Chapter 12
"Uh, sorry. I'll come back later." McKay hesitated, not really wanting to leave.
Jennifer looked up from her tablet as Alex finished straightening the blanket over Sheppard. After a quick glance at her patient, she waved him in. "It's okay. Come in."
He didn't move until Alex stepped back and he saw Sheppard looking in his direction. The colonel nodded once and a tired smile appeared on his face. Rodney took a deep breath and went over to him. The room was dimly lit and the head of the bed was raised slightly.
"Everything okay?"
"Yeah, as far as we can tell." The scientist fidgeted. He found it hard to see his friend in this condition. John looked quite ill and several days growth of dark beard accentuated the pallor. The affects of the pain were too obvious to ignore. He anxiously glanced at the doctor. "Is it okay to talk for a few minutes?"
"A few." She raised a warning eyebrow at him and spoke in a near whisper. "As long as you promise to be quiet."
"Of course. Quiet. I promise." Rodney readily agreed. He knew full well what his outbursts had done to his friend.
Jennifer picked up a glass of water with a straw. Not wanting to risk John's unsteady hands, she raised the head of the bed a little more and held the glass for him. He slowly took a couple of sips.
"Thanks." His voice sounded foreign and rough, but at least it was intelligible.
"I'll be right back." The doctor put the glass back on the bedside table and left them to talk. The nurse followed her out.
"Wraith?" A fear he wouldn't be able to help if they returned was just below the surface.
"The entire fleet left close to 26 hours ago." Rodney saw his uncertainty. "We're pretty sure they're convinced this planet is deserted."
"Where…," his voice cracked. He cleared his throat before trying again. "Where are they?"
"It looks like they're en route to a system on the same general course. The direction is close enough that it could be mistaken for the source of the beacon. They'll arrive in about eighteen hours."
John's eyelids drooped. He pressed his fingers against them then blinked exaggeratedly, trying to clear his vision. He looked back up at Rodney. "Inhabited?"
"Are you okay?" Rodney didn't like what he was seeing.
"Yeah."
"Okay. It was inhabited but the settlement was abandoned after a storm just about destroyed it. We sent a team to confirm no-one remained and left a device among the ruins that generates the same beacon sent by Atlantis." Rodney grinned with not a small amount of smugness. "I thought of that."
"Good idea. They'll fall for it?" He pressed the area above his right eyebrow and temple, trying to ease the persistent ache. Even though it wasn't quite as severe, the migraine was still vicious.
"I think so. I made sure the device was sufficiently battered. It'll appear that the storm set it off." Rodney saw him lose even more color. "I should get Jennifer."
John held up a shaky hand to stop him. "No. I'm fine. Everyone back?"
"No, we're still running diagnostics and verifying code. We'll probably recall those who stayed on Midway in a little while. Only a couple of dozen are there. Sam wants to run a full systems check before we let everyone who went on to Earth come back." He didn't go on to say they wanted to have Sheppard in the chair for that.
John rubbed his forehead with trembling fingers. There was something he was forgetting. It finally came back, or at least part of it. "The planet we thought the Wraith were going to. What happened?"
"M5Q-491? We think it's safe for the moment. The Wraith seem to have forgotten about it. The people are prepared to evacuate if necessary. We'll watch for any indication the Wraith change course for the planet and the away team is still there if anything changes." Rodney leaned forward. Something was definitely wrong.
John found the EEG pad on his right temple then felt the left. He peeled them off, causing the monitor to beep softly.
"What are you doing?" Rodney was alarmed by the action.
Dr. Keller hurried in, closely followed by Alex. "That's what I want to know.
Rodney stepped back. "What's wrong?"
"It's the headache." She said as if it explained everything. She automatically checked the heart and blood ox monitors then turned off the EEG monitor. "Okay. We can leave that off for now, but I want you to get some sleep."
"Can't you give him anything for it?"
"Don't need anything." John glared at them with hooded eyes.
