stupid dotted lines. You might not be as anal as me, but if you are, sorry for this.

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How did I let that happened? How could I let that happen? Oishi had spent a good portion of the morning awake, simply staring at the ceiling and trying to prevent the tears from falling. He was so confused about everything, about his body and his emotions. That had been his first sexual experience in forever, and it had been way too intense, too fast. The confusion he'd felt for the last few weeks came crashing back into him even harder as the events of last night stubbornly tried to replay in his mind. It was as though someone were mocking him, trying to show him he was weak and he couldn't even sort out his own feelings before letting himself be swept away into something he had no idea about.

I have no idea what to do. He turned on his side, sniffling as he closed his eyes, trying to keep the tears at bay. Crying was not going to help him figure anything out and the last thing he needed was for Tezuka or Fuji to wake up and see him like this. But I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do, "I don't know what to do.."

"Syuuichiro?" Fuji opened his eyes slightly, sleepy blue eyes managing to look worried even when he had no idea what was wrong. Fuji sighed and pulled Oishi's body toward him, gently urging his head to rest on his chest. He closed his eyes as he felt the sobs shake Oishi's body, soothingly rubbing circles on his back. "Sssh, its okay, Syuuichiro."

He keeps calling me that. It was odd, but Oishi didn't feel like he even needed or wanted to complain about it, which bothered him even more. Taking a deep breath, he managed to stop the sobbing, though his body still shook and instinctively he cuddled closer to Fuji. Finally he said tiredly. "I'm scared."

"What are you afraid of." Fuji murmured, tightening his hold on Oishi's body.

"This. I don't know what I want." Oishi felt himself begin to relax in Fuji's hold, that safe feeling washing over him again as he spoke. "These weird feelings, I've never felt this before."

Fuji almost stopped rubbing Oishi's back as his heart skipped a beat. He'd been afraid that Oishi wouldn't feel anything for them, and would simply go along with it to not disappoint his friends. He hated to think that Oishi would do that, but sometimes his kindness could be taken for granted. Fuji hadn't wanted to be one of those who indulged while Oishi was unhappy. But now it seemed that Oishi was just confused, but not because he didn't like it, but because he liked it - liked them - but had never felt something like this before.

"You should be more honest with yourself." Fuji said lightly, adding. "You're surprisingly hard to figure out."

"I don't want to disappoint both of you." Oishi whispered, face heating up as he heard Fuji chuckle softly..

"You could never disappoint us, Chiro-chan, na, Kunimitsu?" Fuji raised his voice slightly, looking over Oishi's head to watch as the other man rolled over and scooted closer, resting his chin on Oishi's shoulder.

"Tezuka?" Oishi realized Tezuka had to have been awake the whole time, and had probably listened to the little exchange. Though he was grateful he wouldn't have to explain the whole thing again, the embarrassment he was gaining from being with these two seemed to be increasing whenever he was with them. Perhaps that was part of their charm? Or the reason he should stay as far away as possible.

"Hm." Was Tezuka's only reply before Oishi felt a sharp bite on his shoulder, on the opposite side from the other. Knitting his eye brows together, he tried to pull away, only to find that once again he was held inplace between the both of them. He endured the slight pain as Tezuka nipped and sucked to his satisfaction before placing a light kiss on the sore spot and simply burying his face in Oishi's neck.

"Claiming your territory, Tezuka?" Fuji's voice was greatly amused and somewhat smug.

"Our territory." Tezuka corrected calmly, one hand trailing up Fuji's arm as he began drifting off to sleep again.

Their territory. Wait, me?! Oishi groaned softly into Fuji's chest, but couldn't help but feel as though the confusion was starting to clear.

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"Oishi."

Oishi exited the bathroom, still drying his hair with his towel. He'd managed to get out of Tezuka and Fuji's embrace and take a shower and get dressed. He really hadn't freaked as much as he thought he would, perhaps he was still in shock? He wasn't sure, but he didn't really mind this feeling - he felt content. Maybe not exactly happy, but there was something about what had happened, and his talk with Fuji that had made everything less - traumtic was a strong word - something, he wasn't sure what, but this wasn't what he expected.

What he really didn't expect was for Tezuka to be waiting outside of the bathroom for him. He was leaning against the wall, arms folded over his chest and oddly wasn't looking at Oishi. Tezuka seemed very, strange and almost unsure this morning. He was usually such a direct person, even if he used few words. He looked way too tense, as though something terrible was tearing him apart. It almost scared Oishi to see him look like this.

"Good morning." Oishi murmered, not exactly Mr. Confident himself. His hand unconsciously moved to the spot on his neck.

"Oishi..Syuuchiro, I may have --" Tezuka cleared his voice, clearly uncomfortable as he raised his head to look at Oishi. "We may have went too far last night, and I wanted to apologize to you."

"Oh." Oishi blushed, now he refused to look at Tezuka. Instead he stared down the hall, as he said. "I don't really know what to say. But..its strange, but...its almost like..like I don't want you to apologize."

Tezuka blinked, looking considerably surprised, but he was still tense, almost like he couldn't believe what he just heard. I wouldn't believe it either, Oishi thought as he searched for what to say next.

