Beautiful Mistake Chapter Seventeen:
In the Open
Chloe was half asleep as she tried to focus on Professor McGonagall who was telling the sixth year students about something she could care less about. Behind her she could hear Lily and James scribbling away on parchment, and Chloe wondered if maybe they were writing notes to each other, then notes on what McGonagall was saying.
Next to her, the seat was empty. Sirius had not shown up for class, and even James couldn't offer an excuse. "He told me he was skipping breakfast, but would be in class." James said that morning at breakfast. Chloe didn't really understand it, why Sirius would choose not come to the first class of term. He may be a slacker, but he was always very punctual when it came to making it to classes, even if all he did was annoy the teacher and sleep. As for Remus, he was sitting in front of Chloe; taking notes while Nadine slept on her desk beside him. It amused Chloe that Professor McGonagall did nothing about it.
Leaning her head on her hands, she forced her eyes to stay open. McGonagall rambled on about Animagi, and transformed into a cat ever so often as an example. It didn't really faze Chloe though, and she was more focused on trying to stay awake then anything else. After a few more minutes, McGonagall assigned them a five foot long essay on the rules and regulations of becoming an Animagi, saying they had the last ten minutes of class to themselves – a rare treat.
"Chloe," James called, and Chloe turned to face him. "Do you know where Sirius is?"
Chloe blinked, half asleep. "What makes you think I would know where he is – you're his best friend?" She told him a matter-of-factly.
"We just figured," James muttered to himself, turning to a drawing on his paper.
Lily rolled her eyes, and looked at Chloe. "You look tired," she said.
"I am," Chloe started, "I woke up three times last night."
"How come?" Lily asked, concerned.
Chloe didn't want to admit to Lily that she had been worrying about Ryan in front of James, and shrugged. "Just couldn't," she told Lily, giving her a meaningful look that she hoped Lily would understand.
To her luck, Lily's eyes widened a little to tell her she had understood, and she nodded, "Oh, I see." She said in a strained voice.
James looked up from his scribbling, and gave Lily a strange look. "Are you okay?"
Lily gave him the strange look he had given her. "Yeah, are you okay?" she asked him, and Chloe wanted to laugh when James groaned.
"You women confuse me." He grumbled just as the bell rang. The three stood up, Chloe glad that she now had a break, followed the two slowly. Remus fell in beside Lily, and the four separated.
"We're off to Runes, see you two at Lunch," Lily said and quickly pecked James on the lips.
"Bye," James said to the two, and Chloe and James watched as Lily and Remus walked down the hall together jabbering about their runes homework that had to be done over the summer. Turning to Chloe, James suggested they go to the Kitchens. "In case Sirius decided he was hungry." He said.
Chloe agreed, and the two walked together to the kitchens. James asked her how her break was, and if she had gotten any nice presents. Chloe knew he was trying to see if something had happened again between her and Sirius, as he had left them the night before. But nothing happened, and Chloe started to get annoyed by his small talk.
"Nothing happened between Sirius and me, James. The last time I talked to him he was wishing a good night, and we went to bed. If you want to what's wrong with him, ask Sirius himself." Chloe told him.
James put his hands up in defense. "Sorry, I was just checking. Besides, I would ask Sirius if I knew where he was."
"What ever," Chloe grumbled. She didn't know why she was so grumpy, but she figured it had something to do with missing Ryan. She thought she would be better the second time round, having to leave him again. But this time it was harder. He had grown so much the last time she left; she feared how much he would grow this time.
When they arrived at the kitchens, they entered and found only the house-elves preparing lunch. The house-elves swarmed the two, asking if they wanted anything to eat or drink. James waved them off, while Chloe tried to ask them if they had seen Sirius Black at all that day. One house-elf squeaked her reply, saying no, they hadn't seen the Gryffindor.
In defeat, Chloe and James left the kitchens, a little glad to be away from the high pitched voices, and back into the short corridor that leads from the Entrance hall. James groaned, annoyed the he couldn't find his friend. Chloe, though, wasn't really that worried anymore. For all they knew Sirius had just fallen asleep and decided to stay in bed. He would have to deal with McGonagall later, but he always had the knack of calming McGonagall down.
"Do you want to split up?" James asked.