"I know." She said softly. The possibility of an adverse reaction made her reluctant to override his resistance. There was also still some uncertainty about the stability of the city's computer system. If it went offline again, Sheppard needed to be as clear headed as possible, as if his current state was at all clear headed. She looked at McKay. "Would you excuse us, please? I'll let you know when you can see him again.""
"Of course." He reluctantly back away. "I'll…see you later."
John nodded once and closed his eyes. He was trying to breathe deep and slow to ease the pain but it wasn't working.
Rodney stopped at the door and looked back to see her rest her hand on his forehead and lean in close. Her voice was just audible. "Still bad?"
"Yeah." Then he said something Rodney couldn't understand.
He watched as Jennifer and Alex lowered the head of the bed then helped him turn onto his side, making sure the IV tube and monitor leads didn't get tangled. Rodney could see the movement was difficult. Suddenly feeling he was intruding on a vulnerable moment, he turned away.
xxxxxxxxxx
Rodney wasn't willing to just leave without knowing more about Sheppard's condition. He knew he should be heading back to the Gate room, but couldn't go yet. He walked into the scanner room and dropped into the chair at the controls. It didn't take long for him to need something to do.
Pulling the chair up to the computer, Rodney turned it on. He peered at the screen, reading the data accompanying the image. Without thinking, he slowly scrolled through the file, studying each image, the device's interpretation of the data and the doctor's notes.
"Oh, my god." He whispered.
"Rodney!" Jennifer exclaimed. He jumped as she hurried towards him. "What are you doing?"
"What is this?" He pointed to the monitor. "Is this Sheppard?"
She glared at him as she turned it off again. "Yes. It is. And you shouldn't have been looking at it."
"I thought you said he was getting better. Those scans don't look like it." He demanded in a hushed tone and pointed to the other room. "John doesn't look like it."
"John has improved, Rodney. The scans show his synaptic activity is returning to normal. It's slow, but it is." She explained, understanding his anxiety. She continued as they walked to her office. "The pain is still very severe, but it isn't as bad as it was when he first woke up yesterday. His vision has also improved."
"Well, it doesn't…" he stopped and stared at her. "Vision? What do you mean?"
"Rodney, the pain was bad enough to cause near blindness." She sat down at her desk. "Even though he wouldn't admit it, I know John's vision was getting worse over the last couple of days. It's similar to many severe migraines. I just didn't know how bad it had gotten or if it was temporary."
Stunned, Rodney dropped into another chair. "Is it? Temporary, I mean. Is it temporary?"
"I am hopeful. Like I said, it's improving. We'll have to wait and see."
xxxxxxxxxx
"Ready?" Sam raised an eyebrow at Rodney.
He swallowed hard and nodded. His attempt to put confidence in his voice didn't quite work, and he squeaked, "Ready."
She took a deep breath and turned to Chuck. "Dial it."
"Yes, Ma'am." He replied as he started the dialing sequence.
Even the kawoosh of the opening wormhole didn't allow the people in the Gate room relax. Each of them watched the puddle with a wary eye. Those in the control area nervously checked computers for any hint of trouble.
"Midway, this is Col. Carter."
"This is Dr. Lee. It's good to hear Atlantis is back online, Colonel." The scientist's disembodied voice echoed the tentative relief in the Gate room. Lee had been sent to the space station to offer any assistance possible. They all knew there was very little he might be able to do, but Gen. Landry wanted all bases covered.
"Thank you, Bill. We're sending a MALP through to test the wormhole's stability. I want you to send it back. If all goes well, our people can start coming home."
"Very well, Colonel. We're ready to receive the MALP."
xxxxxxxxxx
"It's good to have you back, Teyla."
"Thank you, Colonel. It is very good to be back." The young Athosian smiled and bowed her head then the smile disappeared. "How is Col. Sheppard?"
"The doc says he's sleeping." Ronon frowned.
"Sleeping?" She heard something in his voice that said it was not really sleep. "Is he alright?"
He shrugged. "She thinks he's getting better."
