.Away From the Sun

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, I'm just a spoony Bard.

Warning!!!! Spoilers for books 1-5.

Wrote this PRE HBP and I might end up incorporating some parts of the rest of JK's story in here

Warning 2!! This is gonna be yaoi, that's boys loving boys, so if you don't like the idea of Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter snogging senseless, don't read, and piss off if ya feel the need to flame me for such.

***** This is a special chapter people!!!!!! This chapter includes POV's not found previously in this fic!!****

Chapter Twelve

Live for Today

Severus Snape's POV

My heart stopped beating as the Dark Lord turned his gaze towards me. His red eyes glinting maliciously as he smiled, no, not really a smile, but a twisted effigy of what a smile should be.

"Long have I doubted you Severus. And now, my most loyal of followers, my right hand, tells me you have betrayed us all. Tell me Lucius, what proof do you have against Severus?" His narrow, reddened eyes never left me.

"My Lord, Miss Parkinson reports to me that she stumbled across Snape speaking with none other than Harry Potter about upcoming plans of yours." Lucius bowed gracefully, regardless of how little attention Voldemort was paying him.

I silently cursed. With Pansy being Lucius's informant Draco will be punished for being unable to point me out himself.

"And Severus, have you anything to say in your defense? Dare you deny the accusations against you?" The twisted effigy of a smile hadn't left his face and I slipped my hand into my robes.

Show me the road and I will find my own
You build your bridges and I'll burn em down
So far away and all alone I roam
I'll take my chances in the here and now

I bowed, hand still searching the inside of my robes for the secret I'd kept hidden there. I only needed a few more seconds. "My Lord, do you believe that I would betray you after all you have done for me?" My fingers closed around the small item, my salvation from this place, the small skeleton key turned portkey that was my escape.

"Ah but Severus, I also do not believe that Malfoy has the audacity to lie to me either. Certainly not when he knows his own son is now in question of loyalty for failing to pass this information himself." The Dark Lord's twisted smile faded. He raised his wand, directing it towards me.

'My lord, if I may?" Draco's voice echoed through the chamber as he stepped forward and removed his mask. Voldemort paused, turning his head to the direction of my godson.

What foolishness does Draco have planned? Surely he doesn't think-

"You may speak young Malfoy."


And all you wonder is who's for sale, well you wont know now and I won't tell
you're always hiding throwing up your hands
while heroes ride again

"I have, perhaps, another explanation to this announcement. No doubt that Pansy did tell my father she saw Severus speaking with Potter. However, I should also inform you that Potter has been usually-persistant- in attempting to force Severus to reveal something to confirm his suspicions concerning the direction of his loyalties. I believe that Parkinson mistook what she overheard. Combine that with the fact she is still angry with me for having broken up with her, knowing that if Severus were a traitor that *I* would be the one punished for his lies." Draco sneered. "And if it is not too presumptuous of me to say so My Lord, you are far too intelligent to have allowed him to stay in your services if you believed your doubts had any merit to them."

Voldemort laughed, I loosened the death grip I had placed on my portkey.

"You make a valid point young Malfoy. Come here." The soft command was not ignored and Draco made his way to stand beside me in front of the Dark Lord. "Severus."

"Yes My Lord?"


And god only knows all the places I've been
But I love this life that I'm living in
I wont look back to regret yesterday
we're not handed tomorrow so I'll live for today

I was, for once, grateful for the stifling back robes. They hid the tremble I knew must have overtaken me.

"Severus I wish for you to punish Malfoy senior for making allegations against you he cannot prove." Voldemort turned to Lucius. "You will give me your wand so that you cannot retaliate."

I released a breath I had not been aware I'd been holding. "My Lord, I thank you." I bowed deeply, withdrew my wand and raised it to Lucius.

"Crucio!" Malfoy's screams danced off the walls, making their volume increase ten fold. Draco had still not moved from his spot beside me, not even glancing at his father who writhed in pain on the floor.

Voldemort had noticed this. "Draco." His said his name as if it were a fine wine rolling over his tongue that he wanted to savor. "Draco, does it not bother you that your father is being punished?"

Draco looked mildly surprised. "My Lord?"

"Are you not upset that your father is in pain?" Voldemort almost looked concerned.

"My lord, if my father had checked to see if his information was correct before bringing accusations to you, then he would not be being punished. It is his own fault for displeasing you."

