Thieves of Heaven
A Yoko Kurama/Shuichi Minamino story--Yu Yu Hakusho
Chapter Three: Acceptance of Fate
"Your mate? What, like your girlfriend or something?" Kuwabara, always the intellect, questioned the older male, receiving a look of pity from Kurama and glares that mocked his stupidity from the remaining two members of his team.
"You idiot, demons don't have girlfriends," Hiei snarled impatiently, no doubt resisting the urge to ram his sword down Kuwabara's gullet as always. "They were lovers-am I correct, fox?" A slight nod of Kurama's head indicated his agreement to Hiei's blunt statement.
"Hiei is right, all but for one simple thing. Katari and I are still mates-even now, trapped in this human form, our bond remains. You see, the union we share is perpetual-even in death, we are bound together as one," he explained to his unusually attentive audience, his painstakingly calm tone underlain with obvious sadness.
Hiei studied his teammate with a perceptive gaze, the weight of his explanation carrying much more meaning for him than it did for the two others. After all, he was a demon himself. Humans had their customs, just as youkai had theirs.
"I thought as much-she still bears your mark beneath that garb she had on," Hiei added, scrutinizing his comrade with unwavering crimson eyes, his lips molded into an almost contemplative expression rather than his usual frown. "But I can't detect your scent on her at all."
"We haven't seen each other in a number of years." Kurama's eyes were distant, their vibrant emerald hue glazed over and devoid of their usual mischievous glitter. "I'm certain Katari believed me to be dead, killed as a result of an ill-fated raid. She had no idea of what really occurred, and with my condition as poor as it was following the incident, I had no means of getting in touch with her. From what I can gather, she was still living within the boundaries of Demon World, and in such a drastically weakened state, returning to that plane would have been suicidal. I had no way knowing she had relocated to the Human Realm."
"Fate's got once bitchy sense of humor, eh?" Yusuke perked up, a smile plastered upon his face in an attempt to lighten up the dreary mood that had seemed to fill the room. He slung an arm around the taller boy's broad shoulders in a consoling manner and poked his chest with a single finger to emphasize his words as he spoke. "Well, I ain't no love doctor, but if we're all gonna be working together, you might wanna set things straight, Kurama. Especially if she's as good as Binky Breath says she is-she could kick all of ours asses and not even break a sweat." As dimwitted as the heavily gelled hair teen could sometimes be, he made a very good point. A small smile perched upon the side of the redhead's lips despite himself.
"I don't doubt that for a moment, Yusuke, and yes, I plan to settle things, I just need to think of how. Katari will need time to adjust. Many things have changed," the fox replied, his last words mostly to himself.
- - -
The return trip from Spirit World seemed to be centuries longer than the initial journey, with Katari fighting wave after wave of dizziness as it rocked her petite form. The constant spinning of her head sent her thoughts a monochrome blur, like a tiny drop of water splashing upon freshly printed black ink and smearing the words into one long distorted smudge across the paper.
Her stomach was currently at war with itself, tossing and turning like a ship trapped within the spinning currents of a deadly storm upon the unforgiving sea, inflicting her with the urge to throw up. The unnamed guide glanced back at her from time to time, concern radiating in those soft azure eyes of hers. Despite this, she seemed unsure on whether or not to ask if anything was wrong.
"You're very pale," she commented almost nonchalantly, but Katari could easily pick up on the unmistakable the guise of worry clear in her voice. "Are you ill?"
"I'll survive," the distraught kitsune managed to say in the disguise of a calm voice, even though inside she was a gigantic emotional disaster. Fury, grief, memories of love and warmth plagued her thoughts like a fatal disease, all striking instantaneously and without limit. They rapidly ate away at the barrier she had built with such painstaking effort, downing the high walls she had raised in order block out such feeling-emotions did her no good, or so she could recall. All they did was make her feel weak and helpless.
In light of this fact, Katari had refused to acknowledge that such things existed. However, seeing him after so many long, lonely years had changed that in a matter of seconds. It made all those feelings she had carefully forced out of mind to come rushing back with a vengeance, swallowing her whole and dragging her down into deep, dark waters with no way to avoid the insistent pull of the current.