That did nothing to dispel their doubt. Sam bit her lip, thinking about her 2IC. "I'm sure he'll be fine. Jennifer said the best thing was for him to rest."
Ronon leaned against the console where Sam and Rodney were sitting. "He knew something was wrong."
"Excuse me?" Sam asked.
Rodney shook his head in disbelieve. "Oh, please. I know Sheppard…"
"He knew something was wrong." Ronon repeated. "Right before…"
"How could he know?"
"We were down on the south pier. Right before everything went down..." The Satedan paused for a moment. This sounded crazy, but it was too late. He'd said it. "John suddenly stopped, said 'What the hell?' and took off. It's like he knew something was wrong before it happened."
"John was acting quite oddly for several days." Teyla immediately accepted the idea.
Rodney tried to dismiss it. "Oh, please. Sheppard isn't psychic. He couldn't have possibly known."
"He is uniquely attuned to the city." Sam shrugged. Stranger things had happened in her years with the Stargate program. "The minor malfunctions in some systems in the days leading up to everything crashing were probably caused by the viruses. John may have been picking up on that."
"It would explain his behavior." Teyla said thoughtfully.
"Is that possible?" Even though he'd seen it, Ronon was skeptical.
Rodney wasn't at all comfortable with the thought. "No. Is it?"
Sam exhaled heavily. She decided not to recount the analogy John gave her about flying. Only a pilot would truly understand it. Instead, she reminded him of his own statement. "Rodney, you yourself said something was missing when you tried to activate the systems. Given his natural abilities with the Ancient technology, would it be possible that John feels that more acutely?"
He scowled at the computer in front of him before conceding, "Yeah, I suppose."
xxxxxxxxxx
"Are you sure he is up to visitors?" Teyla asked the doctor. She glanced at Ronon, who was standing at the doorway to Sheppard's room, looking in. "Rodney said John was in a great deal of pain. I would not want…"
Jennifer held up a hand to stop her. "Yes, he was, but he's gotten a few more hours' sleep, and I think hearing from Rodney that we were out of danger helped. The combination of the lights, doing another scan and moving him around didn't help. John slept much better last night, and really is better."
"Is his brain activity returning to normal?"
"Yes. The scans are showing improvement. It's happening much slower than I hoped, but it's getting there."
"Is there any danger of long term effects?" The young Athosian was fearful. She saw so little of him in the days before leaving for Midway. He'd looked dreadful the last time she saw him.
The doctor tapped the tablet cradled in her arm. "Look, this is all new to me. I've searched the Ancient database, but can't find any similar incidents. I hope not, but I don't know."
"When will you know?" Ronon's expression was dark when he turned to look at her.
"I hate to keep saying this, but I don't know." Jennifer shrugged helplessly. "I'm hopeful he'll fully recover. Sleep is the only treatment I can think of right now. To put it very simply, short of deep sedation, sleep is the closest thing to resting his brain as we can get. John won't let me sedate him, and I wouldn't want to go that route, anyway."
She could see their doubt.
"I think it's taking longer to get back to normal for a couple of reasons. First, the brain is active to one degree or another during sleep. Second, John was using the chair for a very long period and supporting the entire city pretty much the whole time. His synaptic activity went back to normal the first couple of days because he had longer breaks between sessions in the chair. After that, he spent more time in the chair and less resting, as well as keeping the Gate active twice."
Teyla wasn't satisfied. "John has never had any kind of adverse reaction to using any of the Ancient technology. It is normally effortless for him. Why was the reaction so severe?"
"I believe it was the amount of time and the enormous effort he put into it. I'll keep searching the database for any information that could help, but..." The doctor sighed in resignation.
"Perhaps we should come back another time." Teyla glanced towards the door.
"I don't think a few minutes will hurt. Besides, he's a bit restless. I think he'd appreciate the company. Just remember he's tiring easily." She walked into Sheppard's room with them. "Feel like a couple of visitors?"