"Or perhaps young Malfoy this is your vengeance for his discretion involved in your initiation? As unprepared as you were for our time alone together I gathered he had not told you. It is not often that my followers come to me untouched." As focused as I was on my torture of Lucius, trading the Cruciatus curse for Intesti Flagrante * I could not see the expression on the Dark Lord's face.

"No My Lord, I had not been told. Nor do I regret it. If it pleases you to take your servants in such a manner to prove their subservience then that is what you must do." The boy was far to cavalier in the mention of his rape to my liking and I switched curses on his father again, this time to a rather nasty one that caused blisters to swell and then pop, heal over, and swell again in some of the most uncomfortable places.

Voldemort stood. "Severus, you may stop." I lowered my wand as the Dark Lord made his way towards Lucius to examine the damage I had inflicted. "Always so careful Severus, not to leave any permanent damage, yet exceedingly effective in proving your point." He glanced sharply over his shoulder at a few of the gathered. "Thomas, take Lucius away and take care of his injuries. We cannot have him returning to his home is such disarray." Almost gliding he made his way returning to where Draco and I stood. He reached out one long, pale hand and caressed Draco's cheek. Proudly I must say that Draco did not turn away from it, instead he almost leaned into it, as if savoring this kind gesture. "Severus, you also neglected to inform young Malfoy what was expected of him, did you not?"

"I admit that it did not cross my mind." I bowed, as if in shame. Truth be told the shame was there. I had neglected to tell him, not simply because I hadn't thought to, but also because of the true humiliation I suffered during my own initiation.

"Perhaps you were jealous Severus? To this day, not only were you the first to come to me truly untouched, but you have also been the only to *enjoy* yourself." His hand dropped from Draco's face as he turned towards me. "Tell me Severus, has there ever been anyone else?"

Oh how I wished for the suffocating Chinese theater mask as my face flamed. "No, My lord, there has been no one."

"I thought not." He whirled away, back to his chair. Reaching behind he produced a silver bowl, runic spell I could not read covering the outside, and a white handles ritual knife. "Step forward Severus."

I walked three paces, stopped, and bowed again.

"So formal! I do enjoy formality, and you, you have such niceties down to an art do you not?" This question was a rhetorical one. I learned long ago when a question was one to be answered and when it was not a question but an observation. Though I was glad for the distance between my godson and myself. I do not think I could stand it if waves of either silent pity or disgust were directed at me for the sordid details of mine own initiation eve.

"Remove your robes Severus." He chucked, "And as you do, tell me why in all these years you have not taken a lover?"

Buttons, so many buttons. I suddenly wished there were less of them on my robes, my coat, my vest, my shirt.

"My Lord, I have not taken a lover for many reasons. One being that I spend a majority of the year in a castle with naught but children and wizards much older than myself. Another being that I have not found anyone who could possibly live to my standards. Yet another, my Lord is that who has ever wanted to so much as touch me? I am no beauty by any standards." I let my own bitterness resound in my last statement. Finally the last button was undone and I stood bare-chested before Voldemort and the other Death Eaters gathered at this particular meeting.

"No beauty? Ah, Severus, you are sadly mistaken. Shall I tell you what I see?" Voldemort placed the bowl back down at the foot of his chair and swept towards me. "Alabaster skin, so pale the moon herself should be jealous. Raven hair, it would be as fine as silk threads if it were not for your work in potions. Liquid onyx eyes, black fathomless depths one could lose themselves in for all eternity. "Fingers beneath my chin, forcing my gaze towards the mutated face that once was a handsome man. "Your skin is soft, smooth, flawless." His fingers traced over my cheekbones, down my long nose. "Even your nose is beautiful Severus. Dignified, elegant." Those same fingers traveled down the length of my neck, across my shoulders, down my chest. The scars that littered the flesh there, silvery white against a pale background. Scars from battle. A hex scar across my chest, the length of it starting mid-breast on my right side, narrowing to a tiny line just short of my left nipple, a knife scar between my fourth and fifth rib on my left. "Even your flaws, symbols of your service to me, are beautiful. I am about to add to your collection Severus. Step to my seat." Those same long, cold fingers found their purchase on my lower back and half pushed me to the throne like chair standing head of the room. "Kneel Severus. Raise your arms, palms up."

Hopelessness took me. My emergency portkey was in the pockets of my robes, now puddles near Draco's feet. I could do naught but obey.