The moment her feet touched the ground of her lavish estate, she fled into the safety of her sanctuary, pausing only to glimpse back at the reaper before disappearing into the house. The large French doors slammed shut behind her lithe form with a heavy thud, the noise echoing throughout the expanse of the rather impressive holding.
Once within the protected fortress that she had made into a home, Katari collapsed. She fell to her knees on the cold tile of the foyer, her breathing heavy and labored as her hands clutched blindly at the pendant that dangled from about her neck-a delicate trinket that she had worn for years. His pendant. It had been a present from him, the last gift he had bestowed upon her before his death.
Known throughout the realm as the Sacred Heart, this incredibly beautiful charm was carved out of a large blood red ruby and set with a number of tiny onyx pieces said to hail from the banks of the river Styx, the water ridden path paving the way into the underworld. The charm itself was said to have once belonged to the goddess Aphrodite, the Greek mistress of love, beauty, and notions of the heart, and it was sanctified with a special decree: should true love exist between the one who bestows it and its holder, it will never break, thus symbolizing a bond to last forever.
Ever since the day Yoko had placed the bejeweled ornament around her neck by means of a thin silver chain, it had never once left her person-oddly enough, the charm itself provided her with a sense of security, making her feel just short of untouchable. Even following his tragic passing, she continued to wear it, vainly hoping that it would somehow keep him alive, if only in her memories. However, all the pendant did was provide more pain to add onto the burden of her loss simply by forcing her to relive past moments the pair had once shared. In the end, she found herself unable to get rid of it-she couldn't even find it in her heart to remove it from her neck, so it remained, serving as a beautiful, but grim reminder.
The Sacred Heart had once felt warm to the touch, back when Yoko had been of the living. But following his death, it had turned cold and remained as such-icy and bitter, much like her heart. The shock lit up every nerve ending within her body as slender fingers enclosed about the usually cool gem, seeking comfort in its cold touch, only to find it warm and pulsating, as if with a life of its own. A soft cry escaped her throat as she tore her hand back, as if scalded by flame, and buried her face in the nook of her hands, desperate to keep herself from dissolving into tears.
It took all of her strength to maintain her composure, but even still, a single tear managed to escape its prison within the depths of her violet eyes-the very first tear she had cried in the long, painful years following Yoko's death. It trailed down the curve of her pale cheek in a cool glistening trail only to be quickly wiped away with the back of her hand. The lump stuck in her throat worsened-she'd nearly forgotten what it was to cry. Despite the deteriorating condition of her trembling legs, she forced herself to rise to her feet, fighting like hell to maintain her self control-what little remained of it-and inwardly cursing herself for breaking down and showing such weakness.
She was not weak; however, she found herself feeling so close to human at that point that it made the ache plaguing her stomach grow worse. If she didn't find a way to calm herself soon, she would end up succumbing to these intense emotions and no doubt end up the victim of one horrid mental breakdown. Neither option appealed to her, so she did the only thing she could think of-she headed down to the shore. The brisk lull of the sapphire waves and soft, salt scented breeze would offer her the comfort she so desperately sought-she was sure of it. After all, the sea had calmed her numerous times in the past. There was just something about the soothing serenity of the gently lolling waves as they crashed upon the pale sands of the shore in an explosion of foam and turquoise that consoled her troubled soul even at its worst.
The scent of salt hung thick in the air, which, even as heavy with humidity as it was, was pleasant enough as it blew over her clammy skin, causing tiny goosebumps to form over the exposed flesh of her pale arms as her legs carried her down to the shore. With a quick hand, she carefully pulled her lengthy hair from its braid, allowing the wavy crimson tresses to hang free, billowing out behind her lithe form at the inviting lull of the sea breeze. She kicked off her boots and socks as she neared the shore line, tossing them carelessly aside as she broke into a run, not stopping until the last few steps separating her from the cooling sea water were breached, her feet sinking into the wet sand as the bottoms of her jeans grew heavy with water.