Teyla immediately noticed the lights were slightly brighter and Sheppard's color was closer to normal than Rodney described. There was pain in his eyes, but not as much as the last time she saw him, and they were properly focused for the first time in days. He was sitting up in the bed and the monitors were disconnected and silent. Only the IV was still there.
He seemed pleased to see them. "Sure."
"How are you, John?" Teyla smiled warmly.
"I'm good." He put a water glass on the table next to the bed.
"I'll let you guys talk. Ten minutes." Jennifer said and she left.
"Thank you." Teyla accepted the chair Ronon pulled closer and sat down. "It is very good to see you. Jennifer says you are getting better. Are you?"
"Yeah. I'm good." He cocked his head slightly to one side. "When did you get back?"
"Only a short time ago, and I am very happy to be home." She glanced at Ronon, his unreadable expression was slightly disturbing. She knew the Satedan had been deeply worried for their friend. "I…I understand that Col. Carter does not want the personnel who went on to Earth to return just yet."
He vaguely remembered someone telling him already. "Um…Rodney told me. I think. Everything's working okay?"
"Yes, I believe so." She looked around. "It appears to me that all is well, thanks to you."
John shrugged then looked up at Ronon. "Lorne has everything under control?"
"Buttoned up tight."
"The Apollo remains as well. Col. Ellis delayed their departure until we are certain all systems are functioning normally and free of the virus."
John absentmindedly scratched his cheek. Seeming to realize there was a substantial growth of beard, he frowned. "How long…?"
Teyla immediately understood what he wanted to know. "The viruses attacked the computers nine and one half days ago. You have been here in the infirmary almost two."
He blew out a silent whistle. "Crap."
xxxxxxxxxx
"I've been running scans every twelve hours or so." Jennifer explained as she called up a series of images showing the progress of the changes in Sheppard's brain. Col. Carter and Dr. Reynolds studied each one intently. "The first is the one I showed you from his physical three months ago, Sam. Then you can see where we started ten days ago, and each scan since."
"The activity is diminishing, even if slowly." Beth read the data accompanying each image. The slides from the last two days of the crisis were both fascinating and worrying. The half dozen run since the computers were brought back on line were only slightly less so. "Do you think it will return to normal?"
"I think so, or at least close to normal." Jennifer responded as the latest scan appeared on the monitor.
"And, if it doesn't?" Sam wondered aloud, turning to the young doctor. "What would it mean? Would the headache continue? Any other side effects?"
"I don't even want to speculate." Jennifer turned off the computer. "Like I've said, this is all new. I'm still trying to figure out why the activity increased, and to the extent it did."
"When are you going to release him?" Beth asked as she continued to stare at the image.
"I'm going to run another scan this afternoon. I'll let him go right after that if he continues to improve. I'll keep a close eye on him until I know…more." She finished with a frown, realizing she didn't know how long that would take.
Sam compressed her lips, also understanding the uncertainty of the situation. She nodded. "Just keep me informed."
xxxxxxxxxx
Relieved to see the mess hall was deserted, Dr. Reynolds headed for the coffee urns. It was late and she just wanted a cup of the strong, black brew and some air before getting back to her reports. It was only when she walked out to the balcony that Beth spotted Sheppard sitting alone in a darkened area. It was nearly 0130, far too late for him to be here.
She was grateful it was the time of night when the prior watch had already eaten dinner and gone to quarters or elsewhere to wind down. The current watch wasn't due for meal breaks just yet and the next watch wouldn't stir for a few hours.
She approached him. Staring out over the city, he was oblivious to her presence. A half full glass of juice and a bowl of crackers on the table in front of him seemed to be forgotten. She paused, suddenly uncertain whether she wanted to disturb his thoughts. Seeing him draw in and slowly exhale a deep breath made her regret the unplanned intrusion. That was the sigh of someone trying to shake something off. Before Beth could quietly retreat, he looked up at her.
A shadow of disappointment passed so quickly over his face she wasn't even sure she'd seen it. His typical relaxed expression appeared. He had shaved but still appeared tired, not unexpected since Jennifer released him from the infirmary only a few hours earlier. He glanced around the empty space before speaking. "Doc?"