Another day and yet another's done spending a life living with in the past
I'll take the chance before the chance has gone
You never know when it'll be your last

Voldemort began speaking in Gaelic, words I did not understand. The silver blade of the knife came swooping down, slicing open my upturned wrists. I watched, almost mesmerized and blood first beaded on the wounds, then gathered and streamed down my arms in tiny rivers, pooling in the crooks of my elbows before dripping off into the gleaming silver bowl beneath.

Seconds seemed like hours, and only after my vision bean to blur and only the sheer force of my will kept me upright did Voldemort wrap cloths around my wrists, allowing Draco to catch me as I tumbled.

"Take him back to his gilded cage young Malfoy. I will call both of you again soon." Words, barely registered as a dismissal, echoed in my brain. I felt my robes being wrapped around me, the thickness from the wool chasing away some of the chill that had settled into my flesh. I regarded the sensation of being half carried, half dragged back to the apparition point as a dream shortly before blackness overtook me.

Dumbledore's POV

I was still awake when Harry and his friends came crashing into my office.

"Professor! I have-"

I held my hand up. "Harry, it is not necessary to shout."

The young man before me blushed. "Sorry. But it *is* important."

I nodded, gathering mugs for tea. "Continue."

"I had-a-a well I guess you could call it a vision. Of Voldemort."

My attention fully captured I set the kettle on the hearth. Looking at him sharply I frowned. Severus has been working diligently with the boy for over a year now; he himself had assured me that Harry's Occlumency was incredibly powerful. "You were not Occluding?"

He frowned. "No I was. It came through anyway. More like he was projecting. Like he wanted me to know. But sir, that's not the important part. Voldemort knows about Sev-Snape."

I shook my head. This was something I'd been expecting. It seemed that now Voldemort was aware of the connection to Harry, he was attempting to exploit it in his favor. Should we run to Severus's rescue, his accusations would be confirmed. However, if the projection was unintentional, leaving the situation alone could very well end up in the death of a man who has become very dear to my heart.

"Sir?" my thoughts were interrupted by Hermione's timid injection. "Sir what do you want us to do?"


But still you wonder who's for sale, well you wont know now and I wont tell
Your always hiding throwing up your hands
While heroes ride again

I thought, the possibilities were few, and only one truly seemed to make any sense. "Harry." I tested the name on my tongue. "Yes, Harry, I have an idea." I turned back towards the tea kettle, now warm form the fire. While I poured apple tea for each of us, placing a few drops of Calming Draught in the cup I would offer to Harry, I let the infant idea become mature as I talked it out. "Severus tells me you have become an excellent Occlumens. So much that he has begun to teach you Legillimacy. Do you think-" I turned, placing the drugged cup deliberately into the hands of my young protégé, handing his two companions their own cups, frowning slightly when I noticed that Hermione seemed to be wearing on of Ron's sweaters- "Do you think that you could Occlude and Legilimate at the same time?"

Harry blinked. "I don't know sir; I've never tried it before. I suppose I could try."

I smiled in encouragement. "Use me then, as your test subject. Only, my theory requires something a bit more difficult. Allow me to step into the other room."

"But sir!" Ron jumped to his feet. "Doesn't Legillimacy require eye contact? If Harry can't see you then-"

"I am quite aware of what the skill requires Mr. Weasley. And though you are correct in normal circumstances, when subjects have had any relationship between them, a bond, for example, a grandfatherly figure? then visual contact Is not always necessary." I smirked, the smirk Severus refers to as twinkling.

"Oh." Snippets of the whispers between the three comrades reminded me that these were no longer children who would simply do as I asked because I asked.

"If he's thinking what I think he is-"

"Yes it's dangerous but-"

"I'm not even sure if it will work-"

"If it does though-"

Heads turned my direction. "I'll try it sir."

I let loose breath I hadn't been aware I was holding. "Very well. When I have closed the door behind me, you may begin." I left the room, entering the hallway between my personal quarters and my office, the door snicking shut behind me. Dredging up memories of Harry's parents and locking away any other thoughts I waited. Minutes passed; from the other room I could hear a hushed voice. I couldn't distinguish the words. But the voice was Harry's. I opened the door and walked back into the room

"Good Merlin that's creepy!" Harry shook his head. "A warning you were coming back in might've been nice."

"Harry! It really worked!" Hermione hugged him.