"I suppose.." Oishi continued, now looking at the ceiling. His blush only seemed to intensify as he felt Tezuka's eyes trained on him, waiting and almost hopeful. "..it wasn't how I would've wanted it to go. But I'm not..angry." At you anyway.

Tezuka suddenly moved toward him and grabbed Oishi's wrist, pulling him into a tight hug. Oishi was suddenly hyper aware of Tezuka's body and his own. After last night, even a simple hug was so strange for him and even uncomfortable. But he didn't push away because he felt like Tezuka needed this. He could practically feel the guilt radiating off of the other, and Oishi knew Tezuka would kill himself with guilt if it got far enough along.

"Syuuchiro, If I ever do anything to hurt you," Oishi could feel Tezuka's arms tightening as if to affirm what he was about to say. "or make you uncomfortable, promise you will tell me."

Its a little late for the uncomfortable part. Oishi almost said, but realized it probably wasn't the best time for jokes. Instead he wrapped his arms around Tezuka and nodded.

"Say it." He heard Tezuka whisper. "Please."

"I promise." Oishi said softly as he let Tezuka hang onto him for a little longer.

It was incredibly tense and awkward when Oishi and Tezuka entered the kitchen. Fuji was cooking and there was coffee roasting, but it just felt so wrong. Every meal had been a sense of normality for them since this thing had started, this was the first time a strange feeling had entered that safe zone. And suddenly Oishi could feel everything he was clinging to suddenly falling away from him, it was both overwhelming and yet strangely acceptable.

This is what it is.

Tezuka took a seat as Fuji set a cup in front of him. Fuji turned to Oishi and flashed a smile, motioning for him to sit down, but even that was strange. Oishi could tell, he'd lived with them long enough, the smile seemed forced. He could tell that Fuji - even Fuji was afraid of his reaction. Was he being too calm? Because they were acting like he was a time bomb just waiting to go off.

I do want to think about this - but I can't do it here.

Now Fuji and Tezuka were both looking at him, as he hadn't moved since he'd gotten to the kitchen. Instead he was staring at the floor, thinking, too engrossed to notice anything.

This is what I need to do.

"I'm not hungry." Oishi looked up, giving a small smile to both Fuji and Tezuka. "I'm going out for a bit, I promise to pick something up to eat later."

Fuji made a step toward him, eyes suddenly open as he said. "Oishi--."

"Syuusuke." Tezuka touched Fuji's arm lightly before nodding to Oishi.

Oishi bit his lip, then flashed Tezuka and Fuji a smile before quickly turning away. He felt bad, leaving both of them like this, but he needed to get out of the house. It was making him uncomfortable that the both of them were so afraid. Both of them were confident people, who seemed very sure about their decision. Oishi realized that they were scared underneath all of that, and now they were anxiously awaiting his answer. It wasn't fair to not give it to them, whatever it happened to be.

I've been a fool, thinking I could stall them. I'm not coming back until I figure it out, no matter what.

He might not owe them anything, not after last night. He was within in all rights to just up and leave without another word, but that wouldn't be right. But he couldn't imagine feeling so helplessly in love with someone, but to be in love with two people had to be a major pain. He might not know if he was in love with both of them, but he did care - too much to just leave it like that. Perhaps I can understand them a bit more....

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Fuji stood near the bed, the golden sheets bundled in his arms as he stared at them, hands gripping them impossible tight. Tezuka was careful as he entered, not knowing how upset Fuji was. He had noticed it while they were eating, his boyfriend had been far too quiet and stabbed at its food like it had personally done something to him.

"He will come back, won't he?" Fuji's voice was soft, far too calm. "He wouldn't just..."

Tezuka immediately went to the other man, pulling Fuji to him, feeling the other's head drop onto his shoulder. He couldn't lie and say he wasn't thinking the exact same thing. His rational side was telling him that he trusted Oishi, to know his friend would never just leave them like that. But he couldn't squash that fear in the back of his mind, the irrational fear that took over whenever love was involved. The one that told him Oishi was gone forever because he had done something so incredibly stupid.

"No, of course not." Tezuka said, trying to reassure both of them.

"Did we do this the wrong way?" Fuji asked, his voice muffled against Tezuka's shoulder. Tezuka didn't know how to answer, but he knew he wasn't really meant to anyway. Instead he just held tighter, trying to ease his own fears. He had never heard Fuji like this before, it was frightening.

"Is it wrong to be this selfish?" Fuji asked, trying to keep his voice from shaking. "To want him back in our arms again, to distract him and keep him from really thinking about it? So he won't realize there is more out there? Is it wrong to want to keep him here and never let him out?"

..To never let the world hurt him? To make sure no one can ever take him away? To love him without guilt or fear? Tezuka continued in his head, Fuji's words exactly what he was thinking. There was something wrong with all of those things, but he couldn't judge. Not when he was thinking the same thing most of the time.

"No." Tezuka kissed the top of Fuji's head, gently massaging his back. "Not at all."

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Oi, oi, I know you guys do this already, but for everyone who has just jumped on board, don't forget to review and tell me what you think, ne? Thank you~!

Love,

Tabis