The soft rush of the chilly water over her feet sent a enjoyable tingle shooting up her legs as a large blast of ocean wind roared past, ruffling her long blood hued locks with a gentle, unseen touch. Closing her eyes, her entire body relaxed against the pull of the wind, bestowing upon her the feeling of being without gravity for a brief moment. That alone almost brought a smile to grace her lips-that is, until she caught wind of something that shattered her newly achieved calm just as quickly as she had gained it.
She wasn't alone.
What was worse, her unseen guest was standing right behind her.
Worst still, this guest wasn't a stranger, not the kind she usually received, anyway.
There was no mistaking that ki signature, no matter how weakened it had become.
She felt her breath hitch in her throat at the sound of her name on his lips, so quiet, so heavy with regret and soft with fear, and for one brief, terrifying moment, thought she might drown.
"Katari?"
The sound of her heart as it hammered away within the confines of her chest echoed with a startling clarity in her ears, her tiny hands balling up into tightly clenched fists. Her violet eyes remained staring out at the sea, knowing full well that if she were to look at him, she would lose it. Just being so close to him was enough to shatter her usually blank demeanor, a feat that no one else could brag of. Within the depths of her mind, she cursed herself, wishing she had never given herself to him in the first place. No, that wasn't right. Even as hurt and angry as she was, he had once made her happier than anything else in her life, and she couldn't despise him, if only for that fact.
"What are you doing here?"
In spite of how shaken she was, her voice still came forth cold and unwavering as always, and for that she was grateful. As long as she didn't meet his eyes, she would remain unaffected, or so she told herself. It was so much easier to be cruel when the receiver of said malice wasn't in sight-out of sight, out of mind, she supposed.
"Years without so much as a word and now you can't even bring yourself to look at me?" the redheaded male called out as he approached her from behind. Tension hung in the air like thick storm clouds, so heavy one could cut it with a knife.
"I make it a point not to look at what offends me, and I don't think I could find something I consider more offensive than you, kitsune," she snarled, the sharpened points of her considerable claws digging fiercely into the soft flesh of her palms, breaking the thin layer of skin with little force. The metallic scent of blood perfumed the air moments later, tainting the calming aroma of sea salt with its pungent fragrance. "I suggest you quickly take your leave of this place before I'm forced to escort you out using force." Her voice was so harsh, so much more malicious than usual, she barely recognized it herself.
"Katari…" His voice had taken on a pleading tone that tore at her heart and caused her nails to dig themselves deeper into the bleeding flesh of her palms in order to maintain her cold hearted manner. "Please, allow me to explain before you condemn me. If you ever held any love for me at all, you would at least allow me this chance," he implored, his voice so heavy with raw emotion, she knew that attempting to falter him from his current course of action was indeed futile. She could effectively shut him up and force him to leave as she had threatened, but something inside of her demanded that she allow him this one grace. The instinctive part of her that ordered this had never let her down before, so she knew that listening to what he had to say would most likely be in her best interest-and perhaps his as well.
"The truth," she replied, her voice barely above a whisper. Even with his exquisite hearing, he barely managed to catch the words as they emitted from her lips. "Tell me anything other than that, and we're finished here. Koenma can lock me up for eternity and throw away the key for all I give a damn." An uncomfortable silence fell over the pair as she impatiently waited for the male to continue. When he failed to do so, she chided him along with a harshly spoken word.
"Are you perhaps waiting for an invitation?"
That was all the push he required, for shortly after her little outburst, his tongue shot off in a flurry of words. To his credit, he kept his explanation short and concise.
"Back in the Demon Realm, I was not killed but gravely injured after an unsuccessful raid, and was being actively pursued by a number of bounty hunters. I didn't have a choice-it was flee or death, and I wasn't ready to face the reaper yet. My soul barely managed to make it to the Human Realm, where I inhabited the body of an unborn infant that had yet to be assigned a spirit. In short, I was raised as a normal human boy with a human mother," he explained all in one long breath, almost as if he feared not being able to say it all because he would lose his courage.