"No, I want to go to the Great Hall and start my essay." Chloe told him, and started to walk down the hall.
"What about Sirius?" James said.
"Go find Peter," Chloe told him. "Besides, Sirius probably just fell asleep in his room."
"Maybe," James wondered, and caught up with Chloe as she stepped out into the entrance hall. "I'll see you at Lunch then?" he asked.
"Sure," Chloe's voice softening a little as she realized she was being a bit harsh. "Good luck on your hunt," she told him as James walked away.
Deciding that it would be best for her to unwind, and try and settle her sleepless anger, Chloe walked into the almost empty Great Hall, and took a seat near the end of the Gryffindor table. Light chatter filled the hall, and Chloe took out her transfiguration books to do some research. She hoped they wouldn't be studying Animagi for too long. She had covered it last year, in correspondents, and even Lily said it was review from the year before.
"Can I sit here?"
Chloe looked up, and smiled at Sirius. He looked sleep-deprived, his eyes blood-shot. "No, unless you explain why you weren't in class today." Chloe teased.
Sirius rolled his eyes, and sat down across from her. "I fell asleep," he replied simply.
"Liar," Chloe called on him. "Your eyes are blood-shot, and you have bags around your eyes. You look like you haven't slept at all."
Sirius shrugged. "That's why I slept in."
"Just tell the truth, Sirius." Chloe dared.
Sirius sighed, and leaned forward on his hand. "I don't really want to talk about it here."
"Then where can we talk about it?" Chloe urged. Something was bothering him, something serious, and she wanted to know what.
Sirius frowned. "Can we go for a walk?"
"Sure," Chloe agreed, happy that Sirius was open to talking to her.
Packing her things into her book bag, Sirius waited for her. When she finished, Sirius jumped the table, and together they walked out of the Great Hall. It was too cold outside, so Sirius summoned for their hat, gloves, and cloaks. They received some strange looks at their cloaks came floating towards them, but Chloe was thankful as Sirius helped her put her own on.
A cold wind hit Chloe's face once they stepped outside, and instinctively she moved closer to Sirius. She was surprised when he did the same, and wrapped his arm around her waist. They walked like that for some time, in silence. As they distanced themselves from the castle, Sirius finally spoke.
"Regulus is a follower of the Dark Lord."
Chloe stared, freezing in her tracks. She turned to Sirius, her mouth hanging open in surprise. She hadn't expected this, she hadn't seen this coming. And Sirius was so calm, it seemed as though he had let go of the past and just surrendered. Or at least, he had done so the night before.
"I'm so sorry Sirius, if I had known…" Chloe trailed off, not knowing what to say.
Sirius shook his head, wrapping his arms around her. "I wouldn't have expected you to. Besides, I was expecting this. Andromeda wrote me before the Christmas holiday's telling me that she had caught wind that there would be a meeting at Grimmauld place and that the Dark Lord would be there. I knew he would be gaining new followers, and that my brother would be one of them."
As if something had lit up in her mind, she remembered a conversation she had had with James all those months ago. He had told her that Sirius feared this would happen, and that it would happen during the Christmas break. Feeling her stomach drop, she frowned and looked Sirius in the eye.
"James doesn't know, does he?" she asked.
"I haven't found the time to tell him yet ." Sirius admitted.
"You are going too soon, aren't you? He's your best mate, Sirius, and he is dead worried about you. Remember, in November, how James came to me he was so worried. You need to tell him," Chloe urged him, fearing that Sirius starting to turn within himself now that James and Lily were together again.
"I will, I will, I promise." Sirius vowed, and then pulled her into a hug.
Chloe held him close, longing to spill her heart out to him. But she knew it wasn't the time to tell him about Ryan, not now that he was so upset about Regulus. The last thing he needed was another person telling him something that would turn his world upside down. Pulling away, Chloe wiped away a tear that had fallen down Sirius' face.
"It's not your fault, what happened." She told him, struggling to keep from crying herself. "You tried to convince him, and he ignored you. There is no one to blame, but himself."
Sirius nodded, and pulled away, wiping his face. He had never liked to cry in front of people, and he had only allowed himself to do it once before in front of Chloe. Biting her lip nervously Chloe waited for Sirius to compose himself, while she stood back with her arms crossed over her chest.