Beth decided not to try to put on her bedside manner. He would immediately see through it. Honesty and openness was advised here. "I'm surprised to see you up at this hour, Colonel. I thought Dr. Keller wanted you to rest."
"I've been sleeping for three days. I feel like Rip Van Winkle." He observed humorlessly and let his eyes swept over the city again. "I needed to get some fresh air."
"Yes, of course. You have been stuck inside for a while, haven't you?" Beth knew Sheppard hadn't been outside for more than a few minutes in at least ten days. This was his first chance to be alone and think in that time as well. "I'm sorry I disturbed you."
"That's okay. What are you doing here at this time of night?" The question surprised her. It was an indication he was open to talking.
"May I?" She nodded towards the chair opposite him at the table.
"Sure."
"Reports." She slid easily into the chair. "That's what I'm doing up. I need to finish paperwork for the dial in to Earth tomorrow."
He nodded sympathetically. "I'm supposed to write a report about…" he finished by waving around one hand and rolling his eyes skyward.
She chuckled sympathetically. That was going to be a difficult report. "Good luck."
"Thanks." John frowned and scratched the back of his head. "I was sitting in the dark or sleeping most of the time so it's going to be full of holes."
"The others will be able to fill those in for you." Beth reminded him.
He merely nodded, his eyes wandering back to the glittering city laid out before them. Paris would be jealous, she thought. It was a truly awe-inspiring sight. She watched him out of the corner of her eye as a surprisingly easy silence fell between them.
Beth took the opportunity to study him. The tension and restlessness were gone, but the change from their last meeting was more than that. She was suddenly struck by how completely still he was right now, something quite unusual for the colonel. It was difficult for her to tell if it was just weariness or he was deep in thought. She decided a little of both. Jennifer mentioned the migraine was not completely gone and the latest scan showed the extraordinary synaptic activity, while diminishing, persisted.
Hoping to get a sense of how he felt, she didn't let the silence continue too long. "I heard that Col. Carter and Dr. McKay are fairly confident the virus has been completely eradicated. That's good news."
"Hmm." He slowly dragged his gaze from the view and blinked at her. "Sorry. Yeah. They're still checking it, I think."
"Of course." She watched him as closely as she could in the dim light. "Ronon believes you knew the city was in trouble before it happened. Did you?"
John winced inwardly, knowing everyone already thought he was losing it. He scratched his head again. "Maybe. I knew something was wrong, but not what. Not exactly."
She picked up on his sudden discomfort. "Don't worry. I'm actually happy to hear that."
That made him suspicious. "What do you mean?"
"I believe it goes a long way to explain your behavior in the days leading up to the system crash. Sam and Rodney think the viruses were causing problems for several days. You must have sensed it, for want of a better word."
"I don't have any special spidey sense, you know." He rolled his eyes.
"Well, I don't know about that." She grinned. "Seriously, though, you have a unique, and strong, sensitivity to Ancient technology. From what I understand about how it works, I would've been surprised if you didn't sense something was wrong. It's a remarkable ability, John."
He shrugged off the observation and drained the glass of juice. The reaction didn't surprise the psychologist. Sheppard was the polar opposite to McKay's need for self promotion. She felt John probably never consciously thought about his abilities as a pilot or with the Ancient's technology. It was as much a part of him as walking or breathing and required no attention.
She also suspected John didn't want to delve too deeply into what he'd experienced. She remembered Rodney and Evan reporting a dead feeling to the technology. Their description was disturbing. Beth couldn't imagine what it must have been like for John to work in that for so many hours and the thought made her shudder.
She knew his body, brain and mind were still recovering from holding Atlantis together for so many hours but needed to ask, "How does it feel now?"
"The city?" He seemed surprised by the question.
"Yes. And you."
His eyes narrowed, but Beth wasn't sure if he was thinking of an answer for her or reaching out to feel the city. After a couple of seconds, he exhaled a deep breath and looked her in the eye. Even in the semi-darkness, the directness of his gaze was disconcerting.
