Beautiful Mistake Chapter Four
Old Friend
The train ride was slow, and Chloe waited patiently in a compartment alone for the train to arrive at Hogwarts. Lily was off doing her Head duties with James, where as the other girls had long since disappeared saying something about getting food from the trolley. She knew they were just making an excuse to get away from her. She had been nothing but a sour-puss since the train ride had started. It was mainly due to the growing anxiety with in her stomach, as she thought about having to face Sirius again, and worst of all Remus Lupin.
On other occasions, before the chaos of getting pregnant, she would have liked talking or seeing Remus Lupin. He was in fact, the reason she had started dating Sirius.
She had known Remus since she was two years old, when his family moved down the street from her. They had grown up together until Remus mysteriously moved away. Of course, at the time Chloe knew nothing of Remus' 'furry little problem', as she remembered James liked to call it. But when they had met again at Hogwarts, it was like old times. He was her only true friend. He was the only one that knew anything about Ryan, though she had never confirmed any of his suspicions. But she knew for sure that Remus was smart enough to put two and two together. That was why they hadn't spoken since. She remembered the last night they had spoken very well, and it carried a painful scar.
Chloe looked around the usual meeting spot in the library where she and Remus had done their homework together since their first year. She hadn't come here since the break-up with Sirius, since everything had started. She was almost four months pregnant by than, and was amazed at how well she had managed to hide it from everyone. Well, almost everyone.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Remus asked darkly, stepping from the shadows.
"Tell you what, Remus?" Chloe shaked as she spoke. She knew he wasn't going to pretend everything was fine anymore. "There's nothing to tell you, so stop this right now." She forced herself to say.
Remus shook his head, disappointed. "You can't hide it from me, if there's one thing I know, it's you. And I know from looking at you that your," he paused as if he couldn't say it. "I know you're pregnant." He swollowed hard, a frown forming on his face.
The silence rang about for an eternity. The two stood still, staring at the other waiting for something to happen. Chloe felt the tears running down her face, and she quickly wiped them away not wanting to look so vulnerable. She looked in her friend's eye, and he knew he was right. He knew she was pregnant.
"Don't ever say that again." Chloe choked, and ran from the library as quickly as her legs would carry her.
The next morning Chloe had been gone; on the train she had sat with her sister and her friends, not wanting to face the others. It was how it had to be. A clean break.
Chloe closed her eyes tightly, as she felt a headache grow just above her left eye. The stress was getting to her, and she wasn't sure how long she would be able to take it. She was starting to regret ever returning to Hogwarts.
"What's wrong with you?"
Chloe's eyes snapped open, and she slowly shook her head at her sister who stood in the compartment door frame. She hadn't heard the compartment door open. "Nothing is wrong; I'm just getting a headache, that's all." She half-smiled at her sister. "Why aren't you off with your friends?"
Danielle shrugged, and sat across from Chloe. "Well, they were rather boring when all I could think of was how you were doing."
Chloe rolled her eyes. "There you go, being all dramatic. I'm the older one; I'm supposed to be worried about you, not the other way around."
Danielle shook her head in dismay. "Would you rather me not care?"
Chloe didn't answer, only turned to look out the window. "I haven't seen any of them yet; not Remus nor Sirius. I'm sure the news of my return has been spread around, I wouldn't be surprised if not by some of my 'friends'. I can already hear Kathy giggling about it." Chloe confessed, looking back at her sister.
"Yes, well, Kathy has never been one to be able to hold her tongue."
The new voice startled both Chloe and Danielle. Both of their heads snapped to the compartment door frame, where the door had been left half open. There, stood a tall boy with light sandy brown hair, and twinkling brown eyes, age lines already forming on his young face.
"Remus," Chloe managed to say breathlessly.
"Chloe," he responded a little more formally than she had. "I see you are well." He said shortly, and stepped into the compartment, closing the door behind him.
Chloe noticed the formal tone in his voice, and she felt with a pang in her chest that he was still obliviously upset of their predicament. She looked to him apologetically, frowning. She knew this was her fault. She knew there was no reason to try and pretend everything was all right, just like that night over a year ago. He knew everything, and she couldn't hide it any longer. She could be truthful.