"Are you cold?" Sirius asked, noticing that she was shivering.
"A little," Chloe admitted.
"Do you want to go inside? Lunch should be starting soon." Sirius suggested.
"Only if you want to," Chloe tested. She didn't want to do anything Sirius didn't, and she figured he wanted to stay away from the others.
To her surprise, Sirius let out a short laugh, and Chloe wondered if this was good or not. "You can just say yes, Chloe." He assured her.
Chloe smiled. "Then yes, I would like to go inside." She agreed.
Sirius smirked, and took her hand. Together they walked towards the castle. No words were passed between the two; they didn't need to. Chloe liked having Sirius there, holding her hand, and being able to just walk in silence. She knew it wouldn't last forever, and once they entered the castle, Sirius didn't surprise when he let go of her hand.
Pulling off their cloaks, Sirius stored them in a broom closet that was in the entrance hall. He looked at her before they entered the Great Hall, and smiled. "Are you all right?" He asked, noticing how serene and quiet she was.
"Of course," Chloe lied. She couldn't stop the thoughts that clouded her mind. All she could think about was how to tell Sirius about Ryan. When the best time would be, and how he would react. They were questions that seemed unanswerable to Chloe, and fell in step next to Sirius as they entered the Great Hall which was buzzing with noise.
Chloe spotted Lily, Remus, and the others at their usual spot in centre of the table. James nearly fell out of his seat when he saw Sirius, and he looked annoyed. "Where the hell have you been Padfoot?" James scowled as they came closer.
"Chloe and I went for a walk," Sirius said. Chloe was glad he didn't lie.
Chloe sat down across from Lily, and Sirius sat down next to her. James was still fuming. "You didn't come to class – you didn't tell me you were going to go back to sleep. I was looking for you all second period – nobody knew where you were."
"Chloe knew where I was." Sirius interrupted, smirking.
"Shut up Sirius, she didn't know until after I asked her." James grumbled, than looked at Chloe. "Why didn't you come and get me if you found him?"
"Because we decided to go for a walk. I wasn't going to go look for you just to tell you Sirius was awake." Chloe explained, taking a sandwich off the platter in front of her.
"You two are a pair," Remus broke in, grinning.
"Prongs, do you want to skip potions?" Sirius asked.
James looked at him, and shrugged. "Why not, it's only Slughorn."
"James!" Lily broke in, angry now. "You can't skip Potions – and neither can you Sirius. You've already skipped one class today."
"Leave him alone, Lily." Chloe advised. Lily looked at her ludicrously, but graciously let the argument drop.
Sirius turned to look at Chloe, and gave her a small smile before turning back to eat his sandwich. Chloe felt her inside warm, knowing that she had brightened Sirius' day a little, and she knew very well of his plans to tell James when they skipped class. Remus, for the first time in his life not sensing the tense looks and feelings going around the table started talking off-handedly about the next Quidditch match that would be taking place in a few weeks against Ravenclaw.
"I plan on making a new regime – Steven has put together a strong team this year, one that could easily match us, if not beat us. But we have Nadine now, and she is possibly one of the best chasers we've had for years." James bragged. Chloe and Lily looked at each other, and both rolled their eyes, and then laughed together.
"What are you two laughing about?" James groaned.
Lily shook her head. "Nothing dear," she said, patting his knee.
James looked annoyed, but continued to talk to Remus and Sirius about his Quidditch tactics. A few minutes later Nadine and Kathy joined the four and Nadine happily joined the conversation. Soon after, Peter joined the group, and the table was filled with laughter, and different conversations.
"Sirius looks exhausted," Kathy said to Chloe. "Is something bothering him?"
Chloe shrugged. "I don't know – he probably just isn't used to being at school again. He does enjoy sleeping." Chloe said, trying to be passive.
Kathy didn't like her answer, but gave up when Remus started to ask her about her Muggle Studies class. Chloe couldn't help but grin at how obvious it was that the two liked each other. Chloe thought it was cute, and wished the Remus got it out of his head that he was worthless because he was a Were-wolf.
The bell rang, and the group had to split up and go to their own classes. They said goodbye to Sirius was James, as they went on their own way. Chloe could see in Sirius' eyes that he was glad to be along with his friend.