Rising my eyebrows I watched them. Ron gaped at his friend; Hermione was beside herself with excitement. "Harry I think I know what Dumbledore was trying to get at when he made the suggestion. I mean if it really works then you can actually find out exactly what Voldemort's doing right now! We'll know for sure if Snape's in trouble!"

Harry turned to his friend, picked up his tea and took a long drink. He turned back to me. "I think it worked sir. I knew you were thinking about my parents, but I also knew you were waiting. I could hear that you heard me telling Ron and Hermione everything I saw, but that you couldn't' quite hear what I was saying, and when you walked back into the room I actually saw myself sitting here." He took another drink. "And I know you drugged my tea with Calming Draught."

His grin forced a chuckle from me. "I did. And when you are ready Harry, I would like for you to try to do the same thing to Lord Voldemort." My words were grave, carrying, I hoped, the severity of what I requested from him.

And god only knows all the places I've been
But I love this life that I'm living in
I wont look back to regret yesterday
Were not handed tomorrow so I'll live for today

Harry nodded, drew in a deep breath and closed his eyes.

"Perhaps you were jealous Severus? To this day, not only were you the first to come to me truly untouched, but you have also been the only to *enjoy* yourself. Tell me Severus, has there ever been anyone else?" The voice issuing from Harry's lips reminiscent of the voice that occurred when Sybil gave prophecy.

"I thought not. Step forward Severus."

"So formal! I do enjoy formality, and you, you have such niceties down to an art do you not ? Remove your robes Severus, and as you do, tell me why in all these years you have not taken a lover?"

Pauses between words made me believe that there were actions taking place between, or even answers to the questions posed.

"No beauty? Ah, Severus, you are sadly mistaken. Shall I tell you what I see? Alabaster skin, so pale the moon herself should be jealous. Raven hair, it would be as fine as silk threads if it were not for your work in potions. Liquid onyx eyes, black fathomless depths one could lose themselves in for all eternity. Your skin is soft, smooth, flawless. even your nose is beautiful Severus. Dignified, elegant. Even your flaws, symbols of your service to me, are beautiful. I am about to add to your collection Severus. Step to my seat. Kneel Severus. Raise your arms, palms up."

The words that poured forth next made me jerk forward in my chair. Ancient Gaelic, the beginning part of a spell. A spell to break powerful wards. Wards such as the ones that protected the school. I did not hear the rest of Harry's ramble. Catching only snippets of the end before the effort became to great for him and he passed out. "Return him to his gilded cage…."

I sat stunned as Ron revived his friend. Harry's eyes bloodshot, his hands trembling he reached for his tea again. He glanced into his mug and set it aside.

"Sir, if you would, can I forgo the tea and just have the calming draught?" Even his voice shook.

I nodded, reaching into my desk for the vial. He downed it quickly; closing his eyes at it took effect.

"Ron, Hermione, I need you to do two things."

"Anything mate." Hermione nodded her agreement.

I watched this exchange with interest. It seemed Harry had already decided on a course of action and I was curious to see what it might be.

"I'm going to assume that Hermione is nodding… I can almost hear her head rattling." Harry's attempt to lighten the mood worked. Both his companions broke into sheepish smiles as he opened his eyes.

"First, everything I said, when I was in Voldemort's head, and I mean everything, is not ever, ever, ever to be repeated. The things Voldemort said about Severus are very personal and he does not need to know that we know. Promise me." He looked hard at them, Ron especially.

"I promise.' In perfect unison.

"I mean it Ron, when he's being an utter bastard to you tomorrow in class, you cannot and I mean it CANNOT throw ANY of this back at him. It would tear him apart."

'I know. I won't. I promise." Ron looked mildly hurt that his friend would make such an accusation to him, and I wondered why Harry felt the need to point it out extra to him.

"Harry, the second thing?" Hermione grabbed Ron's hand so hard her knuckles turned white and her boyfriend winced.

"Two," Harry stood, "Two would be that once Draco is out of range from Voldemort and can apparate he'll be bringing Severus to Hogsmead. Assuming he knows about it, Rosmerta used to have a Floo open to Dumbledore's office, to here. He'll be bringing Snape here. I need you to go to his office; behind his desk is a cabinet full of healing potions. We'll need as many as you can carry and see if he has any blood replenishing potions in there as well. Get him a clean change of clothes; his quarters are behind his office-"Harry continued to issue instructions, including how to get into Severus's quarters. Pride swelled in me. This young man had grown up immensely in the past two years. And though proud of him I am, it makes me a little sad to know the reasons behind his maturity are grim, desperate and wreaked with despair.