"At first, I only planned to remain in the world of humans long enough to regain some of my ki and then return to the Demon World, but things did not go as I had planned. Not only was I not strong enough to handle the journey back to my youkai origin, I had grown quite attached to my mother as well and could not leave her." He paused to clear his throat for a brief minute before continuing.
"Interaction with the Demon World was impossible. My powers had been immensely weakened by the transfer, and the human body I had obtained-this body-would not have survived the trip even if I had been foolish enough to attempt it." He paused again to catch his breath, his chest heaving with the effort. Impatiently he waited for her response, feeling as if he was standing on the edge of a cliff, poorly balanced and ready to go flying over the side and plummeting to certain death atop the jagged rocks below. Katari held in her hands the power to make him or break him, that much he knew. Years without her, and within minutes of being reacquainted with her, he felt that losing her again would kill him.
Katari's mind was a jumbled mess. Emotions ran rampant, part of her screaming to forgive while the other demanded hatred. His explanation did make sense. Still, it did not quell the feelings of bottled up indignation and agony raging about within her. But could she truly fault him for a situation so obviously out of his control? If put in the same circumstance, she would have undoubtedly chosen the very same path-didn't that make her a hypocrite?
The siren kitsune wracked her mind, quickly coming to a unanimous conclusion-she would forgive him. She really didn't see any other option-after all, despite the separation and years of pent up emotion, she still loved him with every fiber of her being, and that, she surmised, was reason enough. However, she found it fair to rake him over the coals a bit before making him aware of that fact.
"You swore that you would never abandon me, and yet that is exactly what you did-you, of all people, know why I fear being alone…" she offered, her words cold but devoid of their cruel tone as they emerged from her lips.
"There wasn't a day that passed I did not think of you, Katari. I would never have abandoned you by my own accord," he argued gently, his words undeniably certain. A soft sigh of relief escaped her lips, and the unseen weight crushing her chest lightened, if only slightly, as he spoke his next words, effectively beating her to the punch line.
"I'm still your mate, if you'll have me."
At that moment, her mental decree not to look at him was broken, her head whipping around to stare up at this man she once knew so well, with wide, incredulous violet orbs. A sudden rush of warmth flooded her chest in that instant, her eyes locking with his own and unable to pull away from the lull of his intent stare.
The desperate misery reflected in those vivid emerald eyes, their intense hue now tainted by a tiny flicker of gold, was unmistakable and so raw. It cut into her like the sharpened blade of a knife. She found herself missing Yoko's golden eyes-they could go from cold hearted and deadly when in battle to warm and filled with such love when he looked her way. She nearly forwent her plan to inflict a final blow upon him, but found herself unable to deny herself the right of one more painful strike to his conscience.
"That body is not the body of my mate," she retorted harshly, her softly spoken words laced with deadly venom as her eyes narrowed into a vicious glare. The agony reflected in his eyes worsened at her cutting words, his hurt visible to the world without any notion of shame. Yoko never showed such emotion so recklessly-could he really have gotten so weak?
"In body, no, but in soul, yes. You still bear my mark, do you not? If you had truly forgotten about me, denied me, it would have vanished," he interjected, his voice rapidly becoming desperate. "And yet, you stand here and deny me as your lover. You aren't the only one who has suffered, Katari. We both have. Don't you see what being without you has done to me? Or are you too blinded by your own distress to open your eyes and see the truth?"
His brash words had the effect of the aforementioned knife burying itself deep within her heart and twisting itself. She knew in that instant, her final strike had been successful, and she would now cease fire. He could only take so much abuse.
"When I made a promise to remain your mate for life, I meant what I said. Your absence did not change that," came her response, her words shaky and heavy with emotion as she was unable to disguise the hurt in her voice any longer. The sight of the rebellious misery in his eyes rapidly dissipating into a bright ray of silent joy, a wide smile of relief breaking out his face despite himself.
