Chapter 4

After years of dreaming of this moment as a kid, it had finally come down to it. I stood in front of the blue cube that could totally change my life.

It was called the Escafil device, Ax had corrected me.

We were in Cassie's barn, all six of the group members and I. Ax was fiddling with the Escafil device, and Cassie was feeding the animals. Tobias was naming the birds that were in captivity and their skills and the rest were lounging on hay.

((That one's an osprey. Both Marco and Cassie have osprey morphs. They're fishers and have really good eyes for looking through water. That means you don't have to worry about the glare from sun reflected off of windows and stuff. The one beside it is a turkey vulture, but I don't think you want that one.))

"Not really," I commented. It was pretty ugly.

((Then there's always the-)) he broke off suddenly. ((Hide Ax!)) he snapped, fluttering higher into the rafters. Ax dove behind a stall. An instant later, the door opened.

"It's okay guys," a voice said. "It's just me."

Everyone had tensed at Tobias' warning, but now they all breathed a sigh of relief. ((Don't scare me like that,)) Tobias said, moving back to his spot. I was surprised. Why was he talking to this guy?

The guy at the door was pretty tall with scruffy black hair and somewhat pale skin. He closed the door behind him and looked at me curiously. Ax stepped out from behind the horse stall casually.

"I'm sorry, but I don't believe we've met," the boy said.

"I don't think we have," I said, narrowing my eyes. Who was this guy?

"You must know Erek," Cassie said casually as she continued feeding the animals.

I concentrated. Where had I heard the name Erek before? It was familiar. He must have been a minor character. Someone who couldn't directly participate in the war. But why was that again? Suddenly, it clicked. "You're a pacifist," I said. "The robot."

Erek laughed. "Well, when you put it like that it makes me feel stupid."

"Yeah," Marco laughed. "He's an android. Geez!"

I laughed.

"So Erek, what's the bad news?" Marco asked.

I remembered that Erek had never been a bearer of good news.

"A free hork-bajir from the valley has been captured and is being lead to the nearest entrance. If you hurry, you can intercept them." A holographic map appeared on the floor. It was pretty cool. "They're heading for this entrance," he said as a red "x" appeared. They should be about here," he said as a dot appeared. I didn't know the scale, so I didn't know how far they were from the entrance. "Toby Hamee wanted me to tell you immediately. Hurry." Jake nodded, signaling that he understood the map. With that, Erek was gone.

"Okay," Jake said quickly. "Bird morphs, everyone."

Tobias swooped out of the barn. ((I'm scouting. Meet you there.))

"What about her?" Rachel asked, jerking her thumb at me as her face began to change. She was already morphing bird, as well as everyone else.

"Stay behind with her," Jake said.

"Who, mrrrf?" Rachel asked as a beak grew out of her face.

"Yeah, you," Jake said.

((But Jake--)) Rachel began.

((I don't want to hear it. We don't have time to draw straws, just watch Alex.))

In less than two minutes, Rachel and I were the only ones left in the barn. She had demorphed halfway through.

"DAMMIT!" Rachel yelled, kicking a bucket and sending water sprawling across the floor. She glared at me accusingly. "Everyone else is on an important mission and I'm stuck on baby-sitting duty. Where's Erek when you need him?"

"Sorry," I said, not really feeling very sorry.

"Don't give me that crap! You're just happy that you're getting your stupid animal powers! Do you really give two shits about this war? I'll answer that for you: NO! No, you just want to fly, don't you?"

I shrunk back slightly as she shoved her face in mine. Then I regained my confidence and met her gaze with stony eyes. She wouldn't scare me. I couldn't let her.

"Instead of fighting the war like I'm supposed to, I have to take care of little baby Alex here, who might run away if I look away for half a second. You're a burden on all of us!"

"I want to help!" I yelled back. I couldn't help it, tears started to form in the corners of my eyes.

Rachel narrowed her eyes dangerously and lowered her voice. "If you hurt a single one of my friends, my family or their families, I will personally kill you," she said cooly.

"I don't want to hurt anyone, I just want to be part of this team," I said, though I'm pretty sure my voice was shaking. one of the tears slipped and ran down my face. I hoped she wouldn't see it.

"Bull," Rachel said. "And what's this about us being in a book? How do you really know who we are?"

I shook my head. "I told you. Cassie told you. I'm telling the truth. I know all about you because I read the books."

"Really? You know all about me? Do tell, Alex. What do you know about me?"