"Chloe come on," Lily called. She, Remus, Kathy, and Nadine were all waiting for her patiently be the stairs that led to the dungeons.
"Coming," Chloe chanted after them, and caught up with Lily. Nadine, Kathy, and Remus wandered a head, letting Chloe and Lily to talk openly. "He says that Regulus is a follower of the Dark Lord's."
"I know that, Sirius has known that for a long time. Why is that making him so upset?" Lily asked, not understanding.
Stopping Lily, Chloe checked that nobody was in listening distance. Turning to Lily she said quietly, "Regulus is a follower of the Dark Lord, like Severus."
Lily's brow furrowed, and her mouth opened in confusion. "You have no proof the Severus-"
"Lily, forget Severus, Regulus is a follower through and through." Chloe bit out. She hadn't expected Lily to get upset about Severus. She knew very well that her friend was a follower; it was part of the reason why she didn't speak to him. Knowing it had been stupid for her to have this conversation now; Chloe turned around and started walking again.
"Wait," Lily said, catching up with her. "I'm sorry; I shouldn't have reacted that way."
"It's all right," Chloe shook her head. "I shouldn't have said it now."
Lily gripped Chloe's side, hugging her. "Is he all right though?"
"I think so, for now any way. It's why he wanted James to skip class." Chloe explained.
"I figured it would be something like that when you told me to drop the subject." Lily amended.
"Well since we've got that out of the way, we should get to class." Chloe said, seeing Remus waiting for them just ahead, looking curious as to what was going on. Knowing it would be better to keep Remus out of it for the time being; Lily and Chloe caught up with their friends and entered the Potions room without another word about Sirius.
Sitting in the Gryffindor Common room, Chloe watched lazily out the window as snowed drifted to the ground. She was alone, Lily at a meeting McGonagall and Dumbledore – something about graduation. James and Nadine were at Quidditch practice, while Remus and Kathy had decided to study together in the Library. And Sirius, well, Chloe hadn't seen him since Lunch.
Her transfiguration books were spread out in front of her on the small studying table. She hadn't written a word since she had set down, her ears turning deaf to the other Gryffindor's in the Common Room who were all talking loudly; glad to see each other after the long break.
Chloe had become slightly obsessed with watching the snow falling, seeing in the distance small little figures flying around at the Quidditch pitch. She knew they were probably freezing, but nothing stops Quidditch. So she ignored that and turned her attention to the snow flakes.
"Chloe," Sirius' voice floated into Chloe's thoughts.
Turning around in her seat, Chloe faced Sirius, glad to have the company. He looked more haggard then he had in the morning, and as he pulled a seat next to her, Chloe asked him where he had been the whole afternoon.
"I had a little meeting with Regulus, actually." Sirius divulged.
"Oh, really?" Chloe asked, surprised. "How did that go?"
Sirius shrugged, glancing out the window. "It went as I expected. I asked him if he was all right, tried to convince him to change his mind. But he seems pretty intent on this whole 'Death Eater' thing." Sirius grumbled.
"'Death Eater'?" Chloe questioned, confused. She had never heard of such a thing.
"That's what they call themselves, the followers of Voldemort." Sirius described.
Chloe frowned. "And let me guess, 'Voldemort' is the name the Dark Lord has given himself."
"Yep," Sirius affirmed passively, and leaned his head on the desk. "I don't really know what to do about it all anymore. Regulus has chosen his path, and I guess I've chosen mine. There's nothing I can do, I suppose we were destined to be enemies." Sirius foretold.
Brushing a strand of hair from his face, Chloe smiled sadly. "Don't say that Sirius," she whispered, taking his hand in hers. "You did everything you could; you loved him with all you could. Sometimes, the only thing that can save a person is themselves." Chloe leaned in and kissed him on the forehead, not caring who saw, not caring how Sirius would take it. He needed it, and seeing him so down was like someone stabbing her in the heart. "You should go get some sleep – James will wake you up in time for dinner."
Sirius grinned, holding her hand to his heart; he then moved it to his lips where he kissed it. "You are too wonderful, Chloe." He said, and stood up. "I'll see you later then."