"I am so sorry Remus; I should have just told you the truth that night." Chloe burst out, and looked a little unsurely at Remus. "But you have to understand, I was afraid you would go tell Sirius, and I couldn't have that. I did not want someone who didn't love me to pretend to be my child's father. If he can't have two loving parents, he would at least have one." She finished rather awkwardly. She could see Danielle squirm in her seat, probably wishing she had not chosen to come visit her sister. "Can you understand that?" she asked quietly.
Remus' expression did not change; instead he took a seat next to Danielle, and looked out the window, just as Chloe had a few moments before. "I know, and I understand. I just wish you would have told me; you should tell Sirius, he and your child deserve that much." He finished looking pointedly at Chloe.
Chloe didn't shrink back like she would have years ago. Instead she sat up straight, and put her most convincing face on as possible. "Do not even think for one moment that you can tell me what is best for my child. As his mother I have every right to keep the identity of his father from him. It is also my choice whether I tell Sirius or not about Ryan, and at the moment I've decided it is not the best idea for any one." She finished, taking a deep breath and hoping she had made her point.
Remus just stared. "His name is Ryan?" he said softly, thoughtful.
Chloe softened immediately as she realized that this was her friend, not her enemy. He was her best friend who had been there through everything, even after she had decided to leave Sirius. He had been loyal to her no matter how good of friends he became with Sirius and James. She realized now that Remus had not been trying to force her to tell Sirius about Ryan for Sirius' sake, but for her own.
Tears prickled in Chloe's eyes as she nodded yes. "Ryan Edward Black." She told him.
"You gave him Sirius' name?" Remus asked, his voice still soft.
"I don't really know what made me do it, but yes, I did." Chloe admitted.
"Wow," was his response.
They sat silent for a few minutes, and Chloe wiped her tears away gaining control again. Chloe watched as Remus seemed to take in the information, her sister fidgeting in the corner. Breaking the silence Danielle stood up, and said good bye and left the compartment. Alone Chloe thought it was best to ask the question that had been on her mind since Remus entered.
"I want you to be his godfather." Chloe said just above a whisper.
Remus turned to look at Chloe, shock written all over his face. "You want me to be what?"
Chloe rolled her eyes. "Stop acting so daft, it's very unlike you."
Remus chuckled lightly. "Yes, well I just wasn't expecting something like that. It's not every day you're asked to be someone's Godfather."
"Well are you going to do or not?" Chloe asked.
Remus smiled. "Sure, it would be an honor."
Chloe burst out laughing. "You are such a moron!" she laughed. She knew he had been joking when he said it, and he laughed along with her.
"You never changed." Remus mumbled, "Still calling me a moron." Remus smirked. "And daft, now that I think of it." He added smirking even more.
"Well someone has too." Chloe joked.
Remus snorted lightly, and looked out the compartment door. "I should probably be getting back, I told Sirius I would be gone for only a few minutes, so he's probably already off doing something he shouldn't."
Chloe gave a small smile. "Yes, well, as Prefect it's your duty to stop it." She said. She knew that he really wasn't leaving to stop Sirius from ding anything he shouldn't, he never does. She knew it was time for him to leave, for him to go back to his friends and pretend that he had never spoken to Chloe Roberts.
But the comment about Sirius had reminded Chloe of the things she had loved about Sirius. How he had always loved taking risks, and had never been shy to say things that were stupid or silly around her or anyone. She thought of when ever he had smiled, he made her smile too even when she was mad or sad. He had always been so charming and kind to her when they were alone, in their peaceful moments together. Chloe quickly closed her eyes for a moment to clear her head of those thoughts, and opened them to see Remus frowning at her.
"I think…" Remus started. Chloe knew what he was about to say, and that he was afraid to say it to her, afraid of how she would react. "He still cares for you whether he wants to admit it or not. He just goes out with those other girls to-"
"Enough," Chloe interrupted, her voice a little shaky. "Don't tell me he cares Remus, because if he does, or did, he would have shown it. He would have told me he loved me in front of all those people and not embarrassed me. If he loved me he would not have been ashamed of it."
Remus nodded slowly, sighing. He knew he couldn't win. "I should go." He said standing up.
Chloe stood up as well, and reached forward to stop Remus. He turned to look at her, frowning still. "I'm sorry Remus, but that's just how it is."