I was frustrated. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. Rachel was supposed to like me. We were supposed to go shopping together and talk about cute guys. This wasn't the Rachel I thought I'd known. "You love to shop," I began. "You're in Gymnastics. Your battle morph is a grizzly. You try to get Cassie, your best friend, to do stuff with you, but she'd rather be mucking the cages here. Melissa, you're other friend, is the daughter of the assistant principal Chapman: a controller. You and Tobias like each other, but war is not a good time to fall in love. Then there's the fact that you resent yourself for being a merciless fighting-addict. Your parents are divorced and your mother's a lawyer." Now that I'd started, I could clearly remember almost everything about Rachel. She had, after all, been my favorite. Rachel waited patiently for me to finish. "You have two sisters: Jordan and Sarah. Your mom's name is Naomi. You're Jake's cousin, and you both have another cousin named…" I trailed off. I didn't want to bring that up. I definitely didn't want to bring that up.

"What's our cousin's name?" Rachel dared me. "Tell me, what's his name?" She seemed strangely unfazed that I knew all this. This was what she wanted to get to. She had wanted me to remember a specific incident…

"Saddler," I said, trying to look into her eyes without causing mine to water nervously. "His name was Saddler."

Rachel broke into a smirk. "Was? Now, why would you use the term was?"

I looked away. Her expression was like someone's nails digging into my skin. It pained me to look at her. That was why they were so suspicious. I remembered now. I didn't want to remember. "He's dead," I answered in barely a whisper. My stomach clenched, remembering the disgusting trick that had been played.

"So you do know," Rachel said, resentment dripping from every word. "You know what happened last time we got a new member."

I nodded. Speech was not an option at this point. Realization had struck, and I was in shock. Saddler had been a real person. David was a real person. The war was real. Yeerks were real. This wasn't fiction anymore.

"Then let me say this loud and clear: I am not merciful. You won't get the chance to live like David did. The last thing we need is another David, and I will make sure it doesn't happen."

I shook my head. "It's not going to happen."

"You'd better be sure about that," Rachel snapped, backing away to sit down in the hay. Her eyes never strayed from me, and I grew more and more uncomfortable as time went on. I tried to distract myself by looking at the animals in the cages, but I got goosebumps every time I caught a glance of her steely eyes. Her self-discipline was amazing. Her eyes never moved from me. It went that way for a very long time. So long, in fact, that it was starting to drive me insane.

I tried to break the silence. "What is that bird?" I asked, pointing at a large bird with light brown feathers.

Rachel's eyes moved for a millisecond and then came back to me. Her frown deepened, and I had a feeling that I had said the wrong thing. "That," she replied slowly, "Is a golden eagle."

I didn't know why she seemed so mad about it. "Oh. What's your bird morph?"

"You're the expert. You tell me."

I winced. She wasn't going to give in. "I don't remember."

"Oh, so you don't know everything."

I didn't reply.

"I have a bald eagle morph."

"What about the others?" I asked, looking at the cages.

"Why do you care?" Rachel said.

"I'm just curious," I said defensively.

Rachel sighed and crossed her legs, uncrossing her arms. She pointed to the cage to my left. "That there is a peregrine falcon." The bird inside was small and gray. "Jake's morph." She pointed to the cage above it. "That is an osprey."

"Tobias told me," I said. "It's Marco and Cassie's."

Rachel ignored me. "That is a northern harrier," she said, pointing to my right. "Ax's morph. And there are no red-tailed hawks or bald eagles here for me to show you."

"That's okay, I've seen Tobias and I know what a bald eagle looks like."

"I'd be concerned if you didn't," Rachel said sourly.

I waited, but she said nothing else.

"What morph do you think I should take?" I asked. I hoped that she would warm up to me a little more.

Rachel cocked her head, but not in a kind way. It was more like a slight turn, maybe so she could see the birds better. It wasn't in any way a cute or sweet gesture. "That one," she said, pointing to a brown and white bird. "The hen harrier."

I looked at the bird. It was almost as small as the peregrine falcon. It didn't look very strong, and it was pretty jumpy. But if Rachel thought it was best… "Okay."

"I'm kidding," Rachel said, smiling to herself. "Tobias told me those hen harriers only fly low to the ground. They're not practical and they're wimpy. What you want is that northern goshawk. The one we've got here is female, much bigger than males, and apparently they're pretty fast."