Chloe smiled. "Yes, see you later." She told him. He left her without another word, and she watched as he walked up the steps to the boy's dormitories. His head was held low, and Chloe wished with everything in her that everything would get better for him.
Going back to her research, she groaned to herself. There was no point in trying to do her homework in the loud Common Room, especially now that she had scanned her entire supply of textbooks. Not really wanting to have to walk all the way to Library, Chloe grudgingly stood and started packing her things. There was no way she would be wasting her weekend writing an essay, not when things between Sirius and her were going so well. She had had fantasies about telling him about Ryan, perhaps together they could escape to Hogsmeade so they could be absolutely alone. Chloe didn't want to go on anymore without telling him.
Passing through the Portrait hole in a daze, she didn't see the dark shadow hiding in the corner. Hearing footsteps, Chloe glanced back and jumped a little when she saw Severus Snape walking behind her, his greasy hair covering his face. Chloe would have rather to ignore him, and continue on her way but he looked like he wanted to talk to her. Slowing down to almost a stop she waited the few seconds it took for him to catch up with her.
"What do you want Severus?" she asked, not really in the mood.
"I want you to tell me if Lily really wants to be back with James." Severus replied, darkly.
Chloe groaned, and started walking again. "I am not going to be your in-between girl, Severus. I give you the pleasure not to get hexed into oblivion for what you have done to Lily, and to treat you like any other. But when you ask me to tell you things, to help you in hurting my friend, I'm not going to be nice." Chloe lectured.
"It's just one simple question – yes or no – just answer!" Severus shouted.
Chloe turned to face him, annoyed now. "Yes, Severus, she is happy. It was completely her choice, she loves James." Chloe's voice softened a little when she saw how hurt Severus looked. It was hard to see, but she saw the extra hunch he walked with, and the twitch in his jaw as he clenched it together. "I'm sorry, I know…" Chloe trailed off when it was doing nothing to help Severus. Without a word he turned on his heel and stomped off to wherever. She didn't like being the bad guy, but the entire year she had watched as Severus hurt Lily over and over, and she wasn't about to let him do it anymore.
Returning to her walk to the Library, Chloe was quite glad to find her usual spot in the library unoccupied, and quickly set to work, letting the books she summoned surround her as she worked. The hours passed, and it wasn't long before Chloe's stomach rumbled in hunger. Looking at her watch, Chloe saw that it was nearing six o'clock, and supper would be served soon. Leaving her things and charming the books to stay where they were Chloe quickly headed to the Great Hall.
As she got closer she ran into Lily and Remus who had returned from their activities in high spirits. "I've got everything planned for Graduation," Lily rave to Remus and Chloe. "Dumbledore has approved it all, and the speeches James and I will be giving as well."
"You already wrote the speech?" Chloe asked in disbelief.
"I had to. There was no way I was doing all this while studying for NEWTS. Of course, James doesn't really know about the speech, so I hope he takes it all right. I think he was kind of eager to put his own touch on it." Lily pondered.
"I'm sure he won't mind, James doesn't really like that sort of thing." Remus reckoned.
"I hope so," Lily replied.
Entering the Great Hall, Chloe immediately noted that only Kathy Nadine we're sitting at the Gryffindor table. Remus sat next to Kathy, and the two gushed over some Muggle book while Lily questioned Nadine on how Quidditch went. Chloe ignored this, turning her attention to the door waiting for the three missing people to come. Peter was the first to appear in the door way, looking nervous, and a little on edge as he neared the group. Remus greeted him graciously, and Peter took a seat next to him. Chloe couldn't help but notice the hurt in Peter watery eyes as he watched Kathy laugh at something Remus said.
"There's Sirius," Lily said, next to Chloe.
Looking back at the door, Chloe watched as a rested Sirius walked over to them. James wasn't with him and Chloe wondered aloud where he was to Sirius when he was close enough to hear. "He got a little caught up – he decided to take a shower before coming." Sirius explained, sitting across from Chloe.
"Oh, okay," Chloe said not really caring that much. "Had a good sleep?" Chloe asked, curious.
Sirius smiled, and nodded. "Yes, thank you for sending me to bed. I needed it." He praised.
