Chapter 7: Love

During the winter months it had been almost a daily occurrence for at least one of the outlaws to profess their gratitude to the absent Will for building the camp that protected them from the wild elements. Cassie had been grateful too, but never able to summon an image of the carpenter to which she could direct her thanks. Now, though, as she huddled by the fire and heard the rain pounding against the leafy roof, she could look across the camp and see the man responsible for keeping her warm and dry.

"You must be a genius," she commented. "This camp is amazing."

Will allowed himself a small smile. "I'm amazed it's still intact. I thought Much would have burned it down by now."

Cassie laughed. "He came close. His sleeve caught fire and he was staggering around waving it in the air, managed to set fire to one of the straw mattresses."

Will let out a groan, but he was smiling. "I wish I could say I hadn't missed him and his clumsiness, but I did."

"They all missed you," Cassie told him honestly. "They talked about you and Djaq all the time. Especially Allan, when we went on deliveries he'd tell me all the mischief you used to get up to."

"Half of it was probably made up," Will warned her.

"Yeah, it probably was," she agreed, staring into the fire. Allan had such a quick tongue, from which fibs and white lies spilled as easily as water from a jug. She had never minded though, never minded when he exaggerated his tales and made up fantastical stories, because it was so entertaining. And it was what made Allan Allan.

She frowned slightly as she recognised the contradiction within her thoughts. How could she praise Allan for his lies when they entertained her, and yet condemn him for them when they caused her pain?

"Something on your mind?" Will asked quietly.

"No," she replied automatically.

"Allan is a good liar. You are not," he told her.

Cassie smiled ruefully and shrugged. "It's just…"

"Allan?"

She nodded. "How did you know?"

"I may have been half asleep this morning but I still noticed the atmosphere between the two of you," Will replied. "And I've never seen Allan look at anyone the way he looks at you."

Cassie went red. She looked at Will, trying to decide whether or not she should talk to him. Although she had heard a thousand things about him, he was still a stranger to her. But his face was open and his eyes sympathetic, and she realised it might be easier to talk to a stranger. She hadn't had the chance to discuss the Allan problem with anyone – much as she loved John, Robin and Much, none of them would be her first choice of confidante.

"I love him," she said softly, as if uttering the words to the world would commit her to pursuing her heart. "And he said he loved me."

Will choked on the swig of water he had been taking. "Allan said what?"

"I know, I couldn't believe it either! But he said it. And I think he meant it…or at least, he's convinced himself that he meant it."

"You don't believe him?"

Cassie shrugged. "I suppose I do. I want to believe him. Although it would be so much easier if he didn't."

"Why?" Will was looking at her kindly. "If you love him, and he loves you, why aren't you together?"

Cassie scoffed. "You and Djaq loved each other and it took you months to be together!"

"That's because neither of us were brave enough to admit it," Will replied. "You and Allan have already got over that hurdle, so what's stopping you?"

"He was a traitor," Cassie explained in a hollow voice. "He betrayed you all. And my friend – one of my best friends – betrayed me. I've never felt so terrible, and I can't risk that happening again."

Will's eyes had shadowed at the mention of treachery and he turned his gaze to the fire, as if the flames would provide him with words of comfort to offer the girl. "I know exactly how you feel," he began after a long pause. "Allan was my best friend and he betrayed me. I honestly thought I would never forgive him. But I have; I've learned to trust him again. I would trust any member of this gang with my life, and that includes Allan. He saved me once, even when he was working for Gisborne."

Cassie looked up at him in surprise. "He did?"

Will nodded. "I was arrested, along with another man. He took the key to our shackles from Allan's belt; Allan noticed, but didn't say anything to Gisborne."

"He never told me that," she said slowly.

"He must have changed, not boasting about his good deeds and the great escapes," Will said with a laugh.

"Oh he told me plenty about great escapes! There was one far-fetched story about sliding down a rope using his bow."

A smile spread across Will's face. "That really happened," he told her. "But it was Robin, not Allan."

Cassie stared at him, open-mouthed in shock. "I don't know whether to be surprised that someone could actually pull that off, or angry that Allan said it was him!"

"That's Allan," Will said with a shrug before they both lapsed into silence. "Look, Cassie, he can be a total idiot sometimes. But I honestly believe that he's changed. He learned his lesson, and I truly believe that he would rather die than betray any of us again."

"Really?"

"Yes. I wouldn't tell you if I didn't believe it. And believe me, you need to sort it out before it's too late. I thought I was going to die when I told Djaq how I felt, I thought it was too late for us to have a life together. We got a second chance – you might not be that lucky."

Cassie looked at him, pulling her knees up and hugging them to her chest. "If you're so lucky, why do you get all tense and snappy whenever Djaq's name is mentioned?"

