Someday Never Comes

Chapter Two

Dean held his breath, his eyes darting in the darkness as once again, the wind whispered across the open space between the small cabin and the lake. He swallowed and brought a hand up to his eyes, rubbing them in an attempt to alleviate the dull burn that had taken up residence since they'd left Illinois and the djinn behind.

Great. He was imagining things now.

He was so tired.

He had tried to sleep in the car, nodding off to the comforting sound of the Impala's engine, only to wake again as the memories of the other life haunted him. He couldn't get his mother's face out of his head. Her hair, her smile, her eyes… beseeching him to stay with her, to simply reach out and take what he'd longed for all his life.

It had all been right there.

And all he would have had to do was accept it.

But that wasn't something he could do. All those people… all those innocent lives they had saved – he had saved… he couldn't sacrifice them for his own longing. He couldn't trade their lives for the desire to have the one thing he'd never been allowed. Contentment.

It had never been his.

And it never would be.

He knew Sam had always believed that normal was possible. That someday they would fulfill their quest and a real life filled with happiness and contentment would be a possibility. But Dean had always known better. From the time his father had placed little Sammy in his arms and told him to take care of his brother, Dean had known.

Nothing would ever be okay again. His life, his very existence, had changed at that moment and nothing would ever be able to change that fact.

Dean had always known that Sammy's 'someday' would never come. Even when his brother exchanged their life for another at Stanford, Dean knew. He'd never said anything to destroy his brother's dreams. He'd watched him walk out the door without so much as a glance back over his shoulder and he'd known without a doubt that Sam would be back. There was no escaping who they were – what they were.

Dean had never asked for this life, but it was his and he had vowed long ago to make everyday count. So he hunted and he saved people and he took care of his brother and his father. He made the best life he could. He almost believed it was a good life.

Then the djinn had ripped the façade to shreds.

He ran a hand down his face, closing his eyes against the glow of the night sky reflecting off the dark water. A sudden breeze made him shiver and he grasped the comforter and pulled it tighter around his shoulders, lowering his head slowly as the fatigue began to settle him.

"They're gone…"

Dean's eyes snapped open, his breath still in his chest as his senses came to full alert.

No way in hell he'd imagined that.

His eyes roamed out across the dark water of the lake, watching as a slow mist began to roll across the waves toward the shore. He squinted into the darkness, following the mesmerizing ebb and tide of the silvery mist as the tendrils began to creep closer to the small dock at the end of the path.

Dean let the comforter drop from his shoulders and silently made his way down the wooden steps in front of the porch. His eyes glued to the shifting fog, he wasn't aware he had moved until he found himself on the edge of the dock, the strong scent of the lake enveloping his senses.

"Help me find them…"

Dean stepped to the edge of the wooden dock, unconcerned with the slight sway of the structure against the strengthening waves.

"Please, Dean…. help me…."

The voice called to him, echoing in his head, mixing with his exhaustion, his dreams, his all to recent brush with desire…

"Mom?' Dean's voice was barely a whisper as he reached out to the shape he could almost see inside the swirling mist. "Mom?"

He stepped toward the figure, his foot meeting nothing but air as he extended past the edge of the dock. The air expelled from his lungs in a cry of shock as he hit the cold water, the silvery mist quickly surrounding him.

Snsnsnsnsnsnsnsnsnsnsnsnsnsnsn

Sam rolled to his side, his eyes parting slightly. It took only a moment for the sight of the empty bed before him to register, setting off the alarms in his head that quickly made their way to his body.

He bolted to a sitting position, his eyes swiftly surveying the darkened cabin. His heartbeat notched up at what he saw – or, more accurately, what he didn't see.

His brother.

The same brother he'd barely been able to rouse to get him into the cabin, partially undressed and under the warm down comforter less than three hours ago.

The same brother who had appeared dead to the world, still shocky after his encounter with the djinn less than 24 hours ago.

The same brother he was gonna knock on his ass for scaring him over and over again.