I looked to where she was pointing now. The bird was a dark gray-brown, but every time it moved I could see that its underside was almost completely white. Its eyes were an intense orange. It looked quite a bit bigger than the hen harrier. I liked this bird much more. "I like it," I said, standing up and moving to its cage. It didn't look like anything was wrong with it. "Why is it here?" I asked.

Rachel shrugged. "Don't ask me. It's not my job to keep track. It's probably just recovering from poison or something."

The barn was also different from the way I'd imagined it. The walls were a dark brown, in contrast to the red I had expected. The cages were all lightweight and big enough to give the animal inside sufficient pacing or fluttering room. The ceiling was very high and the rafters were thick.

Was nothing at all the way I'd imagined it?

"Can I use the phone to call my mom?" I asked.

"No," Rachel said flatly.

I fell silent. It seemed that nothing I said was right. If I just kept digging myself holes, I'd be so deep in it soon that I'd be suffocating. It was much better to say nothing at all, I decided.

After another long silence, in which Rachel glared at me like she thought I was going to whip around and try to attack, she finally spoke.

"Well," she sighed, "I guess there's no point in staying here all night. I suppose you get to come to my house so I can keep an eye on you."

Maybe there was hope. It sounded like she was inviting me to sleep over. "Okay," I said. Then she frowned.

"But you don't have the morphing power," she said with fake realization. "It would take hours to walk from here."

Oh. Now I knew what she was getting at. It was a bit manipulative, but I suppose it would work in my best interests too. "If only you knew how to work the cube," I said.

Rachel's eyes lit up. Everything was going according to her plan. "I'll figure it out," she said as she got up and jogged over to where Ax had dropped the cube. She fiddled with it for a while. I walked over, curious to see it up close. "Touch it," she said.

I followed her command. A small shudder went up my arm.

"Abra-Kadabra-Alakazam," Rachel said dramatically. "You're an Animorph. Now go acquire that goshawk." She pointed.

I walked over to the cage, trying to feel confident, but I was a bit unsure. I mean, almost every Animorphs fan as a kid tried to acquire their dog or cat or friend's parrot at some time or another. I wasn't so sure that it would work now. What had changed? Well, it didn't hurt to give it a try.

The northern goshawk did not look very excited about me putting my hand in the cage. As I reached in, it bit me. Hard.

"Hey!" I yelled.

"Hurry up!" Rachel said, returning from the back of the barn where she'd hid the cube.

"It bit me!" I told her.

"So bite it back! Just acquire it already!"

I reached back in and touched the bird. It pulled away and turned to bite me, but I pulled back. The bars of the cage were tight though, so I bruised my hand on the way out. "Ow!"

"Oh my god," Rachel groaned. "Move." She shoved me aside and stuck her hand in the cage, expertly grabbing the wing. The bird attempted to struggle, but quickly became passive. Rachel opened the cage and picked the bird up. "Here," she held it out for me. "Acquire it before the trance wears off."

I put my hand on the bird hesitantly and concentrated. Unlike other times I'd tried, I actually felt something. It's hard to describe. Maybe like if there was water running up your arm, except on the inside. When it finished, I let go and Rachel tossed the bird back in the cage.

"Let's go," she said. "I assume you know how this works."

"Yeah."

"Watch out for the instincts," Rachel said as her skin started to change color.

I concentrated. The first thing to change was my arms. Suddenly they grew way too long for my body. We're talking like, twice the size they normally are. I screamed. I felt bones and organs shifting inside of me and my hair was shrinking. I itched all over, but my arms were useless so I couldn't do anything about it. It was very frustrating. The morphing stopped as I examined the changes.

((Don't scream,)) Rachel scolded me. ((If Cassie's parents are here, we'll get caught. And don't stop morphing. We don't have a lot of time.))

I closed my eyes and kept concentrating, but I was silently freaking out. This was actually happening. I was becoming a bird. There was more fear than I expected as I felt the change. My body changing from the way it had always been.

When I opened my eyes again, my sight was greatly improved. I could hear better too. I snapped my beak experimentally, and noticed that I was hungry. I looked for food. There was the scent of rodents nearby, and I hopped across the ground in the direction of the scent.

((Alex,)) a voice said, but it was just noise. I continued on my path.

They were near all right. I craned my head up and found them on a table. I fluttered up to where they were. Ha! They were caged. They stood no chance.

A shadow blotted out the light. EAGLE! I darted away, but the eagle landed in front of me. NO! It stared at me.

((Alex, get ahold of yourself!)) Alex? Who was Alex?

Oh. Right.