We'll know when we run out of time until its all over with
And there'll be no where to run
We'll never say it but we're over out heads and we're drowning inside with all the things we've said

When his friends had gone, racing down the corridors to the dungeons, haphazardly wrapped in Harry's father's invisibility cloak, he turned to me.

"Headmaster-"

I stopped him, holding up my hand, "Tonight Harry, I'm simply Albus, another General in this war."

He half smiled, accepting oddly phrased praise. "Normally I wouldn't impose on your office like this but can you transfigure the chairs into a couch while I work on some blankets?"

"Of course Harry." As we set to work he began asking questions.

"How'd you know the Legillimacy thing would work?"

"A theory. You see you can see into Voldemort's mind when he is not focused on blocking you out. He can send you false visions. I believe it works the other way around as well, that you may sometimes send him thoughts without knowing. You are linked through your scar, and you do have a rather personal relationship with him. He killed your parents, and on a number of times has attempted to kill you. A positive relationship, I think not, nevertheless, a personal one. Therefore it would deem that you should be able to step into his mind should you put forth the effort to do so. Occluding while you do so is simply a precaution to ensure he doesn't know you are there."

Once we had the room set up as an impromptu infirmary I turned to Harry. "Now there are a few questions I must ask you." Harry nodded.

"I'll answer best I can."

"Did Voldemort have a silver bowl, one with possibly runic symbols cast over it?"

"Yeah, he had that, and a knife. He sliced open Snape's writs; put the blood in the bowl."

"Did Severus resist in any way?"

"No. Should he have? I mean I know that Voldemort needed the blood to be given freely to him. He wasn't thinking about what it was for-"

"It is for breaking the wards on the school."

Eyes wide, he opened his mouth to say something else but at that moment the fire in the fireplace spun green, tiny sparks emitting from it. Draco Malfoy's voice coming in over the flames.

"I need help! I can't get him myself!"

I nodded to Harry. He jumped to his feet and stepped into the fireplace. Moments later, both Harry and Draco stepped through the grate, cradling between them the unconscious body of Severus Snape.

"He's lost a lot of blood."

"We know." Harry helped Draco guide Severus to the newly transfigured couch.

"How?"

"Later Mr. Malfoy. For now let's focus on the matter at hand." I looked down at the pale figure on my couch. Blood leaked form around his shirt and coat, which had been used as makeshift bandages to stem the flow of blood.

"I've tried everything I know, they won't stop. He needs-"

The door burst again, Hermione and Ron, Cloak draped over an arm, laden with vials streamed into the room. They unloaded potions on my desk.

"We got everything we could carry. He keeps quite a pharmacy in there." Hermione picked up a blue vial, throwing it to Harry. He uncorked it.

"Draco lift his head. We need to get him to drink this." The blonde man, shaking, lifted his godfather's shoulders, sliding himself beneath to give proper leverage. "Open his mouth; once I get this in him I need you to work his throat. 'Mione, blood replenishing next, and if there happens to be a numbing potion in there that'd be great."

The four of them worked quickly. It was once they got the wounds on Severus's wrists to stop bleeding Harry turned to me. "Albus, some more of that tea would be great." He glanced at his mug meaningfully. His thoughts clear as a bell. Calming Draught.

Bleeding stopped, Harry and Draco set to stripping Severus down, keeping his modesty by wrapping him in a blanket while Hermione heated some water to wash the blood from his skin. Ron went through every pocket on Snape's robes, pants, jacket, vest and shirt, removing personal items, and anything else that might be in his pockets, placing them neatly on my desk.

Once cleaned, Hermione never blushing at washing down her mostly nude professor, Ron conjured some bandages and began to gently wrap them around Severus's wrists while Harry and Draco began to dress him in his nightclothes.

I felt useless. Watching them work with such efficiency renewed my argument with Minerva that these were no longer children. But by realizing this, I have more faith in the militia named Dumbledore's Army in honor of myself. If I can judge by the efficiency of just a few of their leaders, the rest of them will be quite a force to be reckoned with.

Merlin only knows how much longer we have before the day of reckoning is upon us.

And god only knows all the places I've been
But I love this life that I'm living in
I wont look back to regret yesterday
Were not handed tomorrow so I'll live for today

* Intesti Flagrante- Another curse I made up. It burns your insides.