"What the hell are you dong here?" Rodney startled both of them with his sudden appearance. He was still a few meters away but made sure he was heard. He carried a sandwich and mug of coffee. "You're supposed to be taking it easy, remember?"
John sighed then raised an eyebrow. "I'm just talking to Dr. Reynolds. And, I am taking it easy. Why are you here?"
"I got hungry. Fixing a mess that big in the computer system takes time and energy you know." The physicist sat down at the end of the table. "It's the middle of the night. Shouldn't you be in bed?"
"Just getting some fresh air, Rodney." He replied lazily.
Beth took this as her cue to leave. McKay looked like he was anxious to talk with his friend. She stood up, looking at John. "I guess it's time to get back to my paperwork. Gentlemen."
He caught her eye before she turned to leave. "What you asked before. Good. On both counts."
Her mouth formed a silent "O" before a pleased smile appeared. "I'm very happy to hear that, John. Thank you. Goodnight."
Rodney watched the doctor walk away then turned to him. "Good? What's good? What did she ask?"
"Nothing, Rodney. I thought you said the programming was fixed."
"Well, it is, but someone needs to go through what the people laughing called programmers did during this mess." McKay bit into his sandwich, chewed a couple of times then continued. "I've…mmm…to clean up a couple of iffy…mmm…in two subroutines. I wish the SGC would send…mmm…literate people. They're all morons."
"No they're not." John chided him gently. He knew Rodney, Sam Carter and Radek, as well as many others, pulled off an amazing feat. By all rights, Atlantis should be radioactive vapor.
Not one to willingly give praise to anyone else, Rodney shot back, "Well, I did most of the work, anyway. You have no idea what I have to put up with. They send me…"
John let Rodney carry on the one sided conversation as his gaze wandered back to the city. Zoning out the long-winded astrophysicist while knowing when to nod or agree was easy. Rodney didn't need anything more than a live body giving the appearance of listening. He was happy to do all the talking.
The headache considerably improved but still lingered. Jennifer released him from the infirmary only after one of the most thorough medical examinations he'd ever experienced. John's last scan showed significant elevated brain activity remained but she was fairly confident he would return to normal over time. The doctor wanted to check him daily until it did, so John was to present himself again at 1100 hours the next morning for the first scan. Much to his chagrin, Teyla and Ronon assured Jennifer he would be on time.
His vision was already near normal. It wasn't quite good enough to read yet, but he was enjoying the view. John decided he didn't need the year to pass judgment on the night sky here. Cloudy or clear, it would do just fine.
"Are you listening to me?" McKay's miffed tone broke through his thoughts. "I said I was sorry."
"Hmm? Sorry about what?" John blinked at him.
"For yelling." Rodney's annoyance softened immediately. "I'm sorry I yelled at you the other day, and…before…that."
John paused, not quite remembering what he was talking about, but an admission of guilt out of McKay was rare. He let the silence stretch out, rubbing his chin as if considering the offered apology. He finally sighed exaggeratedly, "Okay. You're forgiven."
Rodney eyed him critically then pushed back his chair. The apology was accepted too quickly, too easily. He could also see his friend was tiring. "Right. I don't want Keller to blame me for keeping you up all hours. Come on."
Sheppard let his eyes take in the city one last time. It had been close, too close, he thought. Again. One day, they might not be able to save her.
Rodney saw the pensive expression, followed John's gaze and understood. "Yeah. I don't want to do that again."
"No." John sighed wearily.
"Hey, come on. The sooner you get your head together, the sooner I can run a complete systems check." Rodney frowned at him. On seeing John's momentary confusion, he explained, "Remember? Sam won't let me do it until Jennifer clears you to use the chair."
"Oh, yeah." He pushed his chair back and stood up.
Rodney grabbed his coffee mug and stood as well. He hesitated, peering closely at his friend. "When you're ready, of course."
The End
Of this one, anyway…