Chloe smiled, and it wasn't long after that that food appeared on the plates in front of them. Hungry, Chloe ate happily, and enjoyed listening to the chatter of her friends. It seemed like even though so many things were going on in that moment it felt as though everything was all right. Sirius was smiling again, alive. He ate, and joked around. Chloe saw that Lily was getting a little worried about James' continued disappearance, but when Chloe looked over at the double doors it was her time to be worried.
James stood just outside the doors, Severus next to him. They looked like they were in a heated discussion, possibly they had just been yelling. Chloe looked away quickly though when the two separated, hoping Lily hadn't seen the scene. The last thing Chloe needed was an upset Lily.
As James neared everyone shouted insults and teased him for taking so long. He didn't seem to notice as he sat down next to Lily and kissed her quickly on the lips before piling food on to his plate. Hoping to break any tense moment, Chloe turned to James. "How long exactly does it take to have a shower?" she joked.
James ignored her, and looked to Lily. "How did your meeting go?" he asked.
Chloe stared at the back of James' head in disbelief. Had he really just blatantly ignored her? She didn't think he would react that way, and hoped it was just because of what ever happened between he and Severus. Turning in her seat, Chloe glanced at Sirius who had noticed the interaction and mouthed: "What's wrong with him?" Sirius shrugged in response, and returned to his food.
The thought that something bad had happened involving her couldn't escape her. James had never been one to turn on his friends, no matter what someone said. What if Severus ad told James about Ryan? About how he knew that Chloe had a son and that it was Sirius'. Chloe felt as if she couldn't breathe, and that she was being suffocated. Her eyes froze on Sirius' face, which was currently being stuffed with food. There was no doubt in Chloe's mind that James knew.
Her knees shook a little as she stood up, and pulled her legs free from the long bench. Everyone looked at her except for James curiously, wondering what she was doing, where she was going. Sirius was the most curious one, and was first to ask what she was doing.
"I should get back to my research; I don't want to do this essay all weekend." Chloe told them tonelessly, trying to act natural. Glancing at the back of James' head, as she backed away, she urged him to turn around and prove her wrong. But he didn't, and Chloe tried to hide the fear from her eyes. "I'll see you later tonight," she told them, and quickly turned to leave. She ignored any protest from her friends, and walked straight out of the Great Hall.
As fast as her feet would take her she rushed back to the library, where she went to her spot before. She sat down, shaking as she tried to organize her thoughts. It could be possible that James didn't know, and that he was just having one of his usual arguments with Severus Snape. Maybe he had ignored her because he was angry, not in the mood to hear jokes. It was very possible that that was true, though Chloe had never known him to act so irrational before. James normally just brushed that sort of thing off his shoulder, and moved on. But again, maybe he was just tired. A lot had happened that day, and it was possible, like Sirius, he was feeling run down.
Feeling better now, Chloe managed to convince herself that she had over reacted, and that there was nothing for her to worry about. Moving the books and paper on her desk, she decided there was no point for her to sit there and do nothing. It wouldn't look good when on the weekend she did in fact have to do her essay, and explain why she hadn't finished it before. Turning the pages she began to jot down notes, and possible things she could say.
It didn't take long for the hours to pass, and it was close to time for the Library to close. Looking at her watch, Chloe decided it was time to retreat from her hide out and go to bed. Picking up the few books that would help her, she stacked them on to her own textbooks and went to the front where she signed the books out. She said a quick goodnight to Madame Pince, and exited the Library.
The corridor was dark, as Chloe walked towards the fourth floor stairs. As Chloe started climbing the steps her thoughts drifted back to the events that occurred at dinner, and she couldn't shake the fact that James had given her the cold shoulder no matter what it stemmed from. She knew the others would think nothing of it, and go on with their night as if everything was okay. But it seemed, for Chloe nothing that day had been okay.
"Chloe," a dark voice said behind Chloe.
Chloe let out a scream, surprised. She went to spin around to see who had scared her, but missed a step and tripped falling to the ground sending her books and things every where. Landing on her back at the bottom of the steps, Chloe could see clearly who snuck up on her. James loomed over her, and he stretched out his hand for her to take. Glad that it was James, and not someone else, for a moment Chloe was happy to see him until she saw the look on his face.