In all fairness, he knew Dean was hurting right now and not exactly firing on all cylinders. And he was more upset with himself for succumbing to his own exhaustion and not keeping an eye on his brother than Dean for acting like… well.. Dean.

Tossing the blanket aside, he slipped into his sneakers, glad he hadn't bothered to undress before dropping into bed hours before. He made his way to the front door of the cabin and slowly pulled it open, his eyes drawn to the comforter abandoned on the porch. He leaned forward and snagged the bedding with one long arm then stepped to the edge of the rail, his eyes scanning the yard in front of the cabin.

He sighed in relief as he recognized the dark form at the edge of the dock. The moonlight was bright enough to allow him to see that Dean hadn't bothered to put a shirt on and Sam was about to call out and chastise his idiot older brother for wandering in the cool night air after losing a good portion of his body's blood when the words stuck in his throat. His attention seemingly intent on something out in the darkened lake, Dean lifted a foot and stepped off the dock, falling into the cold water with a faint splash.

Sam was off the porch and running for the dock before the warning could leave his mouth.

"Dean!"

Within seconds, Sam's long legs hit the edge of the dock, shaking the wooden structure as he pounded across and hurled himself into the dark lake. Sputtering, he surfaced, treading water as he turned in circles, frantically looking for his brother.

"Dean!"

The mist that had been covering the surface of the water began to recede and Sam heard a sudden splash nearby. Turning toward the sound, he squinted through the dark, his eyes locking on his brother as the older man broke the surface, dragging in a ragged breath between hoarse coughs.

"Dean!" Sam swam, covering the distance quickly with strong strokes of his long arms. He reached out and grabbed Dean's struggling form, just as he was about to go back under. Placing an arm across his brother's chest. Sam began to swim back toward the shore, his legs kicking against the water as his free arm dragged them closer to safety. As soon as he could feel solid ground beneath him, he turned and placed both arms around his brother, staggering backward until they both lay on the grassy shore.

After a few moments of panting to catch his breath, Sam struggled out from beneath Dean's inert form, carefully laying his brother down against the grass. Dean's eyes were squeezed tightly closed and his lips and skin were dusky in the faint moonlight, his body shivering violently in the cool night air.

"Damnit, Dean," Sam mumbled, quickly checking his brother for any sign of injury. "What the hell did you think you were doing?" Without waiting for a response, the younger man launched himself back toward the porch, snagging the thick dry comforter that he'd abandoned when he'd realized what his brother was about to do. Within seconds, he was back at the water's edge, wrapping the blanket around Dean's shivering form. He pulled the prone man forward, wrapping his own arms around him in an attempt to ward off the shivering tremors that wracked his body.

"S'mmy?"

Dean's voice was barely a whisper, his breath coming in short gasps as he braced against his body's shuddering.

"Hey, Dean," Sam pulled away for a moment, looking at his brother's face, relieved to see his eyes open to half mast. "Hey, you with me, man?"

"Huh?" Dean shivered again, his eyes drooping closed as Sam pulled him back against his own body. "C-cold."

"I bet. What the hell, Dean? What were you doing out there?"

"Sh-she – need'd h-h'lp."

Sam frowned but continued to rub his brother's back, trying to work warmth back into his chilled body. "Who?" he asked. "Dean, who needed help?"

Sam's hands stilled at his brother's whispered answered.

"Mom."

Holding his brother close, Sam swallowed hard, his eyes closing as he ducked his cheek against his brother's head. Whatever Dean had seen – if he'd seen anything at all -- Sam knew it wasn't their mother. But, after how badly the djinn had screwed with Dean's sense of equilibrium, Sam couldn't bring himself to dismiss the belief right then. The memories of the alternate world were still fresh in Dean's mind and he knew his brother was having a hard time accepting that they were all simply a figment of his imagination.

He'd wanted them to be real – Dean had admitted that much. And now, exhausted with his reserves low and his natural defenses shredded, Sam knew that Dean was in no shape to discern what was truly real and what could never be. Sam tightened his hold and swore silently, wishing like hell that whatever powers ruled the damn universe would stop tormenting his brother and just leave him the fuck alone for a little while.

TBC