"I do not," Will retorted, his shoulders tensing as he spoke.

"See!" she laughed, pointing. "Honestly Will, what has happened with the two of you?"

Will sighed, returning his gaze to the fire. "I love her," he said simply.

"But that's not enough, is it?" she asked softly.

Will snapped his head up to look at her, anger flashing in his eyes at the suggestion before the indignation faded and hurt took its place. "No," he whispered, pain flooding through him as he finally admitted it to himself.

He loved Djaq, he knew that surer than he had ever known anything in his whole life. If there were any facts anchoring Will to his existence they were that he was an excellent carpenter, he hated the Sheriff, and he loved Djaq with all his heart. He had believed, with his young and naïve mind, that loving her with every fibre of his being would be enough for them to transcend differences in age, ethnicity, and religion. He had believed, perhaps foolishly, that she was all he needed to be happy in life.

He had remained in the Holy Land for love; given up his home, his friends and his brother for Djaq. And it was worth it if it meant he had her. Every stolen kiss and longing gaze made the distance between him and home seem less significant. But then every time he thought of Much's poor cooking, every time he remembered Robin's arrogant smile, every time he pictured the beauty of lightning forking in the sky above the forest, the gulf between him and home widened again and even a gentle touch from Djaq could not sooth his longing for the forest and his friends.

It had become an issue of contention between them, one of many things that tried to obstruct their happiness. They had not chosen the easy path; the people in Acre were suspicious of Will's pale skin, and he simply did not fit in. He did not speak the right language, he did not worship the correct religion, the sun was too hot, and he had nothing to do. Djaq was busy with her pigeons and an endless round of meetings with long lost acquaintances, whilst Will just hovered in the background in his strange clothes, being ignored by all those around him.

Will had thought their love would be enough to see them through the awkward times, but it had seemed like their troubles would never end. Will's boredom made him irritable, and Djaq's tiredness made her short tempered. When Djaq was tired and wanted to sleep Will wanted to talk, because he hadn't seen her all day. Discontent had led to rows, and eventually even gentle kisses in the shaded garden had not been enough to resolve their differences.

Then the missive had arrived from the King, and he had had to leave on a long, arduous journey with no guarantee that he would ever see his love again. They had not parted on particularly good terms; a huge row before he left for the port had never been resolved. And now he missed her, more than he ever would have thought possible; but was terrified to see her again in case things had changed. What if their love would never be enough?

Will had also been scared to return to England. He had been desperate for so many long weeks to walk once more between the mighty oaks of Sherwood Forest, but when the time came to return without Djaq he had been afraid. He had not wanted to risk returning to Sherwood, as then he would perhaps never want to return to the Holy Land.

As he stumbled haltingly through his story, picking at the hem of his sleeve with long fingers as a distraction, Cassie watched him sympathetically. As he came to a halt with a slight gulp she moved around the fire and squeezed his hand.

"You're right," she started slowly. "Love is not enough. You have to work at it; it takes communication and compromise to succeed. But it is worth it in the end. I know you truly love Djaq, and no barrier is too great for you to overcome."

"I compromised though," Will muttered. "I left my home, my friends, my brother to live thousands of miles away! All for her."

"Then maybe it will take a different compromise," Cassie suggested. "Tell me, despite all the problems, is you life better with Djaq as a lover or without her?"

Will's fingers returned to the loose thread dangling from his sleeve and pulled at it. "With," he replied quietly and Cassie nudged him.

"See? And whatever row you had, you can sort that out too. What did you argue about?"

Will gave a sudden snort. "She is so stubborn!" he declared lovingly. "I said I would bring the message to England and she demanded to accompany me. But one of us had to stay behind in case we were intercepted on the journey, so I told her she had to stay."

"I would bet she didn't take that too kindly?"

"No," Will replied, a fond smile touching his lips. "She volunteered to travel to England instead. I made the mistake of claiming that I was the man so I should be the one to do it, and she…well, she wasn't very happy." His smile faded. "She was so cross when we said goodbye."

"I promise you Will, the two of you will sort it out," Cassie assured him.

"I hope so," he replied fervently, then the corner of his mouth twitched upwards. "And if love is worth fighting for, I assume you and Allan are going to try and make it work?"

Cassie ignored him but could not disregard the flutter of hope in her stomach. The two fell silent once more and listened to the pounding of rain upon the roof, staring into the flickering flames of the fire.

Author's Note: I took my first exam today and in celebration decided to write another chapter! This has taken me so long and I'm still not completely happy about it, but its the best I can get it.

Look Biancaneve, its happened again! It's raining, but Allan and Will aren't running away to Scarborough with stolen loot! I am so anti-canon and rebellious...

Anyway, this should clear up a few things about our lovely William and Djaq! Hopefully a satisfactory explanation...