"James, what's wrong?" Chloe asked cautiously. Something was wrong, very wrong.
"You have a son," James bit back.
Chloe felt her stomach drop to her knees, and she stepped back, finding strength in the stair hand rail. She didn't know how to respond, and she could hardly breathe. She had known it, but it was all the more shattering hearing the hurt behind James' words. It was true, they had never been best mated like she was with Remus, but she could see that this information hurt him all the same. Just like it had with Remus.
"Say something," James begged angrily.
Chloe frowned. "Say what, James? Say that I'm sorry you had to find out that way? Say that yes, it's true, that I had a child, and his name is Ryan? It's why I left school after fifth year, and why I won't get back together with Sirius."
James looked upset. "Exactly what I wanted you to tell me! Why the hell didn't you tell us? Tell Lily, or Remus? Why the hell would you not tell Sirius?" James bellowed.
Chloe wobbled on her feet. She didn't like being yelled at, especially not by James. She knew she offered him a reason, and a good one. James wasn't as forgiving as Remus was, nor was he as sympathetic as Lily. He wanted answers, and he wanted them now. "I kept it from him because I was young and stupid. I thought that if I just left, never came back to this place I would be able to move on with my life. Sirius, he had broken my heart James. He didn't even try after I broke up with him – and he was the one who should have tried James – and I didn't know how to tell him. You ignored me because Sirius ignored me. I wasn't friends with Lily back then, and my only friend, Remus, was telling me every second he could to go get Sirius back. I felt alone, James. The only place that offered any sanity was home, and away from Hogwarts.
"I never planned to come back. I planned to let you all move on with your lives just like I was trying to. But Dumbledore offered me a place at school, I couldn't deny him. I wanted to better myself so I could better Ryan. I never thought that coming back here all this would have happened – I never expected I would be on speaking terms with any of you. James, you have to understand," Chloe pleaded, close to tears.
James was speechless, and he kept running his hand through his hair nervously. Neither of them spoke, staring at each other in hopelessness. Tears fell down Chloe's face, and she wiped them away bitterly. This wasn't how it was supposed to be, and she didn't like that James had cornered her.
"You are going to tell Sirius," James decided.
"I was – I am. I can't tell him now, though, not with this whole thing with Regulus. I don't want to add any stress on him when he is already upset." Chloe attested.
"Fine, fine, what ever." James babbled, "I just want you to tell him soon if not now. If you don't, I will."
Chloe looked at the ground, not wanting to argue anymore. "He's your friend," Chloe started, "And I get why you're mad that I kept this from him, but let me tell him James. It's my responsibility."
James nodded, agreeing. He didn't say anything, but swooped to the ground and before Chloe could tell him to stop he had picked up all her things, and handed them back to her. "Sorry for scaring you," he mumbled.
Chloe shrugged, taking her things and hugging them to her chest. "Am I free to go to bed now, or are you going to abuse me a little more?" she hissed.
James gave her a look, and shook his head turning to leave. "I'll see you later Chloe." He said to her, and started walking down the Fourth Floor. Chloe didn't know where he was going, nor did she care. As long as he wasn't going to tell Sirius, she was okay.
Feeling as if everything in her was broken, Chloe turned up the stairs and walked as fast as she could to the Gryffindor Tower. Again, she passed through the portrait hole numbly, and entered the empty Common Room, sighing in relief to see that no one was in there. Climbing the steps she was glad to be finally going to bed. Being as quiet as she could she put all her books and homework under her bed, and changed into her night gown. Slipping into her bed, she moved to pull the hanging's closed when Lily seemingly hopped from her own bed to Chloe's.
Not saying a word, Chloe made room for Lily on her bed, and waited for Lily to close the hanging's, and slip in next to Chloe. Pulling Chloe into a hug, Chloe knew at once that Lily knew what happened.
"I tried stopping him, I swear, Chloe. But he wouldn't listen, and he wanted to hear it come from you. I am so sorry, Chloe, I can understand if you're mad." Lily whispered in the dark.
Chloe shook her head no, tears filling her eyes. "I'm not mad Lily, I'm just…" Chloe trailed off, not knowing what the right word to use.
"I know," Lily whispered in the darkness. "I know," she repeated, and slowly Chloe fell asleep.