"I know," he muttered. He gave a small smile and light laugh. "You don't hate me for wanting you two to make up, do you?" he asked, his eyes a little fearful.
Chloe's mouth opened in disbelief. "Remus," she began, "You are my best friend, and I have known you longer than any other person besides my own family. I do not hate you for wanting Sirius and I to make up, and I never will. How could you ever think or joke of such a thing?"
Remus smiled, as if he had just realized the same for himself. "I don't know," he mumbled.
Chloe gave an encouraging smile and enveloped her friend in a hug. "See you later," she mumbled letting him go.
"Bye," Remus said, and left the compartment, the door sliding shut with a soft thud.
Chloe stumbled backwards, and fell into her seat lightly. Staring at the roof of the train she sighed loudly. "Why can't you ever make life easy for me?" she said to an invisible God.
"Who on Earth are you talking too?" Nadine's voice asked entering the compartment.
"Oh," Chloe mumbled, sitting up straight. Kathy followed Nadine inside the compartment, a pack of gum in her hand. "I wasn't talking to anyone." Chloe said breathlessly, her cheeks tingeing pink a little.
"Was that Remus Lupin I saw leaving this compartment?" Kathy asked sitting opposite of Chloe.
"Yeah, it was." Chloe confirmed. "He was just saying hello."
"Oh, I forgot that you two were friends." Kathy smiled. "He never mentioned you though, after you left. He seemed pretty distant when any of us mentioned you."
Chloe perked up a little with this knew information.
"Ha! Not as much as Sirius." Nadine laughed. " I swear, if we even said your name near him –even if we weren't talking to him- he would turn around and start snogging the first girl he saw. It was quite disgusting, actually." Nadine made a face, and looked at Chloe. "One thing is for sure, when you dumped him you did a real number on his ego. I don't think a girl's ever dumped him before." It was more of a question.
"Yeah," Chloe managed to say, "Well, I can't say he didn't deserve it."
"That's for sure. I remember when you told him you loved him in the middle of the Common room, and all he could say was, 'You've got a bit of fluff in your fringe.' I swear if looks could kill, Lily would be Azkaban right now." Kathy stated.
Chloe felt as if she was suffocating. The memory of that day came floating back to her, and she remembered Sirius' face as soon as the words had come from his mouth. He had looked so apologetic, so sorry that he had hurt her like he had at that moment. She had pushed him away, and left the Common room so no one would see her cry. She had run to the nearest lavatory and stayed in the stall for two hours.
She had given Sirius so much of herself, more than she had ever given to another soul. Now she felt as if he had taken it all and stomped on it, that he had thrown it all aside for his own pride. He had ripped out her heart and soul and left her to bleed all alone.
"Chloe?" a soft voice spoke outside of the stall. "Chloe, is that you? Can I please come in?"
"Go away Remus, I don't want to talk to you right now." Chloe choked.
"Chloe, I know what he did. And…" his voice trailed off. "I'm really sorry Chloe, I never thought he would go this far to-"
"Stop Remus, please just stop." Chloe cried.
She heard him mutter the spell quietly, and the bathroom stall door opened. She looked up at him, pushing her fringe back. Her tear streamed face glistened in the light as Remus moved toward her, a frown etched upon his face.
"I'm so sorry Chloe," Remus whispered, holding Chloe in his arms.
"I'm sorry too," Chloe mumbled through her tears.
"What's wrong Chloe?" Kathy asked her eyes wide.
Chloe hadn't realized tears had formed in her eyes. She quickly wiped them away, and started to blink to pretend something was in her eyes. "Nothing is wrong, just got something in my eyes."
Kathy looked a little skeptical but dropped it. She turned to Nadine on the left of her and started talking animatedly about Quidditch. Chloe on the other hand ignored them and turned to stare at the window. It was already dusk, and she knew it would only be a few short hours until they arrived at Hogwarts. She wasn't sure what would happen than, but she hoped she was ready for it.
A/N: I am so incredibly sorry for the HUGE confusion my little blunder had. Yes, that was the wrong chapter, and it was another one of my stories. My computer froze while updating my stories, so I guess it all got a little messed up. I hope you liked this, thanks for reading!