"My body may be different, but my heart and mind are not. Will you accept me as I am, Katari?" he asked, his voice alive with new hope, like beams of sun shining bright through dark storm clouds. "Will you?"
For a long moment, Katari found herself unable to respond to him, her willpower suddenly lost as a wave of panicked thoughts flooded her mind in that instant. Could she truly accept him as her mate, even in a lowly human form? As weakened as he was, he was still the man that had somehow managed to steal her heart all those years ago. Wasn't love truly greater than any of these faults anyway? And then came the greater question still-did she really wish to take the risk of losing it all again? If she allowed him back into her life, allowed herself to love and be loved in returned only to lose it, she knew for certain that she wouldn't survive. Madness would set in, and that would be the death of her. Question after question plagued her mind.
Was it worth it?
Did she really love him that much?
There was no denying the answers to those questions; yes, and yes. Why fight a losing battle?
"I will…Kurama."
That name, however foreign on her lips, filled her with a sense of relief that she had not known in years. In time, she'd adjust.
There was no denying the genuine smile on his face now. She studied it at great length, decided that she liked what she was seeing, and allowed a small smile of her own to form upon her lips in response-the first smile to grace her lips in years. She vaguely wondered if her face would hurt from doing so later on.
"Thank you," he whispered, and slowly closed the gap between them, pausing just before her, their bodies mere inches away from contact.
Even in his human state, Kurama still towered over her by a solid foot, and possessed a beauty that mocked the standards of humans. With his long crimson locks, brilliant emerald eyes and sun kissed skin, he was truly an amazing specimen to behold. The baggy nature of his current clothing gave no hint to the physique of his figure, but from looks alone, he was lean and possessed broad shoulders. A beautiful creature indeed.
"May I…?" he questioned gently, reaching out with a single hand to brush a stray strand of thick red hair away from her line of vision and wincing when she visibly flinched at the touch. He went to withdraw his hand, only to have her firmly seize his wrist in mid air and guide it back, placing it against the curve of her cheek. With a careful hand, she covered the appendage with her own, causing it to mold itself to the shape of her face as she stared up into his eyes with an unwavering gaze. Absentmindedly, his thumb began to stroke the warm flesh of her lips, the rose hued swells soft and supple beneath his wandering digit.
"I haven't been touched by another's hand in years," she offered quietly, sounding oddly ashamed at this little declaration, "So forgive me if I seem a bit unaccustomed to it." Gentle understanding reflected in those bright green pools at her explanation, filling her with a strong sense of security-just like Yoko always managed to do.
A soft chuckle emitted from his throat as he continued his gentle ministrations, suddenly overcome with the urge to pull her into his arms and hold her like he had longed to do for years. However, based on her previous announcement, he deemed it best to voice his request prior to initiating it, just in the event that she reacted badly.
"May I hold you, Katari?"
Now she was the one to laugh. She knew he was just being a gentleman, heeding her words, but still. After all, mates did a lot more than just hold each other. The idea of having him ask if he could perform his other mately duties made her mentally giggle. Rather than answer, she reached for him, placing her hands upon the broad curves of his shoulders and pulling his body to hers. A tiny flare of pain from her previously puncture palms stung, but she knew that the miniscule wounds would heal over in a matter of minutes.
He took her initiative as acceptance and wrapped his arms about her petite figure, unable not to take note of the way she seemed to fit him with the utmost perfection, a leather glove to a slender hand. Her size and stature complimented his own, and the press of her body against him felt immaculate. This truly was where she belonged--in his arms and in his life.
She inhaled deeply as her body relaxed against him, her slender arms wrapping themselves around his neck and holding him tightly, her face burying itself in his firm chest. It was quite different from Yoko-a tall, yet smaller form and weaker build, but warm and with a beating heart. His scent was nearly the same, only with the taint of humanity, but earthy and deep, calming and familiar. It definitely wasn't the same, but Katari was certain that she could get used to it.
End of Chapter Three
A special thanks to my awesome Pherin for beta-ing for me and being awesome as always!
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, but I do own Katari!